Chapter 21 Her Return

First there was darkness. Then a breeze caressed her, whispering of salt. Then she heard gulls crying faintly over a fainter sea. Adeladja basked in the scent and sound; she could imagine herself in a boat on the Bay of Danzig, rocking gently as the wood creaked and lines whistled in the breeze. The sails were filling, ushered along by the wind. She was moving somewhere, parting the waters, gliding easily. Someone handled the wheel, guiding them safely to a harbor, sure of the navigator's art. She didn't have to worry; all she needed to do was rest and put herself in their hands.

Sometimes she felt something warm press against her body, warm air tickling her ear and neck. She was grateful for the protection against the chill, the firm bulwark against the night air. She imagined someone whispering to her in a language she barely recalled, telling her it was all right and she was safe. So warm and comforting, she thought. They would trust the navigator to bring her home to her port, to tether the boat securely to its dock, and let the waves lap its sides as she slept. The fears and anxieties of the past few months were gone, sunk beneath the currents, while she rocked on top, as secure as a baby in its cradle.

She felt warmth slide across her body and her closed eyes tingled with the light. She dreaded opening them; what if her dreams were false and she were back in the Stadtschlosse? She wanted desperately to imagine she was anywhere but that uncomfortable palace, with its dark rooms and stifling air. Here, air moved, caressed her, and sang of the sea. The sea she missed so much.

Adeladja finally opened her eyes. She was in a simple iron bed with white sheets. Next to her an open window let the breeze in and sent the curtains dancing. The walls were papered with stripes and bouquets, and dark wood furniture hugged them. She inhaled deeply; the sea scent in the air was unmistakable. A gull's melancholy cry pierced the room, and she smiled. She was on the Baltic coast, she realized, and even though it was not her room in her house at Long Street, it was closer than Berlin.

She heard papers rustle and moved her head in their direction. She saw a young man in shirtsleeves at a table, writing. The white-blond hair drifting over his forehead made her catch her breath. She felt a mix of wonder and disappointment at the image of Prussia.

He looked up and before she could close her eyes and feign sleep, he darted over to the bedside. "Adeladja," he said. "Adeladja! Mein Gott, you're awake. Nein, Liebling, don't worry!" He grasped her hands, and she felt the strength and warmth in them. "Ach, Liebling, at last. What a relief." She looked up at him and saw his guileless smile, his eyes burgundy with affection.

"Where am I?" Her voice sounded strange to her, rusty from disuse. Prussia brushed her limp hair from her forehead, still smiling. She had seen him look tenderly at her before, but never this openly.

"Zopot, Geliebte.1 Just a short way from your city." He caressed her face and his hands were so gentle, she felt tears begin in her eyes.

"You said you would bring me back after the review. And you did. Somewhat," she whispered.

Prussia laughed, a little too gaily, she thought. But his touch was so tender and his smile so infectious, she let it go.

"Ja, you chose an expensive time to need a spa visit!" He tried to sound casual, but his broad grin gave his relief away. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, cheeks and lips. "You are back, kochanie," he whispered in Polish, "and that's the important thing. My dear girl is back from the grave, like Lazarus."

When he sat on the bed next to her, she couldn't bring herself to shrink away. First, she was unsure of her strength, like a newborn foal, and second, it seemed rude after his obvious relief and joy. "How did I get here?" she asked.

"I brought you here, of course! The German Empire, Saxony and Hannover came with me to help and make sure you would be taken care of." He grew serious as he stroked her cheek. "Do you remember losing consciousness after the review? That's when I knew something was wrong and we needed to get you back to the coast as soon as we could."

"And you did," she said, more to herself than him. She gazed at the wallpaper and then out the window. Bright blue sky arced over the green-blue waves that met the sand at a distance. She could make out gulls flying on the horizon. She turned to face him and smiled. "Danke, Mein Herr."

"It was nothing!" He said, trying to look at ease, but she thought he looked more like a schoolboy blushing under praise. "I've saved lives in battle before."

"Mortal lives. Have you ever saved an entity?" Adeladja asked. She reflected on the significance of what he had done and she felt something unlock within herself. "You saved my life," she said slowly. "Why, Mein Herr?"

"Ach, Adeladja, why do you think? Has your sleep addled your brain?" Prussia's sunburnt face flushed deeper. He bent over and kissed her forehead. "Kochanie," he whispered, "haven't I told you enough of my secrets? You're a smart girl; what do you think?"

She thought she was too tired to second-guess. Instead she lifted her hand and placed it over his. She stroked it, feeling the tendons and bone under the thin, scarred skin. She still felt weak, but it felt differently than when she had been in Berlin. There, she had felt herself seeping away, but here, it felt hopeful, like a newborn creature slowly gathering its strength. She looked up at Prussia and noted how eagerly he looked at her.

"What can I get you, Liebling?" He sprang up and went to a bell rope on the wall behind the bed. "Some broth? Some spirits? Maybe something more solid? They have good rolls here, made from local rye. Would you be up to that?"

"Rolls and broth sound nice," she replied. He rang the bell and when someone knocked at the door, he answered it and put in the order, along with some tea and coffee. He sat back down on the bed, still gazing at her. "How long have I been asleep?" she asked.

"Two weeks. Can you believe it?" His laughter sounded almost hysterical. "For two weeks, a nurse, Hannover, and I watched over you and put you in ocean-water baths and laid you out on the sand every day. The nurse, a mortal set in her ways, swore you'd never recover, but I knew better! 'All she needs is contact with her land and water' I said, and look, it did the trick."

"Where is Hannover?" The impropriety of being alone in a bedroom with a male struck Adeladja. True, they had been in his bedroom before, but she had been conscious. What had happened during her dreams, she wondered.

"She is out, taking a walk and respite from watching you. Don't worry, Adeladja," Prussia cooed, patting her thigh. "Hannover slept here on a field bed they found, and I had my own room. We did everything properly. Not a breath of scandal, ja?" The maid knocked and he fetched the bed tray with a bowl of broth, rolls, butter and a tea and coffee service. He placed it over her lap. "Eat up, kochanie," he murmured, offering a spoonful. "Now you can actually enjoy it!"

Adeladja took the spoon and fed herself. There was the briny taste of ocean fish and the delicate seasonings of carrots, garlic, and onion. It tasted familiar, like something she had had in her long dream. Maybe, she thought, this was how they had kept her from starving. She dipped a roll in the broth, heedless of etiquette, and took a bite. The chewy rye roll was delicious, hearty and flavored with the fish broth. Prussia sipped coffee, watching her like a doting babcia.2 It felt strange, she thought, to see him so caring and solicitous after he had been so rough with her at first. But here he was, encouraging her every sip and bite, dabbing at her chin with a napkin. She would have laughed at him, if she didn't owe him her existence.

A knock at the door and some German mutterings interrupted them. . The province of Hannover walked in and when she saw them, she brightened. "Gott Sei Dank!" She exclaimed, rushing over to the bed and kissing Adeladja's cheeks. "You are awake! Ach, Fraulein Danzig, what a relief! I should run to the telegraph office and wire—"

"The German Empire?" Prussia stopped her. He turned to Adeladja and smiled. Something about his grin felt harder and more forced than his earlier expression. "He has been worried about you, you know. He said that even though you were my city, I was his kingdom and thus you were his. Indirectly." He beamed at her as Hannover looked uncomfortable. Adeladja wondered why, but then decided feeding her strength with broth and rolls was more important instead. Prussia tended to her, buttering bits of bread and offering her some tea. Hannover went back to the chest of drawers and made herself busy.

"I guess we should tell the nurse, ja?" She said over her shoulder. "I'm sure she'll be amazed but delighted to hear that –"

"That her duties are over and she will be rewarded handsomely for her good care of Adeladja? Of course! You should stay a few more days, Monika, until Danzig is stronger and the chamber maids can dress and care for her. I'm sure you want to return to your city." Prussia got up and drew the female entity over to a corner. Adeladja couldn't hear their whispers, but she could see that Prussia kept interrupting Hannover and she looked displeased. What is this about? She wondered.

"Ja, I will tell her the good news, Mein Herr," Hannover finally said loudly enough for Adeladja to hear. "And then I will go to the telegraph office and wire the Empire. He will be relieved." As she collected her gloves and reticule, she turned to face Adeladja and smiled earnestly at her. "I am glad you are awake again, Fraulein Danzig."

"Danke, Fraulein Hannover," Adeladja called after the province as she closed the door behind her. She turned to Prussia. "Who else knows about what happened to me?" she asked.

"Saxony and Bavaria were there when you passed out, so I'm sure that every other German personification knows the story." Prussia shrugged and helped himself to a roll.

"Do you think Saxony told my brother?" Adeladja wondered if Poland had heard the news and if that had been enough to let Russia allow him to write. "Or my sister?"

When Prussia looked at her, he grew solemn. "I wired Vienna and Warsaw as soon as I could, kochanie," he said. He looked back down at the roll. "I haven't received a letter or wire from either of them." Adeladja put her spoon down; she couldn't believe that neither Feliks nor Elena would have managed to send a letter asking for details of her condition. Two weeks, she thought, that was enough time for a letter to come to Zopot.

"I'm sorry, Adeladja." Prussia placed a hand on her leg again and she twitched. "Maybe Ivan or Roderich didn't tell them so they wouldn't grow alarmed. After all, it's not like Russia is going to let Feliks come back here to see you, ja?"

"But Austria and Hungary would let Elena come," she said softly. Suddenly the soup seemed too salty and the rolls too hard to chew. Even the tea was too bitter and cold to sip. "Why wouldn't they let her come?"

"I don't know, kochanie, I don't know." Prussia kept staring at the tray. Then he grinned at her and took the tray over to the writing table. "But we will send them good news now! And they'll be happy to hear that you are back near your home, growing stronger again. Even your brother will admit I've done a good job reviving you." He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "You can write them tomorrow, and we'll even try getting you out of bed and seeing if you are up for a walk along the pier. You'd like that, ja?"

"Ja," Adeladja muttered. Something is off, she thought. She didn't think even Russia would refuse Poland the privilege of writing a letter to her if she were seriously ill. And the idea that Austria and Hungary would not let Krakow come to Zopot to help tend to her seemed out of character for them. Even a letter from Elena would be enough. Suddenly Prussia's caresses seemed unbearable to her. "I need to sleep," she yawned, and to her dismay, Prussia eagerly nodded and tucked the bedclothes around her.

"Of course, my sweet city, of course. I'll get dinner and Hannover will be back to check on you."

When Adeladja woke up, it was dark. She looked for Hannover's sleeping form on the field cot Prussia had mentioned, but she couldn't make out either in the room. The open window let in the ocean's night breeze. For a second, she imagined sneaking out and making her way to Danzig. But then the idea of walking along the roads in her cotton lawn nightgown, just as she was regaining her strength seemed ridiculous. In the meantime, she would pay careful attention to everything said and unsaid around her.

Over the next few days, Adeladja grew strong enough to stand up, get dressed, and go for short walks along the pier. The ocean view and air, along with solid foods, revived her. Prussia never left her alone with either Hannover or the solid mortal nurse, Frau Becker. He hovered over them, interrupting them with questions and directions about her treatment. Every day, they escorted her to the ladies' bath house in Zopot, where she soaked in a tub of ocean water and mused over the view of the beach. She watched mortals bathe and frisk in mixed groups, and a longing for past swimming excursions with her sister and other mortal women seized her. Soon, she thought, she would be strong enough to brave the waves, laugh and play in the ocean. She knew Hannover had a coast and she wondered if the female entity would join her. Then the two could talk and she could find out why she seemed so frustrated every time Prussia cut her off.

But in a few days, Hannover was packing her trunk and getting ready for the carriage that would take her to the train station. Adeladja and Prussia sat with her on the hotel porch, waiting for the coach to arrive. "Danke for caring for me, Fraulein Hannover," Adeladja said as she kissed the startled entity's cheeks before she embarked on her journey. "It was very kind of you to do so. I hope that you will have an opportunity to visit again with the United Kingdom soon."

"Danke, Fraulein Danzig. And ja, he is coming to Potsdam later in the summer, to see the Crown Princess and her children. When you return, maybe you could pay her a visit with us." Hannover smiled cautiously at Adeladja, darting a glance in Prussia's direction. He looked impatient for her to be gone. When the coachmen whipped up the horses and clattered off, he sighed and grinned at Adeladja. "Monika can be so very English at times. It gets tiring, ja?" He winked at her and Adeladja felt her old anxiety flutter within her chest for the first time in weeks.

But his behavior was impeccable. He kept to his room at night, checked in only after she had been dressed, and never did more than kiss her lightly on the hand or cheek. They strolled arm in arm along the pier, dined at the hotel or other restaurants in the resort town, and he made sure that she ate only the freshest fish and local produce. At night, they attended concerts or lectures at the concert house. Each day, Adeladja felt her appetite return and she could walk a little farther and faster. Soon, she realized, she would feel almost as strong as she had just before she had left for Berlin last October. And then, she thought, Prussia would want to resume their evening sessions again. She felt torn; she could remember how he had stirred up desire within her, but she knew that he would want to go farther, to the last act in their play. He wasn't being so caring because he was a generous, selfless nation, she told herself, but because he wanted to possess her.

He already did possess her, she realized one afternoon as she soaked in the tub at the bathhouse. Worse, she owed him. He could have let her fade away, but he had brought her back from the brink of oblivion. She would have to pay the price he expected, she thought, shrinking further into the tub. Maybe it wouldn't be that be that bad physically, but her heart rebelled at becoming his. She was Poland's sister, she reminded herself, and to sleep with her brother's enemy felt like an act of betrayal, no matter how pleasurable it promised to be.

She tried not to lean on Prussia's arm during their walks, and she muted her delight in the concerts and food he presented to her. She smiled politely at his jokes and small talk, but tried to keep herself from engaging too much with him. She felt bad about her coldness after he had done so much for her, but she didn't want him to think she could forget his harshness towards her and her brother so easily. Sometimes she even feigned weariness or headaches so he would not think she was strong enough for play. She walked a fine line between gratitude and indifference in order to hold off the inevitable.

Prussia made light of their circumstances. She could sometimes see the hurt or frustration flit across his face when she kept her answers short or edged away from his eager hands. He would even bite his lip and grow silent when she didn't respond the way a sweetheart should. He let her write letters to Krakow and Poland, and every afternoon, he made a great show of going through the mail he received. There was always a letter from Bismarck or the German Empire, with occasional ones from the Kaiser himself or other nations, such as Spain or the United Kingdom. But each night, he would sigh, "Nothing from Vienna, Warsaw, or Moscow, Liebling." He would gaze apologetically at her. "Maybe tomorrow, ja?" He would add and she would whisper, "Ja, maybe tomorrow."

Two weeks after she had woken up, they went through the same ritual. This time, she could no longer disguise her hurt. When he looked at her and said, "Maybe tomorrow, ja?" she could barely nod before the tears came to her eyes.

"Adeladja, please don't cry," Prussia said. He put his arm around her and drew her to him. "Mein armes Mädchen.3"He whispered. "It's been at least four weeks. You'd think…." He trailed off.

"I don't know why they don't write," she whimpered.

He rocked her as if she were a child. "Neither do I, Liebling, neither do I." He rubbed her back and planted little kisses on her hair and forehead. "Such a loving girl, such a dutiful sister." She nestled against him. He was warm and strong, and he smelled like hops, lemon and tobacco. "You have me and the other Germans," he whispered. "We've had so much fun these past two weeks with our seaside strolls and concerts. Monika and Gisil like you, Ludwig likes you. I like you."

"Do you?" She turned to look up at him as she wiped her eyes. "Do you like me?"

"Adeladja. Do you have potatoes in your ears?" Prussia smiled down at her, his eyes the soft burgundy shade that always calmed her. He squeezed her. "Didn't you hear me?"

She nodded, He kissed her cheeks, tasting her tears. Then he stood up, holding his hand out to her. "I have an idea," he whispered. "How about I take you for a swim?"

So what do you think of Danzig's reawakening and her attitude towards Prussia? How about Prussia's behavior? We're going to spend some time at the beach-isn't that nice? Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

1 German: Beloved, lover

2 Polish: grandmother

3 German: My poor girl