=== Be Karkat Vantas

It's definitely easy to decide on dinner when we both like the same kind of food.

After about three seconds of deliberation, we end up at a Chinese restaurant. Egbert seems completely focused on holding my hand, grinning like the fucking idiot he is. It's actually slightly endearing, seeing this kid so completely infatuated with these little things.

I don't have the heart to make him let go so we can actually eat, so the meal is basically a study in trying to use one hand to eat goddamn Chinese food. It's harder than it sounds.

I guess I don't mind; as fucking annoying as it is to be eating like this, the absolute bliss on John's face is almost enough.

Almost.

Egbert decided to sit next to me in this goddamn booth, snuggling up to me like a fucking puppy or someshit. He seems kind of shy, though, so at some point, I just sigh, wrap my arms around his shoulders- carefully avoiding the bandages- and draw him in close. "Did you or did you not want to fucking be close to me?"

I can feel the tension in his shoulders release slightly. "Yeah, I guess. Thanks."

We end up in the weirdest fucking eating position ever- I'm sitting cross-legged on the booth, while he's actually laying down with his head on one of my knees, his own knees the only thing visible above the table. It seems strange as fuck, but apparently it's more comfortable for him to sit that way past his bandages.

He keeps shoving food at me, wanting me to try literally everything he has and forcing my own food at me. Really, I don't know what the goddamn fuck he's doing, but he's insistent, so I take it. I told him I'd do this like a real date, and I intend to keep that promise.

And I'm enjoying that way too much.

As much as it almost terrified me to admit it, I like this. John's got this innocence, this happiness to him that I can't help but love. In the dark storm clouds that are my life, he's somehow slipped in and given me this tiny bit of sunshine. Where Terezi drags me out of the storm and beats me over the head with daylight, John's just kind of laid it gently in my hands.

And I don't know what to do with it.

The boy's jabbering on, saying something about whatever the fuck, and I bend down and kiss his forehead brusquely, making a shaky attempt to reach out and connect, if only for the night. He bites on a word surprisedly, staring up at me with wide eyes. "Whoa, what was that?"

"Is that not what you fucking do on a date?" I scowl, getting slightly defensive this far out of my comfort zone. "Because if it isn't, I don't fucking know what I've been doing wrong with every date ever."

He blushes a light tint of crimson, then stretches up to place his own kiss on my cheek. "No, it's fine. Just kind of… unexpected."

I nod, refusing to drop the scowl. "Whatever the fuck you say."

"I do say," he giggles slightly. "Thanks."

"You're fucking welcome."

We slip back into conversation, but my thoughts are more of a muffled cry for help, an inability to understand this, to understand myself.

Only one night.

=== Be John Egbert

I really do like how close Karkat is letting me. Since I realized that most people aren't as comfortable with touch as I am, I've tried to draw back, and the fact that he's reaching out and letting me close is great. I need that, and getting it from this boy I like so much is pretty much completely amazing.

After I make sure he eats, assuaging my concern over how unhealthily thin he looks, we go off to the next stop on our date. He's behaving… oddly. I don't even know how, but there's something different behind the scowls and curses. Something vaguely uncertain and shaky, not at all like Karkat.

I brush it away, though, convincing myself that I'm just projecting my own unsure emotions.

We pull up to the bowling alley and get out, joining hands again as we walk up to the building. In my continued attempts to make him smile, I peck a kiss on his cheek, which elicits another of those oddly uncertain scowls.

He's going to smile before this is over, I swear.

We find a group to play with, bowling being much more fun with seven people than with two, and get to work with shoes and bowling balls.

At this point, we realize that bandages and heavy bowling balls don't work together in any way. Karkat suggests leaving and finding something else to do, but I really couldn't care less. Letting him play and watching is just as much fun, for me, as playing the game myself. This is less for the game and more for the date.

Any time he's just sitting and waiting, we hold hands. I cautiously snuggle up to him, encouraged when he wraps an arm around me too. He's absolutely terrible at bowling, but there's a hidden light in his eyes that shows me he enjoys it.

At some point, he manages a strike and my enthusiastic tackle-hug actually elicits a slight smile. It widens the smile on my own face, prompting a kiss on the cheek that I'm not even shy about. Hugs, kisses, physical touch in general is usually how I respond to emotion, and Karkat's shown me that he's okay with that.

A good few games pass, with what I deem the proper amount of laughing and fun, but it's getting late. Finally, he turns to me with a sigh. "I'm kind of super fucking exhausted."

With a yawn, I have to admit the same thing. "Yeah, it's getting late… we should probably get home."

"Well, come on, shitbiscuit." He tugs me out, discarding shoes and bowling ball at the front, and we walk out to the car. It's started raining, a massive amount of water pouring down heavily from dark clouds and drenching us. It results in my having a fit of giggles, which is met by a generous smile from Karkat.

When we make it into the car, we're both pretty damn wet, but Karkat doesn't even seem to notice, instead just offering me his hand again and driving off. The whole way home, my smile doesn't falter, almost getting wider as I reflect on the happiness of the night.

By the time we're at my apartment, the rain's so thick I can barely see through it, so I instruct Karkat to pull into the parking garage. "Come on," I all but plead, "come meet my dad and my sister!"

He replies with a scowl, but parks and gets out with me, futilely trying to shield the both of us from the rain. All but running to the apartment, we end up dripping wet on the welcome mat, wringing out clothing in an attempt not to get water on the carpet inside.

Casey actually opens the door, squealing and halfway hiding at the sight of Karkat. Wide green eyes, somewhat hidden by her messy hair, stare widely at him. Pulling Karkat along with me, I walk inside, swinging the little girl into my arms, slightly awkward past the bandages. "Hi, Casey," I laugh, nuzzling noses with her. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Waiting for you," she giggles. Her eyes flick to Karkat curiously. "Who that?"

"His name's Karkat." The troll waves softly at her, an oddly shy gesture for him. "He's really nice."

"'Kat?" She reaches out to him. "Nice, 'Kat?"

He scowls lightly. "I'm not a goddamn cat."

"Language," I reprimand him gently. "She's four."

"Up, 'Kat," Casey insists, continuing to reach at him and wiggle in my arms.

With a slight laugh, I turn to him. "She wants you to hold her."

Almost more gently than I would've expected, he moves closer to me and plucks Casey out of my arms, letting her snuggle up warmly to him. He manages to place his hands correctly and cradle her to his chest, and the extremely sleepy little girl lazily sticks a thumb in her mouth, wraps an arm around his neck, and shuts her eyes tiredly. Within a minute, I'm watching my little sister sleep on Karkat's chest.

Damn. He knows what he's doing.

I give him an approving nod. "You've made a friend."

The gesture's met with a slight smile. "Yeah, I guess so."

My dad walks in and gives me a hug. "Hello, John." His bright blue gaze shifts softly to Karkat. "Hello, young man. I'm not sure we've met."

"Karkat Vantas," he supplies. "I would shake your hand, but mine are... somewhat occupied."

Dad just smiles. "No problem. Here, please come in."

We all walk into the living room, sitting down carefully so as not to disturb Casey. True to form, Dad has a lot of questions for Karkat; though I can tell he skirts some of them, I don't think he's lying outright on any. The whole time, too, he's rather polite in a way I didn't know Karkat could be.

Finally, after about twenty minutes, he sighs. "I really have to go."

I'm about to unwillingly agree with him, but then a harsh sound catches my ear and I shake my head. "Karkat, it's hailing out there. And raining so hard I doubt you'd be able to see."

"I don't really have any other option."

I shrug slightly. "Sleep here."

The suggestion seems to get a bit of thought before being shot down. "This is not a thing that dates include in my book, Egbert."

That elicits an unamused glare from me. "Not like that. Sleep on the damn couch if you want. I don't work like that; sex isn't a thing I want."

His only response is a confused glance, then a nod after a second's silence. "I'll sit on the couch, but I'm not sleeping."

Glad that he isn't making a big deal out of me, but concerned about the exhaustion in his eyes, I sigh. "Put Casey to bed and then we'll talk about it."

He disappears into Casey's room and my dad nods to me. "He's a good boy."

"I know." I smile softly toward Casey's room. "I kind of like him."

He just chuckles deeply at me.

Karkat comes out again sans Casey and scowls at me. "I'm not sleeping."

"You really think I'm letting you stay awake?" Though it takes a conscious effort, I keep my voice low and calm. "You're exhausted, Karkat."

"It's not important."

My dad laughs and stands up. "I'm off to bed, then." He gives me a quick hug. "I love you; see you tomorrow."

"Love you too, Dad." As he walks into his room, I face Karkat, arms crossed. "Dude, you need to sleep."

"Not fucking happening, but thanks."

Rolling my eyes, I walk into the kitchen, followed by Karkat. He pulls his damp phone out of his pocket and shuts it off before setting it on the table. "At least let me make you cocoa or something," I insist, looking him over. "And you're going to be super uncomfortable in those wet clothes all night; if you want, you can borrow some of mine or something."

He sighs resignedly. "Fine." As he disappears into my room, I go about making cocoa, with milk, sugar, cocoa powder, and cinnamon.

Oh, and also two sleeping pills.

Karkat comes out of my room basically drowning in my clothes. We're the same height, but my limbs are longer and he's thinner, adding up to a massive amount of excess clothing dripping from him. Though I giggle, he comes for hot chocolate anyway. I plant a small kiss on his nose, knowing that tomorrow we'll be back to normal anyway.

The effects of the pills kick in almost instantly, and he staggers to the couch, curling up against a pillow with a contented sigh. It's like his reluctance of the last few minutes is forgotten, melting into a pool of too-big clothes and contented purrs.

Holy shit, he really is a cat.

I pet the top of his head gently and kiss his forehead. "Goodnight," I whisper.