CHAPTER 20 – Swallowing-Impaired

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"We're lost, aren't we?"

"No, we're not lost. I just got turned around a bit."

"We're going in circles."

"Just be quiet and let me think!"

We had been crawling through the ventilation system for who knew how long. Revan had taken quite a few turns. I was careful to make mental notes of them all, but I admit I was having a hard time keeping up with him. Now we were stuck at a T-intersection, waiting for Revan to come to a decision.

"You can always sniff the air," I quipped. "If it smells foul then we know we don't want to go that route again."

"Bastila, did we go left or right at that last four-way junction?"

I paused for a moment, trying to remember. "Right, I think."

"Hmm, I thought so, too. All right. I think I know where we're at. The air is a bit warmer in this direction."

He started to crawl to the left. I followed, the muscles in my arms and stomach complaining. My neck still throbbed, but I pressed on. Hot air beat on my face, causing beads of sweat to drip down my brow. I could only imagine how much hotter it was for Revan, with him in front of me blocking most of the air current. The hot air served to soak our clothing with sweat, making us smell all the worse, like oven-roasted garbage.

After a few more turns, the shaft abruptly ended, opening into vast room. We crawled out, and found ourselves in a large, cylindrical shaft, stretching horizontally in both directions into the bowels of the ship. No doubt this was one of the central airways supplying warm air from the engine room to the rest of the ship, which would otherwise freeze to the absolute-zero temperature of the space outside. Unseen fans somewhere further down the shaft beat the air in a steady current, blowing strands of hair in my face. An array of ventilation shafts lined the walls, similar to what we had crawled out of. I sat down and leaned against the warm wall, exhausted. Revan did the same, and I was grateful he didn't push me onward. Nevertheless, it was not the most ideal place to rest, and soon I was feeling faint from the heat, my neck throbbing even worse.

Despite my near state of heat stroke, I was lost in thought. Something kept bothering me, but I couldn't pinpoint what. At last, I broke the silence. "Revan, do you think you can win?"

He sighed. At first, I thought he wasn't going to answer, but then he finally spoke. "He's a good swordsman. One of the best. It will be close, but...Yes, I can win."

"You don't sound certain."

"Nothing is certain in life. I'm sure he has a few tricks up his sleeve."

That nagging doubt returned to the forefront of my mind. It had something to do with Malak. Something didn't fit.

"Revan, why are you here? I mean, you still have the entire fleet at your command. Why even come aboard and risk your life? Why not just blow the ship up?"

"Isn't it obvious? He took something of mine. I wanted it back."

"Still..."

"He's publicly humiliated me. I intend to do the same to him. I won't have anyone calling me a coward."

"There's more to it than that, isn't there? Malak said-"

"I don't care what he said."

"Well maybe you should start."

His head snapped up. "And maybe you should mind your own business," he growled.

I met his glare, undeterred. "It is my business. The moment you took me prisoner, it became my business. The moment Malak abducted me, it became my business. And the moment you asked me to help you, it became my business."

I paused for a moment, fearing I had crossed a line with him. He merely held my gaze with a frown. Then I realized I didn't care anymore. Like a dam ready to burst, it all came out in a torrent, and suddenly I couldn't stop myself.

"You treat people like they're nothing but objects. We're just pawns in your game. Then you just throw us away as soon as you have no further use for us."

"Are you finished?"

"No, I'm not. I'm just getting started. Your honor guard. They were beyond loyal to you, and their only reward was a torturous death. Malak was once your friend. Look how you've treated him. You belittle him in public, you-"

"That's enough!" He leaned toward me dangerously. "You know nothing about me, or Malak. You don't have the right-"

"I do have the right. He's betraying you for a reason, and it's not because he's disloyal. It's because you are."

Revan stood up, towering over me, his fists clenched. For a moment I feared he might harm me, but he just stood there, fuming, the hot air current whipping his clothes.

"Malak told me to tell you something, Revan. I think it's important that you hear it." I paused, waiting for a reaction. Revan just remained standing, still glowering at me. I swallowed hard. "He said to tell you that Alek is dead."

His scowl turned to a puzzled expression.

I stood up, rubbing my sweaty neck. "There's more. He...he told me that you were attached to me. That it would be your undoing."

His expression turned back to a scowl.

"Revan?"

He held my gaze, but didn't respond.

I don't know why I asked the question I did next. I knew I didn't want to hear the answer. I still regret it. But for some reason I just had to know, Masters. "Revan, are you...attached...to me?"

What really horrified me was the fact that Revan didn't answer me. He just kept holding my gaze in stony silence.

And that's when it all finally made sense to me. He had wanted to keep me so close to him even after I had agreed to join him. He had been so personally angry at me for trying to escape. He had punished his honor guard so severely for allowing me to get as far as I had. He hadn't tortured me after coercing me to betray the Republic. He had simply tucked me to sleep like it had never happened. It all made sense. It all finally made sense. Only, I didn't think it possible that a Sith Lord could actually love someone. Certainly not that. No, whatever he felt would have been more of a clingy, possessive emotion—one that would keep me a prisoner forever, bound to a table and drugged. I would truly be the 'object' of his affection, and not a person with the freedom to respond how I wished. I wondered at what point his affection for me had begun. But, then again, I had always known. There was all his talk about my being a "kindred spirit." And he hadn't been flirting with me for nothing. I had merely thought it an amusing sport for him, but now I could see that it had become far more serious. I should have seen it coming. Rather, I did see it coming, but I had kept denying what was really going on. A shiver ran down my spine. The throbbing in my neck turned to a pounding.

"Revan," I said, my voice trembling, "you don't honestly think that I-I could ever..."

He continued to silently hold my gaze, the corner of his mouth slightly dropping into a deeper frown.

"I mean, you're a Sith Lord! And after all you've done...How could I..."

He stalked past me.

"Revan! Revan, wait!" I called after him. But it was no use. I got up and followed after him, making my away along the shaft. Revan halted at a maintenance door and was about to open it.

"Revan, please. I-" A stabbing pain speared through my neck, and I doubled over, my hands clutching the base of my skull. I felt two hands grip my shoulders.

"Revan, he did something to me," I gasped. "When I was on the bridge. He put something in my neck."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I'd forgotten all about it. But it's getting worse."

"Let me look at your neck." Revan moved behind me, his thumbs rubbing the sore area at the base of my skull. "I don't understand," he said. "Did he say what it was?"

"No. Wait. He said it was a...a welcoming gift...for you."

"I'm going to leave you here, all right? You're in no condition to-"

"No, I think I'm okay. It's starting to feel better."

"We're almost at the bridge. Can you stand?"

"Yes. Yes, I can stand." He helped me up, and I leaned against him for balance. I took a few uncertain steps. The ache in my neck was finally subsiding. I looked back at him and nodded in reassurance.

He still looked doubtful. "Are you sure you can make it?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "Give me my lightsaber back. I doubt you'll need it anyway. Just keep behind me."

I nodded again, rubbing my neck. I unclipped my borrowed lightsaber and handed it to him.

"Let's go," he said. He punched the control panel on the door. It slid open with a hiss. "Whatever he did to you, he will pay dearly for it," he growled, and stepped through.

.:.

The corridor was narrow, but thankfully clear of personnel. It led to a main passageway. And it was much, much cooler. Revan peered out into the passageway, making sure all was clear.

He spoke into his commlink. "HK, status report."

At first there was no reply, and then finally a burst of static broke through. "Statement: Master, I am at the elevator on the bridge level. I have dispatched anyone in your way on your own level. The rest have retreated to the bridge."

Revan turned to me. "All right," he whispered. "The elevator is not far from here. We'll take it to the bridge. Once there, I want you to stay with HK."

"No, I'm not leaving you."

"This is between me and Malak. HK can protect you. At least as long as I'm alive. If Malak wins, you won't be protected either way. But I want you out of harm's way."

"Revan, whatever Malak did to me...I think I'm already in harm's way."

"Yes, well, putting you in physical proximity of him isn't going to help matters. He wants to use you as a distraction, and I'm not about to let him do that."

I nodded.

"All right. Let's move out," he said.

We headed into the main passageway. Sure enough, Revan's droid had performed his duty impeccably. A few soldiers and Dark Jedi littered the floor here and there. We made a few turns and at last found ourselves at the elevator. Revan punched the controls to the side. He drew out both his lightsabers, readying himself. The elevator at last reached our level, its doors opening with a swoosh. Fortunately, no one was inside.

"After you," Revan said, clipping his lightsabers to his belt.

We entered, and Revan punched the controls for the bridge. As the elevator slowly rose, he began to riffle through his pockets. Finding what he was looking for, he pulled out a stim pack and injected himself. He gingerly touched the side of his arm, where a Dark Jedi had slashed it back in the hangar.

He winced. "That will have to wait a little longer," he muttered.

"Are you sure you're all right?" I asked.

The elevator came to a stop, the doors opening. Revan ignored my question, and stepped through. I followed, the doors closing behind me. The droid was waiting for us, his photoreceptors glowing in recognition of his master. The doors to the bridge were visible across the corridor.

"Statement: Master, I am pleased to see you have arrived unharmed. Disappointed statement: I see the Jedi meatbag has also arrived unharmed. Query: May I use her for target practice later?"

"No, HK," Revan said, rolling his eyes, albeit with a smirk. "I want you to protect her at all costs."

"Resignation: As you wish, master."

He turned to me. "Stay here," he said.

I was about to object, when the doors to the bridge opened. Both our heads whipped around to face this new development.

Out strode a sizable host of Dark Jedi, soldiers, and officers. I recognized their faces from my earlier time on the bridge, including the face of Admiral Karath. But it was the tall man in the center that drew my attention. It was none other than Darth Malak.

I could sense Revan reaching for his lightsabers at his belt without even having to look at him. The droid raised his rifle, poised to fire. Revan raised a hand—a lightsaber within its grip—silently signaling him to stand down.

"Whatever happens," Revan whispered to me, his eyes never leaving Malak's, "don't interfere."

I swallowed hard, and nodded.

The group halted in the center of the corridor. Malak separated himself from them, taking confident strides toward Revan.

"You've come," Malak said smoothly. "But I see you were trying to come alone. I much prefer it otherwise."

"You can dispense with the pleasantries, Malak," Revan spat. "You challenged me, and I accept. Whoever walks away from this fight will be the Dark Lord of the Sith." He peered past Malak at the gathered procession. "And you traitors had better pray it's Malak."

A few feet shuffled. Admiral Karath loosened his collar. But Malak...he just stood there, unperturbed.

"Revan," Malak said, "they are not the traitors here. You are. You have become weak. You have betrayed our strength and allowed the Republic to crush us. All out of sentiment for a Jedi girl."

"You leave her out of this," Revan hissed. "This is between you and me. No one else."

"Oh, I will leave her out of this. But can you?"

Malak charged, his duel-bladed lightsaber igniting in a flash of red. But Revan was ready. He charged forward, meeting him in the center of the corridor, his red and violet lightsabers hissing alive. The two clashed their weapons together, each pressing against the other in a show of strength, each unwilling to give ground. Finally, they both broke apart, breathing hard. They began circling each other for several moments, each studying the other, waiting to expose any weakness.

But I knew Revan. He was patient. But he always struck first. Malak, however, was not so patient. Which is why when he moved forward toward Revan to end the waiting game, Revan finally found the opening he had been waiting for. He charged, rushing in an arc toward Malak, who stumbled as he turned in mid-stride to face Revan. Malak swung his lightsaber up, deflecting a blow. Revan whirled with his other lightsaber to strike at Malak's side, but was easily deflected. The two parted again, and resumed their watchful circling.

Malak once again stepped forward, but it was a feint. Revan charged to meet him just as Malak stepped aside. It happened so fast, in a whirl of red. One of Revan's lightsabers flew to the wall. Revan jumped away, clenching his teeth and circling Malak with a slight limp in his leg where Malak had landed a blow. Malak would not give Revan room to retreat, however. He closed in on him. Revan desperately swung his remaining lightsaber to deflect a strike from Malak. Malak mercilessly drove him back toward me and the droid.

That's when Revan finally had enough of the lightsaber duel, and stepped it up. Lightning arced from his free hand.

A white, hot pain seared through my neck and into my skull. I doubled over in pain and confusion. I heard a woman's scream, and vaguely realized it was my own. Just as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. I found myself on my knees, and looked up to see the shocked face of Revan looking over his shoulder at me. His shocked expression quickly turned to one of dread. He snarled and whipped his head back toward Malak.

"What have you done to her?" he hissed, rage permeating his every word.

Smoke still rose from Malak's armor. His duel-bladed lightsaber was still drawn and ready, but was now visibly shaking. "You always want to win and have your way, Revan. Even at your friends' expense—at my expense! But no more. At last, you are going to lose no matter what you do. I won't die without taking that Jedi schutta with me."

Revan looked back over his shoulder at me. I could only read one thing in his eyes. A wordless "I'm sorry."

My heart stopped in my chest. I was a dead woman. He would sacrifice me to regain his power, without question. Battle Meditation or no, I was expendable. Just another casualty in his war. At least, that's what I thought as I stared back at him. Revan turned his head away, and I let my eyes drift back to Malak. He was sneering at us.

That was the last time he would ever sneer, and the last thing I would remember before I was engulfed in the most horrible pain I have ever felt.