TWENTY-ONE
I wake up to my cellphone relentlessly ringing. Colby sleeps through it. I realize several people have been calling me, and it's only nine in the morning. I've got missed calls from Rosa, Saraya, Taylor, Tenille, and even Bryan. I nervously check the voicemails.
"April, call me," is all Bryan says. He sounds angry, which worries me.
"I just heard. Call me, luv," Saraya says.
"Are you alright? We're worried," Tenille tells me.
"I don't know if you know, but we're here for you, April. Call us," Taylor says.
Rosa's message leaves a hint for me. "Don't read the dirtsheets or go on social media until you call me," she says. This can't be good. I decide to call her first.
"Girl, this is bad," Rosa greets me.
"I figured," I reply. "What's going on?"
"Your personal life just got leaked all over the Internet. As far as I can tell, a 'source inside the police department' told a reporter you accused TJ of rape."
"Oh God... I... I didn't want this out there, not like this..."
"There's more. They said you're divorcing Phil and outed Colby as your boyfriend. I'm sorry, Girl. I know this is bad."
I'm speechless. Colby, sensing my distress, is awake. He looks at me questioningly and I can't figure out what to tell him.
"Thank you for telling me," I say numbly. "I need to go."
"April, don't let this break you. You're strong," she tells me.
"I know... I'll talk to you later, Rosa."
I hang up and stare at my phone. Then I load Twitter, because I know what will be waiting for me. "April, what's wrong?" Colby asks. I explain it to him and his anger is strong, but he tries to hide it. "We'll get through this," he promises me.
I have about a billion tweets waiting for me. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but there are a lot more than I can count. A few are sympathetic. At least a hundred are requests to be on podcasts. One of those is from Scotty. The rest are so much worse.
WWEAJLe SLUT! HOW COULD U DO THAT TO PUNK? BITCH!
RAPE? MORE LIKE LETS BLAME CHEATING ON A GUY WHO CAN'T DEFEND HIMSELF CUZ HE'S DEAD! LIAR! WWEAJLee PROBABLY SEDUCED NATTIE'S HUSBAND AND CLAIMED RAPE FOR SYMPATHY!
I HOPE WWEAJLee AND WWERollins ARE HAPPY TOGETHER. SCUMBAGS DESERVE SCUMBAGS.
There are also several death threats, some just to me, others to both me and Colby. It's nine in the morning and the Cult of Personality is out in full force. They want my head. I'm shaking. Part of me wants to cry, crawl into a hole, and die. I decide to go with anger instead.
"Who the hell do these people think they are? I left Saint Punk, shame on me! Fine. But death threats? Calling me a slut? Saying that I lied about the rape? This is bullshit!" I shout.
Colby looks at me sympathetically. "The sheep will crucify you if you let them. They can't separate storylines from reality. All they know is AJ Lee was a serial bed jumper until she met CM Punk and now they're the world's cutest couple and she broke his heart. This has nothing to do with Phil and April. I'm sorry. I get it."
"I know. You've certainly been the victim of enough twitter harassment... I can't just sit back and let them spread lies, Colby. Too many girls are raped and molested for me to let people say I filed a fake claim. Those girls feel alone enough in this world. They're already ashamed. They shouldn't be afraid to talk about it." Suddenly, I know I have to address this. The WWE trains us in damage control. It's too late to hide this from the media, but I can change how the situation is addressed.
"I need to talk to Paul," I say. "I can't stay silent about this anymore."
*Skip, Skip, Skip... LATER*
Paul agrees I need to do something about this. He calls a press conference for me the following afternoon. I am insanely nervous. Colby is by my side and so are Paul and Stephanie. Joe, Taylor, and Tenille are off-camera but within my sight.
"Everyone has heard the rumors," Paul says. "April is here to set the record straight."
"Hi," I say lamely. I take a deep breath. I wish Rosa was here. She'd know how to make me laugh about this. "I'm going to be as open as possible today. First of all, yes, I have accused TJ of raping me. It happened a few months ago. He attacked me one day in his and Nattie's hotel room."
A man raises his hand. Paul calls on him. "Why were you in his hotel room?" He asks.
I groan inwardly. Here we go. "I was looking for Nattie. She wasn't there, but I trusted him when he told me to come in. I was upset and he said I could talk to him... I gave it a try. That was a mistake..." I'm shaking as I add, "He attacked me. I tried to get away from him, but I couldn't."
Colby squeezes my shoulder supportively. I take another deep breath. "He was my friend's husband. I never thought he'd hurt me."
"Is it true you and your husband are getting a divorce?" Another press member asks.
"Yes," I say. "Phil and I broke up."
"Was it because of the rape?" Another asks.
I pause. "It was for a lot of reasons. We grew apart." I'm not going to fuel the fire by saying he hit me.
"Are you and Seth Rollins an item?" This one comes from a dirtsheet reporter. I recognize him.
"Colby and I are dating, yes. It happened after I let my husband. There was no affair and it's not why we broke up. My character may be a bed hopper, but I'm not. I am a one-man woman. Unfortunately, Phil and I didn't work out. Colby helped me through the rape and has been my rock. I didn't intend to fall in love with him, but I did. If you saw how he took care of me, you'd fall for him, too."
"Ohm, trust me, I do love him," the dirtsheeter says. Laughter spreads through the room. It stops quickly.
"Why did you wait so long to tell the truth?" An older woman asks.
I am prepared for this one. "I was ashamed. I thought I did something to cause it. When I was a child, I was sexually abused. I had it in my head that this was my fault. It took me a very long time to realize nothing could be further from the truth. No one deserves to be raped. No one should be ashamed or think they are weak. I am a WWE Diva. I'm trained to kick ass, and this still happened to me. Being raped doesn't make you weak. It makes the coward who did this to you weak. I didn't tell anyone because I was scared, but now I know that was the wrong choice. It happened a second time and I still couldn't bring myself to tell, and if Colby and a couple others hadn't been there, it probably would have kept happening. I wish I'd told someone sooner. I made the wrong choice. I just hope other women learn from my mistakes. If you have been raped, you need to get help. You deserve to get help."
I feel different suddenly, like telling the truth might actually help someone. The press is warming up to me. For the first time in ages, I feel strong. I think I just finally reclaimed my life.
The comments and questions after that are kinder. When someone finally brings up Dean, I look to Paul and Stephanie. They nod.
"I want to be clear on this. Nattie's life was absolutely in danger from TJ. Dean Ambrose is a hero, and calling him anything else is wrong. I don't know that I would have survived all this without him. He barely knew me on a personal level, but once I got attacked, he became my guard dog. He realized I wasn't going to tell anyone who raped me so he made sure I was never alone for it to happen again. Dean won't stand back and watch a woman get hurt. He's a good man. I am praying the judge on his case will see that and clear him of these charges."
"Is there any proof of that?" Someone asks.
"You only have my word right now..."
"That's not quite true," a voice says. To my shock, PJ stands up in the crowd. I have no idea how he got in, but I'm kind of thrilled to see him. He smiles at me. "I'm sorry to interrupt, April, and I'm proud of you for speaking up. I'm so proud, in fact, that it inspired me to drive across the country and say my piece as well. My name is PJ Black, but you all probably know me as Justin Gabriel. I was very close to TJ and to Nattie. The abuse Nattie suffered at the hands of her husband was witnessed by myself and several members of the Total Divas film crew. Although I'm sure the footage will never air, the crew caught an incident on tape. TJ assaulted Nattie in front of me. I physically pulled him off of her and gave him a beating because I don't tolerate men hitting women. That ended our friendship, and honestly, it ended my career with the WWE. I chose to quit because nothing was done about the situation."
Holy crap, he said it! He admitted WWE knew TJ was dangerous and didn't do anything about it! Paul starts sweating like a pig. Stephanie turns beat red. There's nothing they can do, either. It's not like he can be fired.
"I'm sure that the McMahon family will gladly hand over that video evidence to help poor Dean prove his case," PJ adds. He winks at me. Then he says, "Again, April, I'm proud of you for coming forward. That took a lot of courage." He sits down.
The press goes insane, calling out questions accusing Paul and Stephanie of being horrible, negligent bosses, and Paul quickly says, "Of course we are fully cooperating with this investigation. Thank you, everyone. That's all the time we have."
Paul ushers us outside. "Did you know he was going to pull that?" Stephanie demands.
"Of course not. I didn't even know he was in town," I say.
"April wasn't trying to create a circus," Paul says. "She didn't do this."
"Don't say anything else," Stephanie tells me. I've already said all I need to.
Colby takes me back to our car. PJ is leaning against his own vehicle, an awesome motorcycle. He smiles at me. "April, I meant every word. You did good, coming forward. I'm sorry I didn't know what he did to you. I'd have killed him myself," he says.
"What are you doing here?" I ask as I hug him.
"I knew Paul buried that video. Your boy Dean's in jail for doing exactly what I would have done. It's not fair. Your word is great, but without evidence, it wouldn't be enough. Now, they'll have to hand over that tape. I'm just trying to make sure they do the right thing. Nattie deserves the closure, and so do you, and Dean doesn't deserve to rot for this."
"They're pissed," Colby says.
"So? They can't fire me, and they can't sue me for being honest. I can handle myself, Rollins."
"Colby."
"Colby." PJ shakes his hand. "You do right by this girl, alright? She deserves a good man."
"Always."
"Are you staying around?" I ask.
PJ shakes his head and says, "Nah. I talked to the cops on the case already. Now I need to leave before I make Stephanie McMahon's head explode... Not that I wouldn't like to see that, but I've got a show in Boston tomorrow, so I need to get on the road."
"Good luck."
"You, too." He hugs me goodbye before nodding at Colby, putting on his helmet, and getting on his motorcycle. He speeds off moments later.
"That guy knows how to make an entrance... and an exit," Colby says.
"He's great. Another example of WWE wasting talent," I say. My mind turns to Drew, which brings up Rosa. I'm surprised she hasn't called me. I know she watched the press conference. I pick up my phone and call her.
Drew answers her phone. "Hello, lass," he says. "Great job today! We're damn proud of ya."
"Thanks, Drew," I say. "Where's Rosa?"
He hesitates. "She needs a little time, lass... She got some news a couple of hours ago..."
"Is she okay?"
"She told me not ta 'kill yer buzz.' I'm not supposed to talk about her."
"Drew, out with it. What's wrong?"
He sighs. "Her doctor ran a detailed exam, one to determine a long-term prognosis. She's healing well, and she'll definitely walk again full time soon, but... Her doctor told her it would be too dangerous to ever wrestle again. She would risk paralyzing herself for good if she did."
I'm floored. I knew it was possible, but I had really hoped Rosa would defy the odds and make it back into the ring one day. I'm trying not to cry. She needs me to be strong.
"Put her on, Drew. No matter what she says."
After a minute of arguing, Rosa takes the phone. "Hey, Girl," she says like nothing's wrong, but I can hear her heart breaking through the phone. "You did great today. I couldn't be more proud."
"Rosa, listen to me." I do my best to think of what she would say to me in this situation. "You're going to get through this, girl. You are strong, and you are not alone. You have your life, your health, and a very sexy Scottsman by your side. You have friends who would draw blood for you. We love you, and we're here for you."
I can hear her crying now. I wish I was by her side. I'll have to settle for talking her down.
"I can't do this anymore," she tells me. "I can't be brave for film crews and smile through the pain... I just... This sucks."
"Yes it does. I'm so sorry, Rosa."
"I'm quitting. If Total Divas is all I can do, I want my release... Are you mad?"
"I'll miss you being one of the Divas, but I understand, Rosa. You do what you need to do. I'll support any devision you make." I hate that she's not coming back, but deep down, I think I knew.
"Was that really PJ at the press conference?" She asks me.
I accept the subject change because I know she needs it. "Yeah. He came to make sure WWE can't bury any evidence that might help free Dean."
"Good for him! Are they flipping out?"
"That doesn't even cover it, but they can't touch him."
She laughs. "I'm proud of you, girl, really. That took guts, telling everyone what that son of a bitch did to you. I was never that brave."
"You're braver than anyone I know, Rosa."
"Girl, you're crazy." She sounds better. I'm glad she's calming down. "I'm gonna go. Drew's making dinner. We'll talk soon, okay?"
"Absolutely." I hang up.
"Everything okay?" Colby asks.
"Rosa's quitting WWE… She can't wrestle anymore, Colby." I lean against him. It's been a very emotional few hours.
"That sucks… Is she alright?"
"She will be. She's strong."
"She's not the only one." He kisses me. "You did so great today, April."
"So everyone keeps telling me." I smile. "Let's go back to our room. I just want to order room service and snuggle you."
"That sounds like heaven." He leads the way. I'm not sure what's going to happen now, but I feel like the weight of the world is finally not on my shoulders anymore.