The snow was falling in heavy, wet flakes. Olivia could see it through the open curtains of her room's window and she watched longingly. It brought her comfort while Alex was away from her side and having coffee with her parents. Olivia was glad that Alex had her parents to support her; she would never begrudge the blonde the right to have a life outside the cramped, sterile hospital room. Instead, Olivia was jealous only of Alex's opportunity to do so and regretted only the absence of her girlfriend's distracting presence.
Since childhood, Olivia had thrived outdoors in the city. She reveled in the constant energy of the people in the streets and in the sights, sounds and smells that mixed to create Manhattan's unique environment. As soon as she understood her mother's distance and the reason for it, Olivia had turned to the city for her sense of belonging and she had, for the most part, found it. It was one of the many reasons she had become a cop. Now, however, she struggled to remember the last time she had taken a breath of what passed for fresh air in New York City. She couldn't.
Soon the ache in her heart became too much for her to stand. She had to move or scream or do something to prove to herself that she was still alive. Taking a deep breath, Olivia scrabbled at the blankets Alex had carefully tucked around her, tugging jerkily at them until she freed herself from their warm embrace. Chest heaving from even this first exertion, Olivia collapsed back onto the pillows and closed her eyes, taking a moment to reconsider her plan. If the simple process of throwing aside her blankets exhausted her this thoroughly, perhaps more action might be ill advised. Letting her breath hiss through her clenched teeth, Olivia shoved her nagging thoughts aside. These were the convictions of a victim, not a cop. Weakness be damned, she snarled to herself.
Struggling to keep her breathing steady, Olivia began the slow process of sitting up. Grasping at the mattress and bed frame for support, she levered herself upright and managed to drag her feet until her legs hung off the edge of the bed. Gradually, she leaned forward until her forehead nearly touched her knees. She could feel her own hot breath as she gasped for air and the coolness of the sweat already forming on her body. These signs of her weakness only served to further her determination. So much had already been taken from her. She wanted … no, needed … to do this, to complete this one simple task to which she had set herself.
Fumbling, Olivia tore away the electrodes that monitored her vital signs and ripped the IV needle from her wrist. Their presence made her feel tied down, forcibly restrained, and made her skin crawl. They reminded her of … She forced herself to forget, at least temporarily, the painful memories. She knew that they would only distract her. Instead, she glanced down at her dangling legs and at the heavy braces wrapped around her feet. She pressed her lips together tightly. This would be the worst part. Tightening her grip on the metal bed frame, she pushed herself off the edge of the mattress.
The pain was like an electric shock, bolting up her legs and through her entire body. For one terrifying second, Olivia was sure her knees would collapse and send her crashing to the floor and she desperately clung to her handhold. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her mouth opened wide in a nearly silent expression of anguish, her exhaustion turning her scream into the merest of strained rasps. After the initial agonizing stab, the pain receded just sufficiently for Olivia to regain a semblance of control. Instead of a shock, it faded to a constant throbbing radiating from the arches of her feet. Holding herself perfectly still, Olivia fought for deep breaths until she felt she could manage. With great effort, she forced her eyes open and focused on the window. Just a few steps, she ground out, speaking to herself. She could do it.
Reaching ahead of herself, first with one hand and then the other, Olivia shakily relinquished her grasp on the bed and began her progress forward. She took one step and again paused, gritting her teeth against the sharp agony and her own rapidly depleting strength. If only she could reach the window, she thought, then she could lean against it and take the pressure off of her feet. If she could do that, she might be alright. She took a second step and then a third, her harsh breath punctuated with gasps and sharp yelps of pain that clearly marked each shift of her weight. Just as tears of agony pricked at her already sore eyes, her fingertips met glass, cold and smooth. She pressed her palm against the window and felt her knees shake with relief and too intense exhaustion. But, before she took the final step needed for her to rest against the window sill, the sharp patter of crepe-soled shoes startled her.
Struggling to find the strength, she pulled her head up to look behind her but the movement compromised her already uncertain balance. As she felt herself fall, she managed only to glimpse the rushing bodies and distorted faces of people running toward her. Her heart seemed to skip a beat, as if momentarily frozen in icy terror, before she hit the floor. The jarring pain erased all conscious thought of her whereabouts and she was thrust into instinctual panic. She had tried to escape but failed. They were coming for her, coming to take her back and continue torturing her. Adrenaline fueling her movements, Olivia lashed out with her foot, making a solid connection with a stranger's ankle. Olivia was rewarded with only the briefest moment of hope before the pain searing up her leg shattered even that tiny thought. Blinding whiteness obscured her vision for a fraction of a second before hands seized her. It was all over.
When sharply issued commands failed, Alex threw herself among the busy nurses and bodily hauled one away from her girlfriend's bedside. Ignoring their terse words and shooing gestures, Alex bent protectively over Olivia and glanced fiercely around at the four men and women. "You three," she snarled, blue eyes flashing with overpowering fury. "Get out or I'll sue each and every one of you for abusing a patient." As she spoke, she fixed each nurse with a moment of her glare. "And you, I want you to stay and explain what is going on here." Finishing her snapped speech, Alex focused on the woman beneath her crouched body. Instantly, her expression softened dramatically and her chest tightened with worry and loving protectiveness.
Olivia was red-faced with panicked exertion and sweat had already soaked the hair at her temples. She wheezed for breath through clenched teeth and her eyes were screwed tightly shut. Swallowing hard in order to maintain her own calm, Alex gently touched Olivia's cheek and parted her lips to begin her familiar litany of soothing words and phrases. Olivia jerked violently at the touch, despite Alex's efforts, and the blonde quickly drew her hand away. Something about Olivia's movements unsettled Alex. Though Olivia was certainly weak, Alex was by now terribly familiar with her flinching and nervous tics. This stunted motion, however, was new.
With absolute horror, Alex discovered the reason for Olivia's stiffness and paused for only a second before again leaping into action. Controlling her own ferocity and panic only for Olivia's sake, Alex tore away the nylon strap binding Olivia's wrist to the bed frame. Hands trembling, she freed Olivia's other wrist before glaring over her shoulder at the lone remaining nurse. Their eyes were locked for a long moment before the nurse, an unfamiliar brunette, conceded defeat and moved to remove the straps from Olivia's ankles. Returning all of her attention to her beloved girlfriend, Alex caressed Olivia's hands before placing them gently on the mattress at her sides. With sorrowful hope rising in the pit of her chest, Alex used all of her self control to force a small but tender smile onto her face.
As Alex whispered to her, Olivia opened her eyes, though her chest still hitched uncertainly and her newly freed hands clenched reflexively at the wrinkled sheets. Slowly, the panicked blankness left her eyes and she focused on Alex's presence. She blinked and Alex was still with her. She wasn't a dream. Suddenly, Olivia felt cold, as if she had fallen through the ice on a frigid winter day. She shut her eyes and dragged her hands across her belly, hugging herself and searching for warmth that seemed just out of her grasp. She thought of the snow and struggled to turn and curl in on herself. She was so tired. Freezing to death was just like falling slowly to sleep and she wanted so desperately to sleep.
Alex snatched a handful of tissues from the box at Olivia's bedside and began to gently dab away the sweat from her suffering girlfriend's forehead and cheeks. Keeping her movements carefully controlled, Alex turned to glance at the still-waiting nurse. "Bring me warm blankets and a new gown. She's drenched in sweat." This time, as she spoke, her voice lost a fraction of her viciousness and became slightly more human. With a pang of regret at the Olivia's suffering, the nurse nodded with greater gentleness than previously and hurried away. Alex resumed her careful patting, periodically tossing the tissues away as they became soaked. Even as Alex touched her, Olivia remained perfectly still but for her breathy moans and shivering. Alex bit her lip. She was desperate to know what had happened here, what could possibly have resulted in her girlfriend being forcibly tied down and terrorized. When she had left to meet her mother and father, Olivia had been fine, as fine as could be expected in her situation. It had taken only half an hour to shatter Olivia's tenuous peace. Alex bit back her tears.