A/N: Sorry I have updated for a while! It's hard to write smut when you have a real person job. I present to you some smut, and a baby. But not baby smut, 'cause that'd be weird.
···
The sunlight streaming in through the window woke Brenda slowly, drawing her out of her peaceful sleep into a semi-conscious state of worry. Was Sharon all right? What had Jack said? What would happen when they went to work the next day?
There were too many questions, too many worries, too many what-ifs, but for once, Brenda didn't want to run from the troubles in her personal life. She had been the queen of avoidance in her relationship with Fritz, just as she had been with Will and her ex-husband and every other man who had come before them. And yet, with Sharon she didn't want to hide. She didn't want to stick her head in the sand and pretend their troubles didn't exist. She wanted to face the worries that overwhelmed her, holding Sharon's hand, knowing that together they would find a way through. And she couldn't help but think that maybe having Sharon by her side would make surviving all the troubles somehow sweeter.
The brunette in her arms stirred somewhat, their fingers interlacing into a knot against Sharon's bare stomach.
Her bare stomach.
When had that happened?
A vague memory of Sharon stumbling out of bed earlier in the night came back to Brenda, and she smiled, leaning forward to drop a kiss on Sharon's shoulder.
"Good mornin'," Brenda said softly. Sharon just hummed, and pressed herself further into Brenda's arms.
They stayed like that for a while, not speaking, not moving, just holding on to each other. It didn't matter how late it was or where their cell phones were or anything, not now, because in this moment they had each other and that was all they wanted.
"Ran into Gabriel last night," Sharon said finally, breaking the idyllic peace that had fallen over them.
"At the bar?" Brenda asked, nuzzling Sharon's neck.
Sharon was quiet for a moment before responding, "In your kitchen."
"WHAT?"
Sharon wasn't entirely sure she'd ever actually heard Brenda shriek before that moment, and the full force of Brenda's voice at the highest possible octave directly in her ear sent Sharon's hangover into overdrive, and she pulled the blanket over her head with a groan.
"Sharon, what the hell happened?" Brenda demanded, pulling the blanket back.
Sharon did her best not to laugh.
Brenda was continuing to stare at her wild-eyed, however, breathing through her nose almost violently.
"It's ok, really. He came to feed the cat. We had a nice chat."
"Wh- Sharon what did you say?"
Brenda wasn't calming down, so Sharon tangled a hand in her hair and pulled Brenda close, kissing her hard. Brenda melted under Sharon's touch, forgetting her ire briefly as she lost herself in the moment. It didn't last long, however.
She pulled away, pouting slightly. "Sharon," she said in a warning tone of voice, "what did you say?"
Sharon shrugged. "Nothing, really. I told him you were back, so he didn't need to feed the cat. I wouldn't worry about it too much," she added, as Brenda buried her face in her hands. "I think I've put the fear of God in him. I don't think he'll tell anyone."
And there it was. Brenda was panicking because someone might find out the she and Sharon were together. Sharon tried not to let that hurt as much as it did. She had thought that after everything, after Fritz and New York and everything, they would finally be able to just be together, but the specter of work loomed large. Would Brenda really be open about this relationship in front of the men she worked with? Could Sharon really stay if her lover was ashamed of her?
Sharon was dangerously close to crying when she realized Brenda was laughing.
"What?" she asked, confused by the change in Brenda's attitude.
"I bet Gabriel just about died when he saw you," Brenda said around a giggle, and Sharon smiled, kissing her again just because she could.
"You should have seen his face," Sharon said with a chuckle of her own.
They laughed together for a moment before Brenda caught Sharon's face in her hands, all mirth lost as her face took on a serious expression.
"Sharon," she said, "I love you. And I'm glad Gabriel knows. And as soon as you want me to, I'll tell everyone else. I don't care who knows."
And what else could Sharon do in that moment? She pulled Brenda close and whispered "I love you, too," before they lost themselves together amongst the pillows and the tangled blankets.
Brenda was at a distinct advantage, as Sharon was already naked, and she had every intention of using it.
She trapped Sharon's wrists above her head in one slender hand, and laid nibbling kisses across Sharon's breasts, reveling in the little sounds her lover made as she shivered beneath her. This was what she loved most about being with Sharon; she got to see all of her, as she was, without hiding behind badges or clever little lines. They were themselves, and more, when they were together, and she wanted to stay this way forever.
Sharon, however, had had quite enough of being stationary.
It didn't take very much effort for Sharon to free her hands, and she put them to work immediately. She dragged Brenda back up her body, bringing her down for a bruising kiss. Brenda moaned into her mouth as Sharon's fingers gathered the material of the over-sized t-shirt Brenda wore, pulling it up and off.
Brenda shifted away, grinning as Sharon pouted at the loss of contact.
Before Sharon could say anything, Brenda rose up on her knees, easing her panties down and off, and Sharon's expression changed from pouting to practically hungry.
She pulled the blonde down until Brenda lay flat on top of her, skin on skin, lips on lips, long hair swirling together in patterns of light and dark against the sheets. Sharon's hands roamed, claiming every inch of her lover she could find, reacquainting herself with all the secret places she had found, and discovering new ones.
This was much better than talking.
Brenda writhed on top of Sharon, wanting desperately to take control, and wondering how it was that even from underneath her Sharon still managed to find a way to go first.
Brenda pulled her lips away from the warmth of Sharon's mouth, smirking when she heard the brunette gasping for breath as Brenda slid her way ever so slowly down Sharon's body. Away from her lips to her jaw, down the long expanse of her neck, over her collarbones and the crest of her breast, leaving teasing kisses and goosebumps in her wake.
By the time Brenda's lips skimmed over Sharon's stomach the Captain had developed a pretty good idea of where her Chief was going, and her legs fell open obligingly as Brenda neared the warmth of her center. Brenda's fingers found their way through the auburn curls and over the damp of Sharon's folds, and the Captain bucked up underneath her, desperate for her touch.
Brenda just chuckled against her hip, dropping a kiss there before following the path of her fingers with her mouth, tracing her tongue over the flesh she found there, smiling when she heard Sharon cry out her name.
Sharon caught her fingers in blonde curls, holding Brenda against herself as she felt Brenda's mouth against her in the one place she wanted, only remembering for the briefest of moments what had happened the last time Brenda had buried her face between the Captain's legs. Now was not the time for remembering the pain that they tried so hard to put behind them. Now was the time for discovering just how much they meant to each other, and when Sharon felt Brenda wrap her lips around her clit, she forgot everything except how much she loved the little blonde currently draped over her hips.
"Wait! Wait," Sharon gasped, pulling gently on Brenda's hair. Brenda stared up at her, worry written all over her face, and Sharon felt momentarily guilty for the confusion.
"Come up here," was all she said. She really wasn't capable of saying any more than that. Brenda still didn't quite understand, but she did as she was told.
Sharon kissed her deeply, and then ran her hands down Brenda's sides until they rested on the other woman's hips. "Turn around," she said, and Brenda shivered at the implications of that, but once again did just as her Captain said.
Brenda settled herself on top of Sharon, her knees planted on the mattress on either side of Sharon's head, bracing herself on her hands as she leaned forward. Sharon had anticipated Brenda's movements, and the moment Brenda lowered her mouth back to Sharon's sex she felt the brush of Sharon's tongue against her own heated folds. Brenda moaned against Sharon's skin, lost in the moment, the feel of Sharon , the taste of her, the cycle of need they found themselves in. Before this moment, Brenda had always thought that this wasn't something people normally did in bed, and now she thought this was what she wanted to do with Sharon every time for the rest of forever. They felt good, perfect even, moving together.
She could feel Sharon's moans against her sex, felt her graze the hard bud of her clit with gentle teeth, and it was everything Brenda could do not to scream, she redoubled her efforts and they came together, moaning each other's names, lost in a tangle of body parts and sheets.
···
They would have spent the rest of the day together, but Sharon had two daughters who were losing their father, and so she went home, leaving Brenda with a kiss and a promise to call later.
"Hello?"
"Sharon?"
Sharon sighed. "Brenda, thank God. I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner; it's been a hell of a day."
"Is there anything I can do?"
Sharon shook her head, and then felt incredibly foolish when she remembered that Brenda couldn't see her. "That's sweet, but unless you want to go to the airport and find Emma and drag her into that hospital by her hair, I don't think there's anything to be done."
"She doesn't want to go see him?"
"I honestly think she'd rather be physically tortured than speak to her father."
"What about Chloe?"
"She went. They had a real heart-to-heart, which is the main reason Emma's getting on a plane. She thinks he's tricked Chloe, thinks it isn't fair, blah blah blah…"
"I'm so sorry, baby," Brenda said, meaning it. It broke her heart to see what this man was doing to Sharon, even all these years later.
"I love you. It's ok. Thanks for worrying about me," Sharon said, and Brenda smiled.
···
They did not see each other on Monday morning. Brenda made her way into the squad room, clutching a cup of coffee and wondering how it was that they hadn't caught a case yet. She nearly ran smack into David Gabriel, who actually blushed, and stammered as he backed away from her. She just grinned and made her way back to her office.
Sharon had to endure another conversation with Will Pope, who was even more confused about her sudden return than he had been about her departure.
"Captain Raydor," he said, leaning in the doorway of her office, and she smiled up at him.
"Chief Pope, please come in," she gestured towards an empty chair.
"Glad to see you're back, Captain. I trust you won't be disappearing on us again," he said, studying her under one raised eyebrow.
"My apologies for that, sir," Sharon said, articulating her words carefully, speaking slowly to avoid showing her irritation. "I simply wasn't ready to come back then, but I am now, and I'm happy to be back at work."
"Uh-huh. And this renewed enthusiasm wouldn't have anything to do with the little vacation Chief Johnson took, would it? I don't think she's ever had a vacation before. She had to be talked into going on her honeymoon. Both times. And yet, you leave and she leaves, and then here you both are, back at work on the same day."
It was only her infamous self-control that kept Sharon Raydor from blushing in that moment. She clutched her hands in her lap and counted to ten, but by the time she finished Chief Pope had already risen and left her office with a chuckle. She was grateful for his departure; she'd just realized that she didn't actually have an answer for him. Brenda may have said that she wanted to tell everyone, but Sharon wasn't sure if Brenda was really prepared to make good on her outrageous claim.
···
The day dragged on and on, and by the time darkness fell outside her office window, Sharon Raydor was exhausted. She had only managed to communicate with Brenda through a few rushed text messages as they both discovered just how much work had piled up in their absence, and spent the day trying to clean up the mess they had made.
She made her way to the elevators, hoping Brenda was still there, and remembering with a smile the night she went to Brenda against her own better judgment, unable to let the Chief continue to suffer no matter how much they may have disliked one another. It seemed like such a long time ago.
When Sharon eased open the door to Brenda's office, she clapped a hand over her mouth, equal parts amused and surprised by what she found inside.
Brenda was sitting behind her desk with her head in her hands, and the sound of a baby crying filled the office. The origin of the sound was a small carrier in the corner of the room, and a little boy, only a few months old, red-faced and screaming.
"Brenda?" Sharon asked.
"Yes?" Brenda responded, not moving her head from the desktop.
"What is that?"
"That's a baby. And he won't shut up. I fed him and I changed him and he won't sleep and he won't stop crying and I think I am losing my mind."
"Did you try holding him?" Sharon asked with a tiny smirk, crossing the room and lifting the child easily into her arms.
Brenda finally raised her head, frustration gradually fading as she watched Sharon swaying gently back and forth, holding the little boy close and murmuring quiet nonsense until he finally stopped crying.
"You look good with a baby in your arms," Brenda told her, and Sharon smiled. She shifted the little boy carefully and held out her hand. Brenda took it, interlacing their fingers, allowing herself to be pulled close. She kissed Sharon, grateful that she'd closed the blinds. It wasn't that she didn't want anyone to know about them, it was just this moment felt too personal to be shared with anyone else.
"What's he doing here?" Sharon asked when she finally pulled away.
"Oh, child services was supposed to pick him up two hours ago. His mother was killed this morning, and we have no idea who his father is."
Sharon looked down at the little boy in her arms, his chubby freckled cheeks and dusting of dark hair, nestled against her skin, and not for the first time found that this job broke her heart. Only a few months old, unable to do for himself, unable to understand, left alone because the world is hard place and people are cruel. But holding the child close and feeling Brenda's slender hand in her own, Sharon couldn't help but wonder if maybe the world wasn't as unforgiving as she'd always thought.
"What's his name?" she asked, and Brenda smiled.
"Lee," she said.