A Game of "I've Never"

"What are you doing?"

Blaise looked almost worried as he watched Ginny stand up and open one of the kitchen cupboards. Without answering his question she took out a bottle filled with golden liquid and placed it on the kitchen table before sitting down opposite him again.

"Is that Firewhiskey?"

"Sorry Bill..." Ginny muttered, still ignoring Blaise while she opened the bottle and poured some of the liquid into two glasses.

She told herself firmly that one day, soon enough, she'd grab the courage to tell her brother who had stolen his Firewhiskey and buy him a new bottle. Blaise still eyed her suspiciously.

"I don't think you should..."

"Why?" Ginny interrupted him, looking up for the first time since she'd left the table a minute earlier. "If I don't recall it wrong it's one of your favorites..."

She thought of that day back in December, when she'd talked to him at the Hog's Head. He'd had an entire bottle to himself and for some reason she got the feeling that he was one of those persons who could drink a lot without getting even the slightest drunk...

Blaise snorted slightly.

"Believe me, it is... But you're still not out of age..."

Ginny sighed heavily, rolling her eyes at him.

"Please... I will be seventeen in four months, that's not even half a year. And what are you, my babysitter?"

He opened his mouth to say something but she quickly continued:

"Besides, you're a slytherin. You're supposed to enjoy breaking the rules!"

"Not when I'm a guest in somebody else's house..." Blaise muttered.

For a second, Ginny remained speechless. Even though she'd had a couple of months to get used to this new side of Blaise Zabini, it still caught her off guard from time to time. Nobody would believe her if she told them that he, of all people, cared about being honest with Bill Weasley and his wife. She eyed him silently. It was as if he really had changed.

Or maybe she'd just never given him a chance to prove her wrong.

"Well..." she finally stated. "I'm a guest here as well"

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, but your brother lives here and he wants to keep you safe. I'm pretty sure he'd throw me out in a second if he caught me sitting here having liquor with his underage sister..."

"Cut the underage crap, will you?" Ginny hissed angrily and glared at him.

She would have enjoyed screaming, but she did not want to risk waking Bill and Fleur up. For some reason, it really bothered her the he kept reminding her of the fact that she was younger than he was. Like he considered her a child...

"And he couldn't throw you out because I wouldn't allow it"

As she realized what she'd just said she could feel her cheeks turning red and for a moment they just stared at each other, before Blaise looked away. Ginny reminded him:

"Anyway, we're leaving here tomorrow morning. Both of us"

It was true. She'd go to Aunt Muriel's and he'd apparate back to school. After having spent several days together they'd go separate ways. Again. And by the time she got back to Hogwarts...

Ginny grabbed her own glass firmly. She had to go through with this.

"Let's play a game"

He stared at her.

"A game?"

She dropped his gaze and pressed her lips together. What she was going to say almost hurt to just think about...

"Tomorrow everything will go back to the way it's supposed to be, which means we've got nothing to lose" she said quietly. "I've been doing some thinking and I... I want to get to know you. Now"

"By playing a game?"

Ginny nodded silently, staring down at the golden liquid inside her glass. She longed for the burning sensation in her throat... Just like on the day when she'd first talked to him.

"Do you want to know the rules?"

She didn't dare to look at him, for she was afraid of how he'd react to her words. What he'd say or if he might even stand up and leave...

"Sure"

She looked up at him, surprised. Of course that's what she'd hoped for him to say, but she hadn't expected it. Had he really heard what she said, that she wanted to get to know him? Was he really willing to open up?

They stared at each other for a short while before Ginny cleared her throat uncomfortably, looking away from him so she'd be able to concentrate while informing him of the game:

"It's quite simple, really... Ever heard of 'I've never'?"

Suddenly, Blaise began to smile as if he was enjoying some kind of private joke. He shook his head slowly.

"Ginny Weasley... I hadn't expected you to know how to play 'I've never'"

"Why not?" Ginny asked defiantly.

She didn't like the skepticism in his voice. Why would he consider her such an innocent and good girl? For some reason, she didn't want to be. And she didn't want him to think that she was.

"I've played it loads of times with the other girls in my year"

Blaise shrugged.

"You're just not the type... One would think you'd consider games like that pathetic"

"Who says I don't?" Ginny asked, raising her eyebrows at him. "But that doesn't stop me from wanting to play every now and then"

I'm not always the good girl.

He laughed silently, glancing down at his Firewhiskey.

"Have it your way, Weasley"

She rolled her eyes at the way he used her last name. Only a week ago, it would be nothing but natural for him to do so. But now...

"Do I want to know how you know how to play?"

Blaise smirked slightly and leaned backwards in his chair.

"Please..." he said, imitating her voice from earlier. "Like you said yourself, I'm a slytherin. I've played 'I've never' so many times through the years that I've lost count"

And here you complain about me having Firewhiskey before I'm out of age...

"So you're in?"

Ginny looked expectantly at him, he couldn't back out now... She wouldn't let him. Blaise locked his gaze with hers, his face expression unreadable.

"You start"

She remained silent, wondering what he might expect her to say. She'd never played this game with a boy before, let alone a slytherin... But then she came to think of the advide Madison had once given her:

Always start by finding out if the person you're playing against is planning to be honest with you or not.

"I've never lied while playing 'I've never'"

Blaise smiled before taking a small sip from his glass. Ginny looked at him seriously.

"How do I know you'll tell me the truth now?"

He raised one perfect eyebrow.

"Because this time I actually chose to play. If I had something to hide I could have just said no"

Ginny didn't say anything. He did have a point... Then, she took a sip from her own glass. Blaise laughed silently, shaking his head.

"I knew it..."

She rolled her eyes again, annoyed with his pleased face expression. They'd just started playing, but she already got the feeling that she might not know what she was getting herself into. Because he seemed to be good at this.

Perhaps too good.

"Your turn" she mumbled and it didn't take long before Blaise said, his voice dripping with humor:

"I've never taken someone I really despise to Hogsmeade"

Ginny glared at him, as he obviously waited for her to drink.

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"Oh I think you do" he said, voice low. "But I'll tell you something, I took Millicent Bulstrode back in fifth year so..."

"What?!"

Ginny had to cover her mouth with her hand to not laugh out loud and the grimaces Blaise made to show his disgust didn't exactly make it any easier...

"Why would you take her?!"

From what Ginny had seen and heard, Millicent Bulstrode was just as bad as Pansy and Daphne and she was everything but pretty...

"I lost a bet against Draco and Theo..." Blaise muttered, before taking a sip from his Firewhiskey.

Ginny grimaced and then copied his actions.

"Lucas McLaggen was a mistake..." she mumbled, avoiding eye contact with him.

She could feel Blaise looking at her, but he didn't say anything. She could never tell him why she'd taken McLaggen in the first place. That it was because she wanted to get back on him for kissing Daphne...

Because why would she want to do that, really?

Then, to break the tension and change the subject, she said:

"I've never wished I was put in a different house"

She waited. After what seemed like an eternity Blaise slowly raised his glass and swallowed some of the golden liquid, never dropping Ginny's gaze while doing so.

"What's the worst thing about being a slytherin?"

He was quiet for a short while, either pondering over his answer or debating with himself whether he should tell her or not. Eventually, he seemed to have made up his mind:

"People think they know exactly who you are and what you stand for, even though they've never even talked to you. I'd like to be in Ravenclaw for a day, and see what it's like when first years don't look horrified, turn around and walk away as soon as they see you coming"

Ginny didn't know how to respond to that.

It was one of the longest things she'd ever heard him say and it also gave her a new perspective of things. Having been a student at Hogwarts for the past six years she knew very well that the slytherins were considered mean or even dangerous by most other students but she'd never reflected upon how it actually affected them. And what it must feel like to always be considered an outsider, always being accused when something went wrong...

"I'm sorry" she mumbled, looking down. "I wish things were different..."

"But they're not"

His voice was somewhat cold. Hard. Ginny looked up at him, feeling almost afraid to meet his gaze. Afraid of what it might do to her. But before she had time to really reflect upon what the look in his eyes meant he told her:

"I've never stolen anything"

Ginny took a sip from her glass before asking him, her voice full of skepticism:

"Never?"

"Never"

Blaise looked right into her eyes and if he, against all odds, was lying he was the best liar GInny had ever met. He looked one hundred percent sincere. She furrowed.

"How come?"

"I don't know..." He shrugged. "I guess I always got the things I wanted, so I had no reason to"

Except his parents' love and respect...

One was dead and the other didn't seem to care very much about him. But then again, you could hardly steal those things...

Blaise's next words interrupted her thoughts:

"What did you ever steal? Nothing too valuable, I'm sure..."

"No, not really" Ginny shook her head. "Mostly my brother's broomsticks. I used to break into the old shed next to our house before they'd woken up to practice some flying... They'd never let me join whenever they played"

Just like when she'd told him about the time she'd watched her parents dance after they'd had a fight, he looked at her intently. His eyes shined with curiosity, as if that tiny detail of her childhood was something really fascinating.

For some stupid reason, Ginny could feel herself blush under his stare and therefore muttered:

"Okay, my turn... I've never seen a person die"

She could tell from the look on Blaise's face that that was not what he'd expected her to say. He opened his mouth, closed it again and then shielded his face by looking down. She furrowed at first, but then came to think of his father. He was dead. How could she be so stupid?

"I'm sorry" she said quickly. "You don't have to answer that..."

"No it's..."

But he drifted off. Ginny waited for him to say that it was fine, like he usually did whenever something unpleasant happened around him. Whenever he felt the need to act strong and unbothered. But this time, he didn't seem to be able to. Because it simply wasn't fine, losing someone like he had.

Some sort of warmth spread through her as she realized that this time, Blaise Zabini had actually been honest with her. He'd let down some of his walls by showing that even he was vulnerable in this sort of situations. He drank.

As soon as he'd put the glass down he asked:

"I thought you were there that night when Sirius Black died?"

It was obvious that he wanted to change the subject and no longer be the center of attention. Ginny couldn't blame him.

"Yeah, I was... But I had my back facing him, Harry and Bellatrix. And when I turned back around he was already..."

Now she was the one who wasn't able to finish her sentence. She'd never forget the look on Harry's face. The sting in her heart when she realized that Sirius was gone. Forever. Blaise soon brought her back to reality.

"You don't have to answer that, either"

Ginny nodded her thanks and they both fell silent.

"I've never let a secret slip"

Without hesitating, she drank from her glass while Blaise watched her carefully.

"My own secrets count, right?"

He furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

Ginny swallowed. Even though it had been five years and even though it sometimes felt as if it hadn't even happened, she avoided talking about Tom Riddle and his diary whenever she could help it. The bare thought of him, and the things he convinced her to do, made her feel sick and frightened.

But Blaise obviously had no idea what she was talking about, and so she knew that she had no choice. After all, she was the one who had suggested playing this game in the first place.

"Dumbledore was kind enough to keep it a secret, but V... I mean You-Know-Who didn't open the Chamber of Secrets on his own"

Blaise opened and closed his mouth several times and still looked as if he didn't understand what she was trying to say.

"Are you saying that..."

"That I opened the chamber? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying" Ginny replied.

She sounded calm on her voice but her heart was pounding furiously inside her chest.

What if he'd hate her now? What if he wouldn't believe her when she said that Tom Riddle made her do all of it?

While absentmindedly running her fingers over her glass of Firewhiskey she told him:

"Lucius Malfoy slipped Tom Riddle's diary into my cauldron at Flourish and Blotts before the school year started. And then I... I started writing in it, telling him all of my secrets without even realizing what I was doing"

She looked up at Blaise.

"You probably think I was really stupid to..."

"You were eleven years old" he interrupted her. "Anyone would have been fooled by You-Know-Who at that age. It's a miracle you even survived"

Of course, people had told Ginny all this before. And yet she'd never believed in it like she did now. Suddenly, she was one hundred per cent sure that Blaise was right. It was not her fault. Any of it. She was just a child when it happened.

"I would probably be dead now..." she said quietly. "... if it weren't for Harry"

Another silence. The mention of Harry's name didn't cause Blaise to flinch, grimace or even roll his eyes. And yet Ginny could tell that he didn't like it.

"So I know I can trust you then?" She smiled slightly. "You're good at keeping secrets?"

He smiled back.

"Yes. At least so I've heard"

Ginny concentrated hard, thinking about what to ask him next. She wanted to know if he was as hard and cold as he often seemed. If he could always handle whatever problem he had to face and if he never felt like he'd really messed up. If he had any real weaknesses.

"I've never done something, on purpose, that I really regret"

She focused on Blaise's face expression as she'd finished speaking. He grabbed his glass, brought it to his mouth and took a big sip. Did that mean that he'd done something really, really stupid? Something unforgivable?

"Please, enlighten me"

There was humor in Ginny's voice but she was also afraid. Did she really want to know what he might tell her? Would it change her opinion of him?

You said that you wanted to get to know him. This is him granting your wish.

"Believe it or not, I regret being so selfish. I regret having pretended to care when I really didn't. There's a reason why Pansy used to be so... obsessed with me before Daphne came into the picture"

He looked almost sick as he spoke and anyone could tell that this was not something he was proud of. Ginny froze in her seat, unable to say anything. For a split second she felt... empty. Because she had a feeling what he was about to say.

You chose to know this.

"I spent a lot of time with her and lied about wanting her as my girlfriend back in sixth year, simply because I was bored. She was like... a toy to me. And once I realized that it was all wrong I was too proud to apologize, so I invited Daphne to Slughorn's Christmas Party to make Pansy realize that I wasn't interested"

Blaise voice was so low she had to lean slightly forward to make sure she didn't miss anything. After a short pause he continued:

"I used them both. And I really have no one but myself to blame for the way they're acting today. Towards you and everybody else"

Ginny couldn't bring herself to say anything. But he kept looking her, and his eyes told her that he wanted a reaction. Something. Anything.

She knew this shouldn't have come as a shock to her. Because of course she'd heard people talk. She'd heard them say that Blaise was every girl's dream and that he used them for his own pleasure. But hearing it from him was different. After this she couldn't keep telling herself that it was all rumours.

How could Daphne and Pansy even be friends after all this? Surely they must have talked to each other about it at some point... And were they really that stupid?

Are you that stupid?

There was something about him that scared her. Maybe the two Slytherin girls had felt it, too. It seemed impossible to fully hate him, or even stay away for good.

His next words almost made her jump:

"So I guess I'll go next. I've never been in love"

Ginny looked up at him and for a moment she seemed to be falling into his dark eyes. Then she emptied her glass. He still had his fingers around his.

But he didn't bring it to his mouth.

How do you make a time line haha

It was now April the first. One would therefore name the current season "spring" and Ginny had expected the weather to get warmer and the sun to shine more often. But right now, it might as well be November. It was rainy, windy and above all really cold. She pulled her cloak closer around herself and did her best to hide her smile by burying her face in her scarf. For despite the bad weather, she couldn't help feeling happy when watching the scene in front of her.

Only a couple of meters away from Shell Cottage she, Blaise, Bill and Fleur were standing. They were all dressed warmly, prepared for travelling, and her brother and Blaise were now shaking hands. They both wore serious and somewhat uncomfortable looking face expressions, but there was no malice or hatred. It all made Ginny think of Dumbledore.

He would have been so happy to see this.

But what would other people say, if they saw Blaise Zabini shaking hands with a Weasley? Ginny pushed the thought out of her mind just in time to hear Bill say:

"I must admit that I did the right thing, trusting Ginny. It's been... interesting having you here, Zabini"

"It's been interesting being here"

Ginny's heart skipped a beat as Blaise locked his gaze with hers for a split second, before continuing:

"And thank you. For everything"

Bill simply nodded but to Ginny's great surprise Fleur put her hand on Blaise's shoulder, smiling widely:

"It 'az been a pleasure. Take care of yourzelf"

"I will"

They all fell silent and Ginny and Blaise looked at each other again. She already knew that no words would be enough, so where to start? There were things she wanted to say, but there was no way she'd do it in front of her brother and sister-in-law. Just as that thought crossed Ginny's mind, Fleur cleared her throat and grabbed her husband's arm firmly.

"Well... We still 'ave zome thingz we 'ave to pack down before leaving"

This caused Bill to finally look away from Ginny and Blaise and the suspicious look on his face was replaced with a surprised and confused one as he asked his wife:

"We do? I thought..."

"Well, you thought wrong. Come on"

Ginny gave Fleur a brief smile before the latter practically dragged Bill back into the house. It was quite obvious who Ron had gotten this side of his personality from...

Bill's point of view

"Bill Weazley, step away from that window right now!" Fleur exclaimed angrily and, once again, grabbed her husband's arm and pulled in it. "Give them zome space for god's zake!"

She managed to make him move and forced him to sit down on one of the chairs standing by the kitchen table. However, he still tried his best to keep an eye on Ginny and Blaise through the window and muttered to himself:

"What? I have to make sure they're not doing anything they shouldn't..."

Fleur couldn't help herself; she laughed in disbelief while sitting down opposite her husband and placing her hand over his. She squeezed it gently as he turned to look at her. She smiled.

"Don't you remember what it waz like, being a teenager?"

"That's exactly my point" Bill muttered darkly. "Teenagers just... don't always think clear! Who knows what Zabini might convince her into doing..."

"Minutez ago you zaid that Ginny 'ad been right when zaying that he could be trusted!"

"Well, yeah! But he's still..."

But his wife's smile, and the sincere look of affection in her clear blue eyes, made it impossible for Bill to finish his sentence. Even now, after almost a year of marriage, her beauty still caught him off guard every single day. What had he done to deserve her?

"Bill..." she said, somehow making him feel perfectly calm again. "They are just zaying goodbye. Let them 'ave this moment. They deserve it"

Blaise's point of view

When Fleur had first convinced Bill to go back inside, Blaise had been relieved since that meant that he could talk to Ginny alone and be honest with her. But then again, was it possible to be honest when you didn't even know what you really wanted? And now that they were alone, he had no idea where to start...

"It's been nice having you here"

Nothing in her light brown eyes told him that she was lying or that there was something she was not telling him. It was all there, in that simple sentence. She really had enjoyed spending time with him, and the feeling was mutual.

"You saved my life"

They'd already discussed this, but now it struck him harder than ever before. Ginny Weasley, the bloodtraitor and gryffindor that he was supposed to hate and look down on, was the reason he was still alive. That his mother's husband hadn't finished him off. Ginny Weasley had taken him in, convinced her brother to let him stay and given him food and protection.

After all this, he practically owned Ginny Weasley everything. And yet there was nothing he could give her.

"You saved mine first"

They were standing close. Too close. Again. Why did it always happen?

For some reason, Blaise felt like he was being watched and when turning his head to glance back at Shell Cottage he could see Fleur dragging her husband away from the window again. Feeling really uncomfortable, and to create some sort of distance between himself and Ginny, he mumbled:

"So... I guess I'll never be able to find this place again"

Ginny looked a bit surprised by his words but then just shook her head slowly.

"No... I guess not"

They both fell silent, thinking about today's earlier events:

"Are you sure about this?" Blaise muttered, trying his best to hide the fact that he was feeling slightly scared.

Until now, he'd never done or said anything that would make Bill and Fleur think that he didn't trust them. However, it was a completely different matter now that his brain and memory were involved...

Bill sighed yet again.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I do this at work at least once a week! People are really paranoid when it comes to their money at Gringotts these days. Whenever they've entered their vault accompanied by another witch or wizard they don't want that person to remember which number the vault had"

"Well, this time you're not only going to make me forget a number are you?" Blaise asked, not feeling even the slighest reassured by Ginny's brother's words. "This is a whole house, a location..."

"It works the same way, Zabini. Trust me"

And luckily for Blaise, Bill hadn't given him a reason to regret his decision to come to Shell Cottage in the first place. He knew that as soon as he disapparated he wouldn't be able to find his way back here, but everything else was still there.

He remembered all his conversations with Ginny, the game of "I've never" they'd played the night before and the almost-kiss down by the beach... Though he had almost wished for the memory charm to make him forget that...

She interrupted his thoughts:

"I'll see you around"

He froze. She'd used those exact words, when he'd left her at the Hog's Head that afternoon, all those months ago. It seemed like a life time and yet only a few minutes had passed since. Back then it had just been empty words, but now they actually meant something. They involved both hope and fear. Hope that one day, things would change. And fear that they never would.

I'll see you around.

It seemed that ever since yesterday, they both agreed on that it was better to keep a safe distance. And so they didn't hug, but simply said goodbye to each other. She turned around to head back inside and Blaise was happy that he didn't have to look into her eyes while disapparating. That would definitely have made it harder to stay focused...

But before she'd started walking back towards the house he remembered something, and said:

"Ginny"

She stopped and he silently prayed that she'd turn around. After what seemed like an eternity, she did. They both waited. Blaise swallowed.

"You said yesterday that you wish things were different"

She looked at him, nodding slightly. He took a deep breath. This was it. Admitting his weakness. Some sort of defeat.

"So do I"

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