The next day I woke up and rolled over to check the clock, I knew I hadn't slept much and I was waiting for it to be nine o'clock so I could go back to the hospital again. Being at home was like torture I couldn't handle it but I knew sitting beside John wasn't any better either. It was eight thirty so I decided to get up and get dressed I wasn't waiting any longer, I rushed into the bathroom and quickly got ready.

Once I arrived back at the hospital I checked in at reception and headed towards John's room, I had done this before but this time wasn't any easier it was just as hard to walk into that room and see John lying there. I grabbed his hand as I sat down beside him.

"Hey baby." I cried. "Look I really need you to wake up, I can't live without you babe." He was motionless, I had been gone all night I thought at least something would change but nothing did and with the way doctors were speaking nothing was going to change for a long time.

I got up from my chair and walked around the bed fixing his blankets and messing with pillows I needed to do something, I couldn't sit there and cry anymore John would hate it if he found out that all I did was cry.

Suddenly the door swung open and Randy walked in, I froze. Randy was the last person I expected to see but I was glad he was here and John would have liked it too. He hesitated as he walked and stood on the opposite side of the bed from me. I half smiled and sat back down on the chair, he looked at John then back at me.

"Hey." I smiled.

"Hey." Randy sighed.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here." I said.

"I wasn't planning on coming." Randy replied.

"Look—"

"I didn't come here to listen to you telling me to forgive him." Randy interrupted.

"You still can't do it can you?" I sighed. "You can't just let it go. We both apologized for what happened, I didn't cheat on you and it wasn't John's fault."

"It was." Randy sighed.

"You know it wasn't. You know that I said no because it wasn't right, you just want to blame John because there isn't anyone else you can blame but yourself."

"Listen I'm leaving." Randy said.

"Yeah okay you run away on your best friend when he needs you. You might not like to admit it but you miss him just as much as he misses you." I cried.

"Whatever." Randy replied.

"You know, all he could talk about since we set a date for the wedding is how much he wanted you to be there. How much he wanted his best friend to understand and forgive him, even though he did nothing wrong."

"He didn't say that." Randy said as he turned around towards me.

"He did." I cried. "And you can't even be here for him or for me."

"For you? You want me to be here for you too? You left me Charlotte. I gave you everything, every little part of me and as soon as John came back into your life you jumped at the chance to get back with him. You threw the year we spent together back in my face and there was nothing I could do to stop you. How do you think that felt? To have the ground pulled out from underneath you, to have the love of your life tell you that she's still in love with your best friend. How do you think I felt then? But still I'm the bad guy, the guy that can't forgive someone for doing that to them, well sorry but I can't." Randy cried, I couldn't believe he was so upset it was such a long time ago but I could tell that what I did had really hurt him.

"Randy I'm sorry but I couldn't lie to you. I was in love with you yes, but I couldn't agree to marry someone when my feelings were so strong for John. You are an amazing guy when you're not being such an asshole but you have to let this go. John felt horrible for what happened and so do I but you have to be able to forgive too." I cried.

"I don't know if I can." Randy sighed.

"Well that's your fault then. If you want to be angry at us for the rest of our lives for telling you the truth go ahead but you're right you are the bad guy for not seeing what this is doing to John or all of your friends. Everyone just wants this all to go away so we can all spend time together but when Johns there you refuse to go. It's childish Randy and if you're half the man you claim you are, you would man up and forgive him and me already. We've apologized so many times but it's up to you to let it go man." I burst into tears and put my hand in my hands, I couldn't handle arguing with Randy about this again.

"Look I'm sorry." Randy said as he sat down beside me. "I should just forget about it but it's hard."

"I know." I replied. "And again I'm sorry."

"Let's just not talk about it right now. So how are you doing?" Randy asked.

"I'm doing okay. It's hard I have no idea what to do." I cried.

"I bet." Randy sighed. "He's going to be okay."

"Everyone says that." I sighed as I looked towards John. "I can't do this without him."

"You'll be fine." Randy replied.

"I won't, he can't leave me because I can't do this by myself I need him." I cried as I held my stomach.

"What do you mean?" Randy asked.

"What?" I quickly replied.

"You're pregnant." Randy shouted. "You are aren't you?" I froze I had nothing to say, I wasn't planning on telling anyone about my secret until I had told John but I still hadn't plucked up the courage to do that.

"Yeah." I sighed. "But you cannot tell anyone I haven't even told John yet."

"You haven't?" Randy asked as he stood up from the chair.

"I couldn't I was too scared." I cried. "I didn't want him to freak out."

"He would have been so happy, you're getting married." Randy laughed.

"It's hard, I just couldn't do it and now it's too late." I said. Randy stepped towards me and grabbed my hands he looked straight into my eyes.

"I know I haven't spoken to John since it all happened. But from the way he used to talk about you when I mentioned the dog tag he was insanely in love with you, he always was. John will be thrilled when you tell him about this." Randy said. "He'll be fine and everything will be okay, I know everyone is saying that to you but you know it's true." Randy opened the door walked out, leaving me alone with John again.

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