Chapter 21- Conferences
No one stopped Chelsea from leaving. It wasn't like she was going to go very far. If the imprinting affected her like the rest of the imprintees' – myself included - she would have just as hard a time being away from Seth as he would have being away from her. It wouldn't be impossible for her to leave – I had done it, after all – but she didn't seem to have the necessity for self-exploration. She had already come to terms with what she was, and she was content with it.
"Five bucks says Leah kills him when he tells her," Embry said to Quil.
"Five bucks says Leah kills Chelsea when he tells her," Quil returned.
"Five bucks says he won't tell her anything," I joined them.
Upon realizing that I was paying attention to them – they were naked from their fly-phasing – their cheeks burned pink, and they tried ineffectively to cover themselves. I, on the other hand, wasn't embarrassed at all. It didn't matter whether they were clothed or not. The only person who affected me in that way was Jacob. My feelings for them were purely maternal, which was a good thing, because I imagined there would be a lot more opportunities to view his pack members in the buff. The last thing I wanted was to feel awkward. I did, however, find it entertaining to watch them squirm.
They bolted into the cabin, and I shrugged, feeling Jacob's hand squeeze mine.
"Don't tell me you thought I was ogling them," I said on a sigh.
"Did I say that?" he asked, lifting a brow.
"You didn't have to say it," I countered.
"Someone's awfully defensive," Jacob persisted, smirking.
I tried to pull my hand away to slap his arm for teasing me, but he held it firmly in his.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you," he said seriously. "But whatever it is, I hope I figure it out so that I can keep doing it."
I smiled and lifted on my toes to kiss him softly on the lips.
"Those things that she said -" he continued.
"They were true," I interrupted him.
He pulled his hands up to my face, bringing mine along with them. "Don't ever say that. You really don't see yourself as others see you. It's part of your charm and part of the reason you are such a good person."
There was no point in arguing with him. I knew how I viewed myself was not always accurate, but he didn't see things clearly either – not with the imprinting haze skewing his sight. I knew he loved me and was my soul mate, but that also meant he couldn't view me objectively. He couldn't see the truth in Chelsea's words, and I wasn't about to start a fight between us when we needed to be united for a bigger battle.
"It's going to be a busy day," I noted.
"On the bright side," Jacob said enthusiastically. "The quicker the day goes by, the quicker bedtime comes."
"I like how you think," I returned. "Maybe we'll have time for a nap."
"I think that could be arranged," he said, feigning a yawn. "Being Alpha has its perks."
When Embry and Quil exited the house, partly clothed, Jacob spoke again. "I'll lay five bucks on her bet."
"Easy money," Embry joked.
"For me it is," I replied. "Especially when I'll be the one telling her."
They all looked at me then.
"Someone has to," I explained. "Something tells me I'd be the best candidate for the job."
"Sure, if you have a death wish," Quil mused.
"Good luck with that," Embry added.
"I don't need luck," I countered, refusing to show how nervous the prospect made me.
"Yeah, you need full body armor," Quil persisted. "You'd better take our fearless leader here with you."
"It would probably be better if I went alone," I replied. "If I bring in the troops, she will know immediately something is amiss. It would be better to start things off on the right foot."
"In that case, you'd better wear some steel-toed boots," Embry joked.
"While I appreciate your volunteering, I think they are right," Jacob argued.
"You need to gather your pack here for the meeting," I reminded him. "If we're going to have time for a rest, we'll have to divide and conquer."
While he was hesitant to agree, I knew the idea of lying intertwined on the mattress for a while swayed his better judgment.
"Okay, your task is to get her to come here later on," Jacob stated, authoritatively. "And you - under no circumstances - are to tell her about Seth. I think we need to get a few of our ducks in a row before we share that with her."
I frowned in realizing I hadn't gotten my way as I had predicted. Of course, he was right. They needed to phase and get a clearer view about what Seth was experiencing.
"We'll go get Seth," Embry offered. "While you go with Nessie to talk to the Cullens."
"Good idea," Jacob said. "We'll meet back here in thirty minutes."
They nodded, walking off into the edge of the trees before stripping down and phasing.
"To the main house," I said in my best superhero tone.
"That's as good a place to start as any," he grumbled, taking the hand he was still holding and pulling me toward him when I tried to move in that direction.
I sprung back against him like my body was made of elastic. There was a snapping sound when I connected with his chest. Our worlds were about to collide – two rock walls creating an impenetrable boundary. The tricky part would be to make sure nothing got damaged in the process of the walls closing in.
#
"I don't know," Alice fumed. "I can't see. I don't know why."
We had spent the first ten minutes after arriving watching Alice pace back and forth talking to herself. While she was always animated, there was something different about her emotions, and I was worried.
"Where's Jasper?" I asked.
"Hunting with Emmett," Rosalie answered quietly. "Edward and Bella are gone too."
"They'll be back within the next twenty minutes," Grandfather assured me.
"I don't need Jasper," Alice groaned. "I want him, but I don't need him. What I need is so see."
In watching her continued frustration, I knew it was why they hadn't come with Seth. They were too busy trying to figure out what was going on with Alice. As I watched her jittery form move back and forth in the living room, I decided it would be easier to make a list of family members who weren't falling apart than it would be to detail each issue of those who were.
Can't you do something? Jacob asked me, house-fire igniting.
Like what? I asked, wringing my hands together. You want me to make her forget she can see things?
No, Jacob countered, pushing against my lower back and forcing me forward. Do the Jasper thing and calm her down.
I can't do that for anyone but me, I argued.
Would it hurt to try? he persisted, begging me with his eyes.
Yes, I could definitely try. There was no harm in that. I opened Jasper's door inside myself and willed the power outward. While I realized there was only a small chance it would work, I was still disappointed when my efforts had no effect on Alice. She continued her path back and forth.
Maybe you have to touch her, Jacob urged me closer.
What difference would that make? I argued, resisting the movement forward.
Just try, baby, he continued. For me. For her.
Letting out a deep breath, I took another step toward her. With every inch traveled the tension wall around her strengthened. It was fighting against my airway; I felt as though I couldn't breathe from the weight of her emotions. Alice was absolutely distraught, and seeing her so out of control made me feel helpless. I wanted to fix her, but I had no idea how to.
"Everything is black," Alice muttered. "I can't see."
I reached out my hand slowly, flinching when she smacked it away. I couldn't tell if it was a reflex move or if she was trying to keep me from touching her. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tried again. This time I anticipated her rebuttal and grabbed her wrist. The sudden leash halted her progression, and she looked straight at me.
I opened Jasper's door again, pushing outward the calm that he had always projected into me. Along with the warmth, I pushed outward memories I had of times we had spent together – shopping, dressing up, and as an afterthought, I gave her something I knew she would appreciate. I projected a vision of her in a designer dress waiting impatiently to walk down the aisle with Jasper.
I felt the tension wall release in an explosive burst that seemed like glass shards grazing my internal organs. She blinked rapidly, but I didn't let go of her wrist. If she had wanted to pull it away, she could have. She was much stronger than me. Instead she fell forward, collapsing into my arms. I held her as I continued to filter out the negative energy.
"Why can't I see anything?" she whispered.
"I don't know," I admitted, though I really wished I did. "Is it everything or something in particular?"
She paused for a moment, and I knew she was concentrating. "No, they will be back in about five minutes. I can see them!"
Her sudden excitement offered a new emotion, and I felt my heart accelerate where hers couldn't.
"But I can't see them – the Volturi," she continued. "I don't understand."
"Do you want me to help you look?" I offered, thinking that our joined efforts might fight against whatever force was blocking her vision.
"Yes!" she exclaimed.
She backed up a bit, taking hold of my hands in hers. I wasn't sure what to expect. They last time we had shared a vision, I was on the receiving end of an Emmett bite. I wasn't looking forward to a repeat performance.
What we shared was enough to have me panicking too, and I was pretty sure that all the bones in my hands were broken from the way she had squeezed them. We were both shaking violently when they finally arrived. She was convulsing on the floor, while I was twitching so strongly in Jacob's arms, he was having a difficult time keeping hold of me.
When Jasper released the warm current into the room, I was beyond the ability to stay conscious after the immediate calm he provided.
"It's not black, anymore," Alice mumbled incoherently.
I was vaguely aware of my voice chanting over and over again. "Red. Red. Red."
#
Sitting inside Leah's quaint little house, I wasn't sure why I had agreed to go alone. I was even more surprised that they had let me go at all. I had regained consciousness a mere five minutes after my black out, and I didn't really remember anything other than seeing the color red. Initially, it was as black as an eclipse, but just as suddenly, a deep crimson hue had flooded my vision. I was drowning in blood.
My hands were fine, but they were still a little shaky. Part of me wanted to lift from the floral-print couch and run out the door. The other part was too frightened to move. Leah standing in front of me while tapping her foot – hands on hips - wasn't helping my resolve.
"Not that I'm not glad to see you," Leah began. "But you're sort of impeding traffic to and from the bedroom this morning."
As much as I wanted to believe I was stealing sensual moments from her, I knew that wasn't the case. Her eyes were red and swollen as though she had spent the majority of the night crying. Apparently Mike had been neither able to comfort nor distract her after the hurtful comments were spoken by a few out-of-line pack members. I wondered how much she had told Mike, since she was less than forthcoming in the beginning about her role in Quileute history.
I planned to use my concern over the previous night as a buffer to invite her to dinner that night, where Jacob and I could explain to her about Seth's situation. I really was concerned about what they had said to her, so it wasn't like I was actually misleading her. Hopefully we would get through the big reveal without any of us getting our heads pecked off. Her sarcasm and toned anger were more appealing to me than the dark circles of defeat then visible under her eyes.
I put the mug on a stand next to the couch and stood, instantly regretting my decision to be on level ground with her. I pushed away a dizzy sensation that wiped the color from my cheeks. Put on your brave face, Ness. One of us needs to be the strong one here.
Frustrated by the continued betrayal of my vocal chords, I clenched my fists at my sides. What I wanted to do was to reach out and show her what I was thinking, but that was the chicken way out. I needed to stand my ground and force communication in a natural way.
I heard Mike snoring in the other room, and I found myself jealous. I needed a vacation from my vacation. Thoughts about an actual honeymoon away from Forks sidetracked me.
"Spill it," Leah demanded, grounding me.
I wanted to explain to her how sorry I was for not being there. While I didn't know exactly what was said, I knew the basic idea they were trying to get across to her – she was a murderer. Only, she wasn't, and it was my fault they felt that way. There was no way I could apologize to her. She would have raked me up one side and down the other. Leah Newton was far too proud to accept that sort of attention.
She was able to read my emotions on my face though, which was far more effective. Her features softened, and her pacing stopped.
"Don't," she warned me. "Just don't. If that's why you're here, feel free to leave. I've already spent too much time talking about this in the last twenty-four hours."
Looking at the closed bedroom door, I wondered again how much Mike knew. He would have wanted to know what had upset her, and being unable to deny him, it would have instigated a lengthy and detailed conversation about everything that had happened in the last few months. She wouldn't deny him the knowledge he needed, and I was glad that she had someone else to turn to. I was even gladder that she was able to open herself in that way, with absolute faith and trust.
"Jacob wanted me to invite you to dinner tonight," I said, shifting my weight from my heels to the balls of my feet and jamming my fists into my pockets.
"Okay," she said slowly, eyeing my curiously. "Why are you really here?"
I was absolutely forbidden from telling her about Seth's imprint to Chelsea. I didn't argue the command, because I needed support for that. Jacob was gathering his pack for a meeting at our cabin, which would become their conference arena. While he was doing that, I was advised to find a way to get Leah to come to the cabin at a later time. Dinner seemed an appropriate way to do that.
I couldn't call, which would have been the easy thing to do, because she'd obviously taken the phone off the hook. A perpetual busy signal had echoed through my cell phone for the entire drive to her house. It wasn't until I had been parked in the driveway that I knew there was no turning back.
She needed to come to terms with Seth's imprint on her own, or she would find some way to blame me for coercion, but that didn't make it easy for me to keep it from her. Thankfully, the news was only one small portion of the chaos-soup being served for supper. So it wasn't exactly a lie to keep it from her – it was more of a postponement.
"To check on you," I admitted. "We need to clear the air, and it would be really nice to have you over for dinner."
"Did you tell Jacob I'm pregnant?" It was more of an accusation than a question.
"No," I replied defensively. "But I think you should tell him tonight. It will be hard for me to keep it from him now."
That was the last thing that would be discussed, and it wasn't my place to share the news. I noticed her rigged stance loosen from relief. To her knowledge that was the largest complication in our lives – the baby. She had no idea it was only one small ingredient.
"I just don't want them looking at me that way again," she whispered. "With empathy. With concern. It's easier to deal with them being mad at me than that."
"This is a good thing, right? I asked. "It makes you happy?"
"Absolutely," she replied.
"Then why would they look at you in any way but awe?" I wondered.
"Not they so much as him," she continued. "At the end of the day, however Jacob feels is how the rest of them will feel. It's the nature of things."
"That didn't stop them from ruining your night," I muttered. "He wouldn't have condoned that."
"Hey, I'm just as responsible for letting it bother me," she admitted. "I blame Mike. He thaws out my chilled exterior."
"More like I melt your candy-coating," Mike added groggily from the bedroom. "Come back to bed."
"Your wish is my command," she said, her mood instantly lightening.
"On that note," I mumbled. "Dinner at six?"
"We'll be there," Leah assured me, fluttering her lashes before entering the bedroom.
I let myself out – quickly.
On the drive back to the cabin I developed a tension headache. I had never experienced any other human-like frailty, and so when the headaches started, it was difficult to explain the feeling associated with them. The drills were back and in full force by the time I parked the van in the driveway. I couldn't hear the voices that belonged to the machinery attacking my mind, but I realized what the pain was – thoughts.
The day couldn't end fast enough. While the theatrics at the Cullen house has interrupted my nap, I wanted to skip it all together and go straight to bed. There was a silver lining though. I couldn't imagine anything else going wrong. That had to count for something.