"Fuck! Tris, In here!" I hear a familiar voice and I slowly open my eyes, squinting at the bright light in my room. I hear more voices and I huff and sit up, opening my eyes fully. I am shocked to Amar, along with Shauna and Zeke standing in the doorway with wide and panicked eyes. Immediately I'm on high alert.
"What's wrong" I ask in a tight voice. I stare at their confused faces. Suddenly Tris pushes Amar out of the way and runs over and hugs a sleepy Izzy.
"Isabelle! Thank god you're safe." Tris rocks izzy back and forth and I look down in confusion.
"Mommy? What's going on" Izzy asks sleepily. She rubs her eyes and then her eyes go wide as she sees the crowd in front of her.
"Isabelle Prior! Where did you go last night and why are you down here and not with your sister. Do you have any idea how worried I was? I woke up and you weren't there! I searched the whole house." She says angrily and I slap my head. Fuck. I totally forgot to think how Tris would react if her daughter was not in bed.
"I'm sorry mommy" Izzy sniffles and I internally cringe. I hate to see her cry. Tris relaxes her glare and huffs.
"Alright, what a wakeup call huh?" Zeke burst out from the middle of the room "Now since the mystery is solved, I'm going to go make breakfast. Who's with me?" Zeke exclaims. Shauna nods her head, grabs lizzy and leaves my room. Amar stands stiffly, his hand crossed on his chest. He sighs and leaves the room, leaving us 3 alone
"Why weren't you in your room" She asks softly, running her finger through Izzy's hair. She turns to glare at me this time
"Um..." I clear my throat "She heard me singing. I read her a book and she fell asleep. "I say hesitantly. Tris glares at me even more.
"Hun, why don't you go get ready for breakfast. I'll meet you in the kitchen " Tris says, glaring at me . Izzy stiffly nods and jumps off the bed. She is just about to walk out the room until she turns around and runs back, jumping back on the bed and hugging me. I hug her back without any hesitation this time, having gotten used to her soft, gently hugs -that actually if I'm being honest with myself- it makes me feel better. She pulls back, grinning at me.
"Thank you four... sir ..." She says giggling softly and I smile at her
"It was my pleasure cadet" I smile as she jumps off the bed and runs down the hall. I turn back to see Tris looking at me with a soft smile
"Look, Tris. I didn't mean to step over any boundaries with her" I rush to explain " she asked me to read a book and when I said no she was about cry so I said I would read her one. By the end, she was already asleep and I didn't want to wake her up" I say, getting up and standing with my back towards her. I don't want her to see the few scars from my past. Most of the scars from the abuse healed but few – the deeper ones- refused to fade from my skin. I quickly pulled on a shirt and turned towards her. She was standing now but looking down. I cleared my throat and she looks back up.
"Just…ugh... you do understand why I'm pissed right?" She huffs again frustrated, placing her hands on her hips and I nod at her
"Yeah, you freaked out. I'm sorry" I say shrugging my shoulders, staring down at her
"Fine, whatever" She finally says, shrugging her shoulders and brushing past me. She bumps my shoulder as she passes me and again I wonder how I can be so used to her touches that I don't jump at the contact. I walk into the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth. I lift my shirt up frowning at myself. I pinch my abs, frowning how soft they have gotten. I need to start running and working out again.
I walk out to the table, passing Sam and his team on the couch eating and smile as I smell bacon. Everyone is already at the table and I kiss Shauna on the cheek as I take a seat beside Tris.
"So what's the plan for today?" Tris ask, eating her bacon strip. I have to shake my head as I watch her lips close around her bacon. She licks her lips, and I have to turn to look at Amar .
"I'm leaving right after we are done eating. HQ called me and said they may have gotten something important out of the prisoner" He said around a mouth filled with bacon. I lock eyes with Amar, silently asking him what the plan was.
"I'll contact you if it's important" He says nodding his head at me and I nod back. If it's important he'll tell me. "All your stuff should be here within a few hours. Unfortunately for you four there is no tech team coming out this time so you have to hook up the security stuff yourself." He says and I groan. I hate putting security surveillance up. It takes a long time and it's a hard and complicated process
"Sir, we are ready when you are" Sam walks into the room and Amar nods at him, standing up. I leave my breakfast and stand up to
"I am 99.9% sure that you are safe. You are far from erudite and any danger as of now so I decided last night I wouldn't mind if you go out Tris, once in a while that is " He says and my mouth drops open. Tris squeals and launches herself at Amar. He laughs and hugs her.
"Amar, you can't be serious?" I practically hiss at him. He turns to me with a smile
"I am" He says and I ball my fist up. He's fucking insane. "However there are limitations and if I find out that you broke even one then I'm going to haul your ass back to HQ and place you in an isolated room to keep you safe" He narrows his eyes at Tris and she nods her head at him
"Amar!" I hiss again and this time he turns to me with a grim line on his face
"Look four, I know you want to keep them safe" He says gesturing to the twins and Tris "I want that to, more then you know. But I thought a lot about this last night. I thought of the pros and cons and in the end what Tris said came back to me and I honestly believe it would be ok" he says and I have to close my eyes to control my anger.
"I'll do anything Amar. Thank you so much" She squeals and I can't help but glare at him. He has defiantly lost his marbles. "What are the rules" She bounces with excitement
"1) the only way you leave the house is if four assess the situation and thinks its safe" He says sternly and I huff a sigh of relief. At least I have some say in when she can go out. She narrows her eyes at me and turns back with a frown
"Can Zeke or Shauna do it? If it's up to him he will never let me go" She pouts and I smirk in her direction. She glares back knowing that I'm going to do everything to keep her in the house
"Don't be ridiculous Tris. Four will make his decision based on the facts only. Right four?" He asks turning to me and I smirk at Tris as I nod. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.
"Good. Now secondly, the only way you leave if someone accompanies you. Under no circumstance are you allowed to go by yourself and if the twins go with you, get 2 people to accompany you, is that clear?" Tris nods her head and I want to punch in his face for letting her do this
"Finally, I want you to still practice self defense. There is a gym in the basement with an indoor shooting range. I want you to be able to physically and mentally handle yourself, alright?" He says and once again Tris eagerly nods her head. "If you can follow these rules then your fine to go out" He says and Tris hugs him again. I clench my teeth in anger
"When's all our stuff coming" I say ripping a piece of bacon and chew it angrily. Amar rolls his eyes but turns towards me
"Everything should be here in a few hours. Including your bike" He says and I feel some of the anger drop away. When my bike gets here I can go for a little ride and clear my head.
"Alright I am off" Amar finally states. He walks around and husg the twins tightly then hugs Tris. He gives Shauna a kiss on the cheek and gives zeke a one arm hug. I follow him to the the door. He stops in front of me
"I know your pissed but I need to be able to trust you to make fair decisions" He says and I raise an eye at him "Tris is not just another 'job' four. She is my niece and I would do anything for her." He says and I nod my head waiting for him to continue
"But she told me how it feels to her. How not being able to control her own life feels and it's really sad. So yes, I know there may be a little risk, letting her outside but I think we have all the right safety measures in place" he says " plus I know you never miss your target so I'm not worried" He says and I smirk in his direction at the complement
"So please, just try to be open about your decisions" He says, smiling broadly. He isn't looking at me anymore and I turn to look around to see Tris who is spinning a giggling Lizzy around. They are filled with excitement and I haven't seen her happy since she got here. I can't help but smile as well at how radiant she looks.
"That's worth the risk" Amar whispers, indicating to Tris and Lizzy and I find myself nodding. Tris seems like she is in pure bliss and I once again I agree with Amar. I need to see that smile on her gorgeous face again.
"Ok, I'll try" I say and he pulls me in for a hug and I hug him back. I wave him off as he gets in his car.
"Four, Sir!" Izzy comes running into the room. She stands in front of me and salutes. I laugh, getting down to her level and saluting her back.
"Guess what four?!" She says excitedly
"What?" I whisper back, kneeling in front of her so I am eye level with her.
"Mommy said that I can go to school in a week!" She says loudly. She laughs and starts twirling around and I have to hide the frown that's starting to appear. I hate the fact that Amar said they can go to school, regardless if he thinks they are safe.
"Isn't that great?" She asks finally standing in front of me once again. Scared I may say something mean I just smile at her and nod my head, getting up and walking into the kitchen where Tris is washing the dishes. I come up beside her and grab the dish out of her hand. I smile at her and start watching the plate while she moves asides and grabs the remaining dishes. She then grabs a rag and starts drying them off and we continue to work together silently
"So um, are you serious about enrolling the twins into school" I ask softly not looking up at her. She doesn't answer me and I think she didn't hear be until she sighs. She finishes drying the last dish and turns to me. She puts a hand on my shoulder and smiles at me. I stare intently into her eyes trying to decipher what she is thinking.
"I know you're scared" She starts off and I shrug her hand off
"I'm not scared" I interject, feeling my pride take a hit. I know it's stupid but it still feels like she hit it in the gut. I'm not allowed to be scared even if I was. Being scared was something that brought pain and torture. I learned that from Marcus.
"Ok maybe scared is the wrong word" She rolls her eyes "I know you think it's too dangerous" She looks at me, cooking an eye and I nod at her new choice of word " but I think Amar is right. We are far away from anyone to be able to find us and I trust you to keep us safe" She says softly, leaning into me. She presses into me and I wrap my arms around her waist, bringing her closer against my body. I can feel myself harden but I don't push her away, not caring if she felt me.
"Ok, you win. We can enroll them tomorrow" I whisper as I lay my forehead against hers. She smiles widely at me and I lean in, wanting to kiss her badly. My whole body is on fire because of her proximity and I'm about to lean in and kiss her but then I stop, remember how she ran way like she regretted it last time.
"Tris, can I kiss you?" I ask softly. I feel her nod against me and I smile broadly as I lean in, holding her face in my hands and press my lips against hers softly. Fuck they are softer then I remember. I smile at her as I move away and then kiss her again and again. After the 4th time she giggles, pushing on my chest and moving away from my embrace.
"Don't you have to unpack" She smiles at me and I walk up to her, unable to resist touching her, I place my hand on her shoulder and lean down to kiss her again. This time she wraps her hands around my neck, leaning up and I smile into the kiss
"You have no idea how much I wanted to do that again" I whisper as I place my forehead against hers
"Why didn't you then" She whispers back huskily and instinctively I pull her tighter against my body.
"Last time I kissed you, you pushed me off and then refused to talk about it. I kind of felt like you regretted it" I said. She frowns and unhooks her arms from around me, walking a little away and turning back to face me.
"I didn't regret it. I was just kind of shocked to be honest. Shauna told me that you don't like any physical contact and when you kissed me I don't know , I kind of just freaked out" She says and I have an urge to go and knock Shauna out. She has no right to talk about my past to anyone else
"Shauna needs to learn to keep her mouth shut" I snap and Tris frowns some more. I huff and walk towards her again, standing to stop in front of her "She is right, I don't like physical contact. In fact I don't do any type of contact. I'm an ass to people" I say and she smiles along with me and I roll my eyes at her "but, with you it's different. I don't know, I don't like to see you get hurt" I say sighing and deciding to tell her the truth about my confusing feeling for her
"It's been a long time since I've felt protected "She whispers and I grab her arms, pulling her closer
"I will always protect you" I say as sincerely as possible.
"I know you will four" she says and for the first time in a long time I have the urge to tell her my real name. To feel like she knows be better, but I swollen the urge down. It's stupid. With my name, I will have to tell her the reason I don't use it, which then will ultimately lead to a discussion of Marcus and I can't talk to her about it... yet ... She smiles but looks down. I use a finger and lift her chin up to look at me and am surprised to see her eyes glistening with unshed tears
"What's wrong ba- Tris" I stop myself from slipping up and calling her baby. She shakes her head and I stare hard at her, willing her to tell me
"You can tell me" I say softly and she closes her eyes and a single tear drops down her face. I cup her face in my hands and wipe her tear away with my thumb.
"I'm scared four" She whispers and my heart clenches in pain at how scared and hurt she sounds.
"About what?" I ask although I know it's a stupid question
"erudite, Eric, the twins, Amar and Shauna and Zeke putting their lives at risk because of me" She whispers and then looks up at me" You"
"You're scared of me?" I say slightly shocked. I feel a pang of hurt go through me and I step back a bit , dropping my hands and putting some distance between us, the hurt probably evident on my face. Scaring Tris was the last thing I wanted to do. In fact I worked hard to keep my demons away from her but it seems like I scared her anyways.
"I'm not scared o you" She shakes her head and I let a gust of air out, feeling a bit better. "I'm scared of how you're making me feel, I'm scared of this crappy situation that were stuck in." she says I stand there unable to say anything. "I feel safe with you, like I'll be alright if I stay near you. Even when you're driving me crazy with your bossy attitude, I feel like I can trust you the most. Being around you, I can let my guard down and just relaxed and stop thinking about the 'what ifs'". She says looking up. This time she steps closer to me and I step forward as well
"But then I think about the future and it reminds me how blurry it is. There's so much shit in my life that I shouldn't even be thinking about how you make me feel. What with Erudite and Eric and god know who else is after my family, there's no room for compromise and then I start thinking about all the 'what ifs' and start getting scared again" she finishes in a rush, tears now steadily falling down her face. I feel like my heart is about to explode with all the emotions I'm feeling. These emotions are so strange and foreign feelings that I have no idea what to do. Tris looks back up to me "I'm just scared four. I don't know what to do" She whispers in a broken voice and I wrap my arms around her tightly, pulling her into my body for comfort.
"I promise you Tris, that I will do anything and everything I can to get Erudite and Eric behind bars." I whisper, placing my chin on top of her head. I rub her back in soothing circles and I feel her wrap her arms around my waist. "Don't be scared Tris, nothing will happen to you or the twins. I'm going to make sure of it" I say as she pulls away slightly to look up at me "I won't let anything happen to you" I say as confidently I can.
She smiles and opens her mouth but before she can respond, we hear a little voice. I turn towards the entrance and Shauna and Izzy stands in the doorway, holding hands. Tris immediately jumps out of my arms and wipes of tears away
"Mommy why are you crying" Izzy whispers walking towards Tris. Shauna gives me a worried look but I smile at her reassuringly. I don't need to broadcast her fears. I'm just honored that she would open up a bit to me. This is the first time since I have met her to break down and cry and I'm just shocked she lasted this long. Tris is one of the strongest people I know but everyone has a breaking point and if I was her I would I have reached it much sooner.
"Oh baby. I was just talking to four" Tris says picking Izzy up. Izzy frowns and uses her shirt to wipe away the remaining tears
"It's ok mommy. Don't be sad. I'm here. I will keep you safe. I promise I won't ever leave you like daddy left" Izzy whispers and hugs Tris tight. I can feel myself getting red and chocked up and I turn away from the scene. I look at Shauna and she has tears in her eyes and I walk over to her, standing in front of her and wipe away her tears. She smiles at me and giving Tris and izzy once final glance, she walks away. Tris looks up at me and I clench my teeth in determination. Glancing back one more time, I walk out of the room to start my plan.
Fuck erudite
Fuck Eric and
Fuck my past
Nothing will stop be from keeping Tris and her family safe because I may be falling for them, and falling hard.