I do not own any of the internet personalities or memes presented in this story.
The Internet Police: The Will of the Internet
Song of Los Angeles, Part 1
Los Angeles was one of the great metropolitan areas of the world, with the metropolis spreading its might throughout southern California through its myriad of highways. Before the coming of Emperor George, Los Angeles was home to more artists, filmmakers, writers, musicians, and other freethinkers than any other city in the history of the world. Neither the ancient city of Rome nor the Renaissance city of Florence would boast such a vast quantity of artists, though the quality of Los Angeles' artists is much more disputed. After the mayor of L.A. agreed to allow Emperor George to place his influence over the city, L.A.'s reputation as a freethinking and liberal city has been eliminated as Emperor George installed policies that promoted conservative and tradition values within the city limits. This resulted in a mass exodus of L.A.'s artistic community, unwilling to bend to the will of the internet as outlined by Emperor George. It was not just the artists who fled L.A. under the rule of Emperor George. There were teachers, lawyers, doctors, engineers, historians, physicists, and YouTubers who made it clear that they would rather live in the slums than submit to Emperor George's authority. The suburbs encircling Los Angeles were the site of these slums, with the exiles either being invited into the inhabited houses or living in their own makeshift shacks. The nearby city of Pasadena was the site of one of the larger slums, and it was here that Emperor George was leading a large army of Institute soldiers to take over the city. He was accompanied by senior officers Frank Murdoch, Roxy Harmon, Strawburry17, and JoeyGraceffa as they surveyed the sprawling slums in front of them, with all of them disgusted by the Plebeian activities they witnessed as they drank their tea.
"We are in the Land of the Plebeians," said Emperor George as he looked through his telescope at the peaceful neighborhood. "We have already sent our missionaries here in converting them into Patricians, but the Plebeians in their narrow-minded wisdom refused to do so. We have no choice but to forcibly change them from their uncivilized ways." He passed the telescope to the group wearing the khaki safari uniforms. "Let's see what you think of the neighborhood before you."
"I see a couple of sluts using their digital devices to watch vapid and mindless beauty and reality programs," commented Roxy as she positioned the telescope to a congregation of giggling girls in extremely short pants.
"I see teenage boys playing a violent video game," said Frank cringing as he looked through the telescope. "Why do Plebeians like to be cruel and mean?"
"I see a family enjoying tacos and burritos in their backyard," said Strawburry17.
As JoeyGraceffa looked through the telescope, Emperor George had something else on his mind.
"I believe we can successfully claim the entire city of Pasadena with the resources we have. Maybe we'll be lucky enough to capture that mischievous Plebeian terrorist Oliver Costa," said Emperor George.
Just like on their previous campaigns, Emperor George climbed onto his jeep, summoning his Institute soldiers to their respective helicopters, jeeps, motorcycles, and biplanes. They loaded up their tranquilizer guns, cattle prods, and flamethrowers as they waited for Emperor George to give them the signal to attack. After a few tense minutes, they saw Emperor George raise the war flag of the Institute Army.
"Internexus vult!" exclaimed Emperor George, signaling the army to charge forward.
"Internexus vult!" yelled the Institute Army as they attacked the neighborhood in front of them.
The battle was over in a matter of minutes. The inhabitants of Pasadena were helpless against a barrage of Institute soldiers firing their tranquilizer guns, with their darts subduing their victims instantly. If the darts missed the so-called Plebeians, then they had to face the unpleasant sensation of being shocked by the cattle prods assigned to each Institute soldier. This weapon (which was called humane by Emperor George) was used to force a quick surrender from the intended target, with the assumption that the targeted would prefer submission over pain. And even if the so-called Plebeians avoid the tranquilizer darts or the cattle prods, they were forced to watch their worldly possessions be consumed in an inferno caused by the flamethrowers held by the Institute soldiers. The Institute soldiers harnessed the power of fire to destroy houses, DVDs, food, clothing, photographs, tables, and anything else they deemed Plebeian. Trying not to feel sorry for the inhabitants of the house (which turned out to be the home of an illegal drug-dealer), Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa proceeded with their task of shooting, electrocuting, and burning anything they came across. Once they were done dealing with the drug-dealer's house, Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa saw that the adjacent house had Frank and Roxy confronting a family who was cowing besides a poster of a Japanese anime show.
"What do you want?!" said the father as he stood besides his wife as she tried to comfort her son and daughter. "What crimes have we committed to deserve this?!"
"For starters, we were informed that you were eating tacos and burritos in the backyard," said Frank. "Don't you know how unhealthy it is to feed them that foreign junk?"
"So you burst into our house, invaded our privacy, and frightened my children just because we fed them delicious Mexican food," said the mother. "What are you the food police?"
"We are Patricians," said Roxy proudly. "And we have already given you an ultimatum via mail that we have the right to invade your house due to not changing your Plebeian ways."
"I might have missed reading it," said the father honestly.
"If you had actually read it, you and your family could have been spared the trouble by either becoming Patricians or removing yourself from Pasadena, which is now the property of Emperor George and his Patricians," said Frank in a matter-of-fact tone. "So how about you make the right choice. What is it going to be?"
The father and mother looked at each other, contemplating their fateful decision.
"We would rather raise our children in an environment where they don't have to be terrorized and brainwashed," said the father and mother together.
"Wrong answer!" shouted Roxy.
Both Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa knew what would come next. Just like clockwork, Frank shot the father with his tranquilizer gun while Roxy shocked the mother with a cattle prod. While Frank trapped the children in a safety net, Roxy continued shocking the mother, with Roxy moaning in pleasure in doing so. With the entire family being subdued, Frank and Roxy went about their routine of randomly lighting Plebeian objects on fire and smashing them onto the floor. Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa went out of the house of the drug-dealer to continue fighting the battle on the streets. But the sounds of the Maxim guns and the jeeps died out, replaced by a sound of jubilation. Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa found the source of the cheers in the form of the Institute soldiers being giddy at something on the Colorado Street Bridge. Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa took out their binoculars and saw Emperor George waving the Institute Army war flag on the bridge. They had won the battle and were now in control of Pasadena.
"What a glorious sight!" thought Emperor George as he rode in a luxurious uncovered automobile.
The entire city of Los Angeles was encircled on land with a high wall separating the Patricians inside from the Plebeians outside. The gates to the mighty fortress were now opened for the oncoming war parade. Carrying Roman-style aquila and Institute Army vexilla, the victorious Institute Army were marching through the opened gates behind Emperor George's vehicle. Being in the very front of the marching Institute soldiers, JoeyGraceffa, Strawburry17, Roxy, and Frank took a quick glance at their fellow comrades in arms (most of who skewed towards being middle-aged and above) feeling utmost joy. Further back, the four senior Institute soldiers saw the spoils of war being carted away on several trucks (some of which will be used for the betterment of the Patricians and some of which will be burned for being tainted with the Plebeian plague). With the last of the trucks coming through the gates, the Institute soldiers stationed on the wall's ramparts motioned for the gates to be closed. The passageway into Los Angeles was closed as the gates clanged shut. After the ceremonial burning of the Plebeian items that accompanied every victorious battle, the Institute soldiers dispersed to relax, with Emperor George and his senior officers holding a meeting for the Committee of Public Security in the Los Angeles City Hall.
"We have here a model of the city of Los Angeles circa 1963," explained Frank as he unveiled a miniature version of Los Angeles to the Committee of Public Security. "Before the coming of the Worst Generation, Los Angeles was the City of Angels, and for a long time, it appeared as if angels blessed the Angelenos with the American Dream as L.A. became an epicenter of industry and entertainment. Pleasantvilles sprang up across California and the rest of the U.S. during this time period as innovation and prosperity thrived, with the clean and tranquil suburbs being a testament to the American utopia. Sadly, the City of Angels lost its angels and the demons in the form of the Worst Generation rampaged through Los Angeles, cursing the city with crime and degenerate ideas that brought about the end of the golden age of L.A."
Frank walked around the model of 1963 Los Angeles as he lit up his cigar, joining the other members of the Committee of Public Security as they lighted up their cigars. With the room filled with cigarette smoke, Frank turned his attention to Emperor George.
"Since your arrival, it was as if the angels have returned to the city, and we now have a second chance at redemption," said Frank proudly. "After we tear down all of the modern and abstract buildings in Los Angeles, I say that we recreate Los Angeles as it was in 1963."
Emperor George gazed upon the model of 1963 Los Angeles, placing his hand on his chin to think for a moment. The teenage Roxy was smoking her cigar in close proximity to Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa, and as they tried to tolerate the noxious fumes coming from the myriad of cigars, they saw that Emperor George was beginning to speak.
"I appreciate your proposal to rebuild Los Angeles back to its 1963 layout," began Emperor George, "But I think it would more prudent to revert Los Angeles to the time period of the late 19th century."
"Believe me, your majesty. I think that the late 1950s and the early 1960s is the ideal time period regarding the reconstruction of Los Angeles," said Frank.
It was at this point that Strawburry17 noticed how differently the members of the Committee of Public Security were dressed. On the one hand, Emperor George and some of his senior members wore Victorian attire, and on the other hand, Frank, Roxy, JoeyGraceffa, herself, and the other senior members wore clothes from the 1950s. Perhaps sensing that an argument might break out between Frank and Emperor George, Strawburry17 saw that Roxy decided to bring up a different issue to discuss by raising her hand.
"Yes, Roxy," said Emperor George.
"How about we move on to the topic of capturing the Plebeian terrorist Costa?" requested Roxy.
"Of course," said Emperor George. "We need to catch this bugger before he strikes again."
Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa glanced on as the Committee of Public Security had a lively discussion on Costa's whereabouts and his plans against the Patricians. Both Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa knew how dangerous Costa based on watching a film review of Project X done by a British internet reviewer named Film Brain. They had watched the review with HurricaneAubrey just before she departed for Japan with the Angry Video Game Nerd and The Irate Gamer. In the review, they had seen Film Brain completely trash the found-footage movie covering a real event in Pasadena, California. The so-called Project X of the movie was a wild party organized by high-school students Costa, Thomas, J.B., and Dax, and it was apparent to them that Film Brain reserved some particular hatred of Costa. Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa agreed with Film Brain as he criticized Costa for being a horny teenage with zero regards for women and sarcastically calling him a "sophisticated and erudite speaker" by his frequent swearing. They recalled what HurricaneAubrey had said when she watched the film review.
"Thank goodness this Costa boy and I have nothing in common with each other," said HurricaneAubrey as she watched Costa browbeat Thomas into inviting more and more people to the Project X party.
"Oh and he comes from Queens which he never stops bloody bragging about and how much he gets laid," said Film Brain in the video review. As he watched Costa saying how much sex he had in Queens compared to zero in Pasadena, Film Brain displayed his anger towards the immature boy. "Oh. Well if you had it so good in Queens, why don't you fuck off back there!"
Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa remembered how HurricaneAubrey began to sweat at this point in the review. Privately, they thought that HurricaneAubrey was nervous about the fact that Costa was from Queens, which was a borough of New York City. Considering that HurricaneAubrey's hometown was another borough of New York City called Brooklyn, it might have dawned on HurricaneAubrey that she and Costa were more similar than she realized. Film Brain might as well have been telling her to fuck off back to her hometown. They felt sorry for HurricaneAubrey, for themselves, and for the rest of humanity as they saw some of the despicable and ignorant things this teenage was doing throughout the movie, of which the quantity of his wrongdoings was kept track of by Film Brain in his Screw Costa countdown. Some of his crimes included intentionally making a baby cry, stealing a gnome from a marijuana drug dealer, and placing invitations to the party on the internet and the radio station (escalating the number of partygoers into the hundreds). And they and Film Brain had the displeasure of watching the result of Costa's plans for what he called "The Most Epic Party of All Time." This "epic party" consisted of a dog (with balloons tied to its body) floating dangerously high above the ground, a little person being stuffed into an oven, furniture and other household objects being thoughtlessly destroyed, ecstasy being consumed, an expensive car being driven into a pool, and fires raging throughout an entire neighborhood.
"More like an epic failure," thought Strawburry17. "I hope Costa gets the harsh punishment he so deserves."
Unfortunately, Film Brain revealed that Costa was acquitted of all charges of vandalism and public endangerment, which infuriated all of them. Instead, Film Brain's review of Project X showed that the movie ended with an interview between Costa and a female interviewer. In the interview, Costa was wearing a leather jacket, a white undershirt, and sunglasses as he was holding a golden goblet in his hand. They saw that Costa was completely unapologetic for his actions and even suggested to the female interviewer to wear something tight to the next epic party he was planning.
"Enough of this nonsense," said HurricaneAubrey. "I need to prepare for the missionary trip to Japan with the Nerd and the Irate Gamer."
Snapping back from their flashback of watching Project X with HurricaneAubrey, Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa heard the usual reports on how Costa was building up a resistant army in overthrowing Emperor George and establishing a world where the wild party of booze and sex would never end.
"He's exactly like that bastard, Fred Figglehorn," said Emperor George. "Young people being the destroyer of worlds. Thank goodness my own son is better than Fred or Costa."
Right on cue, an Institute soldier dressed in blue came into the meeting room and approached Emperor George. The Institute soldier whispered something in his ear, with Emperor George's eyes becoming wider and wider as each sentence was spoken.
"Excuse me for one moment," said Emperor George as he left the meeting room.
The Committee of Public Security wondered at what news had caused Emperor George to leave immediately before the meeting was adjourned. They found their answer soon enough as they heard an angry roar somewhere in the city hall.
"What do you mean you were defeated by the Bronies at San Diego's Comic-Con?!" screamed Emperor George.
Wanting to be a witness to the commotion, all the members of the Committee hurried to find Emperor George. They found him in the main entrance of the city hall, where he was heavily criticizing his son Prince Henry. In contrast to the immaculate appearance of Emperor George, Prince Henry military uniform was shredded and was smeared with his blood and the blood of his adversaries.
"Tell me what exactly happened that led you to this sorry state," insisted Emperor George.
"I was leading the Institute Army to the San Diego Comic Con," began Prince Henry as he tried wiping off the blood from his face. "I knew that a large concentration of Bronies was going to congregate at this convention, and so I figured this was the perfect opportunity to show how pathetic and weak the Bronies were. I thought it would set off a chain reaction that would convince other Bronies to abandon their abominable ways."
"I bet that worked out great for you," said Emperor George sarcastically. "Tell me the details of your 'glorious' battle."
"It turned out that Bronies were not the girly men I expected them to be," said Prince Henry. "My army found out the hard way that many of these Bronies were stronger and more intelligent than we thought they would be. Some of these Bronies even served in the military, so they were well prepared to take the Institute Army on. These damn Bronies were able to resist an onslaught of tranquilizer darts, cattle prods, and flamethrowers."
"Didn't you bring reinforcements?" asked Emperor George. "Did you even bring helicopters, biplanes, jeeps, or motorcycles to the Battle in San Diego?"
"No," said Prince Henry. "I thought I only needed a few Institute soldiers to take down the Bronies.
"Doesn't seem like a good idea in hindsight," said Emperor George as he wiped a drop of blood from Prince Henry's face.
"Those Bronies crushed our initial offense against them," said Prince Henry. "And apparently, those other geeks at Comic Con sympathized with the Bronies and saw the Institute Army itself as threatening to condemn their own fandoms as being Plebeian. As a result, all of the visitors to the San Diego Comic Con converged onto my army and beat the living daylights out of us. I emerged as the only one who escaped capture, though at the cost of being covered in blood and having my uniform ripped to shreds."
Prince Henry held his head down in shame. JoeyGraceffa, Strawburry17, Frank, and Roxy watched as Emperor George began speaking again.
"I assume that your romance with Kirby has distracted you from conducting successful campaigns," said Emperor George. "Am I correct in assuming this?"
Emperor George waited for Prince Henry's answer. Prince Henry decided to be honest with his father.
"Yes," said Prince Henry. "Ever since I took Kirby away from her Plebeian boyfriend Thomas Kub, I wanted to train her to become a proper Patrician lady. Father, I might have gotten carried away with the amount of attention I have been giving her, but then again, I want to give Kirby a chance to be raised outside the environment of juvenility that was inhabited by Thomas, Dax, and the infamous Costa. Please forgive me of this transgression father."
"Very well, my good son," said Emperor George, who was still looking disappointed in his son. "But the next time you do this badly in battle, I'll seriously reconsider your position as heir to my throne. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make preparations for my speech in Colorado."
Strawburry17, JoeyGraceffa, Frank, and Roxy were on the ground level of the city hall where Emperor George and Prince Henry were at. Prince Henry made his way to the city hall's exit.
"My father should grow a pair of freaking balls instead of whining about everything," whispered Prince Henry, not knowing he was overheard by Strawburry17, JoeyGraceffa, Frank, and Roxy. "No wonder Josephine agreed to being divorced from Emperor George after he complained about her dress being 1 centimeter shorter than he wanted it to be."
Roxy walked towards Emperor George to give him some word of advice.
"Your majesty. Your son is quite the handful. He might not be able to handle the responsibility of being your successor," said Roxy.
"You do have a point," said Emperor George.
"Maybe there is someone else who might be capable of succeeding you when you have departed from this life, leaving only your legacy behind," said Roxy with a wink of her eye. "I think you'll find the right person soon enough."
In the days following the victory of the Institute Army in Pasadena and their defeat in San Diego, the Patricians of Los Angeles went about their regular activities. While Emperor George was out performing military and missionary campaigns throughout America (as well as preparing for his speech in Colorado), Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa were out doing their patrols of Los Angeles in their search for anyone who could be masquerading as a Plebeian. Driving around in their 1950s Ford automobile, they pulled over to ask any passing Patricians to perform the following task in proving they were true Patricians: be able to sing or quote the following song or statement respectively with perfection. On Sunset Strip, Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa were asking a random pedestrian to sing some verses from Bye Bye Birdie. The pedestrian agreed to do so while Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa analyzed every word she sang and the style in which she sang them.
"Bye Bye Birdie. I'm gonna miss you so; Bye Bye Birdie, why'd ya have to go? No more sunshine, it's followed you away; I'll cry Birdie, till you're home to stay. I'll miss the way you smile, as tho' it's just for me; And each and ev'ry night, I'll write you faithfully! Bye Bye Birdie, it's awful hard to bear; Bye Bye Birdie. Guess I'll always care, guess I'll always care, guess I'll always care!" sang the female pedestrian in a bubbly and playful voice.
When the pedestrian finished singing, Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa smiled back at her as all of them knew that Bye Bye Birdie has been performed perfectly both in verse and in presentation. Their job being done on Sunset Strip, JoeyGraceffa and Strawburry17 climbed back into their car. JoeyGraceffa started the car just as Strawburry17 looked back at the female pedestrian. In contrast to the smiling and full of life look on her face when she sang Bye Bye Birdie, the pedestrian looked as if she was about to faint on the spot. With JoeyGraceffa getting the car started, Strawburry17 turned her attention away from the pedestrian and the now-closed nightclubs of Sunset Strip. JoeyGraceffa and Strawburry17's on the spot interrogations continued at several Los Angeles landmarks that had changed considerably under the rule of Emperor George. For example, the two senior Institute soldiers asked a passerby to sing I'm Sitting on Top of the World as they stood on the empty spaces that once held the stars of Hollywood's most esteemed celebrities (removed by Emperor George for their owners being either risqué or untraditional). On Venice Beach, the usual presence of bodybuilders, musicians and other street performers, homeless eccentrics, up and coming artists, and beachgoers in scantily clad clothing were replaced with pedestrians dressed in conservative attire from the Victorian Era and the early 20th century, with one of them being asked by the two senior Institute soldiers to recite verses from Romeo and Juliet. And at the Griffith Observatory, JoeyGraceffa and Strawburry17 were asking a museum visitor to repeated several lines from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
"What does the Hal-9000 say to Dave when the latter requested for the pod doors to be opened?" asked JoeyGraceffa.
The museum visitor was thinking with much trepidation as the two senior Institute soldiers looked on. After a few tense moments of thinking, he responded to the question.
"I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid you can't do that," answered the museum visitor to the question of what the Hal-9000 said to Dave.
"Correct," said JoeyGraceffa.
The museum visitor sighed in relief as he walked away from Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa. The two senior Institute soldiers then noticed that Frank and Roxy were teaching Emperor George's philosophy to a group of young children, which included the boy and girl who were taken away from their parents by Frank and Roxy. Underneath a model of the solar system (which included Pluto as one of the main planets), the children listened enthusiastically to Frank and Roxy's explanation for Emperor George's humanitarian missions.
"Emperor George is the paragon of righteousness and civility," said Roxy in a loving manner to the children. "Unlike the Plebeians, he doesn't wear clothing that comes from a garage sale or watch the type of garbage that is considered entertainment today. He has come here to save all the Plebeians from their own destructive behavior. All they have to do is accept him and you will become a Patrician just like him. He is merciful enough to accept them into his perfect world."
"I will now read you a chapter called the Revelation of George Zazz," announced Frank to the spectators. He spoke as if Emperor George himself was reading The Blue Book. "From the top of a hill, I see darkness engulf the lands as the clock struck midnight, heralding the arrival of the new millennium. I saw a once peaceful kingdom that has thrived in harmony and peace since time immemorial becoming infested with the plague of the Plebeians. These tricksters and fiends unleashed from their doomsday box the gifts of savagery, ignorance, filthiness, and gluttony. From the initial infestation, the Plebeian population has permeated across the land like serpents, slithering through the dwellings of even the noblest of folks. Soon, only a few Patricians were left in the fair kingdom."
"What are Patricians?" asked one of the children. "And what is this kingdom you're referring to."
"Patricians are the enlightened members of society that are diametrically opposed to the Plebeians," answered Frank as he flipped through the pages of The Blue Book. "I, Roxy, Emperor George, and others wearing this uniform are the Patricians. And you can be one to if you join us. Otherwise, you are a Plebeian.
"That's right," said Roxy with a confident voice. "Either you're with us or you're with the enemy. There's no in between."
"I agree," said Frank. "Today, we are living in the time of the Plebeians, where everything is now catered towards them. They couldn't possibly pander any harder or be more commercially mainstream, because this is the 'Oh no, you didn't say that!' generation, where a shocking comment has more weight than the truth. No one has any shame anymore, and we're supposed to celebrate it."
As JoeyGraceffa and Strawburry17 overheard Frank explain to the children about the "Oh no, you didn't say that!" generation, they saw the images of their former friends, of whom were all arrested by Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa during their humanitarian missions. The two senior Institute soldiers saw the ghostly specters of Shane Dawson, Bart Baker, and all their other former friends encircling around them.
"You betrayed us!" said the images in the two senior Institute soldiers' heads.
"I think betray is the wrong words," thought the two senior Institute soldiers. "I think reform and sent to a better place is the proper terminology."
In order to distract themselves from looking at the disapproving and disappointed looks on their former friends' faces, JoeyGraceffa and Strawburry17 looked back at Frank, who continued explaining his hatred of the Plebeians to the children.
"I saw a woman throw a used tampon at another woman last night on network television, a network that bills itself as 'Today's Woman's Channel'. Kids beat each other blind and post it on YouTube. I mean, do you remember when eating rats and maggots on Survivor was shocking? It all seems so quaint now. I'm sure the girls from '2 Girls 1 Cup' are gonna have their own dating show on VH-1 any day now. I mean, why have a civilization anymore if we no longer are interested in being civilized?" explained Frank to the wide-eyed children.
Everyone in the vicinity of Frank looked downtrodden, thinking their own thoughts of the Plebeian world beyond the areas controlled by the Patricians. Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa knew that their former friends were a part of the pandering and mainstream population that Emperor George, Frank, and all the Patricians so detested.
"Thankfully, Emperor George is here to save us all from the Plebeian plague," said Roxy in a sweet and loving voice to the children. "Already, he has saved all of you from your wicked parents and is now training you to become fighters for his humanitarian cause. The Plebeians may see us savages and barbarians, but in actuality, we are humanitarian workers trying to improve their way of life. We must always remember that it is the will of the internet we are carrying out the humanitarian missions. Just think about Emperor George and everything will be all right."
"Couldn't have said it better," said Frank. "Now how about we watch The Wonder Years to cheer us up."
As the children enthusiastically watched episodes of The Wonder Years on the film projector Frank had set up (of which they had also watched shows like Happy Days), Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa decided to follow Roxy's advice and think about Emperor George. Instantaneously, the images of their former friends dissipated, freeing the two senior Institute soldiers of their guilt. Feeling relieved, Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa decided to take in the view of Los Angeles from Griffith Observatory. They saw the Los Angeles skyline, which was filled with construction cranes and scaffolding on the skyscrapers. The two senior Institute soldiers knew that Emperor George wanted to restore Los Angeles back to its original state without the blot of modern skyscrapers ruining the city, and so, he intended to tear down these tall behemoths entirely. Off in the distance, JoeyGraceffa and Strawburry17 saw the massive wall that separated the Patricians in Los Angeles to the Plebeians in the outlands. After a quick glance at the Hollywoodland Sign, Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa knew in their hearts that Emperor George and all the Patricians had the best intentions for everyone.
"This is INN news reporter Brian Collins, and I am here on the edge of the mighty wall of Los Angeles," said Brian Collin as he was being observed by the Institute soldiers on the wall's battlements. "For several weeks, Emperor George's humanitarian missions have been conducted with the intent of converting the Plebeians into Patricians, and his humanitarian efforts have been met with much resistance from the Plebeian masses. Often, Emperor George's Institute Army has clashed with the Plebeians in violent ways, as evident when his Institute Army forcibly drove out the Plebeians from Pasadena. With the departure of Emperor George for Colorado, his son Prince Henry has been left in charge of the Institute Army in Los Angeles. When Prince Henry announced his intentions of annexing Anaheim, everyone anticipated the same scenario that happened in Pasadena. But what followed was unexpected. As it so happens, the Plebeians of Anaheim have evacuated, leaving the neighborhood to the Patricians without a fight. And even more bizarrely, they left behind what appears to be an enormous golden statue of Emperor George riding on horseback, with a note attached to it saying it was a peace offering to the victorious Patricians. At the sight of his triumphant father preserved in gold, Prince Henry insisted that the statue be brought directly into the walled city of Los Angeles."
INN news footage displayed the Institute Army walking through the deserted streets and buildings of Anaheim. At Disneyland and Disney California Adventure, Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa were shown walking through the empty park that once was filled with operating attractions and smiling crowds. Both senior Institute soldiers seem reluctant to leave the two parks as they examined the various Disney merchandising found within its stores, ranging from stuffed Disney toys to Mickey Mouse hats. Based on the footage, a tint of sadness seemed to have enveloped over Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa as Frank and Roxy proceeded to burn the Disney merchandise with their flamethrowers, with Handel's Lascia ch'io pianga being played in the background from a phonograph. The footage shifted from the Disney products being reduced to ashes to the moment that Prince Henry found a statue of his father on horseback, of which everyone seemed enthralled by this discovery. Everyone except Frank and Roxy. After the news footage showed Prince Henry arguing fiercely with Frank and Roxy, it immediately changed to the entrance of the golden equestrian statue into Los Angeles, in which the statue was pulled by several Institute soldiers accompanied with the soldiers holding up Roman-style aquila and Institute Army vexilla. Once the statue arrived into the center of the Los Angeles, a huge celebration was shown complete with dancing girls in togas throwing flowers onto the ground, musicians playing Roman cornua and lyres, Patricians dancing around the golden statue in a circle, and the waving of American flags by the crowds to the marching Institute soldiers.
"But not everyone is happy at bringing the statue directly into the city," said Brian Collins. "And these two people are Frank Murdoch and Roxy Harmon, who I have available with me right now." Brian Collins held his microphone to the two senior Institute soldiers. "So tell me why bringing the equestrian statue of Emperor George is a terrible idea?"
Brian Collins positioned his microphone next to Frank and Roxy, but to his surprise, they didn't answer his question.
"Is everything alright?" asked Brian Collins.
"Are you a Plebeian or a Patrician?" questioned Roxy. "Because we don't want to be interviewed by a Plebeian."
Brian Collins stood awkwardly as he didn't know what to say to this unusual question. Thankfully for him, Frank was examining him from head to toe, nodding his head towards him in satisfaction. Frank took out a tape measure, measuring the length of Brian Collins' sleeves, his tie, and his pants.
"He's a Patrician," said Frank. "What was your question again?"
"Why do you disapprove of Prince Henry's decision to bring the golden statue into the walled city of Los Angeles?" asked Brian Collins.
"Because there could be people hidden inside that large statue," answered Frank. "Look. We're not stupid. We all know the tale of the Trojan Horse where the Greeks hid inside a wooden horse they gave as a gift to the Trojans, and when the Trojans brought the horse into their fair city of Troy, the Greeks proceeded to escape from their hiding spot and ransack the city without mercy. When I suggested to Prince Henry that we destroy the statue or slice into it, he was aghast at the prospect. So against my wishes, he decided to bring the statue into the city fully intact, though he reluctantly accepted my proposal to station a few Institute soldiers around the statue as a precaution."
"I'm not surprised at how incompetent Prince Henry is," said Roxy. "If I was Emperor George, then I would have disowned him, especially considering his debacle in San Diego."
"Will you please turn that off?!" shouted Prince Henry in reference to the television screen broadcasting the news footage.
A Victorian era style banquet was being held in one of the houses that once belonged to a rich Armenian family, and at this banquet was Frank, Roxy, Prince Henry, Kirby, Strawburry17, JoeyGraceffa as well as a couple of other senior Institute soldiers. Also present were the Angry Video Game Nerd and HurricaneAubrey, who had just arrived in Los Angeles from Japan. Frank and Roxy were just showing their news interview to Strawburry17, JoeyGraceffa, and the three Internet Police agents when Prince Henry interrupted them.
"Very well then," said Roxy as she turned the television.
"Thank you," said Prince Henry. He turned his attention towards Kirby. "Come on, Kirby. We have some unfinished business to attend to."
Prince Henry led Kirby away from the congregation of partygoers.
"I guess the rest of us are off to the dining room," said Frank as he led his group to the banquet table.
With HurricaneAubrey, the Nerd, Strawburry17, and JoeyGraceffa being in their presence as they ate their aristocratic meal with the finest silverware, Frank and Roxy decided to engage in a lengthy conversation with each other.
"How about we list some things we don't like, Roxy?" said Frank to Roxy.
"Good idea, Frank," said Roxy. "How about people who misuse the term 'literally'."
"Or guys who say 'actually' all the time," said Frank.
"I hate guys who wear lady pants," said Roxy.
"I hate guys who buy $100,000 cars and drive around 10 miles slower than the speed limit," added Frank.
"I hate people who buy anarchy t-shirts," said Roxy.
"I hate people who use the term 'The Man' in a positive or negative light, such as 'The Man is always sticking it to us' or 'You're the Man'.
"I hate people who wear crystals and calls them spiritual," added Roxy.
HurricaneAubrey, the Nerd, Strawburry17, and JoeyGraceffa went through their appetizers silently as they heard Roxy and Frank continuing to list the things they disliked. JoeyGraceffa tried not to hear Frank and Roxy's ever expanding list of things to hate about today's world. To his displeasure, Roxy and Frank rambled on and on regarding their hatred of modern society even as the entrée was being consumed. By the time the last of the desserts was being cleared, JoeyGraceffa had enough of Frank and Roxy's never ending rant. Just as he was about to open his mouth to tell them to stop listing off the things they hated, Frank changed the subject for him.
"Do you remember what I said to those kids at Griffith Observatory?" asked Frank to Roxy. "I told them 'why have a civilization anymore if we no longer are interested in being civilized?' I'm just thankful that we have rescued these kids from the wickedness of the greater world. Imagine what would have happened if they had been subjected to such Plebeian influences like Costa, Congressman Lame R. Prick, and those insane pageant parents."
"I know exactly what would have happened," remarked Roxy with an air of superiority. Even though she was a teenager, she seemed to have the confidence and the authority of a full grown adult. "I would have joined those Plebeians in their quest for stupidity and filth. Of course, I probably would have done the honorable thing and committed suicide."
"It's a shame that not everyone shares your enthusiasm about being a Patrician," commented Frank. "I recalled that one bastard who said that we should stop listing off the Plebeian things we hated."
JoeyGraceffa was breathing heavily when Frank mentioned one man who decided to defy Frank and Roxy. Only Strawburry17 seemed to have noticed JoeyGraceffa's look of nervousness as she understood that he had avoided incurring the wrath of Frank and Roxy at the banquet.
"What right does this so-called Patrician have in telling Frank and I on what conversation we should have?" said Roxy. "After all, we saw him eating his food with the aura of a Neanderthal feasting on raw meat with the way he was handling his fork and knife. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised by his weak loyalty to Emperor George and his Patricians."
"Absolutely Roxy. Our suspicions of this Patrician grew when we measured his pants to be half a centimeter shorter than expected. I mean, is this Patrician trying to be a thug when he pulled off that stunt," said Frank.
"And don't forget the most damning evidence of him being a Plebeian masquerading as a Patrician," said Roxy. "He offended the memory of Alice Cooper, the greatest musician of all time, by messing up the lyrics for Hello Hooray. Can you believe that he replaced the word yeah with yes when he sang Hello Hooray?"
"What a Plebeian!" exclaimed Frank. "It wasn't surprising that we found out some unsavory truths about him afterwards."
"I remember when he raided his house and tore through his stuff," said Roxy. "I especially recalled that he had posters and t-shirts singing praises to both Fall Out Boy and Green Day. We all know that they suck shit through ten bricks. And he owned a copy of the movie Juno. Considering that this asshole was just posing as a Patrician, it's unsurprising that this man would watch a movie that was written by a stripper with unexpectedly high self-esteem."
Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa stared at the Nerd and HurricaneAubrey to see their reaction to Frank and Roxy's engaging conversation, but they happened to be missing from the table. Apparently, they had other affairs to attend to at the banquet.
"After our justified raid on this fake Patrician's house, we took him in for a little talk," said Roxy. "Do you remember how calmly we tried to inform him of his mental illness?"
"I told this little delinquent how his generation destroyed my life. I told him that I had fought in the desolate deserts of the Middle East defending America from her enemies abroad. Little did I know that she was being torn apart by her own citizens. When I returned home after years of military service, I expected to become a married man raising a happy family in the suburbs of Syracuse, New York. I thought that the Levittown paradise of the Greatest Generation who participated in World War II would be guaranteed for me," said Frank. "I told the young hooligan that his generation with its obsession with pettiness, unkindness, and rudeness ruined me. As you already know, I told him that despite the sacrifices I made as a young soldier and as a middle-aged insurance salesman I was unable to live the American Dream of yesteryear. For example, today's families are so dysfunctional and divided, and I told the rebellious boy that I was divorced and had an estranged daughter who was spoiled, whiny, and greedy. The woman I loved was now the submissive mother to a she-demon who would wail at the terrifying fate of being given a Blackberry instead of an iPhone. I also added that I was living next door to a couple of Neanderthals (like him) who gave birth to a nocturnal civil defense air-raid siren that goes off every fucking night like it's Pearl Harbor, and that I was fired from my job just for being friendly with my fellow coworker. You would think that this would convince the young man to respect you and me for being Patricians and to abandon his Plebeian ways. But no, he just crossed his arms and rolled his eyes as if he doesn't give a fuck about what I've been through."
"He didn't even seem to be sympathetic to my own plight," said Roxy. "I told this mentally disturbed man that I grew up in Virginia Beach with a drug addict mom and a dad who regularly rapes me. And even still, our mentally ill man just shrugged when he heard my life story."
"What a sick sad little man," said Frank. "Why does everything we say to him seem to bounce right off of him? Is it because he is a fan of several mentally ill YouTubers?" Frank pointed his index finger to Roxy as a sign of a dramatic revelation. "There's the problem right there. He was raised in an environment that hampered his development as a normal human being. These internet personalities destroyed his soul. I mean, fuck Shane Dawson and his vulgar sex and excrement jokes. Fuck Smosh and their constant mugging and their lack of decency. Fuck John Green and his anti-American, anti-Western mindset. Fuck Epic Meal Time and their promotion of obesity and barbarian food. And fuck the Nostalgia Critic for his treachery against Emperor George."
"And while we're at it, fuck JennaMarbles for being an attention-seeking whore. Fuck iJustine for being a YouTube prostitute. Fuck Magibon and her traitorous obsession with Japanese culture. Fuck Rebecca Black and her unholy voice. And fuck all those female YouTubers who post videos of themselves applying makeup and showing the latest clothes they bought. Are they trying to be sluts by displaying themselves for the whole world to gawk at?" said Roxy.
JoeyGraceffa and Strawburry17 knew several of these internet celebrities personally as they had been close friends with them for many years. As Frank and Roxy attacked their former friends one by one, Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa felt a sense of shame come upon them as they had been associated with people whom Frank and Roxy despised. But then, Frank and Roxy looked over to both of them and gave them a warm smile. Perhaps this was a sign that Frank and Roxy accepted them as Patricians just like them.
"In the end, we knew that the young man was a lost cause when he told us that Emperor George looked exactly like one half of the duo Smosh, only that the Smosh member was funnier and handsomer than Emperor George," said Frank with a sigh of frustration.
"Indeed, we had no choice but to send him to Utopia Island where he can get the proper treatment for his mental condition," said Roxy. "But considering how deteriorated his mental state is, I wouldn't be surprised if he will eventually be transferred to the Island of the Misfits."
Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa looked at each other in fascination. They were vaguely familiar with Utopia Island as a place where Plebeians would be treated for their medical condition. What these healing procedures involved was unknown to them as they lacked the proper authorization to enter Utopia Island. But they never heard of an area called the Island of the Misfits. They started contemplating on what would be contained on the Island of the Misfits when Frank and Roxy were wrapping up their long conversation by bringing up their involvement with Emperor George.
"I guess some people don't appreciate the effort that we put forth in saving our country," said Frank to Roxy. "Hopefully, we won't encounter anyone else who is just pretending to be a Patrician."
"I hope so too Frank. And if I find any Patrician who is a Plebeian, I'll personally gut them like a pig and hear them squeal in pain," said Roxy in a threatening voice.
JoeyGraceffa and Strawburry17 were taken aback by Roxy's threat against traitors within Emperor George's organization. Without warning, they had swallowed nervously as they dropped their silverware onto the table. They stared at Roxy with their eyes wide open, with a sense that she was going to reach for a knife and rip out their organs. So it was a shock to them that Roxy burst out laughing.
"I'm kidding!" reassured Roxy to Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa. "I'm obviously a part of Emperor George's Army, which is just a humanitarian agency. I would never kill anyone just like that. Isn't that right Frank?"
Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa gave a nervous laugh as they were relieved at the fact that Roxy was only joking when she made that frightening statement.
"That's right, Roxy," said Frank as he raised his wine glass in the air. "We would never resort to murder to serve Emperor George's mission. We're peacekeepers after all."
"I'm glad to hear that," said Strawburry17 as she smiled with JoeyGraceffa, who was trying his best to grin alongside Roxy and Frank.
With the end of the banquet, the attendants participated in a formal ballroom dance. HurricaneAubrey and the Angry Video Game Nerd had returned after their long absence from the main banquet to dance in a Victorian ball with Frank, Roxy, Strawburry17, JoeyGraceffa, and the other high ranking members of Emperor George's Patricians. Curiously, Prince Henry and Kirby were nowhere to be found. With the orchestra playing Canon in D in the background, the dance floor was occupied with twirls and other motions that were not commonly seen nowadays, a throwback to a bygone era. The dancers were dressed in their finest Victorian formal attire as they danced with their partners. HurricaneAubrey danced with the Nerd. Frank was with Roxy. And Strawburry17 was with JoeyGraceffa. All throughout the dance, Strawburry17 was trying her best not to trip on her dress as she lifted her feet down and up the shiny floor. Meanwhile, JoeyGraceffa was having trouble holding onto Strawburry17 with his sweaty hands caused by nervousness. In fact, both of them were having difficulty moving with the same rhythm as Canon in D, with them moving much quicker than warranted. After repeatedly getting dangerously close to hitting a dancing couple, JoeyGraceffa and Strawburry17 departed from the dance floor to watch from the sidelines. They both felt embarrassed with their dancing performance. From their vantage point, they saw HurricaneAubrey and the Nerd dancing elegantly and gracefully. They rotated across the dance floor with precision and balance in contrast to the awkward motions of Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa.
"Why can't I be like the Nerd?" thought JoeyGraceffa as he saw the Nerd looking confident as he programmed his body to dance to Canon in D.
"I wish I had the charm and the sophistication of HurricaneAubrey," thought Strawburry17 as she saw HurricaneAubrey move effortlessly in her Victorian garments. She looked like an angel to Strawburry17.
JoeyGraceffa looked at his hands and brushed them angrily on his handkerchief. Strawburry17 was trying her best to look happy for HurricaneAubrey as she was being admired by all around her. But how could she be happy for HurricaneAubrey when she was aware of her own shortcomings compared to her, which extended beyond dancing. HurricaneAubrey and the Nerd were approached by a dancing Frank and Roxy, who were also attracted to HurricaneAubrey's mastery of Victorian dancing. Both Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa heard snippets of the conversation between the four elite Patricians. They heard that Roxy had asked HurricaneAubrey whether she had abandoned her Plebeian ways and disowned her sister Allison, of which HurricaneAubrey replied yes to both questions with a casual smile on her face. They saw that the Nerd had asked Frank about the well-being of the Chief of the Internet Police, with Frank responding that she has been doing fine since she voluntarily decided to take a long vacation abroad. Frank assured the Nerd that Emperor George's assumption of the position of temporary Chief of the Internet Police would be smooth, and he even suggested that the Internet Police needed someone like Emperor George to make the agency more efficient in fighting the scum of the web. The conversation shifted to Frank and Roxy asking the Nerd and HurricaneAubrey about their opinion about the Nostalgia Critic. All of a sudden, the Nerd and HurricaneAubrey announced that they needed to retire from the banquet early. Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa saw the disappointed looks on Frank and Roxy's faces. They witnessed Frank and Roxy smiling sadly as they waved farewell to HurricaneAubrey and the Nerd, with the latter two stating that they were staying at the Century Plaza Hotel. Without the presence of HurricaneAubrey and the Nerd, the party appeared much less lively. It was unsurprising that Frank made the following announcement to the partygoers.
"I think that we can call it a night," said Frank loudly. "Since Prince Henry is currently preoccupied, I think I will be the one who will be making the final speech of the night."
Frank motioned Roxy to herd all of the guests to the outside of the mansion. Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa were now amid a flood of candles, all of which illuminated the night sky. Several wooden benches had been set up for the occasion of being sat upon. JoeyGraceffa, Strawburry17, and the other guests took their places on the benches while Roxy stood besides Frank as he marched to the raised podium. Immediately behind Frank was a replica of Hieronymus Bosch's The Garden of Earthly Delights. Strawburry17 remembered how HurricaneAubrey described the artwork as a religious triptych containing three panels. The first panel displayed Adam and Eve living innocently in the Garden of Eden. The second panel showcased a garden corrupted by temptation and sin as men and women were drawn performing acts of gluttony, drunkenness, and lust. The third and final panel revealed that all the party animals in the second panel were sent to the depths of hell itself for their sinfulness, with the sinners forced to reside within a post-apocalyptic landscape for all eternity. Frank started speaking, and like a preacher delivering a sermon from a pulpit, he attracted the undivided attention from the guests dressed in Victorian clothing.
"In the beginning, God created the Garden of Eden, and he saw that it was good. He placed man and woman within the garden, telling them to maintain the goodness and sanctity of the garden. It was God's intent that mankind become fruitful in populating the earth while remaining pure and innocent. Alas, it was not meant to be. Mankind chose to allow evil and wickedness into the world, and as a result, the world has been cruel and violent ever since," said Frank.
JoeyGraceffa took another look at The Garden of Earthly Delights and gazed over the first panel showing an uncorrupted garden and then at the second panel showing several examples of debauchery. Frank began speaking again.
"Of course, the story of the Garden of Eden is mainly allegorical and symbolic," stated Frank. "But the tale has captivated Western civilization for millennia. Generations upon generations of Westerners have lamented how mankind gave up the chance to live in paradise by succumbing to unclean pleasures and unethical behaviors. But the dream of Eden was sustained nevertheless. These same generations of Westerns continued to hope that Eden would come into fruition. We even got a word that best describes what Eden was from Sir Thomas More: utopia. What is utopia you may ask? Utopia is perfection. Utopia is paradise. Until now, a sustainable utopia has been unattainable. Besides the Garden of Eden, another popular utopia was Atlantis, described by the Greek philosopher Plato as an advanced and cultured civilization. Unfortunately, Plato wrote that Atlantis was destroyed by the Greek gods for their hubris and immorality, with the great city submerged underwater, and as a result of this calamity, the achievements of the Atlanteans were for naught except for one accomplishment: inspiring future generations to construct their own utopia which would last for all time."
Roxy gave Frank an encouraging nod as he plowed on with his speech.
"When the first Europeans entered the New World, they found an empty continent filled with a cornucopia of land, trees, and fauna," said Frank in a dramatic voice. "From the time the pilgrims landed at Plymouth, the people inhabiting the land that would become the United States of America sought out the mission of being a utopia that would be the envy of the whole world. Puritan John Winthrop preached in his 1630 sermon A Model of Christian Charity that the city of Boston will be a city upon a hill, and he dictated that the whole world will look to Boston as an experiment in creating a utopian society, with Winthrop hoping that the rest of the world will emulate Boston as a model of morality and godliness. Years after Winthrop's sermon, the city upon a hill metaphor would be expanded to include all of the U.S. whereby America would be seen as an exceptional utopia by foreigners. And for the first years of its existence, America would fulfill the utopian dream. Americans have expanded beyond the original thirteen colonies to the Pacific Ocean, an act fondly remembered as Manifest Destiny. Besides the expansion of her territory, America also built inventions that benefited the entire world, from the light bulb to the automobile. In the early part of the 20th century, America fought in the name of liberty and freedom for all nations all by herself while the rest of the world was suppressed by tyranny and barbarism. With the Greatest Generation inhabiting the suburban gardens and raising their families to be wholesome and patriotic Americans, you would think that the American utopia would last forever."
In the flicker of the candle lights, the audience saw that Frank's face became crestfallen as he came to the most depressing part of his speech.
"Just as in the case of Eden and Atlantis, America has become plagued with temptation and sin, and just as with the serpent in Eden, the serpentine Plebeians have tempted many decent Americans to give up their virtuous traits of purity, chastity, and obedience for filthier enjoyments," said Frank as his eyes became watery. Roxy and several guests reached for their handkerchiefs to wipe their eyes as they listened on to Frank's speech. "Whoever showcases Plebeian characteristics or sympathizes with the Plebeians is an enemy of utopia and will face the consequences as the world descends into hell as a result of these Plebeians."
Much to her displeasure, Strawburry17's mind flashed back to a time when she was into anime. It was a Japanese art form that was disparaged by Emperor George as being hedonistic, flashy, and overly indulgent, exactly the opposite of the moral forms of Western art.
"I and all of the other Patricians will know if any Patrician is actually allied with the serpent, and we will drive them out of paradise just as St. Patrick exiled the snakes from Ireland," said Frank ominously. "They will eventually pay for what they have done."
Strawburry17 looked to JoeyGraceffa, who had been staring at the third panel of The Garden of Earthly Delights. Strawburry17 stared at the third panel where sinners underwent horrific punishments in a dark and hellish place. With one last stare at the third panel, Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa went back to listening to Frank's sermon, trying to convince themselves that their past and ungodly lives will not be a liability to their new beginnings in Emperor George's utopia.
"Thankfully, I and many of my Patrician brothers and sisters have been working with Emperor George to create a new utopia in the wasteland of America. Right here, we have been tearing down the weeds of modern Los Angeles, and replacing them with tried and true traditional buildings and values. We have raised an army of children to defend Los Angeles from the evils of the outside world. And we have an omnipresent surveillance system to cast out the demons from the City of Angeles," said Frank with an uplifting voice. The audience, who had been saddened by the lost of the American utopia, became jubilant at this news. "I have a feeling that the paradise dreamt up by our ancestors is going to be achieved at last, and this time being permanent."
"Attention all Patricians! The walls of Los Angeles have been breached! We are under attack! All units defend Los Angeles at all cost!" boomed an electronic voice.
At a Los Angeles mansion, everyone knew that the paradise they had worked so hard to build was being lost.
Please give me your opinions regarding this story by writing reviews. What other internet celebrities or memes do you want to see in this story?