"I don't know who you are." Yellow Diamond spat.
"It's only been- what- 16,000 years?" Dot said dismissively. "And besides, I'm not that easy to forget."
Yellow Diamond pursed her lips.
"Now, I know you know who I am, and Peri knows you know who I am, and Lazuli knows you know who I am, so why are you still putting on that lame act?"
"I don't know what you're trying to do, but it isn't working."
"By the way- your security is a little slack," Dot criticized. "I'm almost sure I could just waltz in here while yelling 'arrest me' at the top of my lungs."
Yellow Diamond rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you couldn't."
"Also, can I just say that your guards are totally perverted?" Lapis added.
"... m'kay then." Dot said slowly.
Peridot sighed, facepalming. Sort of. She has no palms? I dunno how to work with this, help me out, people.
"And just what exactly is this? Why is there nobody guarding you? Have you never heard of mutiny?" Dot asked incredulously.
"I am respected too much for mutiny." YD said stiffly.
"Respected?" Lapis repeated. "More like feared."
Yellow Diamond looked her niece directly in the eyes. "Whatever works."
Lapis looked down at her feet.
"Stop trying to murder gems with your eyes." Dot interrupted, and Yellow Diamond turned to Dot, glaring. Dot glared back and this went on for a few moments before the leader increased her glare intensity and the green gem warrior had to turn away.
Yellow Diamond used this temporary falter in Dot's vocal onslaught to take back control of the situation. "So, it really is you. I-" she began.
"-am crazy," Dot finished, nodding. "Yes, yes, I know."
Yellow Diamond gave Dot a furious look. Dot smiled at her. And then waved. Peridot covered her snickering with an intense, but fake, coughing fit.
"When did you get so insufferable?" YD asked incredulously, feeling more offended than she looked.
"I learned from the best," said Dot simply. "Y'know, I'm only waiting around for the right gem's memories to bury and convince them that they're someone completely different, I'm sure you know how that goes."
The leader sighed. "It was for the best, honestly."
".. are you sleeping?" asked Dot. "Because damn, that's a pretty huge and elaborate dream you must be experiencing right now."
Lapis snorted. "Ahem, ahem. Ahem." she pretended to clear her throat.
"Peridot, everything I ever did, I did for you."
"I'm flattered, really," said Dot. "But there's a whole lot of things you did for me that didn't need doing."
"You'll never understand it." the yellow leader told her.
"Fantastic," said Dot. "The day I become so twisted as to understand what compels you to do what you do is a sad, sad day."
"..granted. But, if you're Peridot, then who is she?" the leader asked.
"Peridot." Peridot said coolly.
"There should only be one of you." Yellow Diamond said with a sharp glare.
"There should only be one of you." Dot told her.
"There is only one of me. But why are there two of you?"
"Why are there two of you?" was the cryptic response.
Peridot smirked at that.
"There aren't- never mind," the leader groaned. "Can you just be serious for a little bit?"
"But of course." said Dot.
"Listen to me, Peridot. Everything I did for you, I did for a reason. I never did anything wrong, I only-"
The leader cut herself off as she angrily stared at Dot, who was nodding.
"No, no, continue," said Dot. "You know, this is really fascinating. I've never had a chance to see a pathological liar up close."
"I've had enough of you disrespecting me." the leader said firmly.
"Same," said Dot. "Like, honestly. It's not cool."
"As I was saying, I did everything for a reason. Nothing I did was wrong, if you look at things from my point of view then you'll see that-"
"Is that so?" Dot asked.
"Stop! Stop that!" YD said, drawing herself up sharply.
Dot looked around dramatically before pointing to herself. "Oh, you're- you're talking to me?"
"Yes, Peridot, I am," Yellow Diamond said. "I honestly need you to be serious right now. I'm trying to have a conversation with you."
"Yes, well, you have completely ridded me of any previous interest in holding a conversation with you that I had before. I'm only trying to ask you questions. You know, catch up? Geez."
Dot turned away in mock sadness.
"Turn around!" the yellow gem demanded, slamming her fist down on her desk. "That's an order!"
"Find your chill," said Dot, turning around, eyebrow raised, and then as an afterthought, "Dot- 2015."
Amethyst rolled her eyes from her crouched position in the tunnel.
Peridot was kind of shocked, and also kind of scared. Was Dot completely unaware of who she was speaking to?
"I've had just about enough of your sarcastic comments and detestable mannerisms!" the leader exclaimed, angrily slamming her fist down on her desk again.
Lapis widened her eyes.
"Mhm," Dot nodded, looking disinterested. "Yes, yes, believe me, I am totally taking your criticism to heart. Also, that thing's going to break if you keep punching it."
Yellow Diamond scowled. "Aren't you the least bit curious as to why I did what I did? I didn't bury your memories for no reason! I didn't have Serpentine killed for no reason!"
The tall leader paused as she realized her mistake. "I mean, ah, I, d'uh.. Serpentine wasn't killed for.. she didn't.. er.. I really should have thought that through before I said it."
The three Crystal Gems' expressions were those of shock, Garnet's eyes were wide, though you couldn't see them, Pearl brought a hand to her mouth, and Amethyst's mouth was slightly open and she leaned forward a little.
Dot's eyes narrowed. "You did what?"
"Dot," YD said. "Let me explain, it was admittedly not the best decisio-"
"You did what." Dot said, her voice dangerously low. She wasn't asking. At all.
"There was- I only wanted you to do what you were supposed to do."
"Dot," said Lapis, her tone wary. "It's not worth it."
"She killed her!" Dot shrieked. "You killed her!"
Yellow Diamond flinched. "I had a perfectly acceptable reason for doing so." she defended.
"No reason will ever be 'acceptable' enough! You- you-"
"-Dot," Peridot interrupted. "Please."
"She had her whole entire life ahead of her and you just took that away without thinking! You should be ashamed to- to even be alive!"
"Dot." Peridot said urgently.
Yellow Diamond looked on apathetically. "I did what I had to do."
"You did not have to do any of that sh-"
Peridot covered the warrior's mouth, feeling very satisfied with her life choices. Dot's expression was one of intense fury, yelling muffled obscenities.
"Peridot, in the end you will always come back to me," YD said, feeling very self-assured. "It's how you were made. Wha-"
"You're wrong," Dot said after prying Peri's fingers away. "I hate you!"
The leader blinked. "Hate is a very strong word, you know."
"I've got a whole bunch of stronger words for you," Dot hissed. "I hope your death is gruesome and excruciatingly painful, you vacuous, moronic, bit-"
Peridot covered the warrior's mouth again while glaring at the leader. Lapis mentally applauded her as Dot gave the technician a deadpan expression, prying the digits away from her with a medium amount of effort.
"You know, Dot," said Yellow Diamond with a frown. "Being so violent all the time will only land you in hell."
Dot just smiled. "Then I'm taking you with me."
Dot! *horrrified gasp* that is your mother you're speaking to!
..
Who am I kidding girl you go you gooo gruesome and excruciating painful death all the way like
you don't just kill someone's best friend like ohmy god
also can i just mention that tumblr decided to delete my primary blog on tumblr when i was deleting my secondary but you know what fine i'll make a new account
*gross sobbing while insanely laughing* nothing ever goes right for me lol
also yellow diamond how dare you serpentine is precious cinnamon roll too good for this world
i'm also trying to cast yd as a problematic mom who doesn't know how to mom and is inclined towards manipulation and violence and hating her kid's individuality so please tell me if that's working or not
dot's sarcasm levels: 300000
me: no. they must be hiGHER
btw dot be better than your mom is and pls dont go psycho that is all