June 21: Secrets

Author's Note: Epcot97 here and we find ourselves in what is now the third part of the story that started back on June 1 in Kiss. In this final chapter, we see what happens when Chat and Marinette find their two lives colliding and how they choose to deal with it. At least, I hope this is the final chapter - but all three of us are responsible for this entry. There are only so many days in June, after all.

Speaking of secret identities, I've created a heroic alter ego named Super Thomas who happens to own the rights to Miraculous. Unfortunately, CM has taken away my kwami. I was so close to world domination.

CM: I am LivreVer! I am the holder of the bookworm miraculous! I have the power to write a story in less than 2000 words! (just not this one…)

Ic: Less than 2000? Ep, what kind of mystical power does she have?! That Miraculous it too powerful for anyone to possess.

Chat Noir

After the third call went straight to voicemail, I started to get the picture - Marinette had clearly seen the livestream of my interview with Alya and was, to put it mildly, upset. I couldn't blame her. I'm not even certain I knew myself why I had blurted out that I loved Ladybug on live television. So much for clearing the air.

I tucked the baton away at the small of my back and looked out across the skyline from my perch. I'd escaped from the park a few moments after Ladybug's abrupt departure, after first thanking Alya for trying to help. Balanced on the wrought iron of a nearby rooftop, I wondered morosely how I could have made matters so much worse so quickly.

Why had I said that? Not smart, Chat, though not unusual, I suppose. How do I fix this?

The Bakery was not far from where I was situated, but dropping in unannounced felt like the wrong move. I'd checked earlier and the Bug Tracker on my GPS had gone dark, so I knew catching Ladybug for a chat was just as unlikely. I found myself hoping for an akuma just so I'd have a chance to talk to my partner, and then immediately felt guilty for wishing that upon Paris.

Shifting slightly, I watched the lights on the Eiffel Tower for a few minutes, deep in thought. I knew I loved Marinette, with all of my soul; I'd made my choice. Despite Ladybug's actions that day, introspectively reviewing my heart told me my feelings hadn't changed. There was no question I likely still had feelings, buried, for Ladybug, but I was ready to move on. I needed some way to prove this to Marinette.

My masked green eyes narrowed as one amazingly simply but incredibly complicated option popped immediately into my brain. If she realizes I am willing to trust her with my secret, maybe that will convince her I was just tongue tied, I thought, knowing that going down that particular pathway would risk the ire of my partner - or, my troubling, my ability to remain Chat Noir.

No, her love was worth the risk. The more I thought about it, my heart started to sing out that this was the right move. I pulled my baton out and leapt into the night, helicoptering into the inky darkness of the night.

A few rooftops later, I hesitated. Although the lights were on over the rooftop patio, but I was having second thoughts about my reveal to Marinette. Crouched on the brickwork, I'd nearly convinced myself not to go through with it when my feline ears heard the telltale ziiing! of a certain yo-yo. My head turned to the noise, and sure enough, Ladybug was lassoing her way across the night… and heading directly for the Bakery.

That's odd. I wonder if she's also going to talk to Marinette?

I laughed at that. I supposed both of us needed to apologize. I watched as Ladybug deftly dropped to the patio and trotted to the skylight; as she disappeared into the bedroom, I vaulted out and over myself, landing on my favorite chimney.

Marinette had to have heard me, for she was popping out of the skylight as I leapt down from the chimney to the railing. "Hey, Purrincess," I said, smiling. "Seems both Ladybug and I need to apologize."

"I saw the video," she said, nodding. "That was quite a performance, Chat."

"I'm sorry," I said, knowing I was wearing a contrite Chat expression. I even hung my head a bit, letting my bangs fall forward. "I don't know what Ladybug just told you, but-"

"Ladybug?" Marinette said. "I've not seen her tonight."

My head popped up, and I was sure my masked green eyes showed my surprise. "But… I saw her! Ladybug arrived just before I did."

Marinette

"Oh, that Ladybug. Yeah, we were just talking about how boyfriends who break up with you to try and be with another girl are the worst. Especially ones who do it on the live broadcasts instead of to your face. We agreed Chat. You are a major tool," I huffed, though I had only allowed a drop of her hurt and anger escape.

Chat gulped. "I-I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to say that. I don't want to break up with you," he pleaded,"please, it was just a slip up. A faux paw-a mistake." I noticed he forced himself to choke back the pun. This was not the time for that, and I was relieved that he wasn't going to make a joke of the situation.

"Chat, it's not about that. Even if you didn't intentionally want to hurt me, you thought of her when you went to profess your love. Your mind defaulted to Ladybug, not Marinette. And you have no clue how much that hurts me. I trusted you, even after all your stupid flirtin-" I panicked, realizing I had painted myself into a corner. "I mean all your flirting with Ladybug, I accepted your feelings for me at face value. I let myself LOVE you, you stupid, selfish cat. I ACTUALLY LOVED YOU."

I watched Chat's eyes widen, and he attempted to speak.

"I… I love you too Mari. And that's why I wanted to share this with you, to prove it. Plagg, claws i-"

"GET OUT!" I screamed,"I don't want to know your identity. If you think you can just hurt me, and then throw out your identity as some white flag of surrender, the answer is no. How many girls have you told your real name to, to get back in their good graces? HMM?!" I knew I went too far. I knew Chat treasured the secrecy of his identity, and that the only girls he had ever had eyes for were Ladybug and Marinette, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to hurt him back, to let him see how much I had suffered. And in my haste, I had revealed that I knew "Plagg, claws i.." was the phrase that detransformed him, but I was too angry to care.

"Please Mari, I love you more than anythin-"

And at that moment I went for the coup de grace. The fatal blow.

"Well too bad, because I could never love a liar."

Chat Noir

I felt myself recoil as if Marinette had physically slapped me across the mask. The depth of her anger surprised me, but maybe it shouldn't have. After all, I was in all probability on film somewhere stating how much I loved Ladybug. On repeat. Endlessly.

It had hurt that she'd thought my attempt to share my secret identity with her was a simple ploy, but not as much as the accusation that I had lied to her. Of all people, Marinette was the single person who knew me the best - and knew just how lonely I actually was. Although it was feeling a bit like my world had shrunken by one friend.

"Mari, please!" I pleaded, dropping all Chat pretense. "I need-"

"Get. Out. Now!" she screamed at me, which was enough to have me vault to the railing backwards.

"Princess-"

"NOW!"

Holding back my own emotions, I nodded and fell backwards into the night. Not really knowing what to do or where to go, I simply used the baton to land, gently, on the sidewalk below the Bakery, and then started to walk.

And then I stopped.

We were just talking, she'd said.

Ladybug had been there. I'd been right all along.

Then my eyes widened in horror. Had Ladybug been listening in on that entire conversation? I turned and vaulted back up to the sky, hurriedly helicoptering back to certain doom atop the Bakery. But if there was even a tiny chance that that both of the women in my life were there, together, I might be able to salvage something. Or get one of them to see reason.

Marinette was no longer on the rooftop patio, but that only meant she'd likely returned to her bedroom. I landed with a soft plunk on the tiles and tapped on the skylight, knowing I was pushing my luck. "Ladybug, if you are there, I need to talk to you." I paused a beat. "Actually, I need to talk to both of you."

"Go away!" I heard. That was clearly Marinette.

I leaned closer. "Marinette, I'm sorry, But you said Ladybug was with you-"

"She's not here!"

My head popped up. I hadn't been gone that long, had I? "When did she leave?" I asked, pulling out my baton and flipping open the GPS tracker. I'd have to chase her now; if she didn't have too much of a head start, I might be able to catch her.

"You just missed her! Now GO AWAY!"

I frowned. The little bug wasn't appearing on my map. The baton had never lied to me-

The baton had never lied to me.

I sank to my haunches, multiple thoughts crashing down upon me, connections being made that I'd been blind to. And, despite the craziness of it all, I started to laugh.

Marinette is upset I said I loved Ladybug. That is kind of funny. Because it looks like I do.

I kept laughing. This was actually kind of silly; but I also understood, now, why she was upset. At her core, I suspected she would feel like I could only love one or the other; the truth was, I loved her. Realizing she might hear me cackling like I had lost my mind, I stifled myself and wiped away the tears with a paw.

"All right," I called down. "I'm leaving. I'm going to… give you some space to think, 'kay?"

"Whatever! Go away!"

"I'll be back." I vaulted away into the night but didn't get very far before landing on a nearby rooftop in a crouch. By rights I should have returned to the mansion; it was late, I was tired, and I honestly had no idea what day it was any longer nor what was on my schedule for tomorrow (today?).

One thought kept running through my feline brain. I needed to fix this. There had to be a way to convince Marinette that I loved her - no matter what. Knowing that she wore the mask didn't change that in any way. I'd thought originally that revealing myself would do the trick; now, it felt like it was a last gasp effort that I needed to hold in reserve.

I thought about it more and realized this might not be a fixable-in-one-conversation kind of thing. I'd have to start from scratch (Hah hah, nice pun, Chat, I thought morosely), and get her to love me all over again. My ace in the hole this time, though, was she didn't know I knew her identity; I might be able to use that to my advantage.

Sighing, I turned and leapt into the night again, headed for home. If I pressed, maybe I could turn the ship in a few days; I couldn't live with either one of her personas being upset with me for any longer than that. If it came down to it, I'd reveal I knew her identity - and then share mine - if all hope looked certain to be lost.

Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

What little portion of the night was left after I de-transformed and pulled the sheets over my tired soul was spent staring at my bedroom ceiling. As much as I needed Marinette to come back to me as Chat, I knew I'd need to lean a bit on my alter-ego to prod her in the correct direction. It was a risky part of the plan I had in mind, for I was aware that she still harbored some feelings for him.

I smiled a bit tiredly, realizing I was now thinking of Adrien as my alter-ego - not Chat.

When did that happen? I wondered. I know I spend more and more time as Chat these days, but I never expected to swap positions like that. Go figure.

If Gorilla seemed surprised at my request to leave for Dupont earlier than normal, he gave no indication beyond his normal dour expression. I hurried up the steps of the school as the sedan pulled away, crossed the courtyard and bounded up the steps to our classroom. My intent was to be in place when Marinette arrived, and I was counting on her also having a sleepless night and arriving nearly as early.

When she appeared just a few minutes after me, I tried to hide my smile at having guessed her schedule correctly. I took it as a sign that I might be on the right track. Looking up from my tablet, I greeted her with a normal smile - not the megawatt model one. "Morning, Marinette."

She mumbled something and trudged up to her spot behind me, after pausing for just a moment at the base of the steps. For a long moment, I feared she was going to bolt from the room, afraid to be alone with me again; the last time it had happened, she'd enveloped me in a massive hug. It seemed like that had been a year ago now.

I turned around and watched her unpack her bag. "Is everything okay?" I asked carefully. I didn't have to add any concern to my voice - it was there naturally.

Those deep blue eyes looked up from her bag and locked with mine, melting my heart immediately. There was deep pain there. "You don't know?"

"No," I said. "I guess I don't," I added, desperately willing my face not to inflame. I'm terrible at lying, and it was even harder as tired as I was. I stood and came up a step to stand beside her. "Tell me about it," I prompted gently as I leaned against the desk above hers.

Marinette looked at me and made a decision. "Someone I care about… really care about... hurt me pretty badly yesterday," she said softly. "I feel as though they had led me to believe one thing, only to discover rather abruptly it was all a lie." Her eyes flicked up to the windows behind me. "Everything they said, everything they did. All of it."

"That sucks," I said quietly, knowing she wouldn't pick up on the subtext. I risked a compassionate hand to her shoulder. "People are complicated, Mari," I said, "and all of us have something of a… duality."

Her eyes snapped back to mine. "What do you mean?" she asked.

I smiled tiredly at her. "I'll give you a real world example. What did you think of me when you first met me?"

She started at that. "Adrien-"

"It's okay," I encouraged her. "Believe me, it's nothing I've not heard before."

"Well," she said, "I saw you as the famous model, as superficial as the billboards you adorned."

I nodded. "And now? Once you got past the pretty face?"

She paused again. "I know you have a heart of gold," she started. "You'd do anything for anyone, even if it's not in your best interest. Compassionate, smart… and a dear friend."

I smiled again. "And yet, I remain the famous model, right?"

She nodded. "I suppose so, yes."

"And you can still be my friend, even knowing that part of me?"

"Of course!" she said shortly. "What is your point, Adrien?"

I let my hand drop from her shoulder. "Only that sometimes we don't always see the 'whole' person - just one side or the other, and accidentally make some assumptions." I paused. "Talk to your someone," I encouraged. "Maybe the lie wasn't a lie after all; maybe, just maybe, there is a similar duality at play here."

Marinette frowned. "I kind of see what you're getting at," she said. "But I may or may not have led him to believe I never wanted to see him again."

Ah! No longer a 'they' - now a 'him.' This is good, I thought.

I stepped back down to my desk and turned back up to her. "I suspect if you asked, they would come. All I'm saying is that it's worth listening. I could be wrong - Lord knows I am most of the time - but you've lost nothing if you try."

She nodded, thoughtfully. "It's worth a shot," she said, "though I have no idea how to get ahold of him."

"Chat?" I smiled. "Put out cookies, I think. Somehow, I suspect he'll figure it out."

"Wait - I thought you didn't know!" she said accusingly.

I smiled the model megawatt smile. "I'm your friend, Mari. Of course I know - but my job is to help you get past your pain."

Like always, I thought.

"Go easy on him?" I added, more for my own sake than any other reason. "I have to imagine he's feeling just as hurt as you are."

"Probably," she said, looking at me as she continued to unpack her bag. "Thanks."

"Always, purr-Marinette. Always."

I thought I saw an eyebrow go up at my admittedly intentional almost mistake, but our classmates had started to arrive at that point; I buried myself in the day, willing the clock to move faster so Chat could make his visit.

There was a lot riding on it. Hopefully Adrien had done enough to make just enough of an opening for Chat to sneak back into her heart.

Marinette

Rather than pay attention in class, I did what I usually did… stare at the back of Adrien Agreste's head. Although this time, I didn't really see him. The words he'd spoken to me swam around my head. Not just the advice that he gave, although that was sound, but the fact that he almost called me Princess. His talk of duality also seemed to have a good deal of subtext to it.

I was trying to picture Adrien with cat ears and a smirk, and it was surprisingly easier that I thought. I had a vague memory of Alya once pointing out their physical similarities, long ago, but I hadn't given her idea much thought… until now. I thought over what I knew about the two boys, and I started to think they may be the same person.

I started to contemplate ways to test my theory. My first thought was to drop some cat puns and see how he would react, however part of me wanted to take a huge step back. What if I were right? What if Adrien was actually Chat Noir? Is that a truth I could even handle? My internal panic must have shown on my face, because Alya leaned over to me and whispered, "Girl, are you alright? You look a little off."

Without thinking, the words, "I'm feline alright, just thinking." slipped out, and I saw Adrien stiffen out of the corner of my eye. Dragging my eyes back to Alya I added, "It's purrsonal." Alya gave me a funny look that said she'd corner me later, but the posture of the blonde boy in front of me told me that the two of us were going to have to talk first.

The bell rang for lunch, and as I was leaving, I grabbed one of Tikki's cookies out of my purse, and, without a word, handed it to Adrien, where he was talking to Nino. Adrien had suggested I put out cookies for Chat Noir if I wanted to talk to him, and I figured that was as good an indication as any. I heard Nino call down the hall after me, "Hey! Where's my cookie?" but I just kept walking.

I was halfway home when I heard the running steps behind me, as Adrien caught up. I just nodded at him, as he silently fell into step next to me. Once we got to my room, still without saying a word, I continued up to my balcony, Adrien scrambling up after me. I sat in the chair, and turned to face him. "You are, Chat Noir, right?"

He nodded, his eyes looking anywhere but at mine, when he stated, "You are Ladybug." There was no question in his voice, he knew. Absently I wondered how long he had known, and whether it was before or after he had announced to the world he was in love with Ladybug. I had a sneaking suspicion he had figured it out afterwards, when he saw me arrive home, and then deny that Ladybug was there. I nodded in confirmation of his statement.

"So", I said, voice hesitant, "Where do we go from here?"

Adrien

I looked at her and smiled hopefully. "Well I was thinking that maybe we could unbreak up? Maybe we could even see each other publicly as Adrien and Marinette?"

She gave me a soft frown; it seemed that she was still a little upset about how the tables had turned.

"Oh, so basically you're saying that because your secret identity is a model who wants for nothing that you should be forgiven of all your sins against me? Why did you even think of saying you loved Ladybug, did you even know I was both girls?"

I could tell that her seething had ebbed to a gentle broil, and I struggled to figure out why I had made my bone-headed mistake.

"Well, no, I figured out who you were on your balcony. It was too impossible that Ladybug came to visit you, disappeared in your house, then left AND detransformed in a couple minutes before I returned. That and you two girls have the same pretty eyes," I flirted sincerely.

Marinette seemed angered at my brazen attempts to win her over. "So you just cheat on me with me, find out it all works out, then admit you are a super-hottie, and expect forgiveness? What horrible mental illness do you suffer from that would make you think that's ok? WHY DID YOU SAY LADYBUG?!"

I turned to her, starting to become frantic. I started to toss out anything that came into my brain. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

"W-well, I - after the first question I was just trying to answer Alya. I had loved you… er um… Ladybug you. And the relationship- partners and friends-I thought we would have that forever…. And well I kept getting interrupted and well… It was her fault for not letting me finish."

That really got Marinette riled up.

"So you said something you shouldn't have, for a reason you haven't yet explained, and because my friend did her job, while trying to be a professional, it is now her fault that you hurt me? And I'm just supposed to forgive you?"

I knew at this point that I was in trouble. And that turned into even more frantic thoughts, that tumbled out of my mouth, completely filter free. I tried to think what had happened that had made me utter such blasphemy against Marinette.

"Soo….we were there, and you were there, but I didn't know that because I thought you were Ladybug. And a few months ago Ladybug you assaulted me with hugs and whispered she loved me, after-"

Marinette cut me off, but I barely registered her. "You heard that?"

"... having never shown any actual affection to me as Chat….and then when we were at the interview, Ladybug held my…."

I stopped as I realized what had happened. Suddenly I felt my blood boil as my previous statement seemed to pacify Marinette.

"Yeah wait a second. You knew I only thought of Ladybug as a friend, but you pursued for more before I started dating you as Mari. And fully knowing that the only physical affection you had previously ever really shown me was romantic, you still chose to hold my hand on live television. You tried to make me cheat! With you!" Every word that spilled from my lips made me angrier.

Marinette seemed to realize that she had not been an innocent bystander, but had in fact played the role of one of the primary reagents necessary for the volatile reaction that had occured.

"So what do we do about this? Maybe I'll stay away from girls who play with my heart," I said as I began to walk away, already regretting my decision.

"You messed up big time, Kid," I heard from my pocket.

Yes. Yes I did.

Marinette

Oh no! I DID hold his hand as Ladybug, didn't I? I didn't even think about it. Usually, when we are together, we're in the middle of a fight, so any physical contact is incidental, but we were sitting together, on the couch, which I only ever do as Marinette. Holding his hand was just natural.

Adrien had only just made it to my skylight when I blurted, "You're right. I did it without even thinking. I'm sorry, Kitty, uh, Adrien." I sighed. You've told me that you feel more like yourself as Chat Noir, but I don't. Ladybug is this perfect icon that I could never be. Nor do I really want to be. I am Marinette. Ladybug is who I have to be. You said you fell in love with someone who doesn't really exist. That's why I was so upset. I love you. Now I realize that I've fallen for both sides of you."

I watched Adrien stop, hand on the trapdoor that lead into my room. I watched the tension drop from his body and he really heard what I said. He came over and stood near me, close but not touching. "I love you, too. I do love Ladybug. She's my partner and my best friend, and I don't think that will ever change, but I think you're wrong. I also love Marinette, who IS Ladybug. You may not see it in yourself, but I see it in you. Your bravery, kindness, determination and sense of justice, that's Marinette, not Tikki. Marinette is our Everyday Ladybug, and you are Ladybug every day. Yes, people may put you on a pedestal and think you are perfect. I know what that feels like; people do that to Adrien all the time. I want to be by your side, whomever I am, whoever you are, I want to be there with you."

My eyes started filling with tears when he said this. I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him close. "I love you too. You will always be my kitty, in or out of the mask. I just want to be by your side. No more secrets, alright? Together we can get through anything."

"No more secrets." He agreed. He leaned forward to kiss me, but then pulled back with a wicked gleam in his eye. "Come on. We'll be late back to school. We can discuss what to tell people later." With that, he threw me a wink, and dropped into my bedroom, disappearing from sight.

But not from my heart.