==Warnings: Depictions of alcohol abuse, prescription medication abuse, marijuana use, non-consensual sex, date-rape, panic attacks, depression and thoughts of suicide. If any of these are triggers, please do not read.==

They spent another day in DC before Charlie sent info over about a possible poltergeist in West Virginia. The monuments were grand though he thought they lacked color. The Romans were in the habit of actually painting their buildings contrary to popular knowledge. Dean mostly suffered his 'nerdiness' with him, but he knew it was mostly for show. There were some places that certainly grabbed the interest of Dean, though he would never admit it. It was Dean's style to not portray himself as intelligent when in fact, he is quite smart. Why he did so was beyond him, though Cas suspects it's because of Sam.

One thing they did enjoy was the food, and Dean was more than happy to stuff his face. It was worrying that Dean ate mostly unhealthy foods, so he tried to subtly suggest eating healthier. Needless to say, his advice was ignored. They both slept better when on the road, even though Dean complained about the mattresses not remembering him. It was likely because they can keep an eye on each other, something they cannot do in the bunker.

All through the hunts and their 'fun trips' he learned more and more on human behavior. The irrational fear he had being in large groups of people was lessening, though he did not like anyone in his personal space. Unless it was Dean, then he was ok with that and so was Dean. He had not reprimanded him once whenever he inadvertently was in Dean's personal space. There was still no luck in trying to find a way to send the angels back up to Heaven. Given the lack of news about them, he supposed they were in hiding and pretending to live the lives of their vessels.

It was in a small diner they were about to enter when a young fit man approached them. "Castiel" he called out in a monotone inflectionless voice. Both he and Dean reached for their guns when he put up his hands. "I mean no harm to either of you. I've come to speak to you both."

"That's what they all say before they get all stabby. What's your name, what are you and what do you want." Dean asked in his commanding voice. He always hated being surprised.

"Ezekiel, I am an angel and I want to talk." The revelation he was an angel made his heart seize a bit. The last angel he had encountered had tried to kill him. This was Ezekiel though, a most neutral angel who had helped him in the past.

"It's ok Dean, Ezekiel was once an ally of mine." Which he hoped Ezekiel still was.

Shrugging, Dean let his hand fall away from his backside and gun. "Ok, if you'll vouch for him."

"I do" he replied before turning back to his brother, "why have you sought us out Ezekiel?"

"Whoa, before we go on about this stuff, can we eat? I'm hungry."

Rolling his eyes, "yes, Dean, we can eat. Do you mind joining up Ezekiel?" His brother nodded and they went inside. He and Dean sat next to each other facing Ezekiel.

Once the coffee arrived, Ezekiel was direct to the point. "There is conflict among the angels as to the cause of our downfall. Some are certain that it was Castiel, others say it was Metatron. A few believe it is penance from Father for our arrogance."

"And what do you think Zeke?" Dean asked.

Raising his eyebrow at his name being shortened, he continued, "I am under the impression that Castiel would have stopped this from happening."

He looked downward in guilt, "I am partially responsible. Metatron tricked me into gathering the ingredients for the spell. My intent was to close Heaven with the angels inside. I had hoped that it locked the angels in Heaven, we could then work out our differences and protect Earth. Metatron wanted to exact vengeance for his casting out and so he cast us all out."

Ezekiel tilted his head, "I cannot see your halo brother. What has happened to your grace?"

Dean answered him in his place, "that dick Metatron ripped it out of him. It was the final piece of the spell. Cas's human." There was anger in his voice.

"So it is true, you are human now. I am sorry Castiel."

Looking up, "I am not unhappy that I am human. I am with the circumstances that lead me to be human, but it has been an…enlightening experience."

Dean looked at him surprised, "you sure about that Cas? Being human must be like a downgrade for you." He knew Dean didn't want to let Ezekiel know what had happened to him in the beginning, but of late, he had started seeing the benefits of being human. He put his hand on Dean's thigh, and the hunter seemed a bit surprised, but didn't push it away.

"I am Dean. Yes, there are some instances of where I wish I was not. However, there are now certain things that I can now experience I never could have as an angel, even one with depleted grace." Dean's checks slightly reddened and he wouldn't look him in the eye.

"I'm going to hit the head real quick." Dean said as he abruptly got up.

"Hit the head?" Ezekiel asked as Dean walked away.

"It's a euphemism to use the restroom. How is it that you can communicate with the others?"

"We cannot use our wings and thus we cannot fly, but all of our other powers are intact in general, including angel radio. There are some who have been very vocal on trying to find you and kill you. Others want you to fix this." Ezekiel leaned in closer to him. "We cannot survive down here brother. We are celestial beings meant to be in Heaven. We are all weakened here and we desire to return home."

"I know…but I do not know where to begin to fix this. Nor do I know if I should. Every time I try to fix something, I break it even worse. This latest fiasco case in point."

"Do not belittle yourself Castiel. You did the right thing. Many of us believe in our true purpose now because of you."

Sighing, "I am not certain what our true purpose is supposed to be. Or what my purpose is now, besides trying to fix this and hunt things."

"Was it not you that tried to teach us free will? Now that we are on Earth, we can see it in effect. This was not possible in Heaven, with all of us feuding with each other."

With its regimental hierarchy, and its collapse, it was indeed difficult to find ascertain what free will is in Heaven. He had not thought that being on Earth might be in fact, a good thing for his brethren. Still, they needed to return home. The earth was meant for humans, not demons, monsters or angels. Especially angels.

Dean came back and sat down just in time when the food arrived. Having ordered his heart clogging breakfast usual Dean just dove into eating it. His own healthier oatmeal and toast was bland, but healthier at least. Ezekiel declined to eat, though he did drink the coffee to keep up appearances.

"So, what is the angel squad doing then?" Dean asked between bites.

"Most of us are in vessels, simply living their lives as best we could. Some are without vessels and are still trying to find ones. Others, like myself, are wandering trying to do good where we can."

"Sorta like hunting then?" Dean inquired.

"In some cases, yes. Some are doing minor miracles, healing for example. And some are trying to find a way to return to Heaven. Some know of Metatron's involvement, but none knew how much. May I tell them Castiel, what you said?"

"Yes, but do not disclose where I and Dean are."

"Of course" he replied as a blank look settled on his face.

Dean was almost done, when he looked over at Cas. "I suppose we probably should look for a way to send them upstairs now."

"I have been looking in the library, but this is unprecedented. I believe our best hope is to find the prophet."

"Kevin Tran?" Ezekiel asked, obviously done relaying his message. "He is under the protection of several angels. At his request, we only watch from a distance. And not tell you where he is."

Dean let out a sigh of relief, "thank god, I was worrying about the kid." Then he looked at Ezekiel hard, "what do you mean he doesn't want us to know?"

"To be specific, he did not want you or Sam to know. Where is Sam?"

It was his turn to answer for Dean, "Sam has passed. He sacrificed his life to close the gates of Hell."

Ezekiel was not expecting to hear that. "My condolences."

"Yeah, well thanks." Dean said glumly. He reached under the table and placed his hand back on Deans thigh. Feeling the tension, he added a little pressure just to assure him and he felt Dean ease a little. It was quiet for a few moments before Dean spoke. "Can you get him a message? To Kevin?"

"Yes." Ezekiel said.

"Tell him that Sam…did it. And he can come back and that we need him." Ezekiel nodded. "Ok, I'm ready to blow out of here. Need a lift Zeke?"

"No, I have my own methods of transport."

"It was good to see you again Ezekiel," he jotted their numbers on a napkin, "if you need to contact us. I assume you can still hear prayers?"

"Yes, and I will contact you once the prophet is told."

"Thanks Zeke. See you around." Dean said as he got up, following suit, they paid for the meal and left the diner. Ezekiel came out just as they pulled out of the parking lot. Once on the road, Dean turned up the music and didn't talk. They both were lost in their minds and planning for the future.

It was a mostly quiet trip back home. Cas slept through some of it and then took up reading a book. After a while, he just let the freedom of being on the road take him and forget his worries. Less than an hour away from home, he turned to Cas. "He's kinda like you when we first meet."

Looking at him confused, "who?" asked Cas.

"Zeke. He still had a stick up his ass and spoke like HAL."

Cas seemed to take offense, "Ezekiel is known for being a great warrior and being calm. Nor does he have a stick up his ass."

"Figure of speech Cas. He just reminds me of how we first meet. You were all badass and just looked at the knife I stabbed you with like it was nothing. If I wasn't terrified of you, I would have laughed."

"It did tickle." he remembered.

Dean chuckled, "bet it did. So did you mean that?"

"Mean what?"

"Being human. You said you weren't unhappy."

Cas looked out the window before answering, "I'm not, not entirely. Remember Anna?"

How could he not? She only tried to murder his parents and pop her angelic cherry. "Yeah, what about her?"

"Do you know why she fell? Why she choose to tear out her grace and become human?"

He had to think a moment, "she was tired of blind obedience."

Cas huffed but there was a small weary smile on his face when he glanced over. "Partly, but it was because she wanted to feel. As angels, we feel some emotions, but now that I am human. I…I know that humans feel so so much more than we do."

"Even after all you went through Cas? Because I can tell you, honest to God, I sometimes wish I don't feel anything at all."

"Even so Dean. I miss my wings, I do, but if I ever became an angel again…I don't know." Cas looked back out the window. "I know that with feeling emotions, there are some bad painful ones. But there are also good happy ones too. I wish to feel more of those."

"Well, you're in the wrong line of work for that Cas. We're hunters. It doesn't end happy or pretty for us."

"I don't see how that bars you from being happy. More difficult perhaps, but possible." He rolled his eyes. Great, Cas decided to become an optimist. "I enjoyed seeing the capitol Dean. Thank you for taking me."

"Eh, whatever. As long as you had a good time Cas."

"Maybe we can go on such trips again, for fun?"

"Suppose we can I guess. When we got a moment to relax and there's nothing going on. Right now we got a prophet to convince to help and angels to send back up." They were getting close to the bunker now. "Seeing all those monuments did get me thinking again about setting something up like that for Sam. If I could, I would build him a monument bigger than Washington's."

"And he deserves it, and more." Cas agreed, though they both knew it was an impossibility. "I think he came to me in a dream."

He nearly slammed on the brakes. "He did what now?"

Cas turned to him, "came to me in a dream. I am not certain it was actually him though." He tilted his head, "he came to you too?"

Settling his mind, he let out a breath. "I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me…I mean…coping with him…gone you know."

"There is no certain way to tell," the tone he used though meant he wasn't sure though.

"You're not sure are you?" he asked with some hope.

"It is…possible. It's a rare ability, for a soul to dream walk from Heaven."

That's his baby brother, doing the impossible again. "But it could be him?"

"There is no way to tell. You may be right Dean, it could be just a way to cope."

"What did he say?" Dean asked, ignoring Cas's skepticism.

"That he was in Heaven. Happy. I don't recall everything. It is not my habit to remember my dreams." Granted, his dreams were just as messed up as his. Still, Sam had come to see them both! For some reason he was happy about that. Then it dawned on him what Cas said. Sam was happy in Heaven. At that thought, all the happiness he felt evaporated in a cloud of dismay. Then Cas added, "Death himself came to reap him Dean. And that he was happy that he was able to set out what he wanted to do in closing hell. He also said we needed each other."

"Well, we're family Cas, course I need you." He paused, "so Death himself came down to take Sam? I guess that's…awesome?"

"It is an honor that he would come to reap him. Though it also means that his d…it is final. There is no coming back for him Dean. I'm sorry."

He figured as much, there was something that just told him that this was it. Sam was gone from here for good. And he's ok with that he thinks, because Sam is in the good place. "It's ok Cas. It's been a couple of months, but I know. Guess I should…well, let's just wait till we get home 'k?"

Cas just nodded as he turned the music back on for him. Cas was getting better at reading emotions and between the lines. He was thankful for that, because this conversation was pulling at his emotions. He was Dean Winchester and he does not shed tears easily.