Morticia has decided that as much as the two of them are content staying in their home, that Gomez must be brought to experience the outside world again. It's a quiet day, pleasantly dull. Morticia, Grandmama and Fester have all helped in dressing Gomez today – Grandmama has dug out his old clothes. The ones he wore before he decided to stick to his same best suit. She and the rest of the family have dressed him in his white shirt, his old sweater, his old ¾ length pants (with awkwardly fitted circulation tights underneath, to Gomez's embarrassment), very high socks and his regular black shoes. Over that, they place his coat on him, and drape a blanket on his lap. This may seem excessive, but they want to be careful he doesn't get too cold. Better to be too hot and have removable layers than be too cold and have nothing to warm up with.
Using head controls (thanks to his regaining that little bit of head movement), Gomez can drive the powerchair himself, but Morticia, worried about his rather lacklustre driving abilities, decides she'll push the chair (not a mean feat, it's heavy – then again, she's the arm-wrestling champion of the family) herself.
It's around eight, and no one really pays them that much attention as they go through a public park. Of course, Morticia brings Gomez there only so the two of them can judge the rather unsightly areas of the park (the pristine grass, flowerbeds, little gardens, and puppy play area). Also, however, the park is quiet around this time, and if possible, Morticia feels it would be better for Gomez's self-esteem for him not to be seen in this state by anyone they know.
She pushes him past a particularly disconcerting hedge sculpture of a Cupid.
Morticia
How unsightly!
Gomez
Indeed, my dear.
Morticia
And it was so pretty before, unshaped. Wild. Frenzied.
Gomez
A thing of beauty.
Morticia
Now look at it. Saccharine, vile.
Gomez
There are just so many that fail to recognize the natural beauty of wild boxwood!
Morticia
They do say beauty is subjective. You don't think they might see this outrageous thing as beautiful?
Gomez
All beauty but yours is subjective, cara mia.
Morticia (touched by this sudden compliment)
Gomez…
Gomez (overcome by passion)
Tish. Kiss me.
Morticia
Gomez! In a public park?!
Gomez
I'd kiss you myself if I could, my beautiful black orchid.
Morticia
Oh, you mad Castillian. Even with your body so impaired, that blood courses through your veins so gloriously!
Gomez
Cara mia, I ache for you. I dream of holding you again every night.
Morticia (genuinely a little heartbroken by that)
Dear Gomez. You poor, brave, darling man.
Morticia stops wheeling Gomez along, and stands in front of him, facing him head on. Then, she leans in and kisses his forehead.
Gomez (overcome by his usual passion, but driven mad by the fact that he has no way to act on it)
Again, my love. I can't stand it!
Morticia leans in again, and tenderly strokes his face before leaning in and kissing Gomez's forehead again several more times.
Morticia (doting)
Poor darling.
Morticia takes Gomez's hand off the armrest of the powerchair and squeezes it.
Morticia
You will be well again soon, dear. Think of how much you've already regained.
Gomez
But it isn't enough!
Morticia
I know, cavaliero mio. But soon, you'll be back to your old self.
Gomez
Good. I have a million kisses to bestow upon you.
Morticia
Bubeleh…
Gomez
Tish, that word!
Morticia leans down, and kisses Gomez on the forehead again, stroking his cheek after she does so.
Morticia
You sweet, kind, beautiful man…
Gomez
My ravishing, talented, incomparable querida…
Henson
Addams!
Morticia, who is already easily startled, startles hugely. She gasps and steps back, eyes wide. She sees who it is. It's Arthur J. Henson, an acquaintance of the Addams Family for the past few years. Morticia and Gomez have a generally positive opinion of him, but Henson absolutely despises them. He can't believe he's seeing what he's seeing, Morticia Addams being intimate with a severely disabled looking stranger in the park.
Henson
Mrs. Addams!
Morticia
Mr. Henson!
Henson
Who's this stranger?!
Gomez
I'm no stranger, Mr. Henson!
Henson
Gomez Addams?!
Gomez
Contrary to rumour, I'm still in one piece!
Henson
My God.
Morticia
We do apologize for interrupting your walk, Mr. Henson. Dear Gomez can get a bit carried away when it comes to love and romance. He's a blue-blooded Castillian, after all.
Henson
What the devil happened to him?!
Gomez
Got sick.
Henson
Sick? Is that what you call falling from an airplane these days? Or getting your neck broken by a wild animal? Or just accidentally shooting yourself in the neck? Or, how about taking cyanide instead of your sleeping pills? "Getting sick?"
Morticia
No, Mr Henson. Gomez truly did become sick!
Henson
What are the chances?
Gomez
1 in 100,000.
Morticia
But that's nonsense, darling. I know you're one in a million.
Gomez
Cara mia…
Henson
I never could have thought an illness would be what did you in, Addams. When did this even happen?
Morticia
Now, Mr Henson, you mustn't pry…
Gomez
Just over two months.
Henson
Two – two months?! Did you have a stroke?! What kind of a/
Morticia
/No, Mr Henson. Mr Addams developed an autoimmune disease.
Henson
Autoimmune d – well – I – wow. Just… wow. Just when you thought you'd seen it all, you see Gomez Addams, in a wheelchair, paralyzed head to toe, a cloth stuffed in his mouth, hooked up to a ventilator, engaging in a public display of affection with his wife in the middle of the local park.
Gomez
A chance like this'll never come again, old man! May as well take a picture.
Henson
Maybe I should. Beesly won't ever believe me.
Morticia
Oh, don't say that. You're a man of honour. Of course Mr. Beesly will believe you.
Henson
On the other hand, you're probably right. He knows not to doubt anything about your family anymore. I suppose your health insurance is with another company?
Gomez
Good heavens, Henson! We paid out of pocket!
Morticia
Naturally.
Henson
Naturally. Of course.
Morticia
Mr Addams' keen business acumen and good fortune has proven tremendously beneficial.
Henson rolls his eyes, scarcely able to believe what's going on. He ought to keep quiet on this – his insurance company still handles a lot of Gomez's shares and businesses. Instead, he moves on to a new thought.
Henson
I suppose he's not going to get better, then?
Morticia
Mr Henson! Please! He's right here! Talk of him as such!
Henson leans down to Gomez, and at eye level, he speaks again, reluctantly.
Henson
I… suppose you're not going to get better, then.
Gomez (very offended)
Nonsense. Of course I am.
Morticia (also very offended)
Whatever would make you say something like that?!
Henson
You just look so… frail.
Gomez (even more offended than before)
Frail? You take that back.
Morticia (also even more offended than before, incensed)
How dare you!
Henson
Please hush, Mrs Addams!
Morticia
I will not! My husband is in peak physical condition! He is a healthy weight for a man his height. His transplanted heart is functioning perfectly; the anti-rejection drugs are working flawlessly. His sinuses haven't flared up in weeks. Other than being totally paralyzed, feeding tube and ventilator dependent, my husband is in impeccable health!
Henson glowers. Morticia sighs, calming herself down. Even when angry, she never actually shouted. She simply states her case with passion and conviction.
Gomez (to Morticia)
Cara mia, you were magnificent!
Morticia
Thank you, darling. You know, it isn't a bit like me, to argue like that. But I became agitated when your honour was threatened like that. Mr Henson is so presumptuous.
Henson
I am right here!
Morticia
Oh, yes. What?
Henson
What you're saying is that Mr Addams is seriously going to recover? From this?!
Henson gestures in Gomez's vague direction.
Morticia (matter-of-factly)
He's already begun, Mr Henson. He couldn't move his eyes or head before. Now look at him.
Henson (dully)
I'm floored.
Morticia (not identifying the sarcasm)
As you ought to be!
Henson, already near his wits' end, changes subject again, with malice.
Henson
And… your demon children are taking this just fine, I assume?
Morticia
Oh, no. Dear little Wednesday and Pugsley have been so worried about him.
Gomez
Breaks my heart to see them like that.
Morticia
They've made him all sorts of presents, the thoughtful little angels. When he first got sick, Wednesday made him his very own cursed pendant! For luck.
Gomez
And Pugsley's put aside a new train especially for me to blow up when I get my hands back. He's a true Addams, got a heart of gold.
Henson sighs very loudly.
Henson (having had enough of them, full of sarcastic distaste)
Well, I suppose illness can only change so much. I've heard stories, you know, of these sorts of experiences making men humble. Giving them a jolt of reality!
Morticia
My, a jolt. That does sound pleasant.
Henson (finally not able to take anymore, walking away)
Gaahhhhh – Addams! You never learn, do you? Go back to kissing him then, Mrs Addams! If he doesn't drop dead in the next ten seconds, that is! I suppose kissing a vegetable doesn't count as a PDA after all, does it?
Henson storms off, highly irritated.
Morticia
My, Gomez. He was in a hurry.
Gomez
Must have somewhere to be.
Morticia
Imagine that. Such callous words.
Gomez
I know, querida. Almost let him get to me. But the skin of an Addams is thick.
Morticia
Oh, my dear. You are so inspirational.
Gomez
As are you, Tish. My devoted nurse, day and night.
Morticia
My noble, courageous, handsome patient.
She plants a kiss on his hand.
Gomez (overcome)
Let's go to the swamp, Tish. It's such a romantic place.
Morticia
Oh, but darling. It would be so hard to push you in there.
Gomez
Get Lurch to carry me. There's a deckchair you could put me on. We could moonbathe… together.
Morticia
Gomez… you wicked romantic. A moonbath on the thirteenth!
Gomez
I just wish it were a Friday.
Morticia smiles.
Morticia
I'll ring Lurch. Come, my darling. Let's relax.
Morticia strokes Gomez's cheek again, and plants a small kiss on his head. She returns to the back of the powerchair, and goes to turn Gomez around. However, he spins the powerchair around with the head control before she can do it. She smiles lovingly at him, and then resumes pushing him, back down the way they came. They're going home together for a nice, relaxing moonbath in the swamp.