This is going to be long… so you'd better get comfortable. XD
Disclaimer: Yes, even these do not belong to me.
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"Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart
Why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together."
Better Together - Jack Johnson
x
Chapter 21: Heart and Soul
Kaoru woke to a heavy feeling of comfort and warmth, a lingering touch of the sedative soaking her brain in complacency, even as she fought it with the knowledge that something was missing. Blinking open tired eyes, she stared incoherently at the empty side of the futon before her, her hands curled into the sheets as if they were her lover. Sighing as she realized the indent had indeed been made by Kenshin, the coolness of the blankets a testament to how long they had been vacant of a human presence, she let her eyes slide closed once again, her heart as heavy as the rest of her body. Heavy with fear and a touch of hopelessness.
It had happened again. Like he had warned her it could. On that day so many years ago when she had innocently asked to share his name, he had told her a truth she was only now beginning to realize. That because she was his, because she belonged to him, there would be many who would exploit this fact.
Never before had this thought scared her. Never before had she felt any form of worry or anxiety. Because before, she had been a child; one with no doubt in her mind that the man she looked up to and loved could protect her in the way he swore he would. Because before she had been innocent… and last night, that innocence had truly been taken from her childish mind.
Birds chirped in the yard outside her shoji and she sighed again. Kenshin had a weakness. A weakness for a girl who called his master father and looked at him with awe and admiration. A girl who knew nothing else but the claim he had placed on her and the joy she drew from his presence and attention. This weakness would be his undoing, but not because he wasn't strong enough. But because she was not strong enough.
In all her years of training she had struggled to achieve strength, for an ability to protect herself and be a warrior like Kenshin. When she was a child of seven she had begun her initiation to the sword and the ways of Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu. At eight she had turned that training to another use; of discovery and creation. No longer were the thoughts in her mind merely to make herself strong, but to invent a way to win a fight without actually killing one's opponent. This had been for her own peace of mind, but she could not deny that she had done this for Kenshin as well. In all that time, between all those kata, she had lost focus of her own strength and in the process weakened herself.
That she was strong was not the point. Her mastery of the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu was teetering on the edge of perfection. Only a few more steps and she would be complete with her work. Even Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu had few secrets from her and they were all in the actual physical use. But all of this knowledge merely made her stronger than the average, possibly nearing great. What she was lacking was the will to use it. Because up unto that point she had felt no real need to exceed her normal training. Up unto that point, every opponent she had faced was, in comparison to Kenshin, a nobody. But on that day before, she had come to realize, she was wasting talent on mediocrity. She was letting herself become a burden out of laziness. Because she relied on Kenshin too much.
Struggling to banish her spiraling thoughts, Kaoru commanded her muscles to lift her, not surprised when they whined and complained. Just do as your told. I will not have any of this weakness any longer. Scolding herself, Kaoru shivered when the cool air brushed over her arms. Seated, she yanked the heavy blanket back up around her shoulders and stared around the room, not quite sure what to do. Her body felt too heavy to move, but she didn't want to just sit in bed for the rest of the day either.
I was supposed to be at work at nine. Looking to the clock she ducked her head into her chest at the bright red numbers. Kenshin had let her sleep in until one in the afternoon, though she didn't think she could blame it entirely on him. Megumi's sedative probably had a lot to do with her indisposition. "Great." Muttering to herself sulkily, she pulled on her legs to situate them under her.
Minutes later and she was dozy with the emptiness of her thoughts, her body swaying where she sat, and she missed the soft whoosh of the shoji as it slid open. A light chuckle made her lips curl involuntarily, and she lifted her lashes to look up at Kenshin's amused features.
"What are you doing?" The smile on his lips was soft and affectionate, his words clearly full of laughter with a touch of chastisement. Shrugging her shoulders, she snuggled herself further into the thick comforter, bringing the blanket up to her nose. Sitting down the steaming cup he carried in his hands, Kenshin knelt next to her on the futon, immediately lifting an arm to place the soft skin of his inner wrist against her forehead. "Your fever's lessened. That's good." At this point his hand disappeared to delve into his pocket, fishing out two small bottles of pills. "Megumi prescribed you some antibiotics to prevent infection, and some painkillers. You're going to be pretty out of it for a while, so no major activity." His voice was soothing, and Kaoru hummed in response, her eyes lazy as they searched his face.
Two bright pills were shook out into his palm and he set the bottles aside before turning back to her, his smile widening. "I don't suppose I have to ask how you are feeling. You look about as content as a cat." Two fingers lightly slid across her skin, brushing back a lock of her bangs before dipping down to smooth under her chin. Blinking, Kaoru smiled again, letting him pop the pills into her mouth one at a time and then help her with the hot tea to wash them down.
Finished with that chore, Kaoru expected for him to leave, his hands already cleaning up the little mess on the floor. Instead of picking everything up and walking to the door, however, he turned back to her, his fingers once again lifting to play with her hair. "You smell different today."
Confused as to why that should matter, Kaoru self-consciously fluffed the blankets higher around her at his frown. "I'm sorry? I showered at the clinic last night. I had to use the shampoo and things that Megumi supplied to me." Pursing her lips, she frowned and ducked her head away from his fingers. "Unless you're trying to tell me I stink?"
Lips quirking, Kenshin dropped his now free hand to smooth down her back. "Iie. You don't stink. Just… smell different." The small frown reappeared and Kaoru studied it, completely mystified. "I can't help but not like it." At this point, Kaoru giggled, her teeth pinching her lower lip between them when his eyes narrowed into a mock glare.
"Here." Leaning to the side, her movement strengthening the contact of his hand on the small of her back, she stretched out an arm to point at the dresser behind him. "Hand that bottle to me." There was a pause, a clenching of the material at her back, and she was surprised by the stiffness in the muscles her outstretched arm brushed against. Looking slightly up into his face, she found dark violet eyes trained on hers. "Kenshin?" And the moment was gone, his features once again smiling and harmless.
The small bottle was quickly collected and passed to her, and Kaoru leaned back away from his warmth to sit straight, letting the comforter puddle at her waist. Uncorking the opening, she tipped it over two fingers, letting enough of the liquid touch her skin to wet it, then brushed them over the inside skin of her elbows, since her wrists were otherwise covered. Repeating the process, she applied the perfume to her neck, her temples and lastly patting her hands together to smooth the smell over her hair. Sitting the bottle aside, Kaoru shifted back to Kenshin, his eyes watching her movements curiously, before lifting an arm for his perusal. "There, is that better?"
Jasmine was already wafting to his nostrils, had been from the moment she had opened the small bottle. Somehow more relaxed in the wake of the familiar and well loved scent, he grinned playfully. Wrapping his fingers around her offered forearm, he bypassed the silky skin there for the crook of her jaw. "Mmm, much better."
Butterflies fluttered and danced inside her lower stomach, jerking in a gasp at such bold actions. Dilated sapphire irises stared blindly at the ceiling, glazed with the sudden onslaught of anxiety, hope and pleasure. Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. Afraid of doing something wrong, of mistaking his actions for more than just mischievous banter, Kaoru forced her muscles to stay quiet and still. It was hard. So very difficult with the way his nose gently grazed her neck and his breath ghosted down under the collar of her shirt, heating her chest intimately. When he finally pulled away a mixture of relief and disappointment battled within her, furrowing her brow and wrinkling her eyes closed.
"Kaoru." Her name, accompanied by the tender stroke of his fingers on her cheek. It was a wonderful combination of sound and touch, her lips trembling at the absence of that hated honorific. Eyelashes sweeping open slowly, bright sapphire met the soft violet of his and she smiled to return the affectionate expression. "There is something I've been wanting to talk to you about." A look she wasn't sure of curled his features and the smile melted off her face, fearing the worst.
"N-nani?"
The entire width of his palm came to cover her cheek, from the corner of her lips to the line of her hair, his thumb delicately tracing her cheekbone, careful of her black eye. "I don't want you to be afraid." The words only heightening her anxiety, Kaoru bit her lip and nodded her head, trying to hide the tremble of her muscles. He smiled, and Kaoru thanked Kami that he was too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice. "I've had much time to think about this. More so after… I last saw you, nearly three years ago." His other hand came up, cupping her face tenderly, his eyes steady, delving into hers and holding her so that she could barely breath. "So much has happened, and I just wanted to tell you…" Abruptly, his eyes lowered, the tilt of his eyelids sad, and then his chin lifted and he was gazing across at the closed shoji. Even though the furrow remained between his eyebrows, there was no anger or irritation, only resignation as a deep sigh pulled at his lungs. Mere seconds later a knock sounded on the wooden door.
"Kaoru-san, I've come to check on your bandages." Megumi's voice rang through the barrier, and Kenshin's hands slipped from her face.
"We'll talk later." As he stood to answer the door personally, Kaoru let the breath she had been holding flow free. Something different was happening here. Something she found she could rightly be angry at Megumi for interrupting. But how could she have known that Kenshin was in here talking to me about something important. Stop being so petty. All she's done is help. Pouting, Kaoru tucked her chin into her chest, pulling the blankets back up around her chilled form.
"And how is our patient doing, Ken-san?" There was no surprise in her voice that he was there.
"Her fever has lessened. And I just gave her the medication you dropped off this morning."
"Ah, I see my sedative did not wear off until just recently then." Satisfied with Kenshin's report, Megumi glided forward and knelt in front of Kaoru's hunched form, her hands lifting to imitate what Kenshin had done when she had first awoken. "Very good, no more danger from the fever. How are your wrists and ankles feeling?" Careful fingers cradled and probed Kaoru's wrists, divesting her of the bandages covering the broken tissue to inspect how they were healing. "I think the swelling's going down." Her smile was warm, happy with the progress already. After inspecting her ankles in much the same fashion, she lifted a hand to her blackened eye. "Your skin is not as puffy as yesterday here. It should yellow out soon enough, though it will be tender for awhile. Now…" Standing, she waved a hand to Kenshin. "I need to check your other injuries, but that would be done much better in the bathroom where I can help clean them if needed. Kenshin, will you carry her please?"
"I can walk."
"Sure you can, honey."
Kaoru pursed her lips and glared at Megumi's back, wondering if there was anything within reach to throw at the woman. Kenshin's chuckle informed her that he had seen the look and read it well. "Now, now, Kaoru, that wouldn't do." Gently his arms lifted her up out of the blankets and against his chest.
"Are you quite sure?" Responding to his teasing, she smiled when he did, resting her head on his shoulder when she was overtaken by a yawn. "I'm not a child anymore." Voice quiet and turning slightly petulant with the darkening thoughts she had awoken with, she lost the jovial mood.
Pausing in the hallway, Kenshin looked down at her, his features serious and clear. "What makes you think you are being treated like a child?"
Dammit, baka! Now look what you've done. "I'm sorry, Kenshin. I know both of you are only helping. Don't mind me, ok? I'm just a little grumpy is all." She smiled and forced a laugh, and inwardly sighed when he moved on. Inside the bathroom, he sat her down on a stool where Megumi indicated, and left with a smile and a reassurance that he would have something for her to eat when they were done.
Megumi made quick work of her bandages on this visit, her voice soothing as she talked nearly nonstop throughout the checkup. There was nothing but praise and relief in her voice about the injuries and Kaoru was glad herself that they were apparently healing nicely. She would need to be fully recovered before she could begin her training again, and she was almost impatient for that moment to come.
Distracted by her thoughts, Kaoru sat obediently where she was when Megumi left to fetch Kenshin again. I need to work on my speed and awareness. Misao will no doubt help me if I ask her to, and Yahiko is always eager to learn, but I really need an opponent that will test me if I want to become stronger. Kenshin is really the only logical choice, since Tousan lives so far away now. I wonder if he would agree to train with me again? Catching violet eyes looking her over thoughtfully, Kaoru smiled and lifted her arms in preparation for him to carry her.
Kenshin paused as he stared down at the woman sitting before him. Her lips were smiling but her blue eyes were covering a seriousness, and with her arms lifted as they were, she looked so much like a little girl he used to know. Bracing her weight carefully, he pulled her into his chest and dropped his forehead into her temple. She stiffened in surprise, and he sighed at her reaction.
"I brought your food into the living room so that you can sit on the couch and eat."
"Umm… ok, Kenshin."
"I hope you don't mind having some leftovers."
"That's fine. As long as you made it, I really don't have much to complain about." She smiled happily at him again, and he frowned, wondering what she was trying to hide. She was acting rather peculiar last night after the fight. Does she really plan on trying to separate herself from me now? Stopping abruptly in his tracks, Kenshin directed his firm gaze on her another time, his words slightly angry.
"I told you already, Kaoru, you will not be taken from me again."
Completely dumbfounded, Kaoru blinked back up at him. "What are you talking about?"
"You are trying to hide something behind that smile of yours, and I do not like it."
"So you think… what exactly? That I'm going to leave you or something?" When he continued to look at her with that serious expression, she gave him a sardonic smile and huffed out a breath of amusement. "Are you serious, Kenshin? I've spent most of my life trying to get you to stay in one spot. Now why would I suddenly want to willing walk away when you are here?"
Kenshin was forced to crack a smile at her logic, and she grinned at being able to break his mood. "I'm sorry for assuming, Kaoru, but… I was afraid what you had said last night might be affecting your decision for… the future." Pausing over the last word, he let the fragile hope of his heart finally come to light.
"I only said what I did last night because… I was tired and not truly thinking straight." Sighing she leaned back into him and let her fingers play with his hair. "Reasonably it would not matter where I was, because they already know about me anyway, right?"
"Hai."
"So don't worry about it. I'm not going anywhere. Besides, this is my home… if I tried anything like that I would have to kick you out, not the other way around. And doing that would take a miracle."
"Then what is wrong?"
"It's… nothing serious, ok? I've just been thinking." Her brows furrowed together and her eyes dropped to watch the passing shoji as they continued on to the living room.
"About?"
"Mou, I don't ever remember you being this pushy."
Violet eyes crinkled in amusement, and Kenshin settled her down on one side of the couch. "I don't remember you being this secretive."
Pursing her lips, she shot him a mock glare as she let him wrap her in a blanket to keep warm. "I just thought… that, none of this would have happened if… if I would have been strong enough to protect myself."
"Kaoru… you were sick, and Jin-e was a strong opponent."
"Does that matter? Even if he was strong, why can't I be strong, too?"
Sighing, Kenshin sat next to her on the couch, scooting the small table closer so that she could eat her food. "You are strong, Kaoru."
"But not strong enough." When his eyes closed she could read his exasperation, and strove to make him understand what she was getting at. "Kenshin, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm stating a fact. One that I want, I need to change." Untangling an arm from the blanket, she reached out a hand and curled her fingers around his. For a moment his gaze lingered on her bandaged wrist, before he met her determined stare. "Kenshin, will you train with me again?"
"Kaoru, you haven't even healed yet. Your body needs rest."
"Rest that it will get. I just need to know that you will help when the time comes."
Lowering his head slightly, he looked again to the fingers twined with his, wondering if either of them had even noticed the collapsing of barriers between them. Loosening his lungs on a sigh, he quirked a smile and shook his head. "There is no doubt that I could use some training of my own." Free hand lifting to cover his injured shoulder, Kenshin fiddled with the texture of bandage beneath his shirt.
Kaoru was grinning when his attention returned to her, and he smiled in amusement at her quick assumptions. Even if they were mostly right. "Good. I knew Yahiko would train with me, but I was afraid this would be too much for him just yet." Eagerly holding her hands out for the tray of food, she settled it firmly on her lap, and picked up her chopsticks. "Oh, and one more thing, Kenshin. Can I please go outside after I eat? I'm sick of being in confined areas. I need some fresh air."
x
Kenshin sat in contentment. With one arm wrapped around Kaoru, her back leaning into him while she dozed, they were positioned in much the same way they used to sit when she was a child napping. Staring fondly down at the head of dark hair pressing into his shoulder, his arm tightened, his eyes closing as he shifted to brace the weight of his skull on her own. She was still so very tired from the previous day's little adventure, and he could not begrudge her the sleep. Only, he wished she would let him take her back to her own room where she would surely be more comfortable. Seated on the hard wooden floor of the engawa, with only a blanket covering her shoulders, was not what he considered appropriate for her condition. Though he had nothing to complain about on his end. He loved being able to hold her again.
The reassuring feel of her body, sitting warm and solid next to his, dispelled the trepidation and impending sense of doom that surrounded his ki. With her safe in his arms the outside world seemed of little consequence. Like it always had with her so near. It was strange, and though he had never truly dissected the sensation before, he wondered at the way protectively cradling her against those who would hurt her made him feel safe. Just as his arms shielded her from pain and suffering, her ki produced the same for him. Circling him like a wall to deflect any blow aimed at his personage. And as the years had passed and he had grown used to the warmth, taking her protection for granted, he had accidentally stumbled upon the emotion waiting patiently behind it.
Love. An unconditional, unquestionable, unrestrained emotion that gave without any need to receive. Coherently he had felt the sensation tickle his heart. Consciously he had blocked out the budding awareness in fear and denial. It had confused a man that had been away for too long, only to come back to a woman grown. Unsure of the reasons that had produced such a notion, he had tossed them all aside in favor of continuing on as if nothing had or would ever change. On that one day, three years before, he had shut down the emotion before it had fully developed. Effectively denying him the opportunity to observe and investigate it with a clear mind.
But drunk… he had felt no inhibitions about acting upon a sentiment that his heart knew to be right. Thoughts centered only on the light brush of her lips and the soft scrap of her calloused fingers on his skin, he had responded. There had been no sense of wrong in his actions. No niggling idea that he was defiling something sacred and pure. His instincts had driven him to those stolen moments and his instincts were rarely incorrect. Standing solid and unwavering within his mind he had seen the reasoning behind the allowance and had not questioned it. Kaoru was his. He was Kaoru's. They belonged together. And behind that the knowledge that he would do anything for her to make her happy. Happiness mostly coincided with what one wanted… and at that moment she had wanted something more substantial from him. A more intimate showing of their mutual love and affection.
It still hurt thinking about how that night had ended. He had never meant to upset her, but at that time, he had not been ready. And in hindsight he could almost thank his master for being the father and kicking him out of the house. Almost. For the days following that night had been horrible, and living away from her acceptance and warmth had been a nightmare. He wouldn't be able to do it a second time, and he only hoped that occurrence would not be required by the events that were sure to follow this kidnapping.
The fact that Shishio was behind it made his heart ache in fear for her. From everything he had heard about the man, he was ruthless and intelligent. He would exploit every weakness he could to gain an advantage over his target. Using Kaoru was a given, and he wouldn't be able to bear having her in harms way a third time.
"I must become stronger."
Her thoughts echoed softly through his head and he sighed. So it would seem, little one. We must both become stronger to overcome this obstacle in our path. We cannot continue on with this life I dream about until it is taken care of.
"Kenshin?"
Lifting his head so she could shift hers, he watched as she turned her eyes to meet his, the blue of her irises deep and nearing black. Sleepily she yawned, one hand lifting to rub at her lashes. "Have I been asleep long?" Words from the past echoed to him, and he grinned at her unconscious mimic.
"No, not long, Kaoru."
"Oh good. I didn't…" Another yawn stilled her breath, and she shook her head to try and rid herself of it. "…want to take up your time. I'm sure you have better things to do than baby-sit me."
Softly his arm pulled her closer and he snuggled his nose behind her ear. "There is nothing better for me."
A blush darkened her face, her skin warming with the flush of blood under its surface, and Kaoru turned her head away to hide the telling sign of pleasure. "Ano…" Stuttering, she shifted her weight and balled her hands in her lap. "Thank you." He spoke nothing in response, and she took a breath in the silence that descended upon them. His actions were… disconcerting, though enjoyable. For even though she had come to the decision over his feelings for her, she never thought he would seriously let them show again. Not after what had happened the last time. Casting about for something to distract herself from the heat ghosting down the nape of her neck, she cleared her throat and brought up a recently interrupted conversation. "So… what were you wanting to talk to me about earlier?"
Kenshin sucked in a deep breath through his nostrils, releasing the air just as slowly. Nerves tangled and knotted inside his gut, pulling at his navel and distracting his thoughts. This was that moment he had longed for. The conversation he had worked toward that entire week. And the setting was perfect. No one would disrupt them this time. Not with Yahiko cleaning the training hall and Misao tagging along with Megumi back to the clinic. And still he struggled with the right thing to say.
"Kaoru… I think, it's time we talked about what happened. Three years ago."
Carefully pushing away, Kaoru twisted so that they were facing one another, her eyes large. "D-do we have to?" Voice barely tangible, she tried to laugh when he smiled softly.
"Yes. There were too many misunderstandings to ignore on that night, Kaoru."
"Hai." Trying to steady her heart she let her head drop slightly, her bangs falling to shade her eyes. "I'm sorry, Kenshin. F-for what I did. I didn't mean… for you to go. But I guess you couldn't stay, after what I said, ne?"
"No. Kaoru, you shouldn't take all of the blame." One hand brought her face back level with his. "That belongs to me. I insisted on treating you like something you were not. You grew up on me too fast, little one, and I… I felt like I had not grown at all." His smile was rueful and she stared at his expression warily. "I was too confused to try and talk to you then, and my bumbling only made the situation worse. I sometimes do not wonder if we were both too young. I know that I was too drunk. If I had not been, it would never have happened the way it did." Dark brows furrowing together, Kaoru felt a warning twinge of anger.
"So what you're really saying is that alcohol was your excuse and age was mine?" Tears shimmered on the edges of her lashes, and her lip quivered at the unwavering way his irises studied hers. "Does either of those really matter when it's not your brain that decides such a thing?" He said nothing, and she held in a hiccup at his silence, the sound coming slightly out of her nose. "How can you claim to know better when you still treat me like a chi…?"
Her words died with the press of his lips on hers, and she trembled at the jerk of emotion in her chest. The hands she had forgotten about still framed her face, their slight tug the cause of her current predicament. No other part of their bodies touched, and she let her eyes fall shut at the undemanding kiss. The caress was full of reassurance, and a deep relief, calming her nerves tenderly, and she felt the sigh of his own being echo her liberation. Too soon, he was pulling back, and she half-followed his retreat in a bid to keep the connection.
"You were not listening, Kaoru. I was not making up excuses for either of us." Carefully his fingers swept over her cheekbones, her eyelashes a feathering brush on his skin. "I was confused, and it was not because I was drunk. I think I was more aware of my feelings when I was. It was because I was fighting an emotion that was trying to break free. An emotion I felt I had no right to carry. Not for you."
Taking a deep breath, Kaoru lifted her fingers to circle his wrists, her lungs shuddering. "Because I am too young."
"No, koishii." There was a smile in his voice that softened the endearment, slipping it through her senses like warm sunshine. "Because I thought myself too old." Her lips pursed and he chuckled at her amusement. "I did not think you would be content with someone like me. Not when you could have someone your own age. I think this angered me the most when you asked me about Hiroshi. My first instinct was to tell you no. Demand that you go nowhere near that boy." Her lips trembled over a smile this time, and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Then later, with Sanosuke. I was rather inclined to kick his ass back out into the street when he showed up at three in the morning looking for you."
"Kenshin." Mildly scolding, but amused, Kaoru tilted her head to the side.
"I didn't, did I?"
"Only because I interrupted you."
Shaking his head, he sighed again. "Then… with the boy at the club. I was jealous. I didn't want you around them. Because I was afraid they would take you away from me. Afraid that they already had."
"Nobody has taken me away from you, Kenshin. Nobody can."
Leaning forward, he braced his forehead on hers. "I was given too much to think about and come to terms with on that day. There was no time for me to find a desirable solution. You, on the other hand, had already found it and decided. Unfortunately, I was not prepared for such a quick outcome. I had not figured out my own feelings yet."
It was Kaoru's turn to laugh softly. "It was too soon for you, and I was growing impatient."
"We do seem to have rather bad timing."
"You think so?"
"Hai, and alcohol loves to bring out the best in us as well." Laughing again, Kenshin readjusted his position and coaxed Kaoru into snuggling back against his chest.
"Mou, Kenshin, what are you getting at?"
"Well, koishii, there was something else you said last weekend that I found mildly interesting."
"Huh?" Squeaking in surprise, Kaoru twisted to stare at him in alarm. "But you…"
"Didn't say anything because I did not think it the right time to discuss. Especially since you couldn't remember anything outside of falling into the car to go home."
"Good grief, my tongue must have been especially loose if you got all of these wonderful confessions out of me."
"Hmmm… this little bit of information was the most pleasing I think." Mischievously he wrapped a strand of dark hair around his forefinger.
"Oh?" Lifting an eyebrow in a sign that she could not believe that, he chuckled, his fingers slipping from her hair to run lightly over her cheek.
"Oh quite. After explaining, in very… persuasive tones, that you do not like others touching you, you went on to inform me that you don't mind so much… when I do." Her eyes widened, and she blinked, apparently speechless. Smiling, almost wickedly, he let his fingers trail to her neck in remembrance. "Then, koishii, you proceeded to show me how."
"Mou." Voice nearly inaudible, she lifted the blanket to cover her face, her ears a very stunning red.
Laughing openly, Kenshin hugged her closer. "Relax, koishii, you were not totally explicit." Tugging softly on the blanket, encouraging her to show her face, he kissed the crown of her head. "Besides you got sick shortly afterwards."
"Ooh, I didn't puke on you did I?" Thoroughly mortified, Kaoru pouted at the embarrassing spectacle she had undoubtedly made of herself.
"No, you had enough sense to run to the bathroom."
"Thank Kami-sama. It's bad enough I tried to seduce you. If I had thrown up on you too…"
"Yes, that would have been anything but pleasing. Though I don't think you trying to seduce me was really all that bad. Especially since I was nearly willing to let you."
"Is… is that why you've been acting a little strange all week?"
"Strange?" One red eyebrow lifted. "Partly." His voice was still clearly amused as he conceded her point and Kaoru sighed as she settled back against him. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she burrowed closer to the warmth imprisoning her, hoping in her heart and soul that this was what she thought it was. That after all of this was said and done, Kenshin would belong to her. The way she wanted him to. "There are too many motives to name for my reasons, but I guess… I was tired of knowing that… I love you… and seeing how not showing it affected both of us." Fingers tightened in the front of his shirt, and he felt the telling pressure of her nose digging into his sternum.
"I love you too, Kenshin. I always have." Biting her lip against the knot in her chest, she sniffed once to stall the tears. Then in a forceful action that her muscles cried over in defiance and pain, she wrenched herself to her knees, her eyes angry and hurt. "If you knew this then why didn't you say so when you came back? Why did you… force such a distance between us? Why?" Her voice broke in the midst of her anger, the rest of her words watery with the liquid dripping from her lashes. Heart clenching sorrowfully in her chest, the painful look on his face did nothing to help her mood.
"Kaoru…" Sword calloused hands came back to cup her face, violet eyes dark with sympathy and regret. "My reasons for coming back were purely selfish. I thought, by that time, you would have already moved on. I didn't think you would still be waiting. I didn't even know if what you had said on that night was even true. I was afraid you would have figured out your own emotions by now and… loving me would not be a part of them." Her mouth opened to argue, and he leaned forward, his lips pressing against her forehead, effectively stilling her so he could continue. "My other fear had more to do with this feeling of obligation you seem to have for me. With everything we have been through together, I was afraid that if I had let you know my true feelings, you would only agree to anything I said because you felt you had no other choice. Not out of any real desire to… to be with me. I have claimed for too many years that you belong to me." Softly his fingers brushed over the hidden tattoo on her shoulder. "I was afraid I had truly made you believe that. Not because I didn't want you to be, but because… maybe you didn't want to be."
"I… have never thought about it like that before, Kenshin."
The words were thoughtful, and inside that statement he wondered at what her mind contemplated. Violet eyes clenching shut, his heart shook with doubt. Had he done right by telling her, even now? Was he wrong in this? Did she truly only love him out of an obligation? Much the way a child loves their parents, did she feel an emotion that was born from knowing no other way? Please, not now. I couldn't take it. I have already given you my heart. Don't smash it to pieces. His arms tightened unconsciously, a desire to not let go prompting the action.
"I guess I understand now what you were trying to tell me last weekend. I'm sorry I took it the wrong way, Kenshin." Loving the embrace surrounding her, Kaoru curled her fingers around his ribs and hugged him back. "I wish I had understood. I don't like it when we argue."
Relaxing, violet eyes parted, blinking at her words while his mind laughed at his reaction. You should have more trust in your koishii. Softly she sighed, the sound full of contentment and the banishing of tears. Smiling shakily, suddenly aware that they had passed this obstacle and were now together as he had only ever dreamed about, he rested his head on the top of her own. Her next statement made his eyes crinkle in amusement.
"Kenshin… this means you belong to me now, too, you know. You can't ever leave me again."
"Hai, koishii. I wouldn't dream of it."
"Good. I wouldn't want to have to track you down and beat some sense into you. Though I will if you push me." Her words were matter-of-fact, and he laughed softly, loving the next contented sigh that fell from her lips. "Tell me again, Kenshin. Tell me you love me."
Combing his fingers through her hair, he curled her closer, his words soft and meaningful. "I love you, Kaoru… little one… koishii."
"Hmmm, will you tell me again later?"
"Hai."
"And tomorrow?"
"Hai." His tone smiled.
"And the next day? And the day after that?"
"And for the rest of our lives… if you like."
"Yatta."
"Hmm… Yahiko."
"No, I said 'yatta' not Yahiko." Poking him in the ribs, she pursed her lips when he laughed.
"Well, I think Yahiko needs to speak with you anyway."
"Nani? But I just got comfortable." Burrowing harder against him in defiance, she flattened her ear over his chest and tried to tell herself that it was his heart beating she heard and not the boy's feet pounding on the engawa.
"Kaoru-sensei! Master Hiko is on the phone for you!" Panting followed his announcement, and Kaoru grumbled.
"Tell him I'm sleeping."
"But…" Kenshin laughed at his dismay.
"Oh, give me the phone." Pulling the receiver from the boy's hand, she sat up, her form quivering only slightly in fatigue. "Good afternoon, Tousan! Are you getting lonely again?"
"Don't give me that, girl. I'm calling to hear how you are, especially since that boy hasn't been taking care of you like he should."
"Tousan… you know this is different."
"Don't worry, I will be speaking with him next. Now tell me what happened."
Kaoru sighed, and shot a look at Kenshin, her eyes rolling and a grin pulling on her lips. "I'm sure he's going to appreciate the lecture." Another irritated remark came over the speaker, and Kaoru giggled. "But you know I only tease you 'cause I love you, right? Besides, you make it too much fun."
Hiko sighed on the other end, his being relaxing. If she could joke at a time like this, then she wasn't that hurt. When he had received that call from the police chief early in the morning, his heart had almost wrenched out of his chest. Fear and a fatherly instinct had demanded he leave and travel to Tokyo, but reason had suggested that it would not matter now. Kenshin had rescued her already by that time. And with the anger his apprentice carried within him, there was no way someone else would have been able to get near her again. Not when he had seen that single-minded rage take him over once before because of her.
"Then you were not hurt, little dragon?"
"Nothing serious, Tousan. I was more angry than hurt."
Hiko laughed, knowing all too well what her anger would have consisted of as well. He hoped she gave that bastard an earful too. Though she was probably more ashamed that she had been captured at all. There was no doubt Hiko could guess she blamed herself for the situation. Though it is not your fault, Kaoru… this problem was born many years ago when that boy ran off to join the war.
"Alright, little dragon. Let me speak with the boy now."
Kaoru turned and handed the phone to Kenshin, smiling when red-brows dropped in trepidation.
"Yes, Hiko-sama?" There was a pause, inside which Kenshin cringed, waiting for the anger to spill out of the speaker and crush him where he sat.
"The police chief told me everything, boy, and I think it is safe to assume that this Shishio is not alone. There may be more men working for him than just this Udo Jin-e. Keep your eyes open."
Kenshin relaxed, wondering at Hiko's strange attitude. "Hai, shishou. I had thought the same thing."
"Good. I had hoped I did not waste all of my time raising an idiot." Frowning, Kenshin's lips twisted. "Make sure you watch and include the others, as well. That Sagara Sanosuke is a better fighter than you think. He will be an asset if you're in a bind. And Misao-chan has progressed in her studies as well. Both have trained with Kaoru and like many opponents do, they learned off one another. Also… I think it is time I talked with that old man at the Aoi-ya. Shinomori-san needs to be found, and with Shishio in the country, I have a feeling he won't be too far behind."
"That would be greatly appreciated, shishou. It will certainly make someone very happy."
"I'm sure." There was another pause before Hiko spoke again, his voice full of an uncharacteristic uncertainty and worry. "The girl is alright, isn't she?"
Smiling softly, Kenshin ran a hand down Kaoru's back, her form once again snuggled into his chest. She hummed softly in contentment at his actions, and he relaxed his head onto hers as he answered. "Hai, shishou. Nothing that will not pass within a week or so."
There was a sigh on the other end, the noise echoing as if he were trying to conceal it, then he abruptly became gruff once more. "Good. If it happens again, I might just kill you myself. Goodbye."
Laughing as he hung up the phone, Kenshin placed the receiver gently on the floor and encircled Kaoru once again within his arms. Seconds passed in silence as Kaoru lay softly against him, her being relaxing back into an almost sleep. It was then that Kenshin noticed the boy's presence still lingered, and when he turned his head in question dark eyes dropped quickly from his scrutiny of their position. There was a flinch in the action, and Kenshin felt a touch of trepidation and sadness, afraid he had frightened the boy. Yahiko had barely spoken since the day before. Was he truly scared of his identity?
Nudging her gently, Kenshin worked to bring Kaoru's attention back to consciousness. "Kaoru… I think your student wishes to speak with you." His voice whispered into her ear, and blue eyes parted curiously at the tone. Directing her gaze toward the boy, she twisted up into a sitting position, confused to find his slightly stiff form still frozen on the engawa.
"Yahiko?"
Her voice seemed to snap at his tense muscles, and she jumped when he abruptly flattened himself into a submissive bow. Squeaking, she had to consciously keep herself from reaching out and smacking him, worried over his uncharacteristically respectful actions. Even if he was creeping her out. "What is wrong with you?"
"Sensei, I don't understand. I need you to teach me."
Shifting to stall time, dark brows curled together as Kaoru puzzled over what he was speaking of. "What do you not understand, Yahiko?"
Silence strained the air between them, and Yahiko's fingers twitched as he searched for the right words to speak. "I… I don't mean any offense, Sensei, but… from everything that I have learned from you since you took me in… it does not… add up with everything I have learned since last night."
Kaoru relaxed, and a smile pulled at her lips. Now that she knew what was worrying the boy, she felt securer in her ability to handle the situation. "Do not worry, Yahiko. You will offend no one by speaking your mind. As your teacher I am here to help you. Now… first, tell me what you do understand, so I may help you figure out that which you don't."
Yahiko lifted his head and frowned, unsure of what she was expecting of him. Sitting back on his feet, he raked a hand through his hair and looked out toward the wall. "I understand… that…" Swallowing, he ground his teeth in anger at not being able to express what he felt properly. Impatient slightly with this method she had chosen. But she was his teacher, and he had never respected nor understood that bond as much as he had in the last twenty-four hours.
"The Kamiya Kasshin-ryu is a sword style based off of the idea that killing is unnecessary. That one can beat an opponent by conquering their spirit with one's own. Because of the teachings of Kamiya Kasshin-ryu, one's spirit is cleansed and revitalized, giving an edge over those that have been taught no other way. I also understand that because of this, one's spirit is also burdened, with the restriction to keep oneself from giving into the easy win. This requires one to push oneself to become quicker. To think quicker. To act quicker. To reason quicker. To always keep oneself one step ahead of one's opponent, for though our spirits are not weighed down with the blood of past victims, our spirits are limited by our vow not to take life."
"They will always take the quickest way to victory." Nodding, Kaoru supplied him with what he seemed to be struggling to explain. But her eyes smiled as she looked at her student with pride. You have learned so much, Yahiko. And not all of it has been explained to you. "What else?"
"I also understand… that you created this technique on your own. That the idea was purely yours. And though I don't understand how you have accomplished it, I do understand that it is a great style, and that you have given me a chance to not only learn how to protect myself, but to live honorably. But…"
"You understand quite a bit, Yahiko-kun." Smoothly her voice cut him off, driving his dark eyes back to meet hers. "Now… with everything that you have learned since yesterday, do you also understand what inspired me to create such a technique in the first place?"
"I…" Yahiko flitted his gaze to the man seated next to her, his violet eyes shielded and distant. "I don't, Kaoru-sensei."
"Yahiko… tell me everything you know about the Hitokiri Battosai."
Thrown slightly by the shift in subject, his eyes once again darted to the red-head, before he bowed his head and studied the hands in his lap. "He… was an assassin for the Choshu Clan. Some say the best there was. Later, he fought more openly for the Revolutionists. He was supposed to be a very deadly man. He killed… a lot of people."
Kaoru turned, her smile warm as she held out her hand to Kenshin. "May I borrow your katana, Kenshin?" Violet eyes looked her over for several long seconds before lifting the weapon slowly and placing it gently in her hands. "Arigato." Turning back to Yahiko, she held the sword out horizontally for his scrutiny. "Look at this katana, Yahiko-kun. Tell me what you see?"
"Uh…" Yahiko lifted an eyebrow, unsure of what he was supposed to be looking for.
"Just study it for a few seconds. Take your time."
Dark eyes drifted over the hilt, down the smooth lacquer of the sheath.
"What did you see last night?" Prompting him, she watched his eyes brighten.
"It's clean. Last night, even with the fight…" Yahiko pictured the man from the night before, seeing the blood that had soaked his shirt and had stained his hands. Some had surely gotten onto his sword, but it was no longer evident. "It's clean."
"Good." There was a note of approval in her voice, making his lips twitch. "Now hold out your hands." Quickly the boy wiped his palms on his pant legs, drying the sweat on his skin. Lifting his arms in anticipation, he jerked in surprise when the full weight of the katana was dropped into his grip.
"It's heavy!"
Kaoru laughed softly. "Hai. The sheath is metal." Giving him a few more minutes of time to look over the weapon in awe, Kaoru finally reached out to take it away. "I have decided on your lesson for the day, Yahiko-kun. I want you to think over everything that you know about the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu and the Hitokiri Battosai. Then I want you to compare them with what you have learned about Himura Kenshin through your examination of his katana. After supper I will hear what you have learned."
Confused, Yahiko opened his mouth to protest, but stopped when she lifted a brow. "Very well, Sensei." Bowing again, Yahiko stood and left, a crease of concentration already forming on his forehead.
Handing Kenshin back his sakabato, Kaoru smiled at the crease of confusion on his own face. "You do not mind my lesson, do you Kenshin?"
"No. You just… have a very curious way of explaining things to your student."
Kaoru laughed and snuggled her temple into his chest. "He's smarter than he looks, but he's impatient. He'll surely understand better after thinking it over for a few hours then if I just explained it now."
x
Police Chief Uramura sighed heavily as he slumped into the chair behind his desk. There was so much to do and seemingly not enough time to do it. Not to mention his resources were sadly lacking. The man he was looking for was a ghost, and in the back of his mind he knew, if the okashira of the Oniwabanshu and the legendary assassin of the Revolutionists couldn't track him down, how could he?
That he had penetrated the boundaries of Japan without being detected then proceeded to send his cronies to harass his enemy showed he was cunning. There was no doubt in the police chief's mind that the man was not alone. And where there was one attack there was sure to be more. And this time Himura-san may not be able to handle it alone. Not with the handicap the girl is to him. Leaning his head back, he stared at the ceiling. And I cannot very well send any reinforcements to protect the Kamiya Dojo knowing that their mission could possibly include more than just the death of Himura Kenshin.
Thoroughly frustrated, as he did not like the thought of anyone dying under his responsibility, he rubbed a hand over both eyes.
"You look tired, Uramura-san."
The voice made him jump, the presence in his office unannounced and unexpected. Jerking himself to his feet, he stared across at the man standing so casually on the other side of his desk.
"May I help you, sir?" Questioning him carefully, dark eyes narrowed as he took in his appearance, causing him to stutter when recognition dawned.
The man held up a hand for silence, acknowledging Uramura's reaction for what it was. "There are other matter's to attend to, Police Chief. Nothing that can be put off for another minute." Sitting down, the man waved in a second figure. A tall man, clothed strictly in a police uniform like everyone else in the precinct, strode into the office and situated himself by the door. Dark eyes narrowed, Uramura scanned his profile before returning his attention to the government official.
"I am well aware of the situation, Uramura-san. I have been briefed on all accounts, and I know that you are not equipped to take on such a task. I assure you, that problem will be taken off of your hands as of today." Uramura opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by the lifting of one gloved hand. "Your full cooperation is required. And contrary to what you believe, you will not be kept in the dark. We need your help as much as you need ours."
"What could I possible offer that would be useful to you?" Curious, yet wary, Uramura shifted in his chair and crossed his legs, his eyes darting once more to the man behind his guest.
"Information. Particularly on a civilian under you protection."
"And this person would be?"
"I'm sure you know who I speak of."
"I'm afraid I truly don't."
The man by the door finally stepped forward, his hard yellow irises displeased. "Do not play coy, Police Chief. We are well aware of your knowledge of one Himura Kenshin and of his whereabouts."
Gripping the arms of the wooden chair, his fingers creaking against the wood, Uramura ground his teeth on a frown. "If you know our every move then why play through this charade of needing our assistance?"
"Because, you, my good man, have gained his trust." His guest spoke up in an aristocratic drawl, pulling out a cigar to light.
"And you think to use me against him? My God, are you here to help or hinder this operation?"
"We have no plans to hurt Himura-san, only test him. He must realize his help is needed in this, but in his current state he is of no use. Especially with that vow he was rumored to have taken at the end of the war."
"You would do well to leave it alone. He will not work for the government like he did before. Yamagata Aritomo has already tried to convince him once. He has a life outside of that violence now."
"With that little woman of his?" The yellow-eyed demon laughed, working on Uramura's anger further. "I thought he would have learned how easily that can be taken away from him. Especially after last night. Maybe another lesson is needed?"
"I would not do that if I were you, sir."
The man smirked. "The Battosai's anger does not frighten me. It only makes him weaker."
"If it was anger alone I would agree with you." Uramura sighed, his voice muttering under his long breath.
"No harm will come to anyone, Uramura-san. I assure you of this." Standing, the man dusted off his coat and turned to the door. "This man will go by the name of Fujita Goro while he is here. He will be your direct contact with the government, as well as report everything to me. I expect you two to be civil with one another. I will take my leave now."
Fujita Goro smiled once the other had left, walking forward to occupy the seat he had vacated and pulling out a pack of cigarettes. "So… where do we begin?"
x
The rest of the afternoon went fast for Yahiko. He hadn't realized how time consuming thinking could actually be. By the time supper was over he felt he had truly gleaned nothing knew over his sensei's relationship with the Hitokiri Battosai. Nor his relationship to the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu.
There was love between them. He had guessed that from the very first minute the man had shown up at the dojo. Had confirmed the notion when he became enraged at her possible injury. The thought had never bothered him, it was none of his business, and even now, after learning the man's true identity, he could honestly say it still did not bother him. Kaoru was obviously happy with him, and he was obviously happy with her. At least he knew for a fact that the tattoo had everything to do with him.
No, what was bothering him was the man's connection to the style of swordplay he had devoted his life to. How could someone so stained with blood and rage be so strongly interwoven with the creation of Kamiya Kasshin-ryu? Kaoru herself had said that he had helped her develop some of the more intricate kata. And if that were true, then how could Yahiko believe that those same kata were not stained with the actions of a technique that was meant to kill? Thoroughly setting it against everything he had been taught?
But shouldn't I trust my sensei to know the difference? She is the master, not he, and he has even stated that he has not mastered the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu. But… how can he? When he has taken so many lives and stained his soul? Surely the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu would reject him. But…
Yahiko stood in the training hall, lost in his thoughts, when Kaoru walked in, Kenshin close on her heels. Yahiko knelt and bowed in a curious seriousness, watching as his sensei's feet stopped a meter from him.
"Have you completed your lesson, Yahiko-kun?"
"Hai… but… I sill do not understand, Kaoru-sensei. What does the condition of Kenshin's sword have to do with anything?"
"You're getting ahead of yourself, Yahiko-kun. Let's talk about the creation of Kamiya Kasshin-ryu first." Kaoru paced around the empty training hall, staring up at the plaques on the wall. "You told me earlier today what you knew of the Hitokiri Battosai. You said he was an assassin of the war, a soldier that killed many. Would you like to know what else he was?"
Yahiko nodded, and Kaoru smiled, leaning forward as if to share a secret.
"Sensei."
"N-nani? Yours…?"
"Hai." Happily rocking back on her heels, Kaoru smiled, her eyes closing with the gesture. "He is a great teacher."
"But then… you learned Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu?" Eyes wide in disbelief, Yahiko stuttered in shock.
"Most of it, anyway." Shrugging her shoulders, Kaoru dismissed the meanings behind it. "I was never allowed to learn it all. Only the principle and the basics of the style itself. It helped place a solid foundation under the creation of the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu. Without learning it first, I probably would not have been able to accomplish what I did."
"So… the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu was based off of the Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu?" Yahiko's frown reappeared. "But how is that possible?"
"Not exactly the technique itself, merely the principle. Hiten is a style that is meant to protect others. I simply expanded upon that. The teachings of Hiten are a heavy burden, as I quickly noticed from my teacher and my father. A heavy enough burden for them to withhold most of its secrets from me. I would have never learned it all, and I knew this long before they ever told me. Only a year after my initiation into the discipline of swordplay, I began to create my own style. One that would allow me to be complete in my soul, and become strong like my sensei."
"But… what inspired you to create a technique that was against killing when…" Choosing his words carefully, he continued in whispered wariness. "your teachings were in satsujin-ken?"
"This did." Carefully she pulled at the neckline of her t-shirt, baring the long, thin scar that cut across her collarbone.
"You've never told me where you got that."
"I was kidnapped when I was seven." Gently she spoke, aware of the tension in the man behind her. "It was several months after the burning of Kyoto, and only a few months into my training. We were ambushed while my father was away, and I was taken hostage because of my connection to the shadow assassin of the Choshu Clan. During the fight, my shoulder was broken." Placing a finger over the bone, she indicated each wound as she spoke. "My clavicle broke in what they called a Greenstick fracture. The sharp edge tore through my skin, pushing the wound open and leaving my left arm nearly useless. There was much torn muscle tissue and numerous shards of floating bone. It was a mess, and the pain was enough to make me pass out.
"The injury itself was unimportant, though. It was only a tool that they could use to throw off their target. To weaken him so that it would be easier to kill him. They were mistaken. And it was the first time I saw my master kill, and truly understand what it did to him. In that moment, I was scared to realize that he was not the master that I loved. He was Hitokiri Battosai. And I felt and understood the pain I had always glimpsed in my master's eyes. He did not like killing, and I did not like that it hurt him."
"And… you created a style based on katsujin-ken. For him." Enlightenment dawned and the awe in Yahiko's voice made her smile.
"And for me too. I don't think I could ever take a life myself, but I still wanted to be strong enough to take care of myself. I did not want to be helpless and become a burden to my master. Over time, the style just seemed to evolve on its own."
Yahiko's head bent down, a frown of concentration on his face as he thought over her words.
"There is still something that bothers you."
"Kaoru-sensei, you said that your master helped you in the creation of Kamiya Kasshin-ryu, and yet he himself was a soldier of the war who killed many people. I don't understand how something so pure as your sword style can stay pure when…"
"When the hands of a murderer helped its creation?" Yahiko looked slightly sheepish. Even though Kaoru's words were kind and only suggestive of his thoughts, the man next to her was still silent, and if anything, his face had become even less expressionless. Was he angry that they were speaking of him as if he were not even there?
Walking to the wall on the other side of the room, Kaoru bent over a shrine, her hands reaching out to the small doors in the back. "Yahiko, earlier I asked you to examine the sword of Himura Kenshin. I did so knowing you would be unaware of what you were looking at. Without something to compare it to, you are ignorant of its true meaning." As she spoke, her hands lifted a katana from out of the shrine, its length covered in silk. Turning slowly, she held out her arms to show her student his next lesson. "This is the sword of Hitokiri Battosai. You will describe it to me next."
Pacing toward the boy, she passed Kenshin, his brows furrowed. "Kaoru…" She smiled softly in reassurance, and continued until she knelt before her student. Untying the knot that held the cloth over the length, she carefully dropped the covering to the floor and once more held out the katana for the boy to study.
"What do you see?"
Yahiko looked in dismay at the tool before him. The sheath was chipped and scratched, the lacquer dull and lifeless. The hilt was stained. Dark smudges of what he knew to be blood and maybe dirt soiled the wrappings, hiding the true color it had once been from the world. This sword had not been taken care of properly.
"It's… very dirty. Almost… unhealthy. Like it's sick or something."
"Hai. I have tried to clean it several times, but the stains will not come out." Meticulously, she wrapped a hand around the hilt, tugging slightly to free the blade from the sheath. A sharp hiss pulled at the air, and Yahiko instinctively flinched back. The aura was dark and dank, and even as untrained as he was in ki, he could feel the anger that radiated from the steel. And the pain. But even as stained and unkempt as the outside was, the blade was sharp and deadly. Kaoru did not have to ask this time, the look on his face said it all. Sheathing the blade with a soft click, she moved to cover the katana with the cloth again.
"Yahiko, what do you know of a samurai's katana? What does it represent?"
Yahiko looked over the weapon in her hand, his heart still beating rapidly at the energy it produced. Thinking back to his first lessons with Kaoru he remembered her lecture of what a sword meant to a true samurai. "A samurai's katana represents his soul."
"And what do you now know about the soul of Hitokiri Battosai? What did you feel from it when you looked at his katana?"
"Anger. Pain. And sadness."
Standing, Kaoru walked back to the shrine, replacing the katana in its holder. "This katana became useless to my master at the end of the war. It was too stained and too bitter for him to use, especially with the vow he had taken."
"Vow?"
"To never take another life." Kaoru grinned when Yahiko's eyes widened. "Because of this vow, his katana could not be used. And so we found him a new weapon. Kenshin, would you show Yahiko your sakabato?"
Yahiko repeated the word in confusion, then stared at the blade that was leveled for his scrutiny. "The blade's on the wrong side!" And where the other blade had radiated anger, this one was completely pure, calm and peaceful in its strength.
"This weapon prevents me from taking life, Yahiko-kun." Kenshin spoke up softly, startling the boy with his break in silence. "It was a great gift to me, and I have cherished the second chance."
"But… it's so heavy."
"As my soul is heavy with the lives I have taken. I will never forget their sacrifice. And I will never stop fighting to give meaning to their loss."
"Do you better understand now, Yahiko?" Kaoru broke through the crease of thought on the young boy's face, happy that Kenshin had helped her in this lesson. It did them both good to speak with one another.
"I… I think I do, Kaoru-sensei. Only…"
"Yes?"
"Well… it's probably not my business or anything, but since you were talking about katana symbolizing souls… I thought…"
"Are you going to spit it out?" Laughing, Kaoru crossed her arms, amused at the stuttering from her student. Yahiko growled, and turned his head away with a pout, his seeming cautiousness gone with the lesson learned.
"I was just wondering why Kenshin doesn't carry a wakazashi. If a katana is supposed to represent a warrior's soul, then it's supposed to be his heart, right?"
"That is very true, Yahiko." Smiling, Kaoru leaned back into the small cabinet, pulling out a second, cloth covered sword. This one considerably shorter than the first. "This is the heart of Himura Kenshin… and of Hitokiri Battosai. This belongs to me." Settling the short sword against her chest, her smile turned smaller, and more than a little sad. "It has taken one life, and that life was my fault as well. In return, I have given him this." Sweeping one arm in a large arch, Kaoru indicated the dojo surrounding them. "This dojo is my heart, and I freely let him call it home for as long as he wishes."
"Geeze, busu, I was just wondering. You didn't have to tell me all that." Disgusted, Yahiko stood, his face twisted in revulsion. "Uh, thanks for the lesson. I'm going to bed. Gotta get up early for school and everything." Muttering slightly under his breath, he walked to the door of the training hall and disappeared out onto the engawa.
Chuckling to herself, Kaoru replaced the wakazashi in the shrine, and carefully closed the doors. When she turned back to the empty room, Kenshin was standing beside her, and she gratefully leaned into him. Every muscle in her body was quivering in fatigue and she was a little annoyed by it.
"Hmm, I find it appropriate that my heart should be tucked away so securely inside of your own." Rubbing a hand up her back, he smiled when she hugged herself tighter to him.
"Do you?"
"Hai. Home will always be where you are."
x
A/N: I think it's time to leave our two lovebirds alone for a little while. XD
Well, now that that is out of the way, we will move on to the "we're all gonna get in a fight" scenes! Lol I'm so happy! I've been waiting for these scenes ever since I finished my last chapter. Sorry, by the way, that it took so long. But hey, it's Christmas season and everyone knows how crazy that can get. I was hoping to have so much more done on all of my stories than I have and it depresses me every time that I think about it. Like how I haven't posted a chapter on my other stories in over a year now. Ouch. That one sucks huh? Anyway, hope to see you all soon in my next chapter. Please review. Me likes those thingies. XD