Chapter 21: Discovery
Gaara's POVI look at the gate of the school entrance, ignoring the large amount of people that have stopped in their tracks. Some slowly go on with looks of disgust on their faces whispering vile things with appalled expressions contorting their faces. My muse doesn't seem to notice them, his eyes are only on me. Alight smile on his lips I noticed out of the corner of my eye. I was over come with a strange feeling of looking anywhere but at him. Finally I got to my feet and with a wave of my hand the blonde followed behind me. Close enough but not in my sight. I didn't want to just walk away and leave him alone, I know those boys who are still standing and staring at use would start something with him. I felt like I needed to protect him…I've never felt like I've needed to protect anyone…but maybe myself. Protect myself from the world that annoys me so, that seems to have no place for me. Protect my ideals, my thoughts, from those who try and make me just another one of them. But I'm not like them, Naruto knows this….and he's not like them either. He even takes pride in his strangeness, even though it causes him rejection. Something I know he deeply hates and fears.
I was not surprised when a sudden angry yell came from my blonde; as he was pulled away from my side by a fellow student. A quick insult such as, "Keep your fag habit out of the site of others. We'd like to keep our lunch in our stomach," was spouted, before a struggle between them took place. Naruto was very angry, most likely feed up by all the violence that has been directed towards him. Not wanting Naruto to get hurt even more then he has in the past, I step in. My interrupting their picking on Naruto—their usual victim—seemed to cause them problems. Naruto was pushed away by the boy, who was ready to defend himself completely from me. I knew I struck fear into his heart, by the simple way he looked at me. I wasn't going to hit him, I simply wanted to make sure Naruto was safe. However confused by my lack of violence, the boy lashes out. Soon on lookers joined in, and it became a three on one struggle. Naruto tried to help but was held back, by two other boys cheering the fight on. I had no fear of getting hurt I could really careless. I almost didn't feel the blows that were given to me, as if an armor surrounded my skin. In the end my lack of feeling and self-defense was what got the other boys in trouble, and got me off the hook. Not having engaged in much of the fighting instead just dealing with their attacks, the teacher who finally broke up the fight was only interested in the three boys who ganged up on me. Screams of freak, witch and fag were directed at me, as the teacher dragged them away to the principle's office. While others looked on. I turned to Naruto, who's blue eyes still held furry. I don't know how to respond to this. Was he angry with me, for stepping in? Did he take the action as me thinking he's weaker? All worry left my mind, when his hand reached out for my wrist a glare shot at all those still surrounding us, and they moved out of our way as he pulled me into a building.
I soon find myself in his dorm. We were alone, his roommate not occupying the space.
"Ah! This just pisses me off so damn much, little fucking narrow minded…!" He didn't finish his sentence rather he looks as if he's trying to count to ten in an attempt to calm himself down maybe. He lets himself drop onto his mattress next to were he had sat me down. I was looking at the floor, and I hadn't at all noticed I was bleeding, Until I felt a cloth on my forehead, pressed there by my muse. When I looked at him, there was a soft expression and I was amazed at how easily the boy's mood seemed to change. The look he held in his eyes made me turn away, still not sure how to respond or communicate right with the boy, though he can speak without even opening his mouth.
"I guess it's really my fault," He sighs. And never had an outlet of breath ever sounded so pleasant. The pressure leaves the side of my head, only to be replaced with a tender touch. I didn't wince at the very faint sting that the touch caused. Rather there was another feeling entirely, and for a moment it felt like my mind stopped. The odd feeling only increased when I saw the blood stained finger tips of my muse, be wiped clean. Red was such a nice color on the blonde…or at least in my opinion. My eyes quickly dart to examine his face, to see if he got hurt. He didn't, though his earlier black eye is still noticeable. I touch my own wound and finally speak, the silence had seemed like forever. I could not stand it any longer.
"It's something we'll have to deal with", I say in a monotone voice. Stating a fact that perhaps both of use didn't really want to hear. My fingers trailed down from the still slightly bleeding cut on my head, to my lips. I did not taste my own blood rather, I was thinking back to the feather light kiss I had shared with Naruto, that caused such uproar. When I make eye contact with Naruto again—my hand still lingering at my lip—I notice a almost hypnotized look occupied his features. The way his mouth was slightly open, and how he swallowed hard as if there was a lump in his through, almost made me smirk. But I didn't, rarely does my expression change. I've smirked before in attempts to scare away unwanted company, it works. I do not wish to scare of Naruto, so I do not smirk.
This whole situation at the moment, seemed to be…I felt like I was in slow motion. That I had to do something specific to get the speed back to normal. I noticed everything Naruto did. I saw how he slightly shifted, and how his tongue for a moment almost going unseen touches his bottom lip. In all truth the gesture seemed inviting, it made my body heat up. What is this? I felt myself sweat a dry sweat, an impossible feat yet it was happening. All that seemed to run threw my mind was the 'kiss', my muse gave me, and how it made me feel very at peace. Yet also somewhat embarrassed. Even though that's not exactly the word I would choose to explain it, it's the only one I can think of. My mind doesn't seem to want to think of good words to explain things, it doesn't' seem to want to explain anything. But I need it to, for I'm a little confused, mainly because everything is still so new. Especially this almost primal part of my mind, which seems to block out logic, the explanations. It screams at me, I've never heard it before so I don't hear any words. Still it yells, and I feel blind. All I can do is feel, and I was surprised only for a moment when I felt arms around me, and my lips molded to Naruto's. When had that happened? It didn't seem important. My deprived body who hardly ever got as much as a hug in its childhood wanted touch, and it wanted it badly. It felt comforting, I felt secure, safe. Attached and without fear of lose or betrayal.
Then sound came back to me, my ears deciding to stop focusing on the inner primal screams that only sounded like babble. I hear a soft moan, and I felt my hand pull my muse closer. My hand wanting to be around something, around another breathing body. Then I pulled away and my sight came back along with my breathing. Both Naruto and I took in air, in harsh rapid breaths. We stared at each other, for some unknown reason. Maybe it was another sort of communication that I can finally take part in. And whatever it was that I was saying caused Naruto to give me soft kiss on the side of my head, were my wound was. Again that slight stinging, and that pleasurable feeling ran threw me. It was nice. This was nice. I've always enjoyed Naruto's company, just listening to him speak was enough to keep me content. Just thinking about how different he is from me, and how his traits complement mine, it was enough. But having his company in this way was likable as well.
Presently I wait outside the auditorium. Naruto has finally gone to sign up for the talent show. I'm waiting to hear the results and afterwards Naruto wanted to have some time off campus. He said he wanted to get away from the ass wholes for a little while, then he went on talking about a date. I suppose we haven't been on a real date….I have only a vague idea of what a 'real' date consists of. I would think a date is just like spending time with one another, so why does it have to have a special name? I didn't question Naruto about it, mainly because he happily disappeared into the auditorium soon after.
"I'm in!" The sudden yell surprised me only a little. I look to find Naruto looking down at me, with a grin upon his face. "Now lets go out for some ice-cream. I know you don't have much of a sweet tooth but I'm sure green tea ice-cream isn't that sweet," he explains. I get to my feet and we take our leave.
Naruto's POVEven though our school situation sucks ass, I'm pretty happy today. I finally signed up for that talent show, and just in time too there were only two more spots left. Then of course the discovery that Gaara's a wonderful kisser! I wasn't expecting a kiss from him so soon, but I guess that little peak I gave him made him curious. Really I think everything is developing nicely, not to fast not to slow, at least in my opinion. And if it starts to slow down from here on, that's fine by me. Gaara's worth waiting for, and I'd rather have something going at a slow past then going way to fast. But like I've said before the physical isn't everything, and today I hope I'll get some information about Gaara's home life. I'm willing to give him some imfo. on my past, I really don't' mind. If it's him I'm telling, then I don't mind diving back into those uncomfortable waters of my childhood. As long as he'll shed some light for me, so that I may understand him even better then I already do.
With ice cream in hand we sit down at a little table outside in front of the ice cream shop in the plaza we had gone to once before. I got two scoops, one chocolate the other vanilla. Gaara didn't want too much sugar and it's obvious because he doesn't have a cone at all and did indeed order Green Tea ice cream. I quickly start up a casual conversation, nothing to deep for now. But I couldn't help but feel excited at the though. However when I try to 'smoothly' bring up the topic of Gaara's home life, it didn't' work out to good.
Green eyes simply look at me as I finish my badly put together question, about were he lives and how he gets along with his brother. He seemed to think something over before starting to answer the question in a low mumble.
"I live in a rather big house. I don't' get along well with my brother…Why?" He asks me as if I was one of those annoying people at our school that bothered him. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable and I hadn't though I let out a sigh, until Gaara tilted his head back in question.
"Oh…just wondering is all."
"Are you still hung up about when I cut my fingers?" There was no hint of anger in his voice, but I felt like I was aggravating him. Knowing Gaara though, he's probably trying to analyze why I'm asking questions. I wonder does he still not trust me completely? The though made my heart sink, and being the loud mouth I am I wasn't about to not ask.
"Do you not trust me or something? You make it sound like I've done something horrible by asking you this question."
"It's not that….I've just never really spoken much about this topic. I've gotten use to the fact that you ask and do strange things," he says casually, while bringing some more ice cream to his lips. Weird? How is this weird? But I guess to Gaara it would be, even if he's gotten use to me, he's still out of touch with society. But that's the way I like him! I don't' want him to be just like everyone else. I give him my signature grin.
"So who'd you play with if you don't get along with you brother?" I ask trying to keep the conversation going.
"….My uncle…" I swear the moment those words came out of his mouth, everything got dark. The atmosphere seemed heavy.
Trying to change the subject I say something about myself, "I usually played by myself." It was just to distract from the heaviness that seemed to come over use, but it worked a little too well. Gaara's eyes studied me before he asked me a question.
"What about your parents? Did they not play with you?'
"No, don't much remember anything about my parents. They died when I was real young," I say with no sadness in my voice what so ever. Though my mind seemed to sink a little with the memories filling it. It was barley noticeable, but a little wrinkle in the middle of Gaara's forehead told me, he gave me a little pity. Even if it only lasted a short while. I didn't let an awkward silence falls over us, instead quickly starting to talk about something; anything else. We soon finished our ice cream, and Gaara was leading me along, as I spoke of things he might not be finding interesting. But hell who cares, I'm talking about it anyway. I was surprised when Gaara turned to me suddenly.
"Were you adopted by someone?" He asked. I gave him a blank look but he waited for an answer.
"Eventually," I answer.
"They're nice to you aren't they?"
"Yup, I'm real fond of him, why?"
"Just…you know more about people. So you must have been taught."
"Taught? I guess, I wasn't always around people. I was usually alone, in the home. Not a lot of kids would play with me, and stuff. Never really let it get to me…to much," I say softly.
"Well, it's good that happened," he says mater of factly.
"I don't know if I would say that."
"I wouldn't want to change much if anything about my passed. It's stupid to think that. Your past molded you, and I like to have your company," he says. Really just making small talk, and communicating his feelings. Maybe even trying to find out a little bit more about me. I liked his interest, and his beat around the bush way of saying 'I love you'. I smile brightly and was about to say something, but all thought left me when I spotted Kiba. Him and Shino were only a couple of steps in front of us, and I really didn't want to walk past them. But I have no choice, do I? Unless I just drag Gaara across the parking lot that's in the middle of the plaza. I wonder if Kiba would just ignore me and pass me by. The bastard probably would, just like he'd ignored me when I was getting beat up that one time!
Gaara's POVNaruto's eyebrows came together in a sign of slight annoyance. Though I couldn't fully understand why until I followed his eyes. He was looking at a boy, I believe it was one of his friends or something. Or possibly one of the boys that had once picked on him, which would explain the anger coming off of him. I don't say anything about it, what is there to say? Best to just pass by and ignore it and hope no one will act stupid and start something.
"Kiba!" Obviously Naruto didn't have the same in mind. He strides over to the boy, who held a look of surprise on his face for a moment. I stop were I am, not really wanting to get involved. However I was close enough to be able to stop a fight if one broke out. I wouldn't want Naruto getting hurt. But this was something emotional I could see the drama coming, and I know nothing of such things. I would only get in the way or be confused to why some people wear their heart on their selves—though I suppose that is one of the qualities I admire about Naruto. Also I would most likely hear the word fag, and I really am not in the mood of dealing with ignorant people today. Wasn't today suppose to be a date? I watch the two boys, they had started a conversation. I could hear it, because Naruto was being loud, and the other boy was being defensive.
"Some friend you are man!" Came a yell from Naruto though they've already been well into shouting at one another.
"You've changed," the other yelled, and it went on like that for a long while before actually intellectual dialogue started. The explanation of emotions.
"See that's exactly why I didn't tell you, I knew you'd react badly. But to just completely ditch me the way you did, and ignore me when I was getting beat up. No matter what happened between use Kiba I would have stepped in!"
"Yeah well, it was kinda odd! I can't say I agree with what he's done to you Naruto! I though maybe it would help, you'd let go of this weird obsession!"
"Stop blaming him! I'm still me!" The brown haired boy looked around and shook his head.
"I'd rather not talk about it, not with him around," he gestures towards me. "I'd rather talk to a less brain washed Naruto. The one I use to know." With that said he walks passed Naruto who watches him with disappointment in his eyes. The boy shoves me as he passes me by glaring at me. I could care less, I had figured out during their yelling that I was the 'him' and the 'he'. Naruto let out a scream in his hands that was so high pitched for a moment I hadn't even thought it was him who was screaming. It was one of those screams you do when you shove your head into a pillow out of anger and frustration. He then comes to my side, taking my hand and pulling me along.
I know I should say something, to calm him or comfort him, but I had no clue were to start. It's easier for me to just listen, and usually when I wait long enough Naruto will burst out into a rant. Then I can listen, listening being the only comfort I can truly give, if I tried to comfort him I know something will go wrong. This fight is in the department of friends, a topic that he has taught me about, so I don't know much more then what I experienced with him. And now we are beyond friendship, we are something more. But I think he understands that I'm not the best at these sorts of situations, he will speak up when he can't hold it in anymore.
We are now on the side walk, not to far away from our school. Naruto slowed his passed, and is keeping to himself, something I don't like. I nudge him, not knowing what else to do, trying to get him to open up. Brooding within himself isn't the most therapeutic thing to do. When his blue eyes land on me, they change instantly from their kept in anger, to a deep depression. Obviously the problem isn't just his friend, there's something else but what? I keep eye contact with him, waiting for him to speak. He lets out a sigh, in preparation.
"It's just like…the stories I've heard about my parents. The whole forbidden love shit…am I reliving their lives just in a different version? Why do people think they have a right to choice other peoples lovers. People that are right for them, that are the same nationality, and social status then them. Love doesn't care about that shit, it's people who do!" I didn't push him to elaborate, I could see the sadness in his ocean eyes, and if it pained him to speak then he didn't have to. But he went on anyway, letting me see his pain, and despair.
"I'm just sick of people driving each other insane to the point of murder, and violence…." Had his parents been killed because of disapproval to their marriage? I wasn't going to ask. I knew what he was talking about. I've seen it happen, people going insane, people making me insane. All of it leading to attempts at murder, and accidental death. I decided I would share this with him.
"I know how that is. It's happened to me before, I also don't' want to repeat the past."
A/N: I haven't been updating for personal reasons, updates from here on out will be irregular.