Hey everyone! Wow, okay, so I ended up taking a much longer break than I'd originally intended, and I apologize for that. I've had a really fucking terrible month and I didn't get to sit down and write as much as I would've liked to, but i'm here now and I think you guys are going to enjoy these next two chapters (well, hopefully) ;) I may or may not have tried to write a few fluffy scenes, so look out for that.
Also, I've started brainstorming some new fics/one shots based on your suggestions, so I may have something new by the middle of next month? Don't quote me on that though. And of course, i'm still open to more suggestions.
I'm thinking that there's only 2-4 more chapters left in this story, and I kind of can't believe it! Anyway, i'm going to stop rambling now. Reviews make me smile! xo
"I can't believe you actually tried to make me jealous. You've reached a new low, Debra." I quip, entwining my fingers with hers.
"Mmm, but it worked though." She flirts, tossing a smooth, slender leg over my own.
"You bet your ass it did," I say, bringing her hand up to my mouth to press a swift kiss to her knuckles. "So don't ever fucking do it again."
Deb's mouth curls into a lopsided smirk and I pull her body tighter against me. I relish in the feeling of her bare chest pressed against mine, closing my eyes momentarily to lose myself in the rhythm of her steady beating heart. She's here with me, and so full of life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Without Deb, I would be nothing but a black hole, destroying anyone and anything that dared to cross my path. Deb is my other half. She's what keeps me breathing. She always has been.
The pattern of my breathing starts to mimic hers, and I smile at the thought of us operating together, as one. This was how we were always meant to be, from the moment Harry scooped me up in his arms and made me a part of his family. I think back on all of the choices I've made in my life, the good and the bad, silently cursing myself for not paying enough attention to the gift that was always right in front of me, just begging to be unwrapped.
How many moments like this could Deb and I have shared? How many moments like this have we missed out on because I was too self-involved, too wrapped up in my own ignorant search for acceptance that I didn't realize I'd had it all along?
"Deb…" I start.
"What? Are you finally ready for round three?" She beckons enticingly, tracing a finger across my bicep.
"No. I mean, yes, but," I stammer, losing myself in her deep hazel eyes. "God, you're so beautiful."
I expect her to reply with her usual sarcastic, fuck-filled retort, but much to my surprise, she blushes. I cup her face in my hands and kiss her tenderly. It's short, but it's also sweet, and full of adoration.
"Deb, please don't leave me." I beg almost pathetically, but I mean every word. "I can't live without you…you're all I need. I wish I'd realized that sooner."
"Wow…okay, Fabio." She snorts.
Well, I did expect sarcasm.
"You should know the answer to that by now, Dex," she says, running her fingers lightly through my hair. "Never. Not even when I'm dead and gone."
Her declaration means everything to me, but I resent the last couple of words. Dead. Gone. Those are two things that should never be associated with Debra. Thoughts of her becoming nothing more than another one of my victims flood to the surface. Images of her cold, lifeless body cradled in my arms flash before my eyes, but I push them away just as quickly as they came. A world without Debra Morgan? No, that's ridiculous. I know that it's a childish thought, but my sister is supposed to live forever. She can't leave me alone in this world. I won't let that happen.
Deb inches closer to me, temporarily ridding my mind of its melancholy thoughts. She tugs at my hair and brings my face closer to hers, pressing her lips against mine. I deepen the kiss and she parts her lips to grant my tongue entrance, fighting me for control just as I've come to expect from her. She untangles a hand from my hair, trailing it down my body until she feels me hard and ready underneath the blanket.
She breaks the kiss just as I'm starting to rough things up, provocatively brushing her lips against my earlobe instead of returning to my aching mouth.
"I'll be quiet this time…" She teases, biting down sharply on my ear.
She rubs me a few times with a closed fist, and I feel myself growing even harder.
"On second thought…I can't make any promises, but I'll give it my best effort." Deb says, her proposition followed by a throaty moan.
I pull away from her and she pouts, her lips red and slightly swollen from our contact. Her eyes are full of need, and right now I want nothing more than to love each and every part of her, but I fight the urge to give in.
"Deb," I sigh. "There's something I have to tell you…something I should have said earlier."
"What is it now, Dexter? I'm a big girl, I can handle it." She purrs, shifting to sit up completely and letting the blanket pool around her hips.
I avert my gaze, trying to banish thoughts of her exposed breasts and how they seem to have been molded to fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. Controlling myself is easier said than done, however, and I fix my eyes back on hers.
"I thought we were past lying to each other." She says with an added hint of dread in her voice.
"I know you did, and I'm sorry. I just…I just wanted to protect you. I didn't know how much more you could take. You tried to hurt yourself twice already, Deb. You know I can't bear to lose you." I reply, taking her hand in mine.
"I know, but you've got to stop treating me like a fragile little kid." She declares.
"I can't make any promises, but I'll give it my best effort." I grin, trying to lighten the mood a little.
"Very funny, asshole," She replies, punching me on the shoulder. "Well? Are you planning to leave me here in suspense, or are you going to spill this big earth-shattering secret?"
I take a deep breath and press my palm flat against her chest, finding solace in the familiar pitter-patter of her heartbeat. What I'm about to say might bring Deb right back to where she was earlier today; that pit of hatred that I was worried she'd never crawl her way out of. I take the time to drink her in, fearing that she'll never allow me this close to her again. I know that she said she'd never leave me, and I want to believe her, but how could I blame her for changing her mind? I don't deserve her, and maybe this time she'll realize that.
"I, uh…what I told you about Quinn…I wasn't exactly being honest." I start.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Deb asks, glaring at me. No, glaring into me.
"I didn't leave his body at the apartment for the police to find…" I continue. "I know I told you that he deserves a proper burial, and he does, but I couldn't just leave him there. I had to think logically and make the best decision for us. Leaving a dead body in my apartment and giving the police concrete evidence against me wasn't the best decision. I'm sorry, Deb. I really am."
"I-I understand." She finally answers after an unbearably long pause. "I wish you respected me enough to tell me the truth in the first place, but I understand."
"The tranquilizer had only just worn off, and you'd just tried to kill yourself. I was half out of my mind because of that, and I didn't want to upset you any more than I already did." I say, pointlessly trying to rationalize my stupid lie. "And don't you ever believe that I don't respect you. Not for one second, okay?"
"Okay," she sighs. "I'm so fucking tired of fighting with you, Dexter. Why does this have to be so complicated? Whatever happened to love conquering all?"
"It already has, Deb." I say.
I place a soft kiss to her forehead, grateful for the opportunity to change the subject. I wasn't exactly looking forward to telling her all the gory details involved in what I really did with Quinn's corpse.
"You've changed me, Deb. You've saved me. Everything was stacked against you, but you conquered the beast. You did what no one else could."
"Yeah, I am pretty awesome, aren't I?" She jokes, nuzzling her head against my chest.
"The awesomest." I laugh.
I wrap her in my arms, truly content for the first time in a long time. There's just one thing missing from this picture-perfect scene, however. I lay with her a little while longer, pleased that the sound of my breathing is aligning with hers once again. I don't ever want to leave her side, but after a few moments more, I force myself to get out of bed and throw my boxers back on.
She whimpers as I walk over to the nightstand and retrieve my wallet. I pull out the ring and toss the wallet to the floor, unconcerned with the rest of its contents. The most important item, the only one that matters, is about to be back on Deb's finger. Back where it belongs.
Deb gets out of bed and pulls her previously discarded t-shirt over her head. I take a deep breath and kneel before her, searching my mind for the words to describe how much she means to me. But how do you tell someone that they're your entire universe?
My relationship with Debra is more than I'd ever thought possible for someone like me, but there's still so much left unsaid between us. I need her to know that I will do anything for her, (including laying down my life if it ever came to that) so she can have the freedom that she truly deserves. I need her to know how much I regret trivializing her feelings for me and choosing Hannah over her. I need her to know that I never meant to destroy her, only to feebly attempt to build her back up again. I need her to know how sorry I am about LaGuerta, and Quinn, and Harrison. Most of all, I need her to know that she set me free. Debra Morgan is my humanity.
"Deb," I gulp. A hot tear trails down my cheek, and others gradually follow suit as I scour my brain for what I can possibly say next. "I…"
"I know," She whispers, getting down on her knees to be at eye-level with me. "And I'm ready now. It's you and me, Dex. For always."
"Always." I say, reaching out my trembling hand to clutch hers.
Crying almost violently now, I slide the ring on Deb's finger. She holds my face in her hands, tenderly rubbing the tears from my cheeks. They show no signs of stopping any time soon, but she persists with a sweet smile on her face. The longer I stare into her eyes – so accepting and so full of light – the more I lose myself to the very emotions I once thought myself incapable of feeling. The walls I'd worked so hard to build are caving in; and here stands Deb, my angel in disguise, saving my soul one kiss at a time.
"I love you, Deb. I love you more than you'll ever fucking know." I manage to release in-between sobs.
She giggles as tears start streaming from her own eyes, and it's a gleeful sound. One that I want to hear her make for the rest of our lives. No longer will I be the source of her pain. Instead, I can be what makes her smile, what makes her laugh, what gives her pleasure.
She kisses me with urgency and I'm happy to oblige, attacking her mouth and barely leaving her with any room to breathe. I break the kiss and move down to her neck, and she lets me know how appreciative she is with a series of low sighs.
I sweep Deb up into my arms and place her down on the bed, climbing on top of her and returning to her neck to finish what I started.
"Make love to me, Dexter." She moans, running a hand lovingly through my hair.
I entangle her other hand with mine and lift it above her head. I lean in closer so that we're nose to nose, and I feel her lips against my own, spreading into a warm smile. I maneuver out of my boxers and in one fluid motion Deb wraps her legs around my hips and I slide into her.
It's not the first time we've done this, but it might as well be. I feel a flutter in my chest as it sinks in that this time won't be the last.
We move in perfect harmony, riding the waves the way we should have all along. Together.
"Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!" Harrison and Cody cheer in unison, pounding their fists on the table to create what I think is supposed to be a beat.
"It's only been a day and Cody is already tainting Harrison." Astor jokes, rolling her eyes at my two unruly boys.
It still shocks me sometimes, how adult she is. It's my fault that she's had to grow up so fast. I wish that I could make it up to her somehow, but sadly no amount of wishing is going to bring her mother back.
"Alright, settle down boys. Pancakes are up!" Maura says cheerfully, placing a plate in front of each person.
I drown my pancakes in syrup and then fix my eyes on Bill. I hope to find him looking at Astor or Cody, or even down at his plate, but his cold blue eyes are still cutting into me just as they have been all morning. Flashes of Deb and I jumping each other's bones last night replay in my mind. The old Dexter, the man that was, never would have acted so reckless by giving in to his primal urges quite so easily. Not when Maura and Bill were right across the hall. Shit. When did I start thinking with an organ that isn't my brain?
"So Bill, how is your retirement going?" I ask, attempting to rid some tension from the air.
"Fine," He states dryly. "How did you two sleep? I could have sworn I heard some screaming coming from the guestroom last night. Everything alright in there?"
Deb starts to choke on the orange juice she'd just been in the middle of drinking, and I leap out of my seat, ready to perform the Heimlich if necessary.
"I'm fine, Dex." She lies, swatting me out of her face. "I guess I just swallowed the wrong way or something. No need to call 911, bro."
I make my way back to my seat as the rest of the table erupts with laughter. Everyone except for Bill, that is.
"Why don't you kids take Harrison to the park? That should be fun." Maura suggests after everyone has finished eating. "Maybe we could even head to the arcade afterwards."
"I want to play on the swings!" Harrison shouts enthusiastically.
"We'll take you, Harrison. But only if Cody promises to keep his ass out of the kiddie section this time." Astor says.
"Astor! Watch your language!" Maura scolds.
"Sorry, that's probably my fault…" Deb chimes in, a mischievous smile spread across her face.
"Sorry grandma. I'm just saying…we don't want a repeat of what happened last summer," Astor laughs. "Come on, Harrison. The park has a great swing set. If we're lucky, we'll be the only ones there!"
Astor grabs Harrison by the hand and leads him out the front door with Cody following close behind. Now that just leaves Deb and I, alone, with Maura and Bill.
"You two better thank your lucky stars that the kids didn't hear you carrying on last night." Bill says, shattering any glimmer of hope I had that he'd just let this go. "You're being awfully quiet now, though. What? Nothing to say for yourselves?"
"Bill!" Maura shouts. "Stop it! The kids didn't hear anything, so why don't we just drop it?"
"The kids were only a few doors down. They probably did hear them for all I know!" Bill scoffs at his wife.
He turns his attention back to us, and Deb self-consciously hides her left hand under the table. I have no doubt that giving Bill a chance to notice the ring in this context will only make matters worse, and I'm glad that Deb has realized the same. The last thing either one of us wants is another heated confrontation.
"Your definition of a normal sibling relationship is none of my business. What you two engage in while in the privacy of your own home is also none of my business. But what goes on under my roof is my business. I absolutely will not tolerate you exposing the kids to your…your lifestyle choices." He spits, his voice laced with vitriol.
I lower my head in silence, unable to offer up a rebuttal. After all, he isn't wrong.
"Bill, Maura, I'm so sorry. We never meant to disrespect you…fuck!" Deb cries, her face reddening with embarrassment. "We'll be out of here soon, I promise."
"We're not kicking you out, Debra." Maura says, walking over to Deb and placing a reassuring palm on her shoulder. "You all can stay as long as you'd like. Little Harrison seems to be especially loving it here."
"Thanks, Maura." I reply, offering her my best attempt at a genuine smile. "But I think Deb and I ought to excuse ourselves for the moment."
I grab Deb's hand and lead her out of the dining room, trying to ignore Bill snickering in our peripheral. We reach the guestroom and I usher Deb inside and shut the door behind us.
"Well…I guess that wasn't so bad." I announce.
"Are you out of your mind?" Deb screeches.
"What? I'm just saying…it could've been worse."
"Worse than Maura and Bill knowing what noises I make during orgasm? Sorry, but not fucking likely, Dexter." Deb fires back. "Jesus Christ, how are you not mortified right now? What were we thinking?"
"We weren't," I answer. "But we have to forget about that for now. What you said to Maura in there…you weren't too far off base. We have to get out of here, Deb. Sooner rather than later. I have no idea if Batista has turned in his evidence against me yet, but I'm sure as hell not going to wait around and find out."
"Call Matthews. I'm sure he knows what's going on." Deb suggests.
"Would if I could. But what would it look like if he were to come into contact with me just as a criminal investigation against me was being launched by his own department? I don't want to put him in a compromising position." I explain.
"Use a payphone," She advises. "Even if it gets traced back to Orlando, there's no way to prove that it was you Matthews was talking to."
"Fine," I reply. "Now give me your phone."
"What for?" Deb asks, reaching into her pocket and handing me the phone even though I didn't answer her question.
I hurl the phone against the wall and it shatters to pieces. I then pull my own phone out of my pocket and give it the same treatment.
"What the hell!?" She snaps. "That phone wasn't cheap, Dexter."
"I'll buy you a new one," I assure her. "Miami Metro PD could be putting a trace on our phones as we speak. We should have gotten rid of them before we even made the drive up."
"You're probably right," she sighs. "So, what's next?"
"What's next," I begin, resting my hands on her shoulders. "Is us, and the rest of our lives."
Deb smiles and wraps me into a warm embrace. We stay connected for a while, neither of us quite ready to ruin the moment. Eventually she pulls away first, still keeping her face just inches away from mine.
"I know this isn't exactly the greatest time to ask…but what are we doing?" She inquires hesitantly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean…where are we going? We haven't planned jackshit, yet you're standing here talking about the rest of our lives. Hotel hopping isn't life, and I want a life with you, Dexter." Deb states. "I really, really do."
"It doesn't matter where we end up. As long as we're together, we can handle whatever comes our way." I declare. "Don't you think so?"
"Of course I do. Still, an actual destination would be nice." Deb teases.
"I hear Argentina's nice." I flippantly reply.
But maybe I'm only half joking…Sure, Argentina isn't without its baggage. It was Hannah's place, but it doesn't have to be. Not anymore. Deb never has to know what previous significance Argentina may have held for me, because all of that is irrelevant now. What matters now is us, and the start our new life.
Argentina doesn't extradite to the US. Deb and I would be safe there. Free. Argentina is a beautiful country that's full of culture. It's also a country that's full of people who have no idea who Deb and I are, or what we've done. Argentina is the new life that Deb deserves.
And maybe it's the life I deserve, too. Monsters don't get to live happily ever after, that much is true. But maybe deeply disturbed Dexter isn't so monstrous after all. Deb has given me a taste of something better, and I have to say, I want more. Maybe I am entitled to my own happy ending, too.
"Argentina, huh?" Deb says, a smirk washing over her face. "Now that's a destination."