Chapter 20 - Excuse Me, But...

Author's Notes: I own nothing, save for the storyline, the mistakes, Dahlia, and Alyssa.

"Excuse me? I'm sorry, but did you just say that your hopes of dating this girl hinge on me and Simon coming with you?! Like, in a romantic sense?" I couldn't help but screech at my roommate. She looked sheepish as it was, but now she just went from that to confused.

"Oh, wait, god no!" Her eyes went wide as he went back over the conversation, realizing that she painted Simon and I as a couple. "Oh, no! I meant just as friends! Like, it's a date for me and Alyssa, but not for the two of you! Just takes the pressure off of us for our first date, being out with a group, you know?"

"Good, because I was going to say, if some random girl knows about my twisted..." I hesitated, something that didn't go unnoticed by my roommate. "...friendship thing with Simon, I was going to hit you with my purse!"

"Please no! I'm sorry, don't hit me with the Purse of Death!" Her eyes went wider, as if begging me not to hit her.

Unfortunately, that name wasn't going to help her case much. "Purse of Death?! Who came up with that one?" Immediately, my mind went to Simon, the only one corny enough to say that. Seeing Dahlia about to respond, I just held up a hand. "Nevermind, Simon, I know."

"So, do you think he'll mind...?" My roommate, for as blunt as she usually was, was being shy now. Jeez, she really liked this girl.

"Did you guys set a date yet?" I tilted my head curiously, because I highly doubted Simon would have a problem with it. Besides, it wasn't him I was worried about. It was Amanda. All I needed was to have that bitch come up and squawk at me about how I was stealing Simon away from her.

"Probably at night, so that way Bitchtits can't get her psycho ass anywhere near us. If Alyssa's interested in me, I don't want her to fuck it all up for me by causing me to throw her through a wall." It was like Dahlia was reading my mind, but then, it wasn't too much of a surprise. We were getting close, and we both hated her and her crazy shit.

"If I don't smash her with a bowling ball first." I added on, before a thought hit me. "Or something blunt and heavy, since I have no idea what we're doing yet."

Dahlia rolled her eyes at me, examining her manicure. "Oh, please, you probably couldn't even pick up one of those things."

"Hey, if I couldn't, then that means your...possible...girlfriend couldn't either, since I'm taller than her. And you don't want her to hear that, do you?" I smiled at her innocently, because I actually had her beat for once.

And she knew it, too. "Shut up, you little shit."

"Alyssa's smaller than me." I pointed out helpfully, knowing all she had were short references, which she couldn't really use now.

She made a face like she suck a lemon and smelled a rotten egg at once. "Fine, you win this one, bitch."

I only ended up laughing happily, because that was the closest thing I'd get to Dahlia admitting defeat.

"At least we don't have to worry about Bitchtits coming in here this time." Dahlia said happily, as we sat in Hello Bistro at one of the taller tables, devouring the huge salads that were in front of us. We both ended up getting the build a bowl salads, and Dahlia's definitely had a Mexican influence while I just stuck to Asia. And we both got water with lemon to go with it.

"Let me guess, if she did, you'd stab her with your fork?" I asked her curiously, as I stabbed at my own salad for emphasis on the question.

"Damn straight."

"But, you're not." My smile matched my tone.

It took her a few seconds to get the joke, but when she did, she just rolled her eyes and tossed her wadded up napkin at me. "That was unbelievably corny."

The wad of paper jumped off my crown, luckily landing on the floor and not in my salad. Or worse, my drink. "Yeah, well, I have to put up with short jokes from you and your ass. So you get the gay ones from me."

She just narrowed her eyes at me, before sucking noisily on her drink.

"Good god, don't tell me that you admit defeat already. You're off your game, Dollface."

"Yeah, well, I'm thinking of the cute girl I met today, and that I have a date, and it's been so freaking long since I've been out on a date and what if I screw it up?" The words came out in a rush, and I had to blink a bit. Because...damn...I'd never heard her like this before.

"First off, you're Dahlia Hissam, badass roommate extraordinaire." That got her to snort. "Second, if she doesn't want to date you after this, then there's something wrong with her, because you're freaking awesome. You'll go head to head with Amanda without even thinking about it for me or Simon, and jump in front of a bus for Bryce. You're loyal and a good person. And if Alyssa can't see that, then she's crazy."

"Then, I guess it's good I'm not crazy, huh?"

Dahlia's eyes went wide as I whirled around, being met with Alyssa's smiling face behind me. Neither one of us heard her come in, but we were both talking, and the floor was carpeted, so it'd absorb the sound of her heels. "What are you doing here?! I thought you had work today!" My roommate's voice was full of shock, and if it was any other situation, I would've burst out laughing.

At is was, I didn't, because she'd happily throw me off a bridge if I did.

Alyssa shrugged coyuly, going around the table to Dahlia's side. "I called in my relief and said I had an urgent matter that needed to be taken care of. He came in, and I left." She smiled sweetly. "I'm breaking my own rule by doing this, but I couldn't wait."

"This seat's not taken." Dahlia replied just as coyly, gesturing to the one next to her.

"Help me into it since I'm so small?" Alyssa gave as good as she got, his brown eyes wide and helpless.

And my roommate couldn't hide the smile on her face as Alyssa walked around to the chair, putting her hands on her hips and 'helping' her up...even though we all knew the shortest girl could get into the chair just fine. "Do you guys want to be alone? Or have company?"

Utterly oblivious to Dahlia's murderous glare, or just choosing not to point it out, Alyssa smiled calmly. "Whichever works for you...Carly?" Her face scrunched as Dahlia corrected her on my name. "Clary. Sorry."

I waved off the apology quickly. "It happens a lot, no big deal." And then I sent them both a megawatt smile. "I think I'll go and see what Simon's up to."

"Probably studying and being a good nerd." Dahlia replied with a snort.

"Do you want me to leave, since it doesn't matter to Alyssa?" I asked her pointedly right in return.

"I'll shut up now."

Smiling happily at my roommate, and taking note that her date was watching us with an amused smile of her own, I stood up, grabbing my bowl and my soda. "Do you still want to do the group date, Alyssa? Because I have a feeling Simon, my best friend, will be totally up for that."

"Dahlia and I can talk about it, see what we want to do." The shortest girl replied honestly, still smiling, which only got wider as she and my roommate made eye contact. "I'm still game for it, if you guys are."

I nodded, as my roommate agreed with her sentiment that they'd talk. Somehow...I highly doubted they'd get much talking about us done today...

Not that it was a bad thing at all.