AN: don't own
Chapter 21
BPOV
I sat and listen to my former best friend admit that she manipulated all of us in some game of hers; trying to get to the outcome that she wanted. I was about to interrupt her and tell her to just stop when she dropped the bomb on all of us with "I have my mate and now you have yours Jasper." What?
My mouth dropped open and my face took on a look of pure shock. What does she mean? Mate?
Jasper, reading my mind again, asked my unspoken question. "What do you mean mate Alice?" His hand still cradling me against his side, rubbing up and down my arm.
"Mate Jasper, as in soul mate. You and Bella are each other's soul mate."
My emotions went haywire. This was all just too much information. Jasper and I just told each other how we felt this morning, now his ex-wife, my ex best friend, is sitting her trying to tell me that I am supposed to be with Jasper as his soul mate.
"Alice, how much more to this story is there? I don't think I can take anymore. You are sitting here, admitting to manipulating all of us, to get the outcome you thought was best, without anyone else having a say in their own lives. Did it ever occur to you that you should just let people live their own lives?" I knew I sounded bitchy, but really how much more of this can a person take. For crying out loud, I was still human and I had a hard enough time admitting to my own feelings, much less realize that someone I once trusted with my life was playing with all my decisions.
"Bella, I know you are still mad, but please understand where I was coming from. When I first realized that you were Edward's singer, I saw him drain you. It was that quick. Once he decided not to kill you, I kept getting visions of you becoming one of us, I thought, in the beginning that it would be Edward that turned you, but I realized he was never in the visions when you woke from the change. But Jasper was. He was always there. Standing over you, protecting you. The love that he has for you was evident on his face. When Jazz finally told me that he has this desire to protect you, I put two and two together. I thought about telling Jasper that you were his soul mate, but every time I did, I saw that Edward would flip out and kill you. So I had to bide my time. All I ever wanted was for Jazz to get his soul mate and be happy. When I saw Demetri in my visions, I knew I was almost out of time to get it taken care of. We tried to wait as long as we could before heading back to Volterra, but Aro insisted he return. I think we are ok though." Eyes going blank as she checked whatever vision was playing in her head.
I was more confused. I could feel Jasper turn his face down to me. I lifted my head from his chest and looked into his beautiful golden eyes. Was he really mine? Forever? Could it be that I did have to go through all of this just to get Jasper? Would it make it ok that Alice ignored everyone and everything just so Jasper and I could have this? Would he accept it? I know his past now, I understood why he thought he didn't have a soul mate. I understood, I just didn't agree. But if it was me, would he acknowledge this, or no? Reminders of my past feeling of unworthiness crept up my spine as I got worried that Jasper would turn me and then leave me like Alice left him and Edward left me. I didn't think I could go through that again, mortal or immortal, that shit hurt.
"Yep we are fine." Alice's eyes popped open and she smiled at Jasper and I. Demetri pulled her into his lap, rubbing her arm. She relaxed into him and I could see the love she has for him. The look in her eyes reminded me of Rose and Emmett or Carlisle and Esme. But I never looked at Edward like that. And I didn't remember every seeing Jasper look at Alice like that. I knew I looked at Jasper like that. Could she be right? At one point, I told Edward I would never bet against Alice. Would I start now?
Jasper must have felt my uncertainty because he leaned down and whispered, "I could never leave you B"
Alice had looked around the room at everyone who was still reeling from her lengthy admission. I couldn't speak for anyone else, but shocked couldn't even cover half of what I was feeling. I felt bad Jasper was getting it from everyone here. I looked up at him and his eyes were concentrating solely on mine. He was thinking about something very hard. Probably trying to go through everything we had just heard. I found myself getting lost in his eyes, when I felt his hand on my cheek, sliding back into my hair. He pulled me forward a little bit and kissed me softly. Fuck if I couldn't feel that kiss in my toes. Shit, I hope I never got used to that feeling. It was amazing to kiss him.
Rose giggled behind me, breaking Jasper and I's kiss. "You have time for that later Bella." She looked over at Alice, "You know this doesn't forgive you. Even if you had good intentions, you can't keep playing with people's lives to get the ending you want." I was so glad that Rose and I had become friends. A lot of my confidence was learned through my conversations with her. She helped me become a stronger person. So leave it to Rose to put the cards on the table, so to speak.
Alice didn't even acknowledge Rose's comment. She just snuggled with Demetri and smiled tentatively at Jasper and I. "There is one more thing."
"Bella has one month to be changed. Edward broke the law when he left her alive. In fact all of us did, but I worked out a deal with Aro and he conceded that she can have one month."
For crying out loud, she makes these comments like she's talking about the weather. 'Oh by the way, you have one month before you need to die.' My heart started pounding a mile a minute; reeling from all the information that I had just received.
I untangled myself from Jasper's side and got up. I just needed to think. "Is that everything? Have you told us everything Alice?" she nodded. Smiling happily, glad she was happy. The smug little bitch.
"I need to think. Jasper, can we go now? To see Peter and Charlotte?" I desperately wanted to get out of this house. I didn't know if I had enough strength to deal with anything else. Jasper stood, grabbing my hand and smiled softly at me. I knew he could feel my strange 'cocktail' affecting him, but he was actively trying to NOT calm me down. He tugged my hand a little to get me to stop my track to the front door. Looking at Alice, he said "what is the deal with Aro? What did you promise him to give us a month for Bella to get changed?" I had forgotten that part of the conversation. There was so much being thrown at me that I almost missed what he was saying.
"It has nothing to do with you and Bella, originally Aro was only going to ask Demetri and I to serve for 5 more years, when I offered to double it in exchange for the month, he gladly accepted. He is intrigued by what Demetri and I can do together for the Volturri, so it benefits him. We will be staying with the family for the next month. Go, enjoy your time with Peter and Charlotte. In a month, we will come find you and witness Bella's change and report back that the situation is resolved." She looked sadly at Bella for a second and finished, "If you decide that you don't want to change, they will send someone to finish the job. You will be eliminated and so will Edward."
Oh great. Wonderful. So if I believe Alice, Jasper is my soul mate, I have 1 month to agree to change or I die and so will Edward. Not too much pressure on me.
It's not like I didn't love Jasper. I knew I did. I knew it was different than the love that I felt for Edward. It was so much stronger. We had such a good basis for a relationship, but that relationship was only a couple of hours old. My god, we only had like 2 kisses. I mean real kisses. But damn were they good ones. I could still feel the tingle in my toes when I thought about kissing Jasper. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts from Jasper's lips on mine. Would Jasper want to change me? Did I want to be changed? I kinda enjoyed living in the human world the past almost two years. Would I really want to give it up? My friends, Charlie, school…The second round of loneliness and unworthiness shot up my spine again as I continued wondering, what if Jasper didn't want to change me? We hadn't even had a chance to talk about any of this yet. And why should I be responsible for saving Edward's life?
Ugh, I have a headache.
Jasper nodded at the last bit of information, turned to the family and spoke for both of us, "Bella and I obviously need some time to discuss all this information. We are going to head to West Virginia to see Peter and Charlotte. We'll call you later." We grabbed out bag and walked out the door towards his truck.
Carlisle looked like he was going to interrupt, but Jasper just shook his head at him. He immediately looked over at Alice who was still smugly smiling in Demetri's lap. Sighing, he sat back down next to Esme. Pansy.
"What about my truck?" Like it was really important in the grand scheme of things. Jasper opened the door for me as I climbed into his, shutting the door behind me and flittering over to the other side, he climbed in and said "we'll figure it out on the way." He shut his door, started the engine and pulled out of the driveway.
JPOV
Mate. Soul mate. Bella. Mine.
Mate. Soul mate. Bella. Mine.
It felt like a mantra running through my head constantly set on repeat. Just prior to Alice's revelations I had thought the same thing in my head. Mate. I never thought that about my time with Alice, really never thought about that with Maria. But with Bella it just seemed natural.
There was no deception coming from Alice when she was telling us her story. Guilt and sadness, but nothing that would indicate she was lying or manipulating the story for her benefit.
Would Bella want to change? It's not like she has a choice, but I would give her one anyways. I won't speak for the rest of the family, but I would not have her give her life up if she didn't want to spend eternity with me. But to also be responsible for what happens to Edward isn't fair to her. I knew I couldn't live without her, ever since I acknowledged my feelings, I realized how much in love with her I really am. I simply couldn't imagine a day without her.
But she wanted to change for Edward. Maybe there was hope. The love I felt from her this morning was so much stronger than anything I ever felt before. It surpassed what I get from Rose and Emmett and makes Carlisle and Esme's relationship seem like puppy love. Yet as strong as her love is for me, it doesn't guarantee that she will want this life or even if she did, would she want it with me.
I looked over at Bella. She was staring out the window of my truck, tears strolling down her face. Crying silently. Every now and then, she would wipe the tears away with the back of her hand. She made no noise, but her emotions told me she was cycling. I just grabbed her hand and held it while I drove. While her emotions were playing havoc on me, I would deal with it the best I could. I wouldn't manipulate her in anyway. We needed to deal with this together, equally. I wouldn't decide for her what to do. But I would hope.
For the third time in this eternal life, I would hope. That she wants forever with me. Because I knew I wanted it with her.
I told Bella it would take us about 7 hours to get to Peter's place in West Virginia. Given the fact that it was almost dinnertime, it would mean get us arriving well after midnight. If Bella wanted to talk now, then she could sleep when we get there or sleep now and then talk. But if we wait, then we will have to have the conversation in front of Peter and Charlotte. Having never met them before, I wasn't sure which she would be more comfortable with.
"Do you want to talk about anything Bella?" I was still holding her hand. I had given it a slight squeeze to try and pull her out of her head a little bit. It took her a minute to answer. When she did, her voice sounded so defeated.
"I just think it's funny." I shot her a true look of surprise. Inquisitiveness got sent back to her, almost without my control.
"Care to explain, cause I'm not sure if I would agree with your statement. I don't know that I can find any humor in any of this situation."
"Well look at it from my side. Alice and Edward were the ones that I was closest to, while you and Rose were the ones that were more reserved when I was around. But those are the ones that have betrayed me and hurt me-deciding my life for me without my involvement. While you and Rose have become my closest friends. Carlisle and Esme seem to cater to Alice. I'm sure they catered to Edward as well and I was too blind to see it. I'm wondering how Carlisle lasted three hundred years when he can't seem to have a solid opinion of his own without Alice or Edward feeding it into his brain. Esme seems to have the spine of a jellyfish, and will follow whoever is leading, regardless of their worthiness of being followed."
I could see her point; she really saw a completely different side of Carlisle, Esme and Alice today. Rose, Emmett and I had similar conversations in the past discussing how Carlisle follows Edward and Alice around. Their talents were advantageous given our unique lifestyle, but really not all that powerful. I have met other vampires whose power was much more defensive and protective. Alice and Edward's powers were more passive. They would have more information, but that didn't mean that they could use the information to get ahead in a battle or most types of situations. Kinda like being 'book smart' or 'street smart'. In both worlds, you needed a balance of both to survive properly. Alice and Edward were definitely short on the 'street smart' side of life.
"OK, I'll give you a little humor, but given everything that happened today, I'm still shocked that the first thing out of your mouth is you think it's funny. You got an earful today, so did I. Don't you think we should talk about it?" We never really discussed her reaction to my history, then we have Alice and all the drama (as Bella puts it) that she brought and then the deal with Aro. We had a month to deal with this.
Would I still be happy in a month? Would Bella still be alive? Would Edward?
"Do you mind if we wait til we get to West Virginia? I know you will want to fill Peter and Charlotte in, so instead of rehashing everything over and over, maybe we can tell them and then take it from there." She slid over in the truck, to tuck herself into my side. I had missed her warmth while she was firmly planted against the window crying.
The same as when we were on the couch, I put my arm around her shoulder and began softly sliding it up and down. Her feelings were beginning to calm down slightly, I heard a contented sigh escape her lips and she rested her hand over my heart.
"Can you help me rest for a bit? That way I'll have some energy to discuss everything with Peter and Charlotte"
I nodded my head and sent her some of my sleepy time concoction; peacefulness, serenity and lethargy. Guaranteeing that would get some sleep while we headed southwest.
When Bella had drifted off into dreamland, I called Rose. I wanted to let her know that we were ok and find out what happened after we left. We only had about 2 hours left in the trip, so I knew there would be more to the story
She filled me in about everything. Alice finally admitted to everyone that she knew Edward was only in love with Bella's blood. Carlisle and Esme were shocked, disbelieving even. They swore that wasn't the case. I rolled my eyes as I listen to Rose. Of course, they couldn't do any wrong. What was it with those two living their lives with blinders on? We had explained everything to them after we returned from finding Bella; you would have thought they would have trusted us to tell them the truth. I was beginning to feel a little animosity towards them, and towards Alice. Rose asked if she thought Bella would mind if they came to visit us at Peter and Charlotte's in a few days. Emmett didn't think he wanted to hang out with Alice and Demetri. Apparently, after we left, Demetri started telling them about himself and Emmett didn't like his condescending attitude. Acting like the fact that he worked for the Volturri was better than anything in the world. Alice too. Rose told me Alice is acting like she is queen of the vampires now. Aro and the other two kings, treat her like absolute royalty. I hope she realizes that those three will also trade up if there is someone better and then she will be left in the dust, literally.
Alice and I's relationship had ended very abruptly. At the time, I didn't hold it against her. I knew she deserved to be happy. But I couldn't forgive her for what she allowed Bella to go through. Even without the whole situation with Esme being involved in getting Rose and Em to get to Bella, Alice was trying to control fate. Good intentions or not, she was wrong. She should have come to me back when she figured out Bella and I were soul mates and we could have figured it out together. Seems to me, like she didn't want to let me go until she knew she had someone else waiting in the wings. Maybe she couldn't stand on her own two feet.
I suddenly realized that Peter was exactly right when he told me Bella had to get over Edward on her own. It made her so much stronger than Alice. Earlier, when she stood up to Alice, I was so proud of her. Two years ago, she never would have done that. She would have accepted whatever was told to her, putting everyone else's happiness in front of hers. Now, Bella has a life altering choice to make and I would help her make it, but I wouldn't allow myself to control what it was.
Rose and I ended our call, I told her I would talk to Bella about them visiting and let her know the answer. I was pretty sure she wouldn't mind.
We were getting ready to pull into Peter and Charlotte's place. I opened the windows to let the cool air into the truck, trying to slowly wake Bella from her nap. I didn't want her to be startled by anything. Bella knew that my closest friends still fed from humans. While I knew she had accepted Alice's choice, I wasn't sure how she would feel about meeting two new vampires that were the same. I had thought so many times about this moment in the past year. Wondering what it would be like when Bella actually met Peter and Char. I smiled down at Bella's small form, still curled up next to me, hoping the three of them would become as close as I was with each of them.
"B, time to wake up, we are almost at their place. Just a couple more miles and we'll be there." She was rousing from her slumber, twisting and turning. Stretching her muscles in the truck was never the best thing to do, but it seemed to work for her. She grabbed her bottle water and had a swig.
"Ugh. I probably look like death." She giggled again. I shot her a raised eyebrow and she continued, "Well you guys are really dead and look fantastic, so I'm guess I look worse than death." Rolling my eyes at her, I just smiled. She would never realize how beautiful I knew she was.
Pulling up towards the cottage there were three lights on the outside. The simple design sufficed for our needs, much less grandiose than the Cullens properties. Peter, Charlotte and I were all raised in Texas, having similar type upbringings. These smaller homes were more reminiscent of our human life. I always felt a little more comfortable here than anywhere the Cullen's lived. I turned the truck off, glanced over at Bella who was staring at the front door. When I looked over I understood why. Standing at the threshold, with his arm around his wife's waist, was my brother.