The Denouement of Kana
Year of the Phoenix-Year of the Dragon
Actually, the boy didn't tell me; some other rude femme barged into my igloo and told me that 'one of my own' was here and Hakoda had invited him to stay at his house.
"Even so, I do feel that you deserve to hear the news." She said snottily and flounced away.
After she'd 'excused' herself, I leaned against the ice table, contemplating. I did not believe it; the Northern Water Tribe had not even attempted to contact is sister tribe for zodiacs; why try at that time and with only a sole man arriving?
The moment I entered the ice house, we both locked eyes; sizing each other up. His hair was a very dark brown instead of black, that was for sure, but nothing else pointed to a Water Tribe or Earth Kingdom heritage. His eyes were a dark gold, his skin was ashen, and his posture was rigid; no one in the Earth Kingdom or Water Tribes bothered to keep themselves from slouching, only the Fire Nation—and it did make them the butt of ridiculous gibes—focused that much attention on one's posture and impression.
Without another word, I sat down across from him.
As Hakoda was blindly rambling on with some speech, Kita silently spooned out three bowls of stew—she'd refused to offer me any food after I brought up my starving ultimatum and, in her perspective, mocked her—and served them; beginning to eat immediately. Rai took occasional spoonfuls politely, but his barely-disguised grimaces were a clear indication that he did not like sea prunes; which was a staple food of the Water Tribes.
"You are from the Northern Water Tribe?" I asked slowly.
"Yes." He replied almost instantly; usually, if a person lies, they either hesitate or answer immediately.
"How are the affairs there?"
"So-and-so; both tribes have isolated themselves."
"What about the Chief Meinan? Is he well?"
"Old, but fine and healthy." Liar.
"And how have things been going in the Fire Nation?" I asked in Huowen.
Immediately, his eyes were filled with relief and he began to rapidly speak to me. It took him at least a full minute before he realized that we were speaking in the Fire Nation language and I was supposedly from the Water Tribes.
When he stopped, the tips of his ears turning red, I laughed aloud; startling Sokka, who had probably never heard me laugh before.
"No, no; do not worry. Come with me." I told him in Huowen; standing up as I did so. He followed; curious.
After the trek to his supply boat and back to my igloo, we sat down on a mat and I opened a can of vegetables; dumping the contents into the pot of hot water I constantly kept boiling. "Rai" gave me some of his jerky and protein sticks to add to the pot and soon a stew was bubbling richly in the pot and a wonderful smell filled the air.
"You're the missing princess, aren't you?" He asked when he saw me playing with the fire.
"Quite the debacle, isn't it?" I answered with a smile.
From then on, being that I was the only person who truly was like him, Rai—I should probably call him Zhao—would usually follow me and we would spend hours talking.
He showed me new books that more recent Fire Nation scholars published, the ones he brought with him were usually battered and clumsily preserved but still legible, and I read through them zealously. We would walk through the streets talking in the 'slurring language' as most other Water Tribe citizens called it, about whatever came to our minds and I'd begun to aid him in honing his skills in Firebending.
Even as I trained with him, it was obvious that his demise was imminent, and he would be done in by the power he once craved; he believed that Fire was all-powerful, that all he needed was power and he could use fire to get him what he wanted. He was too stubborn, too impulsive; all he cared about was how he could be more powerful by mastering degrees of fire.
Years from now, I thought, he will just be the way he is; trying to master another degree of Firebending, dreaming of his future, but never actually going forward.
If Kita hated me before, she took despise to a new level after 'Rai' had arrived. Apparently, he was her new Sikano, and I'd seen the pathetic way she'd lusted after him during our short encounter at the dinner.
At gatherings, she begrudgingly invited me and, as they were eating, Kita somehow found ways to sit closer to him, to touch him—"his hood is too loose" "There's a stain on his parka" All kinds of excuses—things such as that.
They pried and poked him about his life—he was betrothed but not married, he was working to be a master bender, and his family was influential enough—and once, when I shot him a bemused look, he burst out in a small fit of laughter that led to Kita badgering us on what we were laughing about.
Usually, we would just go back to my igloo on the outskirts of town and talk; my Huowen was a bit outdated, and Zhao did need to learn how to effectively catch fish and hunt in order to blend in with the Water Tribes.
In return for my aid, he would answer my endless supply of questions.
"What?" I exclaimed incredulously. He only nodded to confirm his tale. He had told me many outrageous things of the Fire Nation, especially about my husband and his family, and I usually accepted those tales, but this one was the one I could not believe.
"It's true; Ozai has actually taken a wife and she has born him a male heir." Zhao repeated. I shook my head in disbelief; the poor girl, what else has Ozai done to her?
"The poor young girl." I said while staring out a clear block of ice.
"She's far from that." Zhao said and I turned and raised my eyebrows in curiosity; showing him my intrigue. "She's thirty-two and carrying the next child of Ozai's linage."
Thirty-two? Not a child bride under twenty years who would be bought and controlled with the issues of money, power, the inheritance, wealth, nor from a family whose male relatives were pushing her to, anything like that? This certainly wasn't the Ozai I had seen when I spent time at the palace and it continued to fuel my suspicions.
"How…unlike him." I said; 'what did he do?' I thought.
"She is gaining sympathy, but that's also a bit hard to believe since everyone in the Fire Nation hates her." Zhao says.
"Why would they hate her? She was trapped into being his wife." I wondered.
"Hmm." He simply replied to that.
"Tell me; I can handle it." I persisted.
"There is nothing to tell, milady." His eyes showed nothing, but he was lying nonetheless.
I paid no attention to the flocking citizens as they bade him farewell; he himself seemed to have wanted to jump onto his little canoe and paddle away as fast as he could.
As the crowd parted, though, he came towards me.
"Iroh misses you greatly; should I tell him to come for you?" he whispered. I shook my head; even if he did, I wondered at the time, would it be any good? Three feet before he reached his boat, I ran after him.
"Wait, wait!" I called out in the common language.
"Take this to him." I whispered; passing him my pin. It was shaped like the sun and adorned with diamonds on the front; it was also one of the only pieces of jewelry I had brought with me. He nodded, and sailed away.
He might have pawned it off, for all I cared at that time, but when he came back, about two months later, he arrived with bundles of my favorite Fire Nation foods; even the sweets I had grown fond of. Also, he pulled out a meticulously wrapped package for me.
When I opened the mahogany box and unfolded the silks, I found the verse book with another quill and crimson ink. Hastily, I opened it and read what Iroh had added to it before scribbling my own. My time isolated from the world I missed so greatly affected me very much; for the first verses I'd written, it was laced completely with melancholy and desperation to leave before I could begin writing with more logic than pathos.
During that time, as well, Kita seemed to be making progress with 'Rai'; they could speak on some subjects without one of them having to pause for a long time due to the fact that he or she did not know what the other was talking about. Due to his absence, I could meet with Yao more easily as well; who knew that Kita could be an impetus for a mutually beneficial situation?
"He is nice enough." Yao replied to that.
"But he's so impatient; he's too hot-headed and all he wants is glory." I replied to that.
"Well, then that proves that he's a man."
"Yes, yes; all men want glory—."
"—and no kind of recognition is a recognition of notoriety." He was quoting exactly from Tao's book, 'The Art of War', I was sure of it.
"But, I must say, Kita's obvious…uh…attention is causing quite a scandal in the small town." He was only pretending to be self-conscious.
"And we aren't? Stop staring at me like that, you saw how your own fourth wife came charging down at me…I think someone, besides you, knows. Someone…" I felt the chill penetrate my bones.
"Even if they remembered you, they would have remembered you as…well, the enchantress." He said playfully; he always did find a way to make me laugh.
I scratched at it again; it always seemed that something under my skin was irritating me so. For the past few years, the area around my face was always itching and becoming a bit numb on the outside; I hardly even felt the cold temperatures when I was hit in the face with a snowball!
"Maybe you have the sagging malady." Zhao remarked.
"Pardon?" I asked.
The malady was apparently caused by water between layers of skin; if one altered between a warm and cold climate often, then the water would be melting and refreezing to the point that the outer layer of the skin was completely separated and began to droop.
"You just need to cut the dead layers off." He insisted. When I made a niche into a part around my chin, I only felt pain when I had stabbed a bit too deeply. Working meticulously, Zhao helped 'carve' off the thin, dead layer and I peeled it off.
All of a sudden, it was as if I could breathe again; I looked into the hollow eyeholes of the dead skin; feeling as if blank eyes were staring back at me. For the first time, I did not have to pretend like I was in a masquerade, that I could just be myself once more.
"Well, you don't look as wrinkly." Zhao remarked; taking out a piece of polished bronze from his knapsack and handing it to me.
Disclaimer: the 'sagging malady' is not a real disease, as far as I know of.
It seemed that Zhao and Kita were becoming closer, or at least progressing in their strange relationship; I do not know for sure and I doubt I would have been a good judge. The strained look in his eyes disappeared and a new gleam appeared in his pupils.
When 'we' would go over to Kita and Hakoda's house for a meal or gathering, Zhao was aloof and courteous while Kita obviously showed the signs of 'attraction' to him. I'd seen the interaction millions of times played between two people, and the sudden behavior change confirmed it.
"You're fucking her." I said bluntly after we'd gone back to our igloo.
"She knows!" Zhao managed to spit out.
"Know what?"
"That we're Fire Nation!"
"Did she threaten to tell?"
"No, but she knows!" I rolled my eyes; out of all of the times I had said he was an idiot, this time took the cake.
"She wouldn't tell, idiot! If she did, then we would both be forced out or killed—one way or another, she would lose you; her victory prize!" I snapped.
His fish face was complete when his mouth dropped open.
Surprise, surprise! Barely a week later, Zhao came up to me at the marketplace and began blustering like mad. The first thing I did when he told me the news, once we were out of the sight and hearing ranges of the citizens, was cuff him on the side of the head.
"Do not worry; I am to go back soon. I just won't come back here." Zhao said. I gave him a very hard clout to the ear at that comment.
"Then you are just avoiding responsibility." I said.
"She is already married; the child can be passed off as Hakoda's. She even told me that she had lain with him a few days before I did." He protested. I wondered how battered he would be by the time I pounded some reason into his head.
"In case you haven't seen any of my children, the dominant physical trait for all of them is that they all have some trait belonging to the Fire Nation! It would be a complete miracle if the child, if it honestly is your child, is born without any trace of Fire Nation resemblance in his or her appearance." I told him.
"Still, it could be Hakoda's." Zhao pointed out. I didn't hit him, although I wanted to very badly.
"True, but you are still going to have to be there for Kita as if she was carrying a legitimate child of your line." I instructed him. He seemed flabbergasted that I would suggest such a thing; at a total loss for words.
"Do it or I will not teach you any more advanced Firebending techniques." I stated. He obviously wanted to retort with something coarse, but refrained from doing so; his training was more important to him than a question of the paternity of Kita's future child.
"Go; I'm sure she is feeling a bit queasy. Make her some weak tea and get her a bit of food; nothing raw, that only makes it worse, give her some of your crackers. I will meet you in Kita's tent." I told him coolly and left him.
When I entered the tent, I did not miss the triumphant look Kita shot at me.
"Rai told me a very interesting thing concerning the stage of your womb." I said calmly. That smug look on her face died down upon realizing that 'Rai' told me practically everything that he had been involved with since he came to the Southern Water Tribe.
"He will be bringing you some Earth Kingdom tea and crackers. And, like I told you a year or so before, do not eat any raw foods, abstain from heavy activity, and all that. I hope you will find food from other places better for your stomach; all of this fish is never good for a woman, for it has been known to make them miscarry." I reminded her; sitting up.
"And I do hope that you tell Hakoda as well; he may be incredibly naïve, but he will rejoice when he hears such news. Just…keep the fact that you laid with someone else out of your news to him; though I think it might bring him back down to the ground if you didn't." I laughed and then exited her tent.
A few seconds later, Zhao entered the tent with some hot weak tea and crackers. The next nine months should be interesting, so I thought.
Sadly, they weren't; Kita practically locked us—Zhao, myself, and occasionally Hakoda—out because she didn't want anyone to see her 'growing fat'.
Sokka, eight months old by then, had begun teething and had been weaned; he was beginning to eat mashed stewed sea prunes.
From my point of view, she was pushing herself into a self-imagined corner and knowing it; months ago, she'd had everything she'd wanted—except control of me—wrapped around her little finger and now that her stomach had begun to bulge, she was slowly losing it all.
"A liaison? You're joking." I once said. She was having one of her moods again.
The fatter she became, the more unwilling she was to go face the eye of the citizens; not that anyone would permit a pregnant woman to be out in public. Finally, it was time for her to cast off her mask and become a banshee once again, but this time, no amount of water deterred her screams. During the labor, Zhao came in asking for something.
"What?" I shouted.
"What? I can't hear you! Whoever is screaming should shut up!" Zhao shouted the moment the room was quiet.
"That is Kita." I said frankly.
"I bet you weren't like that when you had to give birth." Zhao said; glancing at an embarrassed-looking Kita.
"With my first child, I occasionally screamed." I replied.
"Well, with you, I bet the people around you could actually get some sleep." Though this wasn't exactly the time for a joke, I chuckled; but only once.
"Come on; she just needs something to distract her from the pain." I sat him down beside her and told her to take her hand.
Quickly, Hakoda came and took her other one as Kita shot at me the annoyed look she would have directed at Hakoda.
"Alright; it's time to push." I said firmly.
It took a few heaves, but the little girl came into the world, took her first breath and began to cry. It took a glance from me to see that she had every distinct Water Tribe trait. Quickly, I cut the cord and gave it a short bath in warm water before swaddling it.
I watched as a great fuss was raised throughout the igloo; silent. Why should she be able to carry and birth a perfectly healthy baby girl while my three eldest children died because of people like her?
"What about your baby girls?" Zhao asked; snapping me out of my envious thoughts.
"Huh?" I asked dimly.
"Your twin daughters who died at birth; what did you want to name one of them?" he asked.
"Laetitia." I told him.
"What about the other one?" Zhao whispered to me quietly.
"Katara." His head shot up.
"Katara?" he asked a bit too loudly.
Kita heard it, and that was enough.
"Did you suggest a name for our daughter, Rai?" she asked; leaning in slightly into Hakoda. As if it wasn't already obvious that she thought that this was Rai's—Zhao's—child and no one else in the igloo didn't suspect it.
"Katara?" he replied dumbly.
"Katara sounds very…melodic." Hakoda offered. He was only being very polite; he probably wanted to name the baby girl after himself.
"Katara it is, then." Kita declared.
I turned my heel and made my abrupt exit. I hear the clomping of Zhao's still-not-accustomed-to-the-ground stride behind me.
"I'm not angry." I said when he tried to turn me around to face him.
"I am sorry; I spoke out of line." He apologized. It was too late for that; Katara had been taken from me. It felt like an insult to my daughter's memory to let Kita name her baby 'Katara.' We had reached my igloo and I stopped him.
"Kita will find you a place to sleep." I told him stiffly. He opened his mouth to protest, I doubted that Kita would try and seduce him while she felt ugly and unattractive.
"Hakoda is too wrapped up in his own cocoon of happiness to notice those…signs, so his attitude won't change towards you. Well, at least not yet." I added; of course Hakoda would despise him when he turned out to be Fire Nation. He made his reverences and walked away.
Days later, Kita was suffering from 'womb troubles' and would possibly never again have another child. When she collapsed on the street, thereby throwing many citizens into a panic, they began to plan for a funeral; childbed fever had killed too many women already. The Healers could not, for some reason, extend their healing abilities to the womb; the physical damage had to be visible and outside of the body, as far as they knew of.
Even though I was the one nursing her—I still can't remember why I bothered to do so—and she was making progress, she never missed a chance to lash out at me for whatever reason.
"The fever is at its highest; she will be delirious." I warned Hakoda when he and Zhao wished to see her.
"Get away from me!" she screamed when Hakoda began to sit down close to her. "I know it! I know you all! You—!"
"Come, Hakoda! Why don't we go ice-fishing, or buy some fish? Your mother can make stew tonight!" Zhao hastily jumped up.
"She'll poison it!" Kita was ranting. "She'll poison it, just like she poisoned me!"
I turned to Hakoda; motionless. "She is delusional; I told you, Hakoda, you should not interfere with these matters."
"You traitors! You witches! You Fi—!" I grabbed the pot of warm water and poured some into her mouth; temporarily stopping her flow of words. The healers did say to give her water constantly. "D'you see that? She's trying to drown me! And the water is hot!"
"I warmed it beforehand."
"There's no fire here!"
"There is one in a pot that Rai has; he brought it to me." I pushed the spittoon-like iron pot towards Kita.
"No! You think you can kill me just because I know the truth?"
"Leave; you're upsetting her!" Yuna, one of Kita's friends, said shrilly when she came into the tent.
Hakoda and Zhao left.
Zhao came and went for the following seven years; always making sure to bring presents for everyone he was closely associated with in the Water Tribes.
The only time, other than the last time he came, that his visit was significant was once in the year of the Bison.
When he came, his demeanor was not calm, like it usually was, he seemed nervous. He ran towards me; a stricken look on his face.
"Come with me!" he said, more like ordered, briskly in Huowen.
"What—?" I began, but he grabbed my wrist and dragged me away before I could say anything else. He led me to the outskirts of the ice; to where a somewhat-small boat was at the shore. As I got closer, I saw a body on it. It was confusing—why would Zhao bring me a body?—but as I neared it I saw his gold eyes and the birthmark on his right hand from when he tried to raise it to wave me over.
"Lu Ten!" I cried out; reaching the ship and seeing his terrible condition. Most of his bandages were almost bled through and I could see that many of his bones, among them most of his ribs and parts of his legs, were broken. His face, the once radiant-smiling one which held a laugh for any amusing jest, was marred by so many cuts and bruises and his left arm was in a sling; the visible scars looking to be infected.
"Wh—What happened?" I choked out; unable to bear seeing my last child in this state.
"Ba Sing Se." he told me, though I could barely hear it because of his soft voice.
"Tell me; who? Who attacked you and who let you rot like this?" I demanded; packing together some snow with my bare hands and putting it over a very ugly-looking bruise.
"That doesn't need to be discussed. I—I wanted to see you one last time…to say goodbye." Lu Ten replied.
"No!" I cried out; gripping his hand tighter.
"Father told me that with treatment, I could have survived…but that would have prevented me from—." He began to cough uncontrollably and I yelled at Zhao to help me turn my son onto his side so he would not choke on his own blood.
"You refused treatment for your wounds? Agni help me, I've given birth to a complete imbecile!" I cried; a part of me actually laughing.
"Lu Ten, you are the last of my children; how can I—?" I began to succumb to hysterics, but he placed his hand over mine and gave it a light squeeze.
"I may be the youngest, but I am not your last heir. You still have Iroke." He said. My eyes widened at the mention of his name, to which Lu Ten chuckled and smiled; his eyes gleaming with amusement.
"Yes, I know about Iroke. Father told me. I know about my older brother, Tai, and the two girls who would have been my sisters, Laetitia and Katara." he told me.
"But still, you could have survived if you accepted treatment from the doctors! Why did you refuse it and choose instead to spend your last moments in the cold and unforgiving lands of this hellish place?" I asked again; unable to understand.
"When most people die, they die full of regrets and worries…" Lu Ten began; so he was going to try and pull a philosophical moment on me, I thought. "But not me. What reason would I have to regret dying right now? I am not the last heir from yours and Father's line; Iroke is still alive and well. Mother, please understand, father would never have consented to let me come here had I not inherited your stubbornness and used it as what you may call blackmail. I can spend my last moments with you; after being raised only by male relatives for almost twenty-five years, this company is definitely welcomed." He smiled; and I fought the urge to tighten my hand around the cloth of his bandages.
I do not know how I survived those twenty-five years alone in the wasteland where my first son died; maybe I did so because I had hoped that Iroh would come for me one day and we--Lu Ten, Iroh, and myself--could be a family once more. The endurance of the human spirit is remarkable when one sees it in a proper light.
"I made something for you." Lu Ten rasped; pulling out a small wrapped package. I took it and opened the gilded wooden box that went with it. Inside, there was a handmade bracelet with gold wire and pure glass—if not gemstone—beads.
"Lu Ten; it's beautiful." I whispered to him; leaning down and giving him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled at that gesture.
I saw the paper that was used to wrap it in was also drawn and colored by hand. I unwrinkled it; remembering that this piece of art was one that he had made when he was six and still drawing circles with stick legs protruding from various angles.
"Oh…it's a…Komodo Rhino." I said; remembering that my last guess of a donkey wasn't correct.
"Actually, it's a…" Lu Ten began, but I heard his voice getting softer; eventually fading.
"Lu Ten!" I shouted; dropping the picture and grabbing him by his shoulders. I received no response. Desperately, I tried to perform the 'Breath of Life' on him, but to no avail; he had died.
Instead of crying and screaming like I did when Tai died, I stood up quietly and shut his eyelids. "May you live forever in the heavens under Agni's wing." I whispered a soft prayer and then turned to Zhao.
"Take his body back to Iroh. Cremate it on the way if you must; a royal funeral must be held for him." I ordered.
He silently went over to the canoe and did my bidding. Before he went, though, he reached into his own pocket and extracted something.
"He wanted me to give this to you." Zhao said; holding it out.
It was the music box and key I had given him for Kurisumasu all those years ago. Without another word, the small boat set off again; going back to present Iroh with the corpse of our youngest son. What I would have given to go with them.
I dragged myself back to my secluded igloo and there, played the music box endlessly and cried for the next three days and nights.
For those who asked why I was in such a period of distress, I said that it was an anniversary of some bad event that supposedly happened to me. The people of the tribe, though they were of a younger generation, were still a bit suspicious of me so they did not seek to press the matter. When they asked about the music box, I told them that Rai had gotten it for me for some reason or another and that was as far as the issue went.
During my three days of lying in my sleeping bag in a fetal position, I thought about very much about my husband and—four of them now dead, the last one missing—children and the possibility of what could have been.
Our family wasn't supposed to be filled with such tragedy. Lu Ten, being the baby of our family, should have been the little boy whom his twin sisters loved to tease and dote on, the one whom Tai and Iroke could have grown up together with; my twin daughters would have been the beauties of our families; Iroke would not have been kept a secret and would have been brought up in the royal lifestyle with plenty of privileges and a better quality of education than that received by children in basic grammar school; and Tai, my firstborn chibi onni, would have been an honorary prince—the blue-eyed, brown-haired mirror image of his father when Iroh was his age—and have started a family of his own. But the bitter results of this war and prejudiced hatred have, in a way, killed all five of my children. Iroke, if not dead, was somewhere on Kinjo Island; without the wealth, lifestyle, title and privileges that were supposed to be for him the moment he was pushed from my womb and living with a false family.
I did not trust myself to sing the song; not then.
Four months later, Zhao came back with a locket containing some of Lu Ten's ashes within the bead; I wore it always.
Kita obviously benefited from my grieving; Zhao was never the man to stay around when women cried—it would have clashed with his 'masculinity', he said to me—and ran out of the igloo when I broke down, and Kita was always 'at the right place, at the right time'.
"Come back soon." Hakoda told him.
I hid my chuckle of amusement as Zhao looked at him incredulously; yes, he was that 'innocent'. Katara and Sokka, 7 and 8, politely waved goodbye. I saw him about to climb into the canoe, but he hesitated. He cast a glance back to the citizens of the Water Tribe, and then swung his foot out of the canoe; coming back to the shore.
Kita's eyes lit up, fantasizing that he would take her away with him, but her fantasies came crashing down upon her when Zhao pushed her out of his way and came up to me.
"Come back; you are still remembered and can start over there." He offered. I shook my head after a moment of deliberation.
"No. You have potential and a future to gain there; go. It's…too late for me." I finalized.
He nodded once, still bowing to me, and then got on the canoe and began to paddle away. I waited and watched until he was nothing more than a dot in the distance; headed back to my true home.
Maybe I should have gone with him. I plagued myself with thoughts and what-ifs for nights after he'd left; regret sinking in.
I could see Kita always near the coastline; waiting and looking at the horizon like an obedient dog waits for its master. Every day, in the morning when she thought no one else is awake, she went there, every spare minute she had during the day, and every evening until the stars came out. It was sad, but no one would have expected the result of her waiting.
One day, she ran through the tribes. "Fire Nation!" she gasped out.
Agni above.
The ships were still the dark metal structures I had grown much accustomed to when I was younger and I watched as they neared.
The time had come; Zhao must have lied to the military men, or maybe some came at their own expense, and now they were here. The warriors and Waterbenders denizened themselves, the way which made them stand out more against the white snow, and were waiting. I had to stand in the back because, once again, it was assumed that all women were weak and squeamish so they wouldn't be able to fight.
The hiss of steam signified the opening of the hatch and lowering of the staircase. Their uniforms were a bit bulkier, or maybe it was just my imagination, and they looked more menacing as they descended from the stairs. The head of the ship, or fleet, always exited first and I saw a man who resembled Azulon lead the way down. Right behind him was Zhao.
But this wasn't the Zhao—Rai, for the matter—the Water Tribes knew. This Zhao had on a flawless Fire Nation armor suit and a face of ice with his hair tightly pulled back and his ashen sallow skin adding to his new 'role' as the so-called antagonist.
Next to me, Kita gasped and before I could restrain her, she broke from the crowd and pushed her way past the warriors. Hakoda called out to her, but she was deaf to his cries.
"Rai." She uttered out the word as if it was the only one she could say. He stared at her with steely and cold eyes. A human blizzard. Azulon's look-alike stepped in.
"What barbaric rubbish are you spewing out, wench? Do you realize who you are in the presence of?" he demanded of her icily. Zhao held out a hand to make him stop.
"My name is General Zhao. I am of the fourth division in the Fire Nation army and eternal servant to the Fire Nation." He declared.
Gasps and whispers ran amok through the entire Water Tribe crowd and I tried to pull Sokka and Katara away from the scene but to no avail; they were as curious as their mother felt betrayed, possibly more. Kita looked as if she was choking, I guess she couldn't swallow his declaration, but she stayed frozen on the spot; unable to tear herself away. Azulon-look-alike and Zhao broke out in Huowen.
"This place is pathetic." I silently agreed with the Azulon-look-alike.
"Yes, but if we do not show them fear, then they will get arrogant." Zhao replied. How true.
"Then let us start with an execution." The ringleader said; scanning the crowd. Women hid their children behind their backs in a vain attempt to shield them from view and men tried to stand up straight as if showing no fear but I knew they were just about ready to piss in their pants.
The man's finger pointed to Kita. Before she could react, a soldier, who seemed to be quite young, grabbed her by her upper arms and dragged her towards the conversing comrades. Zhao turned to her and she weakly looked up at him. I barely heard her, but her last words were like a desperate last plead.
"What about us? What about our child? Rai—." She was silenced by a slap. Hakoda nearly rushed forward, but I outran him and blocked his way. I don't know what else happened, but a powerful emotion of disdain surfaced in me; looking back, it was probably because I wanted to scapegoat someone for all of my miseries.
My lips moved, and sound came out from between them. A few of the soldiers heard me, Zhao definitely heard me, and I am not sure if Azulon's-look-alike heard, but Kita did. She looked at the expression on Zhao's face, and then around to the other soldiers who heard me, and then her eyebrows knitted together in thought. Did she know?
A moment later, the look of pure horror and realization crossed her face. In that striking moment, when Zhao and I locked eyes, we realized that there were no more options. Swiftly, before many eyes could even realize that the bright blur was Fire, it was over and everyone watched as her blood dripped onto the snow and her clothes and her body burned as it hit the ground.
Something happened, I guess someone started it, but then another massacre broke out. With better technology and more highly skilled people, it was no wonder why the Fire Nation troops slaughtered the impulsive and poorly armed and trained Water Tribe men with ease.
I quickly grabbed Katara, who was screaming and shouting for her mother and at the Fire Nation soldiers, and shoved her into a nearby ice ditch. She was crying furiously and her breath came out in little hiccups.
"Where's mom, Gran-Gran?" she demanded. I shook my head; taking out a handkerchief, I didn't realize my mistake then, and wiping away her tears and snot.
"She's…at peace." I hesitated before saying 'at peace' and I watched as Katara realized what I meant.
"The Fire Nation!" she shouted in anger. Oh, shit. "I want to kill all of them! They all deserve it! They're nothing but mindless, life-destroying savages!" who taught her that?
I grabbed her arms and looked her straight in the eye.
"Katara, listen to me; no one and nothing are always as it seems. You will never know what life is like on the other side unless you're an outsider looking in. Some people are bad and others are good, I will admit, but you must not be prejudiced. Promise me that, Katara." I hissed.
She looked confused, probably because she'd never heard most of those long words I'd said before, but nodded anyway. I left her with another woman and went out on the battlefield. It was still raging but despite all that, no one noticed Zhao standing still and staring down at the corpse of my former conceited daughter-in-law.
Despite his coldness, he still did develop a small soft spot for her through Katara. When he caught sight of me, we looked at each other, then down at the blackened remains.
"What if—what if I made a mistake?" he murmured; most likely to himself. I sighed.
"There is no such thing as a mistake, Zhao; only choices. There is either a good or a bad choice; only consented or pressured. People who have heard of the man and his supposed choice, they are the ones who choose to interpret that person's choice as 'good' or 'bad'." I looked at his still-confused expression. "Just remember this, Zhao: when it comes to decisions, it is not the choice you make that will make others see you as what you want them to; it is how you react to the consequences. Your comrades need you; make a choice, to fight or to stay like this, and then go live out the consequences and your life." I then turned and walked away.
He was swayed by my two-way soliloquy and went to join his comrades in the front line. I was about to go also when I noticed that the Azulon look-a-like was also there; fighting despite an injury in his upper arm. I ran over to him; turning him around.
"Stop this; you will gain nothing from slaughtering the people of this Water Tribe." I told him in Huowen. He was a bit surprised that I knew more Huowen than what I had said prior to the attack, but I could see that he was trying to think of any female spies the Fire Nation had deployed to the Southern Water Tribe.
"There were rumors of a weapon, a dangerous one, being stored here." he said.
I burst out laughing at his words; they were just too amusing. "Here? Where would they even hide such a thing? If you remember, most 'secret weapons' are large. No one can hide such a thing here." I said, but the old man still looked skeptical, even a bit suspicious.
"Just because you can speak Huowen doesn't mean that you are one of us." He replied briskly. I was incensed; was he actually calling me a spy for the tribe that killed my firstborn son? Though I did want to witness the death of those tribesmen whom I detested the most, I wished more to reveal my authority and make that old man eat his words.
"Call it off, by the command of your princess!" I demanded; removing my left mitten to reveal my wedding ring. His eyes bulged out, then he locked eyes with me; seeing that I was still Yukihiya despite my aged appearance (which I had the damned weather in this tribe to blame for). He was motionless for a moment, and then he slapped me.
I fell onto the snow and was about to get up and retaliate, but then I remembered the roles that we were supposed to fulfill, and quickly got up to run back to the Water Tribe area. Out of nowhere, a hand grabbed my throat; choking me.
"You turncoat." The rough voice of a certain comrade snarled. Hakoda was screaming "Sen, what are you doing?" but we were both deaf.
"He will call off the attack. I spoke to him." I managed to cough out.
"We can win this by ourselves!" The chauvinist declared, and then tightened his hold on my neck.
I swung my arm blindly as hard as I could upwards; unleashing fire as I made contact. Coughing, I turned to look at Sen; his throat was badly burnt. I was about to run again when I felt something dragging me away.
"For the last time—!" I assumed that it was a woman. Once we were in a vacant area, Hakoda turned to me; his disbelieving gaze locking onto mine.
"What—What were you saying to the old man?"
"It is called Huowen; it is the official language of the Fire Nation. They do not teach the language to anyone outside their nation." I added; hoping he would get the hint.
"But that means you wouldn't be able to have spoken it unless—!" At that time, I chose to let loose a fire arc from my gloved hand. His eyes widened and then darted to his own outstretched hands. I laughed despite the pain in my throat.
"No, do not worry; you don't have the blood of heartless savages in you." I taunted.
"But then who—?" he began.
"I do not know who your real parents are; all I know is that about twenty-nine years ago, I found you on a boat abandoned save for your birth medal which stated that you were about two at the time. I took you with me to the Southern Water Tribe and here you have remained." I said. He was speechless yet again.
"So your friends were right; I'm not one of your kind. Are you going to kill me now? Your daughter certainly swore to do so when I ran her into the shelter." I asked dully. He summoned an ice spear.
"Do it. I give you no resistance." The ice was shaking.
"Tell everyone who I am, who you actually are, and what you did; you'll be praised as a hero. In no time, you'll be considered one of them. You'll find another wife, have more children, be 'the man,' and all you have to do is kill me." I said calmly. Suddenly, he thrust his hands downwards--the ice melting into water--and collapsed onto his knees; sobbing.
I brushed away the tears gently, yet coldly.
"No, no, no; this is not the time to wallow in your overbearing emotions. Nothing is going to change the past. You need to move on." I said as I raised his head and continued to wipe away the tears. He was a pretty good Waterbender, I recalled, and decided to run with that.
"I'll train you." I said; watching as he stared at me with incredulous eyes.
"You're a traitor." He retorted.
"But I know how to fight; d'you want to be like those piss-wet boys who were slaughtered back there? So can you learn to accept and take help from a traitor and learn how to properly fight or be a soldier who are only good at dying?" I snapped back.
"Master Koyo is training me." Hakoda said stiffly.
"Are you sure he isn't dead?" He accepted after that statement.
With my training, he became more focused and could execute his techniques with better precision.
Master Koyo had survived, but he was badly disabled and burned and could no longer teach; but it did not mean that he could not have hobbled. Once, in the year of the Dragonfly, he saw me 'training' Hakoda.
"A Firebender?" he screamed; hobbling over. But, due to his injuries, he could do nothing but shake his right hand—of which two of his fingers were missing—at me.
"You—You—Abomination!" I clenched my fists.
"Don't you have some other man to verbally abuse?" I snapped back.
Instead of retorting, which I thought was what he did for a pastime, he began to 'run' back to the town. I started after him, but suddenly I saw that he was pulled under the ice by an invisible force. Hakoda had beaten me to it. I walked over to him as he leaned over the old master.
"You shall not tell a soul." His voice was deep with seriousness.
"I will have you both killed!" Koyo threatened.
"Don't forget that I can kill you." If he could threaten, so could I.
Koyo turned to me; a sneer visible. "But you're a woman."
And people wondered why I refused to marry him.
I punched him in the nose; blood pouring out in a matter of seconds. "Let us leave, my son." I said coolly; taking his arm.
A fisherman found Koyo a few hours later, half-frozen to death, and decided to put the old man out of his misery; he was deliriously ranting by the time the fisherman had chipped him out of the ice.
A year and a half passed and Hakoda, who had gained respect and admiration due to his sudden mastery in Waterbending, announced that he was going off to aid the Earth Kingdom in fighting the Fire Nation.
After his announcement, 'war fever' hit hard among the males. I had no one to blame for his sudden zeal in fighting but myself; after all, every action carries within it a seed of a, usually destructive, reaction. To me, those whom Hakoda chose to train and accompany him to the Earth Kingdom had been fed too many lies to face their so-called enemy. They weren't ready, I thought, to face the world; they only believed the antediluvian propaganda that they had been fed. I could no longer go onto the streets without hearing some males talking about taking revenge on the 'Fire Nation savages' and eagerly talking about their 'hero's welcome'.
"I will not kill them." Hakoda said to me a week before he was to journey off.
"Don't try and give your word to a promise you will not be able to keep." I replied; of course he would kill, for survival or glorious means didn't matter to him anyways.
"I will not." He repeated.
"Don't think you have a debt towards me and such a way is to repay your debt; it was my decision to train you. Their blood will be on my hands." He stood up, about to deny it, but I held up a hand and quietly asked for him to leave.
On the day before he was to go, I handed him a small sack of provisions and the medal. "The boar is a symbol in the Earth Kingdom of the Beifong clan, who are clustered in the mid-southern part of the Earth Kingdom, and since you're a Waterbender, it's safe to guess that one of your parents is from the Northern Water Tribe. You will find your real parents soon enough." I handed him the note as well; it might serve as the key to finding his parents.
He came forward; suddenly embracing me. "Even if I do find them, you'll always be my mother." His voice choked with emotion.
I gave him a small pat on the back and watched as he embraced his—he still stated that Katara was his child, even after I'd told him of Kita and Rai's affair—daughter and shook hands with his son.
By the light of the moon, with the fat lamps glowing, the small fleet of Water Tribe ships cast off.
With the lack of men to supervise the women, except for the teenaged Sokka, most of them now had free reign with power they'd never imagined that they could have.
Katara, after being exposed to the world of childbirth when she was eleven, helped me in any way she could with my 'midwife' profession but I could tell that she was very squeamish when it came to blood and more accident-prone than her mother, so I usually let her accompany me only when I'd found a tiger-seal in labor; they did not bleed as much.
I had to abandon my igloo on many occasions and sleep in the tent—there was no ice-carver to build the houses anymore and he never trained any apprentices even before his death—that Sokka and Katara inhabited.
During those times, I would often wake up in the middle of the night and hear Katara quietly sobbing and sniffling.
Two years passed in that fashion, but it all changed when a young Airbender, Aang, came into our village and a flare went off from the Fire Nation ship that was trapped on a distant shore. I agreed with Sokka that Aang should have been sent away; young hearts would heal quickly from rejection, especially if there was an entire Earth Kingdom that needed to boost their morale somehow and give many of their citizens a reason to drink and celebrate.
Katara looked almost exactly like her mother waiting for Rai; staring off longingly into the distance.
"Katara…" I began; regarding her. She turned to me angrily.
"Are you happy now? There goes my only chance to be a Waterbender!" Katara shouted and stomped off.
I wiped away the spit on my face.
There went my last chance to go back to the Fire Nation as a recognized citizen, but you don't hear me complaining, do you?
Less than half an hour later, a sole Fire Nation ship wedged itself into the village and a quadrant of soldiers marched down. I regarded the young leader with the scar on his right eye. He walked with ease; his posture erect and his golden eyes scanning carefully the crowd of women and children. He moved with a lithe grace; a talent expected in Firebenders trained by the best one I'd known of...
Sokka had inherited his parents' foolishness and brash manner; it was boys like him who gave the Water Tribes their impudent reputation.
"Where is he?" The young Fire Nation man demanded; again scanning the crowd. Slowly, he walked back and forth; suddenly thrusting his hand out and grabbing me.
"He be about this age, master of all elements?" he demanded. I was not as old as the Avatar; at least, I could not look as old!
He thrust me back into the crowd; walking away a distance before unleashing a stream of Fire at us. The stream, I noted, did not spread like one would have expected from a trainee; it was kept under a rigid control. When the flames cleared, I looked directly at him; his golden eyes looking straight ahead and...planning.
Aang came back, knocking off the young man's helmet, and I saw the single diamond of hair; to cut one's hair in the Fire Nation symbolized deep mourning or disgrace, but a single piece of 'retained' hair showed that the wearer was redeemable. Also, it could be noted that he, the young leader, was not physically marked in any other way besides his scar; his pale skin also signifying a high rank in the hierarchy. There was no doubt about it, it was him.
Ironically, Aang turned out to be the long-lost Avatar and the young leader seemed satisfied enough at taking him and leaving the tribe; he had obviously been taught that superfluous destruction and devastation amounted to nothing.
Barely an hour later, Sokka and Katara made the decision to go with Aang. I gave him some supplies and offered them words I'd heard from another woman. Hope, and the revival of it, I believe. After they'd gone, I looked out at the horizon.
"Godspeed, Prince Zuko. Godspeed." I whispered.
FINALLY! I got to where the present show-setting begins!