That night, after everyone had gone to bed, Scott sat staring down at his daughter, as she slept in her new 'bed'. His heart flipped from being overwhelmed with joy to drowning in sorrow and back again.
He sighed, tears filling his eyes, as he thought of Rose. Oh how he missed her, had missed her from the day he'd had to leave her behind. But this time there would be no second chances for them, it was final. She would never again be a part of his life.
Just as a tear slipped free to land on the quilt covering his daughter, a soft knock pulled him from his tortured thoughts. Wiping away the tears, he quickly made his way to the door, not wanting whoever it was to accidently wake Ciara.
Opening the door, he gasped slightly, "John! Is something the matter?"
John, his face grim, peered into the room, before holding up four bottles of beer, "Your balcony or mine?"
Scott opened his mouth to decline, but then thinking better of it, opened his door further, indicating his own balcony with a tilt of his head.
After ensuring that his daughter was still sleeping, Scott followed his brother out onto the balcony, his voice low, "What's up little brother?"
His brother's voice drifted out from the dark shadows, its tone low and somber, "I know what you're going through, Scott, or have you forgotten?"
Scott sucked in a breath, as he dropped down into the chair beside John, regret and pain lacing his voice, "Oh, man John, I'm so sorry. You never talk about her, I guess I did forget. Are you….are you sure about this? I appreciate you wanting to help, but I don't want you opening up something that's going to be too hard for you."
A bitter chuckle echoed quietly in the darkness, as John handed him one of the bottles, "I never closed it, so opening it up definitely won't be a problem. Besides this is more about you and Rose, not me and…. Jasmine."
Scott shook his head, giving his brother a glare, useless as it was in the darkness, "John Tracy! I told you to come and talk to me if you needed to. Why didn't you?"
At first there was only silence, then his younger brother's shaky voice drifted from the gloom, "I didn't need to talk, Scott….I still don't. I'm not ready for that….yet. But you, you have a definite reason to need closure, big brother, and she's sleeping in there. Ciara needs you, Scott. Remember what it was like for us, right after Mom died? Don't do that to her. Dad didn't have someone to talk to, you do, so talk."
Scott sighed and, knowing his brother was not going to talk about his lost love, leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, letting the bottle hang loosely in his hands, his shoulders and head drooped down, " I always thought….that she and I might….one day….well you know. But there was always something, first the air force then I.R. and I never….blast it John! If I'd just called her once, just once then she might….I would have already know about Ciara. She's six, John, six years old, think of how much I've missed out on."
John leaned forward out of the shadows, his blue eyes dark with pain, his voice soft, "I know Scott, but there'll be plenty of time to make up for that. This is about you and Rose, you've got to let it go, big brother. Believe me, it only gets in the way if you don't."
Squeezing the bottle tightly in his hand, Scott muttered softly under his breath for a moment, before looking up with tear filled eyes, "I'm not sure there's words for what I'm feeling right now, John. She's gone, that's it, that's all there'll ever be."
John leaned closer his voice barely a whisper, "Wrong. I see it, Scott. The pain won't just go away, it's just going to keep eating at you. Say her name, you can't can you?"
Scott opened his mouth, but quickly shut it again, tears beginning to flow unchecked down his face, splashed on the still warm balcony.
John reached over and pulled his older brother into a tight hug. No more words were said only the sound of heart wrenching sobs could be heard.
A silent figure watched from his own balcony, tears streaming down his face, as he listened to his son's pain filled sobs.