Hey guys! Here's my update for the updating spree, and I hope you like it! This has been one of my favorite chapters to write, and I hope you'll find it just funny as I did! So Kong meets Amanda and Darius in the next chapter, and be prepared to see everyone's fantasies about torturing a Tenryuubito come to life in this riveting tale! I'm not sure when I'll update next, but updates do help the motivation. Thank you, review, and enjoy! Happy Holidays!
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, just my OCs
Aokiji glanced around nervously for a red-haired physics demon and a small gothic lolita death-angel, who were no-doubt planning to ruin the ceremony. He didn't know what those two were planning; he just knew it wasn't going to be pretty.
With Amanda and Darius
"Ne Darius?" Amanda asked.
"Yeah?" He replied.
"How'd we end up here again?" She sweat-dropped as she looked down from the balcony they were standing on. It was far above the execution platform, but not so far up above, that they couldn't see who was down there.
"I don't know. We were running from a couple of marines and somehow…we ended here." He was quite confused himself.
"Ah. Just making sure. Hey…the opening ceremony's starting should we watch?" She asked dumbly.
"Why not? It's not like we have anything better to do." The boy groaned.
Back with Aokiji
As the entire Marineford stadium-floor filled up with anxious recruits and soldiers, Aokiji briefly forgot one thing about the ceremony, but he couldn't remember what it was. "Ne, Aokiji-kun…you're here early." He turned and silently gulped, it was Kizaru. "You'll never guess what I ran into, during my vacation." Aokiji stiffened. "There was a clown…that claimed to be you…he had his pants pulled down by a little noble-girl. You wouldn't know anything about it…would you?"
'Talk in a non-lazy manner for once, you bastard!' Aokiji inwardly cursed but forced himself to stay calm. "Not at all, must've been some kind of joke."
"But he even had the same underwear you did." The yellow admiral pointed out.
"Coincidence." Aokiji managed to ground out.
"He even had the same hair-"
"Can we change the subject, please?" Aokiji finally snapped.
"He's right, Kizaru." Aokiji turned to see the last of his fellow admirals, Akainu. "I just ran into one of the brattiest kids I've ever had the misery of meeting. I'd rather talk about anything other than children at the moment."
"What's your problem?" The ice admiral asked.
"Kizaru and I had the displeasure of running into revolutionary trainees, who somehow infiltrated the base. To make matters worse, they some how knew how to counter our devil fruits. Then, after I hit my head on something, I woke up…and Kizaru's bloody corpse was on top of me." Akainu's fist got redder and harder as he talked about what transpired. "Honestly, let's just hope they're caught before Commander Kong and CP9 make their presentation, I also heard that Saint Roswald would be coming to."
Aokiji paled, this wasn't good. The Tenryuubito's ship would be too big of a temptation for the terrible two to resist. "So, what is this thing they're presenting anyways?"
"Apparently it's some kind of aircraft, will carry fleets into the sky. Sounds ridiculous if you ask me." Akainu gruffed.
"Ne…I like the sound of it…personally." Kizaru replied.
"Of course you would, light-bastard. You like anything that moves fast." The red admiral growled. "Aokiji, what do you think?"
"Peachy. Just freakin' peachy." The youngest admiral groaned. He watched the Vice-admirals as well as other commanding officers take their seats, followed by the lower-ranked marines filing in. He was now certain, this was going to be the worst Anniversary celebration ever.
With the kids
Amanda and Darius watched the crowd with bored expressions, and suddenly Darius had an idea. "He Manda-chan."
"What?"
"Think fast!" She jumped up, as the ground cracked on her. She landed on the railing of the balcony.
"Watch it bastard!" She yelled.
"Oh come on, it's not like we're going to pay attention to the speech anyways!" Darius shot another array of numbers at her.
"At least keep it at a level where we don't destroy the building!" She jumped again, and shot an attack of her own at the boy. Darius landed on the railing as well, a few feet to her left.
"Let's dance, sis!" The both of them smirked, a good sparing match would be great.
With the admirals
After the crowd sufficiently gathered for the opening ceremony, Sengoku took his place on stage, while Garp, Aokiji, Kizaru, and Akainu took their respective seats behind him. Aokiji glanced around without chaining his facial expressions, his sense of doom growing even stronger. He suddenly noticed that they were using Den-Den Mushi to set something up, and there were television screens in place. He paled and his mouth slightly agape. 'Oh no.' Deciding to ask, he said, "Kizaru, are we televising the celebration this year?"
"Eh…since a Tenryuubito's making an appearance, and CP9's debuting their aircraft machine, it's going to be televised. Apparently, it's the biggest anniversary in a long time." The yellow admiral answered boredly.
"You don't say." Aokiji grounded out. Suddenly, the Den Den Mushi were set up, and Sengoku had unrolled his speech.
"Today is a great day. Today is the day, about 800yrs ago, our Navy was founded under the World Government's supreme orders to maintain peace and balance in the Grand Line Waters. As all of you in the world are aware, we normally, if ever, never televise our sacred foundation anniversary celebration. However, the World Government's Cipher Pole 9, has a presentation to make, as well as one of our heavenly lords coming here to officially release and endorse it." He began. "However, before that we must highlight on some of the most important events that have caused the Navy to be needed now, more than ever. Obvious points would now be the Revolutionary Army; a group of bloody terrorist who wish to go against the World Government's order. Another issue would obviously be the Gold Roger's announcement before his execution, the legend of One Piece."
With Amanda and Darius
The kids were so wrapped up in their fight, that they didn't notice the speech started or that it was being televised. Jumping back onto the ledge, right below Sengoku, she swayed a little to avoid an energy blast. Unfortunately, that very action, caused her to slip. "W-Woah!" She fell
"Manda!" Darius ran to the edge to look down.
With Sengoku
"In saying this, we must also address that the children of pirates and revolutionaries must also be punished, particularity- OAHFF!" His speech was cut-off abruptly by something landing on top and flattening his afro.
The whole crowd was silent as the dust cleared, accept for Aokiji who was too afraid to look who it was.
The rest of the world
Everyone's mouths dropped to ground, just wondering what the hell was going on. Luffy and Ace, stared curiously at the scene. Since they were looking for the same kid, their crews, along with the Heart Pirates, decided to combine their efforts. And after almost ripping to Marineford to stop the announcement about being related to Roger, Ace saw a small blur fall on Sengoku's head. Ace and Luffy, as well as everyone else on their crews could only stare at who it was.
Back at Marineford
"Itai…" Amanda rubbed the back of her head painfully. She looked around herself, and noticed she landed on a black bush of some kind, that had a weird texture- a hedge maybe?
"Oi! Manda!" She looked up to Darius who was waving down at her. "You okay?"
"Yeah. This giant bush broke my fall!" She grinned.
"Uh…Manda…I don't think that's a bush." Her brother observed.
"Really?" She tilted her head in confusion. "I thought it was hair at first, but then I thought no one would dare go outside in an afro like this, so it had to be a mobile chia pet!"
"God! Not those things again! Plants should not have faces, they shouldn't!" Darius grabbed his head in annoyance.
"I know, right? So-" She was cut off by being lifted up by her petticoat, and low and loud groan.
"GRRAW!" Sengoku growled and stood up, still holding the girl by her shirt collar. He glared at the child, who he was now holding, who looked rather terrified.
"GAAH!" She kicked out of Sengoku's grip, cutting the Fleet Admiral off by surprise. "Darius! You gotta see this! The chia pet's alive! A living chia-pet!" She pointed, shocked at the dumbfounded and steadily growing-furious fleet admiral. "He looks like Dark Vadar!"
"What the hell is a Dark Vadar, you brat?" The fleet admiral finally snapped. "And what do you mean chia-pet, do you have any idea how long it took me to get my afro like this?"
Darius hopped down, to join his sister and stood beside her. "Uh…well however long it took you, you might have to redo it."
"What…?" The fleet admiral asked slowly. And felt his head, and to his dismay, his afro of the earth, had become a surfboard of the earth. It was as flat as a pancake. After he stopped feeling his hair, he looked down at the two children looking around themselves curiously. "My hair is ruined, my beautiful afro is ruined, thanks to you."
"On the plus side, it takes years off your face." Amanda said cheerfully.
Sengoku was about to snap, but Garp put a hand on his shoulder with a big grin. "Oh come on Sengoku, lighten up, these kids were obviously just horsing around, until one of them slipped and fell on you. You should be proud of protecting a civilian's life sir!"
"They aren't civilians, they're terrorists!" The fleet admiral yelled, pointing at them. He suddenly turned on the kids again. "Whose kid are you? Tell me who they are, so I can remind them just what good parenting is!"
"We don't have parents, they died." Amanda replied, while Darius just looked annoyed.
"Oh, then…tell me who they were, so I can place it in your record!" Sengoku demanded.
"We didn't know who they were either, moron." Darius replied.
"What the hell? How can you talk about this so casually? How the hell did you get in here, anyways?" Sengoku demanded.
At this, Darius put on a smirk. "Why, none other than the honorable Admiral Aokiji of course." He sent a pointed look, to the admiral who had been attempting to sneak off the stage in the midst of the madness.
"Aokiji? What the hell? Whose kids are these? Why the hell did you bring them here?" The admiral seemed to forget they were on tv.
"Uh…" He suddenly shoved forward by Kizaru, so now the ice admiral was on center stage with Sengoku, Garp, and the two demon children from hell. "Protective custody." He answered lamely.
"Protective custody?" Sengoku asked indignantly. "You're kidding right?"
"This is what I call a celebration." Kizaru said from the background. The shocked lava admiral had yet to say anything.
"It's true." Aokiji put his hands in his pocket and actually started off in a believable story. "I initially ran into the girl, Amanda, in Alabasta and she was buying a soda, and then-"
"Aokiji-kun, I commend you for being concerned about the girl's health, but drinking soda at her age isn't illegal." Sengoku interrupted with a sweat-drop.
"I'm not finished!" Aokiji exclaimed. "Anyways, she started to ask the bartender about…!" He suddenly felt a very sharp kick in the shin by Darius.
"Oops, I saw bee on your leg, I thought I might squash it before it stung you." He said in a monotone voice, obviously lying.
"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" Aokiji yelled at him.
"No, I saw bee and squashed it, right Manda-chan?" He crossed his arms over his head.
"It's fine Darius, Akoji-san can tell them." She responded.
"Akoji-san?" Akainu spoke up from his chair. "Why are you mispronouncing his name on purpose?"
"Simple, the name 'Aokiji' is too choppy and harsh on my tongue, so 'Akoji-san' is much better!" The girl smiled at the grumpy admiral.
"Whatever." Akainu decided to let it go. "Aokiji, speak, what happened?"
"…She was performing a magic trick, and we got handcuffed together." He said quickly.
At that, Amanda and Darius fell over. "WHAT? THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED AT ALL, YOU BASTARD! WASN'T THAT THE STUPID STORY YOU CAME UP WITH TEN CHAPTERS AGO?" Amanda yelled. She shoved Sengoku out of the way, and grabbed the mike. "The truth is people…THIS IDIOT TRIED TO ARREST ME, THEN A THIEF IN THE MARKET BUMPED INTO US, AND HE FREAKIN' HANDCUFFED HIMSELF TO ME!"
"HEY! AT LEAST MAKE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS HOW IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" The admiral yelled.
"HOW COULD I DO THAT? THE WHOLE THING WAS YOUR FAULT! IT WAS YOUR FAULT WE ALMOST DROWNED TEN TIMES IN THE COURSE OF A DAY, IT WAS YOUR FAULT THAT WE ALMOST BOILED LIKE LOBSTERS IN A POT, AND IT WAS YOUR FAULT THE WHOLE SITUATION WAS LONG AND DRAWN OUT!" She yelled at him.
"HOW IS IT MY FAULT, YOU'RE ONE WHO REFUSED TO COOPERATE!" He argued.
"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO REFUSED FIND ANOTHER MARINE WITH A PAIR OF KEYS TO THE STUPID HANDCUFFS! THANKS TO THE FEAR OF YOUR REPUTATION BEING RUINED, WE ENDED UP ON A WEEK-AND-A-HALF LONG WILD GOOSE-CHASE!" Amanda pointed out.
"So, this wasn't a kidnapping or terrorist case?" Kizaru asked amused.
At this, the child and the admiral finally stopped yelling at each other. "No, he/she's just an idiot." They said at the same time, pointing to each other.
"I'd have to disagree with that." Everyone turned to the familiar voice; Aokiji, Amanda, and Darius paled. It was Rob Lucci, along with the rest of CP9, and they seemed to be protecting someone in the back of them.
"Guess it's not Roswald." Kizaru reluctantly kept his giddiness hidden.
"Out of my way." The CP9 members did as they were told, and out in front of the admiral and two children. Aokiji crouched into a bow immediately, and went back over to his seat. Garp looked on nervously, not sure what was going to happen here.
Amanda and Darius observed everyone's now serious behavior, and looked up at the strange person in front of them. Darius thought the guy looked like an astronaut, while Amanda was rather nauseated by his appearance in general. He had a pointed hairdo, a snotty nose, dressed in a space suit with a fishbowl over his head, and was very fat. They looked curiously at the small bazooka in his hand. The red-head was the first to speak. "Anyone going to tell us who the guy pretending to be an astronaut is?"
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