Been a while since I've posted here, hasn't it? I have been so preoccupied by my other stories that I completely lost Vivienne's personal voice, so I had to reread the chapters so that I could get back into the proper flow of her. I will be finishing this up later on and then I will be taking a vote on whether or not to continue with a sequel as many seem not to care whether or not I do. Hopefully you guys enjoy!
Chapter 20 - Impatience
When I woke up I was completely aware of where I was and at the same time, completely unmoved by it. My memories of coming to this boring hotel room were hazy, still twisted up in dreams and nightmares that had not let me rest or cry or breathe.
I tried to remember when I got here, how long I had been between these four melancholy walls, but I couldn't tell if it was night or day thanks to the thick curtains draped over the windows and the alarm clock that I had hidden in the closet - away from myself and my anxiousness.
My dream had left me feeling hollow, a disturbing feeling of nothingness draped around a feeling of complete despair. Jasper would know I was awake. I was glad, of course, that he had not decided to take control over my emotions to calm them yet, it was nice to take a moment and be myself and remember how I - Vivienne Swan - would react in this situation without the use of supernatural narcotics.
My dream, the one that left me aching and hollow, had been flashes of things I was too scared to see again: Charlie's broken expression – Edward's brutal snarl, teeth bared – Arie and I gripping each other at the plane terminal – Rosalie's resentful glare – Shawn teaching me which baseball cards I couldn't touch because they were his favourite – the keen-eyed scrutiny of the tracker – beautiful little Kate hissing at me in French over the dinner table because I would not participate in her newest attempt to win America's Funniest Home Videos – Alice's cool shoulder that had been such a sturdy surface on the ride here – the dead look in Edward's eyes after he kissed me the last time...I couldn't stand to see them. So I hadn't closed my eyes until I finally blinked away the sleep and found that they wouldn't open again.
I was not as charmed as I had always imagined I'd be now that I was home. I had thought that this would be some sort of celebration, some sort of vacation for me – the palm trees, the scrubby creosote, the haphazard lines of the intersecting freeways, the green swaths of golf courses and the turquoise splotches of swimming pools, all submerged in a thin smog and embraced by the short, rocky ridges that weren't really big enough to be called mountains.
Instead, it was like a walk to the gallows. Nothing about beautiful, shining, clear Phoenix was as I remembered it. Since when had the shadows been so pale? It was a blessing and a curse; nothing could hide in these shadows. But that also meant that I would not be able to hide in them either.
"Which way to the airport, Liv?" Jasper had asked, I had blinked up at him, watching him through the rear-view mirror with a look of confusion. Whether it be to my racing thoughts or the sleep deprivation, the words had not made sense to my ears. I could not understand them, like I had not been able to understand Edward after the almost-car-accident. It was like my mind had reverted to French – no, not French – to fear. Human instinct was not telling me to strategize, it was telling me to run.
"Stay on the I-ten," I'd answered robotically, somehow placing my French accent onto the English words. "We'll pass it."
"I thought we were staying in Phoenix?" I'd asked Alice.
"We are, but it's better to be close, just in case."
How perfect a companion Alice had been. Though she looked so small and innocent, she was so sturdy and supportive, in more ways than just her rock-hard shoulder and her cool, calm demeanour. Alice was the only reason that I had not broken down and fallen into an asthma attack right there in the car. Both for the reason that she hadn't been surprised when I had tightly gripped her hand and because she had pulled out my puffer seconds before my lungs began to heave.
When I felt that I would be able to face Jasper's all-knowing feelings and Alice's all-seeing eyes, I rose to go out and meet them. On the way, I stopped to pull back the curtains - it was night. The airport was quiet, the hum of airplanes dull. It was very, very early in the morning
"Can I come in?" Alice asked. She must have heard that I was awake and moving, expecting me to come and join them. I was glad that she closed the door behind her, it was easier talking to Alice rather than Jasper. Jasper unnerved me because of how much his hunger unnerved himself.
I took a deep breath. "Hey, Alice."
"You look like you could sleep longer," she said carefully, I appreciated she was trying not to upset me with it. If the worst of my problems was sleep deprivation, I would have pulled an all nighter just out of the joy of it.
"Sleeping is worse." She may not remember dreams, I had not known how long she had been not-dreaming, but hopefully the idea would stay the same.
"We'll need to stay inside," she nodded, turning to the curtains and firmly shutting them back in place. Apparently I would not get to amuse myself watching the airplanes fight for the runway.
"I know," I whispered.
"Thirsty?" she asked.
I shook my head. "I'll live," I winced at the accidental jibe. "I mean, you know, I didn't mean it like - how's your throat doing? Are you thirsty?"
"Nothing unmanageable." She smiled, it was almost believable that she was happy. "I ordered some food for you, it's in the front room. Edward reminded me that you have to eat a lot more frequently than we do."
My eyes watered because of how I held them open like a deer in the headlights. "He called?"
"No," she watched as my face fell and she couldn't help looking guilty. "It was before we left."
She took my hand carefully and headed out towards the food that I knew I wouldn't be able to stomach. I could hear a low buzz of voices coming from the TV where Jasper sat, his eyes briefly flickering to me and back to the TV – though I'm sure he did not know what was on. I sat on the floor next to the coffee table, pressing my back against the arm of the couch. I used to do this when I was training for ballet; my teacher had chastised me every day for having such terrible posture. This had always made me feel like I was doing something, even though I inevitably slouched in class, but it was nice now to feel like I was doing something besides picking at some food I couldn't identify.
Alice perched on the arm of the sofa and stared blankly at the TV like Jasper.
I ate slowly, watching the two of them, turning now and then to pretend like I was eating some of the food which tasted like watered-down butter chicken. They were quite the sight to see – living statues that were so rigid and stiff it was like they were waiting for someone, or something, to – oh no…
"What's going on? What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong." Her eyes were the most dishonest and innocent I'd ever seen them.
"You're almost as bad a liar as I am." I grumbled, knowing that if she did not want me to know what was wrong, I would never get it out of her. "What are we supposed to do?"
"We wait for Carlisle to call."
"Why hasn't he?" Ah. That. That was what was wrong – her gaze flickered to Jasper for a moment before she shrugged as if it weren't a big deal. My heart couldn't even begin to spasm in panic, but it missed beats as all my focus left the idea of living and turned to worry for the Cullens. "Why hasn't he, Alice?"
"It just means that they don't have anything to tell us, Liv." It was the most well rehearsed and shortest monologue I had ever heard. I felt my heart beat abnormally, painfully – Katie had that voice when she tried her Nancy Drew monologues, the ones where she's gotten caught doing something and has to lie her way out of it.
Jasper was suddenly beside Alice, closer to me than usual.
"Liv," his voice was suspiciously calm. "You have nothing to worry about. You are completely safe here."
"Obviously," I muttered with a bitter frown. "I don't have near heart-attacks just because I'm afraid of the drapes clashing."
"Then why are you frightened?" he asked, confused. He was completely thrown off that I wasn't afraid of him or the other vampires. Was it really so hard to understand that I cared for them as well? Maybe. Maybe he didn't understand that to me, they were not the monsters they thought themselves to be.
"You heard him, he said James was lethal," I said in a whisper. "What if something goes wrong? It would be as easy for something to go wrong as for something to go right – even easier. If something happens to any of them: Carlisle, Emmett...Edward..." I gulped. "If that woman hurts Rosalie or – oh, marde, if she hurt Esme…How could I live with myself? This is my fault. This is all my fault. That you guys have even gone to these lengths for me is ridiculous-"
"Liv, Liv, Vivienne, stop," he interrupted me, his words pouring out so quickly they were hard to understand. "You're worrying about all the wrong things, Liv. Trust me on this – none of us are in jeopardy. You are under too much strain as it is; don't add to it with wholly unnecessary worries. Listen to me!" he ordered as I looked away. Maybe he did have more compulsion than I had a originally thought because I could not stop myself from looking at him. "Our family is strong. Our only fear is losing you."
"Which is stupid, I'm not-"
Alice touched my cheek with her cold fingers, her eyes more honest than I had seen them since the baseball game. She seemed to understand my worry, but she seemed to agree with Jasper. "It's been almost a century that Edward's been alone. Now he's found you. You can't see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?"
Though the guilt slipped away, I knew it wasn't my own doing. Jasper was in the room and though I felt better, I had not changed my mind. So we sat there, at an impasse that had been completely manipulated.
The three of us stayed in the room. Alice called down to the front desk and asked them to ignore our maid service, but to send up food at regular intervals. She gave the deliverers large tips – I could tell by the rush of excitement they left in. The windows stayed shut, the TV on, though I couldn't bear watching it. The silver phone resting on Alice's bag seemed to draw out it's silence into the room with us as the hours passed.
My prison guards handled the suspense better than I did. As I fidgeted and paced, they simply grew more still, two statues whose eyes followed me imperceptibly as I moved. I occupied myself with memorizing the room; I had been in these too many times to count and yet, it was probably the most bland room I'd ever stayed in. Then again, usually when I was in here I was keeping myself occupied by sleep or with friends who had exciting things to talk about. Now I just had friends who were worried whether or not we would all live past this event.
As the afternoon wore on, I went back to bed, simply so I could have something to do. I hoped that the silence would force sleep and I hoped that the sleep would force delusions of Edward coming to claim me again.
But Alice followed me into the room casually, as if by some coincidence she had grown tired of the front room at the same time. Who knew what Edward had told her to do, but I as not at risk of harming myself, so I didn't know why she needed to follow me around like a lost puppy. Not that I minded her company, but the suspicion was nearly distracting. I lay on the bed, watching her as she watched me crossed legged on the end of the bed. I was glad she was here but I could no longer think of anything to say to her – not as Jasper's calming influence disappeared and left me panicky and struggling to keep my breathing controlled.
"Alice?"
"Yes?"
We did not blink or move our eyes, we were examining each other in our own ways. I don't know what I was looking for, but I knew that she had it. "Why haven't they called?"
"Carlisle wanted to lead the tracker as far north as possible, wait for him to get close, and then turn and ambush him. Esme and Rosalie were supposed to head west as long as they could keep the female behind them. If she turned around they were to head back to Forks and keep an eye on your dad. So I imagine things are going well if they can't call. It means the tracker is close enough they don't want him to overhear."
"And Esme?"
"I think she must be back in Forks. She won't call if there's any chance the female will overhear. I expect they're all just being very careful."
"That was really well practiced," I sighed, thinking of how perfect the explanations had been and how obvious it was that she had planned them out before I'd even asked.
"Liv, how many times do we have to tell you that there's no danger to us?"
"However long it takes you to tell the truth of it all."
"I will always tell you the truth."
She was so honest that I couldn't help but believe her, which made me deliberate what I should ask her next. I knew I should take advantage of that knowledge, but I didn't really know what there was to ask. I wanted to ask something about Edward – I wanted to hear someone else talk about him so that I knew he was real, that it wasn't just me, but I didn't want to hear Alice in pain as she spoke of him. I didn't want Edward to be in pain because I was speaking of him when he later heard – then again, the idea of Edward in pain gave me an idea of topics.
"Alice, how does someone become a vampire?"
"Edward doesn't want me to tell you that," she said quickly, but she didn't sound as firm as I would have believed. My question had caught her off guard and I could tell that she was debating whether or not to tell me, it was why she was so quiet.
"Edward seems to want you to stay quiet around me a lot."
"I know." But a small smile had tugged on her lips at the mention of it. It was a smile of remembrance, something I had not been witness to. But then her expression slid and she sighed in exasperation.
"He'll be extremely angry."
"It's none of his business, anyway. This is between us, like two friends at a slumber party – we are friends, aren't me?" It didn't sound manipulative because it wasn't. It sounded unsure. Something about Alice had lured me in and made me like her from the very beginning, as she must have known we would be all along, and she seemed to smile a little at the idea of it.
"I'll tell you the mechanics of it," she said finally when her eyes had told me she had decided. "But I don't remember it myself, and I've never seen it done before, so keep in mind that I can only tell you the theory."
"I don't want to think about you in pain anyway, so that's probably better."
"As predators, we have a gluton of weapons in our physical arsenal – much, much more than really necessary. The strength, the speed, the acute senses, not to mention those of us like Edward, Jasper, and I who have extra senses as well. And then, like a carnivorous flower, we are physically attractive to our prey." I had already seen these things; in the meadow, in their house, on the ice in the school parking lot. But Alice had something else up her sleeve, I could tell by her too-sweet smile. "We have another fairly superfluous weapon. We're also venomous," she said, and I couldn't help but notice that her teeth were glistening. "The venom doesn't kill – it's merely incapacitating. It works slowly, spreading through the bloodstream, so that, once bitten, our prey is in too much physical pain to escape us. Mostly superfluous, as I said. If we're that close, the prey doesn't escape. Of course, there are always exceptions. Carlisle, for example."
I clued in faster than I thought I would. "So it's the venom. When it spreads..."
"It takes a few days for the transformation to complete, depending on how much venom is in the bloodstream, how close the venom enters your heart. As long as the heart keeps beating, the poison spreads, healing, changing the body as it moves through it. Eventually the heart stops, and the conversion is finished. But all that time, every minute of it, the victim would be wishing for death." I shivered. "It's not pleasant, you see."
"If it's so painful for us-I mean, the human," I said quickly, she smiled a little. "But not for you, so why did Edward say it was so difficult?"
"We're also like sharks in a way. Once we taste the blood, or even smell it for that matter, it becomes very hard to keep from feeding. Sometimes impossible. So you see, to actually bite someone, to taste the blood, it would begin the frenzy. It's difficult on both sides – the blood-lust on one hand, the awful pain on the other."
"They really made it difficult didn't they?"
"Yes, whomever created us did." She agreed. "It kills more than it saves – your body needs to be very strong to complete the transformation, you need to be near the prime of your years. An elderly man or woman would not have a chance at survival – their hearts are too exhausted to keep up with the venom."
"Is it luck to survive?"
"I don't think so. I think it's fate." Something in her voice told me she wanted to say something more but wouldn't, and I didn't want to push her when she had already broken Edward's rules of telling me about this.
"Why do you think you survived?"
"I don't know. I don't really remember anything from before this life, as Edward told you. For everyone else, the pain of the transformation is the sharpest memory they have of their human life. I remember nothing of being human." Her voice was wistful.
We lay silently, wrapped in our individual meditations – I tried to imagine what kind of person Edward, Alice and their family would have been before they were changed. Edward had been very handsome, I'm sure, even his vampire allure couldn't mask that he was more beautiful than the others in his family, save Rosalie who must have been striking. Alice must have been graceful, you could see it in the way she moved – more graceful than any of the dancers at my old school.
Using that exact grace, Alice leapt off the bed and stood as if a fire had been lit under her.
"Something's changed." She was not speaking to me. Jasper rushed through the door before she had even finished the second syllable, grasping her shoulders and pulling her to face him.
"What do you see?" he asked intently, staring into her eyes with an intensity that I knew meant trouble. Her eyes were focused on something very far away from the wall she was looking towards over Jasper's shoulder. I leaned in close, trying to catch her inhumanly fast words.
"I see a room. It's long, and there are mirrors everywhere. The floor is wooden. He's in the room, and he's waiting. There's gold...a gold stripe across the mirrors."
"Where is the room?" Jasper asked calmly. It was obvious that this was something they did very often, question her while she was in the state of a vision.
"I don't know. Something is missing – another decision hasn't been made yet."
"How much time?"
"It's soon. He'll be in the mirror room today, or maybe tomorrow. It all depends. He's waiting for something. And he's in the dark now."
Jasper's eyes grew even more intense while he questioned her in that smooth voice of his. He didn't seem as calm as he normally did, which lead me to believe this was not good . "What is he doing?"
"He's watching TV...no, he's running a VCR, in the dark, in another place."
"Can you see where he is?"
"No, it's too dark." She seemed devastated by this, so I placed my hand on her arm as soothingly as I could. I was surprised when her strong, cool hand slapped painfully against my hand to hold it there as if she needed the comfort.
"And the mirror room, what else is there?"
"Just the mirrors, and the gold. It's a band around the room. And there's a black table with a big stereo, and a TV. He's watching the VCR there, but he doesn't watch the way he does in the dark room. This is the room where he waits." Then, suddenly, her eyes refocused on Jasper's face and down to the hand she was holding against her forearm. She gave it a squeeze before releasing it – it was bruised.
"There's nothing else?"
Alice shook her head sadly. They looked at each other, having a conversation with their eyes and emotions that I would never be able to be a part of.
"So what know? What is he doing?" I asked. Neither of them answered for a moment, then Jasper looked at me, a forcibly calm expression passing over his features.
"It means the tracker's plans have changed. He's made a decision that will lead him to the mirror room, and the dark room."
"And those could be anywhere?" I asked nervously, afraid that in her vision Alice might have seen a sign that read 'HE'S IN PHOENIX' somewhere in the rooms.
"Yes." Well, that was a relief.
"But we do know that he won't be in the mountains north of Washington, being hunted. He'll elude them." Alice's voice was bleak, she did not want to admit the truth to me or to herself.
"We should call."
But then the phone rang.
Alice was across the room before I could lift my head to look at it. She pushed the button and held the phone to her ear, but she didn't speak first.
"Carlisle," she stated, as if telling the speaker his own identity. She didn't seemed surprised or relieved that he was calling – even though my heart stuttered dangerously.
"Yes," she said, glancing at me. She listened again. "I just saw him," she said before describing the two rooms she had seen. "Whatever made him get on that plane...it was leading him to those rooms." She paused. "Yes," Alice said into the phone. "Liv?"
She held the phone out to me. I ran to it, stumbling on the way and catching the phone as I fell onto the couch.
"Edward?"
"Vivienne," Edward said.
"Oh thank God! We can never do this again-"
"This was your idea, Vivienne," he sounded like that fact hurt him.
"I don't care, I've been so scared!"
"You don't have anything to be afraid of, Alice and Jasper will take good care of you." I wanted to interrupt him, but I couldn't bring myself to cut off is beautiful honey coated voice. When he was done for a few seconds, I continued.
"I'm not scared of them, Edward. I'm worried for you – all of you."
"Liv," he sighed in frustration, "I told you not to worry about anything but yourself."
"Where are you?"
"We're outside of Vancouver. I'm so sorry – we lost him. He seems suspicious of us – he's careful to stay just far enough away that I can't hear what he's thinking. But he's gone now – it looks like he got on a plane. We think he's heading back to Forks to start over." I could hear Alice filling in Jasper behind me, her quick words blurring together in a hum as I tried to comprehend everything I was being told.
"I know, Alice saw where he was headed."
"You don't have to worry, though. He won't find anything to lead him to you. You just have to stay there and wait till we find him again."
"If I'm not allowed to worry about you, you need to do it for me – stop being so carefree about this. Where are Esme and Rosalie?" I asked nervously.
"The female has been in town. She went to the house, but Charlie was at work. She hasn't gone near him, so don't be afraid. He's safe with Esme and Rosalie watching."
"And what has she been up to?" I asked as if I were asking about my next door neighbour. His voice grew darker even as he spoke of her.
"Probably trying to pick up the trail. She's been all through the town during the night. Rosalie traced her through the airport, all the roads around town, the school...she's digging, Liv, but there's nothing to find."
"And you're sure she won't be able to touch dad?"
"Yes, Esme won't let him out of her sight. And we'll be there soon. If the tracker gets anywhere near Forks, we'll have him."
"Just come get me, I don't like that you're not here." I tried to be quiet, I didn't like that Alice and Jasper would hear it and think that I was either insulting them or that I was being a baby.
"I know, Vivienne. Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self away with you."
"The useless half," I muttered. He grumbled a warning, so I changed it. "Just come get me, Edward. Please."
"Soon, as soon as I possibly can. I will make you safe first." His voice was hard.
"Remember the kibbles and bits," I reminded him with a sad smile, he actually managed to laugh, albeit tightly.
"Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through, I love you?"
"Or something like that," I corrected, not able to stand hearing the L-bomb, particularly if he wasn't here to try to make me believe it. He sighed, I could tell my comment hurt him.
"I'll come for you soon."
"You'd better."
As soon as the phone went dead, I could feel the reality that he was not here with me again. I could feel how, even with the two vampires that were here, vulnerable I was once again.
I turned to give the phone back to Alice and found her and Jasper bent over the cheap coffee table, where Alice was sketching on a piece of small hotel stationery. I leaned over the back of the couch, glancing over her shoulder.
She was drawing a room: long, rectangular, with a thinner, square section at the back that looked like it lead to doors. The wooden planks that made up the floor stretched lengthwise across the room. Down the walls were lines denoting the breaks in the mirrors. And then, wrapping around the walls, waist high, a long band. The band Alice said was gold.
"Arie always hated that bar," I said gravely, looking at the band that wrapped around the room with a frown. The two snapped their heads up to looked at me, surprised.
"Do you know this room?" Jasper's voice sounded calm, but I knew exactly what he was asking – yet I couldn't make myself believe that what I was thinking was true. Alice bent her head to her work, her hand flying across the page now, the shape of an emergency exit taking shape against the back wall. And the fire bell – ah, yes, she drew it right beneath the clock where Bianca and Leslie had once played with it in seventh grade until it wouldn't shut off. We had been forced to dance to the sound of he fire alarm as a recital was only a week away at the time.
"It's my old school. This is Dance Studio B, the one where all of us not-so-talented dancers went. Dance Studio A was right beside it, it had the better ballet bar, one that didn't give you as many splinters." I touched the page where the bar stretched around the mirrors. "There are three doors there, boys dressing rooms, girls dressing rooms, and this," I pointed to the left corner, "was the examination room. They would film our dances and exams and play them back to us so that we could all critique each other. It was cruel."
Alice and Jasper were staring at me.
"You're absolutely sure?" Jasper asked, still calm.
"Of course, I started this school in third grade and went up until this year." I traced my finger along the ballet bar set against the mirrors. "This is here Arie and I became friends, when she pulled the sliver from my palm."
"Would you have any reason to go there now?" Alice asked steadily, her tone resembling a metronome. I knew what she was asking, I knew what she was implying and yet, I couldn't make myself believe it.
"It's spring break, no one I would want to visit is there." I thought aloud. "And now is not really the time to show you around my old hunting grounds – sorry, no pun intended."
"So there's no way it could be connected with you?" Alice asked intently, not smiling or frowning at my jibe.
"Not really anything present, just in the past."
"Where was this school you went to?" Jasper asked in a casual voice.
"A few streets down from Arie's house, which was only three side streets away from mine. We had a path that-"
"Here in Phoenix, then?" Jasper interrupted, his voice was still casual as if he knew how I tended to rant and simply cut me off to cut off my train of thought, not because he was terrified. Which it seemed like he was.
"Yes," I whispered. "I told you, just around the..."
I stopped, realizing what it meant when I thought of that final sentence. Who cared how close it was to me, I had no reason to go there…but it was, as I had said, a few streets down from Arie's house…
"Alice, is it safe to use this?" I had almost crushed the phone with my bruised hand and she seemed to see the urgency in my eyes.
"Yes," she reassured me. "The number would just trace back to Washington."
"I'm going to make a few calls and wrack up your phone bill."
"To who?"
"Arie first," I said quickly, dialling the number I'd memorized so many years ago. "Then my family, then Asher if Arie won't pick up."
"Don't tell them where you are," Alice said quickly. I didn't push the call button as I looked at her, torn, I needed Arie to know not to trust anyone and to stay away from that school. "And I thought that your parents were with Katie in New York?"
"They are – but I want to tell them not to rush back if they get a call from dad. Asher can talk to any of my other friends if Arie doesn't answer, as for her – I need to warn Arie myself." My voice cracked at the mere thought of having Arie involved in all of this. She would never live in this world of the supernatural, I would never let it happen – even though she would kill me if she ever found that out.
"Jasper?" Alice asked.
He thought about it, it looked like he was hesitating only because he saw the panic in my eyes. He knew what it was like to want to keep someone safe, he had Alice by his side right now. "I don't think there's any way it could hurt – be sure you don't say where you are, of course."
I pressed the green call button and it didn't ring twice before the phone was picked up.
"What the hell do you want?" Arie's voice, angry and irritated, was one of the most lovely sounds I'd ever heard. She was irritated because I was calling her but as I breathed a sigh of relief I was so glad that I did.
"Oh thank god, bunt-cake."
"Hard-head?" She gasped. "What the hell were you thinking, telling your dad off and then driving home? Where the hell are you? He's calling me every hour to see if you've called me yet – and you hadn't! – and oh my god, how could you have not called me for over a day after you made some sort of decision like that? We're all going insane. I'll have you know that-"
"Arie, stop."
"Don't tell me to stop!" She screeched. "You scared the living piss out of me, young lady and if I had my way I would beat you with a rubber bat. A – rubber – bat, Vivienne! Oh when you get back here-"
"Arielle, stop!" I yelled. Arie stopped immediately, knowing that what I was saying was very important if I called her by her full name – she hated that her mother had named her after the little mermaid. I could just imagine what Jasper and Alice were thinking as they listened to the conversation.
"Vivienne Isabella Swan, what are you not telling me?"
"Something's happened," I told her, throwing a glance towards Alice and Jasper, who were tense with worry over what I was going to say. "I can't tell you what's going on, but I need you to trust me. You need to stay away from downtown."
"I live downtown, hard-head. And what do you mean you can't tell me? What the hell is happening in Forks that has you lying to me? You've never lied to me before this. Ever."
"It's not a lie if I simply don't tell you," I informed. "I just need you to trust me. Arie, you're my best friend – I'd take a bullet for you, I need you to trust that I know what I'm doing."
"Does this have to do with Edwin?"
I closed my eyes, looking away from the harsh glare of Jasper's eyes. "No, this has to do with me. I did something stupid and now I need to live with that-" or not live at all. "And I need you to stay away from downtown."
Alice tapped her wrist, as if telling me that I was running out of time.
"Vivienne, if you need help, we'll help you."
"Not this time, Arie. You're my best friend," I reminded her in a whisper. "And I need you to promise me."
"But-"
"Promise me!" I ordered into the phone. She seemed shocked into silence for a moment.
"Fine! I promise."
"Thank you." I whispered. "I have to go. Tell everyone to stay away from downtown!"
And I hung up before I got to the point I wouldn't be able to. I gave myself a moment, a long, trembling moment before I opened the flip phone and dialled the next number. It rang six times and came onto the answering machine.
"Sorry, we're not able to come to the phone right now because our little prodigy has taken us to New York City! Leave a message and when we get back, we'll be able to call you."
The tone rang.
"Ma mere," I began, my voice shaking. I continued in French. "Please, please call me at this number-" I read the number Alice recited. "When you get this message. Don't go home, Arie called me and told me that Mrs Ruitts upstairs had some sort of accident and it's all crossed off with police tape. Before you freak out over what Dad said, please, please call me. I miss you, wish Katie luck and tell her that I'm sure she is doing amazing. Kiss Shawn."
I tried not to get teary eyed just at the idea that I may never be able to do those things myself.
"Au revoir."
And I hung up the phone.
I stood there with the phone in my hand for a long moment, a long, unhelpful moment where I let the depression of what just happened hit me. There was a moment, a very distinct moment, when the depression began to slip away and I was left with a numb feeling. Jasper, however, hadn't used his powers to get rid of whatever my reaction to this change of atmosphere would be. I shook my head angrily.
"I don't want to calm down!" I screamed at him, running away to the bedroom and being sure to slam the door behind me. I didn't want those cooling, calming tendrils to touch me – I didn't need him to be so ready to control me like that. Sometimes I wanted to be overcome with my emotions, sometimes I wanted to be able to know what my reactions were, because they were my reactions.
Neither Jasper or Alice followed me into the bedroom, like Alice had last time. I'm sure dealing with this came with years of patience with people like Rosalie – it was the only reason they should know how to handle someone so temperamental in comparison to their collected selves. But it took me having to grab my puffer to realize that I didn't feel Jasper's influence on me either – it was nice to know that out of all this, I had gained his respect.
A little different, isn't it? Luckily we are about to see many more of those differences in the next few chapters – Vivienne Swan and Bella Swan are very individual personalities; that's the only hint I'm giving you! To my reviewers:
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Thank you so much for reviewing, it is very touching. I am still getting very little response for this story so I will wait to see if the time writing it will be matched by the love of it and the want for it. Thank you very, very much!
chiriko1117: I'm glad that you took a chance and had enjoyed what you have read. I promise that things are definitely about to change from the plot points of SM, so I hope you stick around, thank you!
leftmysanityathome: Thank you very much, it's nice to know the point was not lost! All I wanted was for Bella to have some personality and if she couldn't do it herself, I'm glad Liv is living up to expectations :)
Angel of the Night Watchers: You are just amazing. You'll hear this on all the reviews that you get to read when you come back, but I'm excited to hear how it went! :)
BrokenYetDreaming: Hopefully you've enjoyed what you read, thank you for reviewing!
I'm glad that people are starting to voice interest in the story, hopefully that continues because I still can't tell whether or not a sequel would be worth writing for your enjoyment, or if I should use that time for my other stories. I have so many great ideas for the next story, I just can't tell if it would be well recieved.
Please REVIEW!
-Egypt