As I entered our bedroom, I heard the shower turn on. I went to the bed, finished packing my clothes in my bag and then went into the bathroom. Bella was humming to herself and apparently did not hear my arrival. I watched her for a moment, in all of her beautiful glory, as she shampooed her hair - jealous of the very water that caressed her womanly form. Without haste, I shed my clothes and joined her.
She let out a little yelp as I wrapped my arms around her from behind. "Edward you startled me." She murmured as she ran her fingers through her tresses to ensure all of the soap was removed.
"Sorry love - didn't mean to - but couldn't allow you to enjoy this shower all on your own." I couldn't possibly see her wet and naked in our shower and not join her, she should know that by now. Plus, we had found the shower was the only place to have a private conversation in a house full of vampire ears.
She chuckled, "How very thoughtful of you," turning herself in my arms and throwing her arms around my neck. The water was beating on my back, warming my ever-frigid skin.
"Are you ready?" I inquired as I raised my hand to push the wet hair off of her forehead and then let it run the length of it to the middle of her back.
"I suppose as much as I will ever be. Part of me is excited, and part of me just wants to get this trip over with." She responded while putting her head against my chest as I tightened my hold on her, slowly running my hand up and down her back to soothe her.
"By this time tomorrow we will be in Forks." She let out let out a big sigh in response. "Everything is going to be fine, Alice assured us. Renee and Charlie won't suspect a thing. And when it is all over, I get to whisk you away." I felt her cheeks pull up again my chest, knowing she felt better.
"I feel bad for not being entirely excited to see them. I just want everything to go well so that I can leave them on a good note – so they aren't in more pain than they have to be."
The next morning we gathered our bags, got in the car and headed for the airport. The closest major one was a one-hour drive into Vermont. From there we took a flight to Newark, NJ and then to Seattle. Given the time change, we would be arriving in Forks in late afternoon. We were spending one night with Charlie and then from there heading to Jacksonville to see Renee and Phil. We were able to justify to her parents the short duration of out visits because we were packing them all into the few days that we had off from classes for Thanksgiving.
We parked the X5 in the airport-parking garage. I went around to the back to retrieve our bags and we made our way to the check in counter.
I handed the woman behind the counter our ticket information and identification.
"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen?" She said as she glanced up from her computer. "Yes," I responded.
"Are you heading to the west coast on your honeymoon?" She politely inquired as she typed information into her computer.
Bella answered, "No, we have been married for three years. We are going to visit family," smiling up at me.
My goodness they got married young - must have been high school sweethearts. I smiled at the woman's thoughts – that was one way of looking at it, even if it was my seventh time attending high school.
I sensed Bella's excitement and anxiety as she tightened her grip on my hand. It had been over three years since she had seen either of her parents, and a lot had changed, not just her becoming an immortal. She was a woman now, in every sense of the word, even if her looks did not reflect the years in which she had matured.
An hour later we boarded the plan, settling ourselves in our first class seats. My ever frugal wife attempted to talk me into sitting in coach, but I would not hear of it, especially considering how much time we were going to spend sitting on a plane over the next few days. Bella was firmly gripping my hand and staring out of the window as the stewardess came around to offer us beverages before take off.
"No, thank you. We are all set. We won't need a snack either." I replied politely to the woman.
I realized that it had been quite a while since I had been on a plane, the last time being our trip back from Italy. A cold shutter went down my spine at the memory, not knowing at that point if Bella could ever love me again.
"Are you remembering the last time we were on a plane?" She whispered gravely. Her eyes portraying that she was as well. I nodded in affirmation then pushed the dark memory away. There was no need for them.
"I thought I was the mind reader." I replied with a grin that I hoped touched my eyes.
I must have been successful because she smiled in response.
We arrived in Newark less than an hour later and had only a thirty-minute layover. Bella purchased a book for the longer leg of the trip. We boarded the plane and settled in. The aircraft was full to the brim with passengers.
I glanced over at Bella to gauge her comfort level with the constantly re-circulating air tainted with human heat and blood. She was perfectly at ease, her small hand in mine, her book on her lap, as she gazed out the window while we took off. The urban sprawl quickly disappearing underneath us as we gained altitude.
After a few minutes, a stewardess came walking quickly up the aisle from the back of the plane and into the front galley. In her wake she left a gust of air. When I caught the scent, it smelled lovely, like jasmine and lavender. In the same instant of my casual realization, Bella's hand tightened around mine and I felt her body stiffen next to me.
I turned to her. Her head was firmly pressed against the headrest, her eyes were squeezed closed and the muscles and tendons in her neck were strained.
"Bella, what is it? What's the matter?" I asked with a low, frantic, voice. I heard the ding of the seatbelt sign going off as the plane leveled off.
"The captain has turned off the seatbelt sign, please feel free to move about the cabin, but we ask when you are seated that your seatbelt is secured. Flight attendants will be around shortly to serve drinks and snacks." I heard over the loud speaker.
With almost inhuman speed, Bella had her seat belt off, climbed over my lap and headed to the back of the plane. I sensed she must have been going to the bathroom, which was odd - there was a bathroom just a few paces from us at the front of the plane. I quickly followed her, but did not want to raise too much attention as I walked the length, making it to the bathroom just as she was closing the door and locking it.
I put my hand on the bathroom door, my lips close as well, "Bella, are you okay? What is the matter?" I waited a moment but no answer from within. I sensed the flight attendant behind me in the galley growing concerned.
God I hope we don't have another sicky! I don't think I could bear to clean up two puke piles in one day. I'm glad she made it to the bathroom. Don't these people think to take motion sickness medicine?
I blocked out the woman's thoughts and turned my attention back to the door. "Bella!" I whispered with urgency in my voice. "Please talk to me." I felt myself getting desperate as the minutes ticketed by and still no response from the other side of the small, bi-folding door.
"Sir, why don't you take your seat? I am sure your wife will come out when she is feeling better." The flight attendant said to my back.
I turned to her, fighting back the fury that I felt rising up in me. I was not going to leave Bella until I knew what they hell was going on. I swallowed hard and attempted to compose my features as I turned to the woman.
"My wife has a medical condition and I may need to administer her medication. I would prefer to stay with her if that is okay?" My voice was smooth as silk, but I sensed my eyes were dark with menace as the woman shirked back slightly from me.
After a moment she register the seriousness of my tone, she replied, "Certainly sir. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to assist you."
"Thank you." I said as I turned my attention back to the door. The woman made her way up the aisle with the beverage cart. I looked over my shoulder, ensuring no one else was in close proximity. "Bella, if you don't open this door right now, I am going to force it open." I waited a minute for a response and had my hand on the latch to force it, when I felt it slide over under my fingertips.
I quickly slide my form inside the small bathroom, barely having enough room to close the door. As I turned around, Bella was crouched on the toilet with her legs pulled up to her chest, holding them tightly with her arms. I noticed her hair was in disarray as her eyes were cast to the floor, not acknowledging my presence. I saw to my right that there were fingerprint shaped dents in the small stainless-steel sink.
"Love, what is the matter?" I whispered frantically while I put my hands firmly on either side of her face, pulling her gaze to mine. What I saw shocked me. Her once beautiful amber eyes were black as coal and filled with both disbelief and agony. Her jaw was tense as she ground her razor sharp teeth together and she wasn't breathing. Her eyes were locked on mine, but she was in no way looking at me. I knew that look. I had felt that pain.
"Who was it?" I commanded of her. No words escaped her pursed lips; she just shook her head back and forth, her eyes still held a mixed look of shock and fear.
"Bella look at me! You can get through this. It will be okay. I would never let you do anything, harm anyone." I said as I gently shook her shoulders. Her fear-filled gaze was still looking right through me.
There was a knock at the door. "Ma'am is everything okay in there?" the familiar flight attendants voice called through the thin door.
She has been in there an awful long time…and where is that yummy husband of hers?
Bella didn't even register the noise. She had completely shut down her senses in the hopes of self-preservation.
I quietly cleared my throat and raised my voice an octave. "Yes, it's fine. I just need a few minutes, thank you." Okay, but you better not be leaving me with a disgusting mess to clean up. I do not get paid enough for the stuff I have to put up with. I heard her steps retreat back up the aisle.
I turned my attention back to Bella. She was in the same posture, but now her eyes were held tightly closed, her porcelain brow furrowed in concentration. The plane began to jostle around from turbulence. The captain came over the loud speaker asking everyone to return to his or her seats, we were going through a pocket of rough air.
"Bella, we are going to have to go sit down. They are not going allow us to stay in the lavatory for the rest of the flight." I said softly, trying to mask my panicked concern for her state. I heard the flight attendant coming to the back of the plane again to instruct us to take our seats.
Internally acknowledging she was not going to relent once she got back to us, I reached behind me and pushed the door open, while grabbing Bella's hands and pulling her to her feet. Her eyes opened to look at me with such disbelieving agony. "It's okay love, I've got you." I murmured as I picked her up in my arms and carried her back to our seats. I felt the gaze and thoughts of every passenger on us as Bella clung to me with such force that if I had been human she would have snapped my neck.
I swiftly placed Bella in her seat and fastened her seat belt. As I did her eyes grew wide as she looked over the top of the seat. I followed her vicious stare to the flight attendant in the front galley, one that I recalled smelled particularly floral, similar to Bella's human scent but not quite as sweet.
Bella hands were grasped so tightly on the armrest I feared that she would dislodge them from their seats. "Is that her?" I inquired as I leaned in to her ear. She simply nodded in affirmation, a low growl emanated from deep in her throat, her deadly glare still locked on its target with ever increasing hatred. I had never seen her like this, nor did I ever imagine I would have to.
I turned my head to look for another flight attendant. We had to move seats if there was any way that the woman and the rest of the passengers were going to survive until we landed in Seattle. I spotted one as she came up the aisle. I didn't dare leave Bella's side for fear of what she might do, so I waved my hand and mustered up my best smile.
"Yes sir, is your wife okay?" She said leaning her head towards me.
"Actually would it be possible for us to move to the back of the plane, possibly over the wing where there is less movement in the plane. Whoever is in the seats is welcome to come take our first class ones." I said while smiling and blowing a little of my sweet breath in her face.
The woman's eyes glazed over for a moment. I had almost forgotten how easily a human could be dazzled, especially a female. She blinked back to the present. "Let me go see what I can do. I will be right back." She said and turned on her heel to retreat down the aisle. I saw her approach a young couple that was sitting in the exit row just behind the wing. They looked up the aisle at me with disbelief and I nodded with a smile in return. They rose from their seats and grabbed their carry-ons out of the overhead compartments.
"Love, we are going to change seats." I said softly. Once again she did not acknowledge me. With some force I pulled her hand off of the armrest and held it in mine as I stood up. When I did she looked at me incredulously. I nodded in reassurance and she slowly stood up. I left our bags where they were and we walked down the aisle.
"Thank you for being so accommodating to my wife and me. She has a weak stomach and there was too much movement up there." I said while thumbing to the front of the plane. The young couple looked at us with shock and excitement, thanked us and moved up to first class. I pushed Bella into the row towards the window; thankfully only two of the three seats had been occupied, so there was no one we had to share it with. We sat down and I raised the armrest between us. I buckled her seatbelt and mine and then put my arm around her, drawing her head to my chest, attempting to form a protective cocoon around her. After a few minutes, I felt the tension in her body release slightly, but there was still a low rumbling in her chest.
"Just keep holding your breath love. You are doing great. You'll get through this." I whispered into her hair as I caressed her cheek. Her hand was clenched tightly on my shirt hem. Hours passed with her unmoving and unmovable. The cursed flight attendant only came back to our section of the plane once. I felt Bella tighten her grip on me as the gust of her luscious scent hit, Bella's tiny body shaking in dry sobs beneath me.
I was humming her lullaby while my mind was raced for both concern for Bella's sanity and the safety of the hundreds of passengers. How had this happened? I had asked Alice to check multiple times as to how the flight would go and every time she assured me it would be fine. Something must have changed last minute. Anger rose up in me as I felt helpless to remove Bella from this tortuous situation.
Of all of the times that she had to encounter her la tua cantante it had to be while stuck on a big metal tube thirty-thousand feet above the ground – no where to run. My Bella had so much strength and control and now to have to endure this. I barely survived my encounter and I had eighty years of practiced self-control, and I knew the grim outcome of Emmett's. I shuttered to think what would have happened if I hadn't been with her, not that I would have ever let that occur.
The flight attendant had come over a few times to ask if she was okay and I reassured her that she was simply not feeling well and would recover once we had landed. Sadly it was the truth. Finally, I started to feel the plane begin its descent into the Seattle airport. "We are almost there my love." I murmured into her hair. The plane touched down on the runway and jostled a bit. I looked up at the flight attendant and she seemed to understand my silent request to disembark the plane before any of the other passengers.
As we pulled into the gates, I lifted Bella, retrieved our bags and hurried past the flight attendants. Being very familiar with the Seattle airport, I knew of a private lounge we had access to being first class passengers.
"Bella, do you think you can walk?" I asked as I received stares from ever person that we passed by from my wife being protectively cradled in my arms. She nodded her head against my neck. I lowered her to the floor, but kept and arm tight around her and rushed her around the corner to the lounge. I showed the door attendant our tickets. Thankfully the room was practically empty save for a few businessmen. Sitting Bella on the black leather coach, I pulled out my cell phone before I joined her, pulling her again to my side. She hadn't taken a breath in over three hours and I'm certain she was in agony at this point.
"Bella, it is safe to breath now. There are almost no human around." I whispered reassuringly. She raised her head to appraise our surroundings and then looked at me with the most gust-wrenching gaze full of such confusion and pain. She was still clutching my shirt, as she took in a shallow breath, petrified of what might happen. I nodded my head in reassurance as she took in another deeper breath and relaxed her grip a little.
"I'm going to call Alice." I said as I started to get up from our seat.
"No, please don't leave me." She pleaded with her voice and eyes.
"Okay, it's okay. I won't go anywhere." I replied while stroking her hair. I flipped open my cell phone and pressed the on button. Once it was on, ten missed calls and two voicemails popped up on the screen – all were from Alice's phone. I connected to the voicemail.
"Edward." Her voice was frantic. "Don't get on the flight to Seattle! There has been a change in the flight attendants, someone was sick, and the one that replaces her – her blood will be too much for Bella to resist." Her lyrical voice was pained with apprehension. "I'm so sorry I didn't see it before. The decision was made last minute. Call me when you get this." I knew I couldn't blame Alice even though I wanted to. I wanted to blame someone, anyone, for putting my love through that. No one should ever have to endure that level of torture and yet she had – I could so nothing to protect her.
The second voicemail came on. "Edward I know you didn't get my last message and you are on the plane. I am seeing the most horrible visions as Bella changes her mind repeatedly between staying locked in the bathroom and taking the poor woman's life. I saw the two of you slaughtering the whole plane. It was just like Bella's first day at Forks." There was pure agony in Alice's voice. "But then I see you walking off with everyone else. Please call me as soon as you can." Her little voice pleading with me.
The horror struck me as Alice's words sunk to my core. Bella had been deciding whether to take the woman's life, to end her own suffering. My thoughts flew back to that day in Biology and my own unsettling plots to kill ever last human in the room just so I could partake of the sweetness of Bella's blood. The agony ran through me as if I could still feel the blacktop science desk crumbling under my granite fingertips.
Alice picked up before the first ring had registered. "Edward! Oh my God! Are you okay? What happened? I see you guys sitting in a lounge - so I assume Bella somehow resisted – but I can't see what happened." Alice was talking so fast that only my vampire hearing would be able to understand her.
"Calm down Alice. Everyone is fine. Bella is fine." I said while turning to look at her, but her eyes would not meet mine. I saw shame in her downcast gaze – a look I was very familiar with - having seen in it many times in my own reflection. She knew what I knew – that she had been plotting a mass murder in her thoughts. I pulled her closer to me, her body limp under my arm, kissing her head, hoping she understood that I did not blame her. No matter what her thoughts had been, her actions reflected only the most astonishing self-control.
"Edward how did she resist? That woman's blood was as strong for Bella as hers was to you." Disbelief colored my sisters voice.
"Bella was amazingly strong. I am very proud of her." I said as much to Alice as to my wife.
"I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner. It must have been a last minute decision. I am sorry you guys had to go through that. I can't imagine how hard it was on her." Alice's voice was soft now. My anger with her had long ago subsided when I received her voicemails.
Only Emmett and I could truly understand what Bella had endured to save that woman's life, the others had never come across someone whose blood sang to them as Bella's did to me.
"Alice it's okay. I know you couldn't have prevented this. I am going to go now."
"Okay Edward. Bye," and with that she disconnected the line. I turned my head slightly and pulled Bella away from my body. Her gaze remained fixed on the floor.
"Bella, love, please talk to me. I know that was dreadful, but you endured and now it is over. Now we can go see Charlie." I said in my most loving and tender voice.
"I'm not going to see Charlie or Renee." She replied with a flat voice.
"I know you are upset, but you were so excited to see you parents. Nothing has changed that."
"No Edward," her voice raised as her eyes met mine. There was fire in them, and not the kind I longed to see, but as if her soul was hardened. "I am not going to see them. I can't trust myself to be around them."
"Bella, it is very improbable that you will ever encounter another human that appeals that much to you ever again. In my eighty years, I have only come across one, you. Everyone but Emmett has never crossed paths with theirs," my voice pleading for her to understand the unlikelihood of it happening again.
"Well that may be true, but we know what happened when Emmett met his and I'm not taking the kind of chance with my parents, or anyone for that matter." She replied with an unfamiliar sternness in her once melodic voice.
"Bella, please," my voice barely a whisper, "how can I get you to understand that your parents are not in any danger? Carlisle and I would never have consented to the visit if we thought there was even a chance you would loose control." She released a big sigh as her shoulders slumped forward. She put her face in her delicate hands as I waited for her response.
After a few minutes, while still holding her gaze at the floor, "Edward, I have never believed in this life, not even when I though I could have killed that child, that I was a monster…until now." Her voice was barely audible even to my acute hearing. I cut her off. "You are not a monster!" I said with certainty.
"I wouldn't have stopped myself this time. I would have killed them all." Her eyes slowly turned up to look at me. The pain and self-loathing that I saw in them felt like a chainsaw tearing through me. It was my job to protect her from these torments – she was the one that finally got me to believe that I wasn't a monster – now she thinks she is one? No matter what my Bella was capable of, she would never be a monster.
I put my arm back around her shoulders and pulled her to my side, kissing the top of her head. Her stone-like body felt so frail under my hands. My stilled-heart felt as though it would tear in half from my inability to fix this, to make it all better, to give her the confidence she so rightly deserved.
"Bella you wouldn't have killed anyone." I said with confidence. "Yes, Alice saw your decisions wavering, but you wouldn't have done it. You would have locked yourself in that bathroom until the plane landed if you had to." I hesitated for a moment, cupping my hand under her chin to draw her eyes up to meet mine. They had finally returned to the warm amber that I so longed to see.
"But…it doesn't matter what could have happened. What matters is what did happen. And what I saw was an incredibly strong and brave woman who fought with everything she had to stay as pure and caring as she truly is. You battled with your inner-demon with strength that I have not seen in someone of our kind, especially at your age. If you and I had first met on a plane, and I had to endure being in a confided space with you for three hours, I would have surely taken yours and every other passengers' life." She said nothing but closed her eyes tight as dry, retching sobs shook her tiny frame.
After several minutes of silence, I kissed the top of her head. "I know what you are feeling right now love, believe me I do. More than anything I want to protect you from the evils of this life…but it has taken me a long time to realize that is not always possible, try as I may." Once again drawing her tormented gaze to mine, "you are stronger than you think and I have no doubt you will be fine with Charlie and Renee."
A thought had just occurred to me that might ease her worry. "Let me call Alice quick, I have an idea." She nodded weakly.
I drew out my cell phone again and hit send. "Edward. How is Bella?"
"She's okay. Upset with herself of course. Alice, can you check the weather in Forks for me tomorrow, I think we may delay our visit to Charlie for a day." I sensed a pause on the other end of the line as Alice searched out a vision.
"That should be fine and I think it is a good idea." She replied with sincerity.
"Thanks," as I disconnected the line.
"Bella, how about we drive to Forks tonight, we will get there before Charlie gets home from work. We can go over to the house and you will be able to tell from is scent, which saturates the house, that you will be fine around him. We'll stay in Port Angeles tonight then visit with him tomorrow. I will call him and tell him our flights got delayed and we are stuck in Newark."
She looked up at me with a conflicted expression. I could tell that she wanted to see him so desperately, but was incredibly unsure of herself. "You think that will work? Me just catching his scent without him being there?" I nodded at her. "Yes, and believe me when I say that Charlie, and Renee for that matter, smell nothing like that flight attendant. I can understand why you were particularly drawn to her." I finished with a slight smile, willing her to see that I didn't doubt her in any way.
As I gazed into the depths of her warm eyes, I saw my argument winning her over. After a few moments of contemplation she nodded her head in agreement, allowing the corners of her full lips to pull up slightly. A wave of relief passed through me and I felt the tension I was holding in my face release as my mouth formed her favorite grin.
"Thank you Edward." She whispered as I placed my other hand on her cheek, drawing her lips to mine, I placed a sweet kiss on her ruby red lips.
"Anything for you love."
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A/N: Thank you to everyone that has read and reviewed Hereafter - it blows me away to see how many hits my little story has gotten. I TRULY appreciate the support. Just a quick note that I am going to be on vacation next week and will not have internet access, therefore will not be updating for a few weeks. Sorry. But, I hope to write a few chapters while I am away...so hopefully when I do update it will be worth the wait. Thanks again! Newfoundlove.