It was the middle of the night when she awoke again. There was a sharp pain on her bottom, but every once and awhile, it would weaken ever so slightly.

She was laying face down looking up at the silver-adorned, black headboard and she felt a slight breeze as she came out of her sex-educed slumber. Realizing she didn't see Severus, she rose and tried to look around the room before she felt his long, boney fingers on her back.

'Try not to move, love. You'll get this anti-bruising cream everywhere.' He said with his soothing drawl. She now realized what was weakening her pain. Severus was down near her bum, gently rubbing the cream into her bruised skin.

'That feels nice.' She mused, still in her drowsy bliss.

He huffed. 'Well, I should hope so. You've been out cold for hours and it took a levitating charm to get you back in here.'

She sighed. 'Have you slept at all?'

There was silence.

'I…hurt you…I never meant to hurt you.' He said with a good amount of self-loathing.

Jordan twisted around the best she could. 'Don't you dare, Severus Snape. I told you to keep going. If anything, it's my fault.'

He looked at her through his curtain of sweat-stained hair. He looked pitiful. She sat up the best she could and rested on her knees in front of him, tucking his hair behind his ears and cupping his jaw. 'I'm not mad at you, Severus. You've done nothing wrong. So, there is no reason for you to sulk. You did not hurt me-'

'You're bruised black and blue and it's all my fault, I should never have agreed to do that to you. I…' He stopped and his water-lined gaze rose to meet her sympathetic one. 'I almost didn't stop when you finally told me to. I rose to hit you again and for a split second I was going to do it…'

She looked upon him and sighed, 'But you didn't, sweetie. Is that what this is all about? You almost lost your self control?'

His face twisted into one of loathing. 'I'm not going to be like him.'

'Severus, we've had this conversation before. You're nothing like your father. Would he have been up here, treating your mother's wounds? No. Do you remember the conversation we had the night I left Hogwarts?'

He shook his head. 'I'll never forget it.'

~June 15th: Jordan's Graduation Day~

Severus sat in his office after graduation thinking about nothing but her. The way her dress had accented her figure in the nicest way, the firmness in her handshake, and the look of dread on her face. He didn't know if that was because of Cedric Digory's recent passing or if it meant that she would actually miss him.

No. That was stupid to even think about. He should be thinking about other things at the moment, like how he was summoned to the Dark Lord in the morning to enact his punishment for not showing up at the graveyard in a timely manner the night he came back.

He got up and went to find the secret bottle of Firewhiskey he kept in case of emergencies. Just as he plopped back down into his office chair and took a swig there was a knock at his door. 'Enter.' He drawled, annoyed someone had interrupted him.

That annoyance quickly turned to dread as the brown-eyed, auburn-haired goddess he was just trying to dispel from his head peaked around the door with a slight smile.

'I hope I'm not interrupting anything, Professor.'

'Well, I can't say I wish you were standing where you are, but come in.'

She came through the door and closed it behind her. She was feeling very apprehensive. She had planned to tell Severus everything she had felt for him all these years tonight. It was rather poor planning on her part, but he had to know. He had to. She'd die if he didn't.

'I thought I was done with you, Ms. Brooks? I hope you haven't come to give me some heartfelt good-bye speech. I'm not exactly in the mood.'

She giggled and sat down in front of him, pretending not to notice his half-empty bottle of Firewhiskey. 'No, sir. But I did want to make sure you… you were…ok. You've seemed off color lately.'

'What the hell are you talking about, Brooks?' He chided, secretly feeling flattered that she had even noticed something was wrong with him.

'I don't mean…what I came to say is…'

'It's quite unlike you to be at a loss for words, Brooks.' He eyed her for a second. 'Have a drink. Maybe your lips will become a bit loose.' He said as he conjured up two glasses.

'Oh no, sir, you don't have to-'

'Take it.' He said warningly, holding out a glass. 'We both know you're an avid drinker. This may not be the wine your so fond of, but it gets the job done.'

She chuckled as she reached forward to take the glass of amber liquid. 'Thank you…'

'What I don't know is why you're here drinking with me when you could be doing the exact same with your friends.' He said eyeing her.

'I just…' She started, her confidence failing. Her face twisted a bit, 'I'm sorry, Professor. I promised myself I wouldn't cry.' She said wiping her eyes.

'You did come to give me a heartfelt good-bye, didn't you?'

She shook her head. 'I'm just going to miss you so much.'

He was completely shocked. 'Why?'

Her head rose up to meet his surprised expression. 'You mean so much to me. I don't know where I'd be without your kindness.'

'Kindness? Are you under the influence already, Brooks? I admit I've let you off easy many times, but I wouldn't call it kindness.'

She looked affronted. Maybe he didn't feel for her like she thought he had. She felt completely defeated but she had to say something to him. She looked up at him helplessly.

'I know that you have that outer shell that you never take off around anyone, including me at times. But I've seen behind it. You're not cruel or vindictive or abusive. You're loving and meticulous and you care. Sometimes you may slip up, but it's not my job to judge or criticize you. When I see you wallow in your self-pity, I feel as though my heart is going to burst. I hate seeing you sad and upset. I've seen it for so long, Severus. I don't know everything about your past, but I know enough.' She leaned up and placed her hand on his. The burning warm skin igniting her to go on even though she knew it could be for not.

'You grew up in an abusive home, but you don't have to live in one mentally for the rest of your life… You are so important to me. Let me in. I know the door is ajar, but invite me in.'

'What if you hate what you see?' He blurted out with a choked voice, lowering his shell without meaning to.

She got up and leaned against his desk, her hand still firmly placed on his. 'I could never hate anything about you. You are so special to me. I am more than willing to face those monsters deep inside you. All you have to do is let me in.'

He looked affronted and swiftly moved his hand ways from under hers. Although it hurt him to do so, he had to, for he felt out of control. 'Where is this coming from? How do you- Who are you to come into my office after you're not even supposed to be here anymore, and ask me to let you in to my personal life? I might have had a proclivity towards you Jordan, but you're crossing a line.'

She retracted in on her self. 'I'm sorry, sir… I just…' Her thoughts were rushing so fast in her head that she could barely even breathe. He didn't feel the way she felt? She was crushed. Shaking she turned away from him. 'I'll just leave then.'

His heart shattered. Was she not even going to fight him? What was wrong with her? He wanted so desperately to grab her and show her how he felt, but that was wrong. She was his student. He thought he had finally defeated those feelings he had for her. It had been months since her face and perfect body had been the subject of his alone time.

She reached the door and stopped. 'I truly am sorry… Severus.'

He sighed. 'As am I, Jordan.'

For a glimmer of a second, she felt as if he was calling out to her. Inadvertently begging her to stay. Then he spoke and sunk the nails in the coffin of her hopes and dreams.

'Go. Find Charlotte.'

She shook her head and left through the door. As it closed, he whispered. 'I'm so sorry. Please don't leave. I love you.'

She leaned on the corridor wall and started to cry, so mad at herself for not fighting him. But he was the one who fussed at her, and told her to go. How could she have been so wrong about his feelings for her? What was she supposed to do now?

Just then Charlotte came around the corner with a boy. They were bickering, but the moment she saw Jordan, she ran over to her.

'What's wrong, Jordan? What happened?' She asked, concerned for her friend.

'He doesn't… care for me… at all…' She sobbed, gasping for breath.

'Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I could have sworn he was going to say something to you tonight.'

'Yea, well he didn't.' She suddenly snapped back at her, her tears still flowing freely.

Charlotte cocked her head. 'Well, Justin and I were just going to see Will and Becky, I know that will cheer you up.'

She picked Jordan up off the floor and scourgified her face.

Giving her a hopeful smile, she pushed her tear soaked hair out of her way. 'I'm so sorry Jordan. He's a complete fool if he doesn't care for you after all this time…'

Jordan looked at her evenly. 'No. I'm the fool for thinking he cared for me. Now let's go.'

Even though her mind was far from her friends, she acted like she was having a good time as they took the long walk to the Three Broomsticks.

Little did she know, on the other side of that wall, Severus was trashing his office. He was so angry with himself and his life. She could have fucking made it better and you threw it away you ass! She was throwing herself at you and all you did was send her away. For Christ's sake, you love her! Go after her. He thought as he immerged from his office at a brisk walk.

~Present~

'I was so stupid, Jordan. You said so many sweet things to me and all I did was send you away.' He said with tear-laden eyes.

'Yes, but you can't send me away anymore. I still mean those things I said, Severus. You are important to me. And you still try to pull that shell down with me at times. I don't care how many horrible things you've done. I love you. I love you when you are sweet, I love you when you when you are an asshole. Nothing you do will ever make me love you any less. Like the staff, except completely devoted to you. Also, if you remember correctly, that wasn't the last time I saw you that night.'

He gave her a wry smile. 'I know… It's just hard for me sometimes. I've kept things pent up for so long, that it's hard to let them go.' He leaned up and pressed his forehead against hers. 'I will try for your sake though. Just work with me.'

'That's all I'll ever ask of you, Severus.' She said as she kissed his nose.

'I think it would be wise to exercise caution with our foreplay from now on. Especially after what happened tonight.'

'I agree. Although you think it's boring, a color system would work best.'

'My thoughts exactly. We'll work out the details later. Right now, you're going to lay down and let me treat your wounds.'

She smiled and kissed him. 'You're so good to me. What did I do to deserve you?'

'What haven't you done?' He mused as he kissed her back. 'Now, lay down.'

She did so and she immediately felt his hands on her again.

She sighed as he massaged her bum and soon, she felt no pain, only his warm, precise hands.

Not to long after that, he laid down beside her. She cuddled up to him and spread herself across his chest.

'Thank you, sweetie. It feels immensely better.' She said as she snuggled her nose into the crook of his neck.

His hand came up to her head and he began to run his fingers through her hair. 'You're welcome, love. Go to sleep. The hellions arrive in t-minus 15 hours.'

She chuckled and gripped his body. Quickly falling asleep as he draped his arm around her waist and continued to run his fingers through her locks.