A/N: I don't have a good excuse for taking so long to get this to you. I apologize and hope that you're all still hanging in there. Thank you for all your reviews... they're what keep me going when I think I should just quit.

Thanks to: Isa for being an amazing Co-Mod that's willing to give me last minute opinions on my fics and Lynne for being my very own "If Only" Spoiler Whore. I love you both!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass or Blair Waldorf... I just like to put words into their mouths for no other reward than my personal enjoyment.

If Only

Chapter 21

"One More"

When the morning came, Blair bolted upright at the sound of her alarm blaring from her cell phone. Chuck stirred beside her, but didn't fully wake until she moved to silence the offending noise. She had wiggled free of him and was about to leave the bed when his arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her back into his embrace. "Leave it," he mumbled.

"I can't." She sat up again, "I have to call and tell the Ball's event staff that I've changed escorts..." He looked at her blankly, waiting for her to continue, "And then I have to tell Nate that I'm not going with him."

A grin spread across his face and she couldn't help but smile, too.

He released his hold on her and she set to running about the room looking for her phone, completely naked. She could feel him leering at her as she rumpled her clothes from the day before, searching the pockets before bending down to look under the couch... where she finally found the burnt-orange enV.

Dialing quickly, she went through the chain of people before reaching the person in charge of the presentation speeches. The stuffy sounding older woman explained that programs and speech cards had already been sent to the printers; there was no way that she could change her escort now.

"If it's any consolation, Mr. Nathaniel Archibald called yesterday and notified us that he'd be escorting you, just before the printing had begun." The woman sounded pleased with herself; Blair wanted to yell and kick and scream until they agreed to her demand.

Instead she took a deep breath, looked at Chuck across the room, and replied, "Thank you for your cooperation."

She walked slowly over to rejoin him on the bed and fought back the wave of panic. Chuck looked up at her, expectantly and asked, "What happened?"

Running her hand down his forearm and entwining his fingers with her own, she replied, "It's too late to change my escort."

If one could actually say that Chuck Bass's face was capable of falling, this would be the moment. He looked uneasy as he flatly responded, "Oh."

"That's..." she breathed in, "not the worst part."

Raising his eyebrows, he asked, "What else is there?"

She could feel her throat starting to close up, but she pushed through it. Speaking lowly, she broke the news to him: "Nate called them yesterday... I have to go with him."

Chuck clenched his jaw as a cold spike of dread sliced through his gut. "You have to?"

"Yes." He heard her voice tremble slightly, "I do." After a beat, she added, "I guess I'll just use this to show him I don't want anything more than friendship from him."

He scoffed in disbelief and then rolled his eyes at the idea as he laid back down. "Right."

"No, this could work." She hovered over him, relaying the plan that he knew had just formed in her mind: "I'm already late for the final tux fitting I was supposed to go to. This will show how relaxed I am about going with him. That this really is about friends going to the ball together. Then I spend the whole night at the ball dancing with other people..."

He finished her thought doubtfully, "And hope that he gets the point?"

She nodded, "If that doesn't work, if he... tries something, I push him away and tell him that I only want to be friends."

"You're expecting him to believe you."

Nate Archibald was the thickest, most clueless person on the planet; short of Chuck and Blair having sex in the middle of the dance floor, her going to a dance with her ex wasn't going to show Nate anything. Of course, that was beside the fact that Chuck knew what Nate was after by asking Blair to Cotillion.

Narrowing her eyes, she asked, "Why wouldn't he?"

Sighing under the weight of what this piece of knowledge could cost him, considering their fight the previous night, he divulged, "He wants you back... told me so himself."

Her eyes lit up, as if the pieces of a puzzle clicked into place in her head. "That's why you were upset about me going with him," she responded in awe.

It was Chuck's turn to nod this time, but he did so begrudgingly as he fought to hide the embarrassment he felt over being so transparent.

It wasn't something he was proud of, consorting with his best friend's ex behind that friend's back, but he was in way too deep to let her go. That meant doing everything he could to keep them from getting back together and chancing her figuring out what she just had: that he was attached strongly enough that he cared whether they got back together. That he had a vested interest in keeping them from doing so.

Never mind the fact that he was in love with her.

Her brown eyes gazed into his and turned warm as she stated softly, "As soon as Cotillion is over we'll tell him."

It was thirty seconds later before her words were able to register in his brain; even then he was so surprised that he couldn't form a more coherent response than, "What?"

Taking a moment to lay down next to him, she scooted her body close to his before responding, "We'll go out on Monday; you, me, Serena and Nate." Twirling her hand calmly in the air, she detailed her idea for him: "Dinner at Butter, drinks at Victrola, have some fun... and then we'll tell him."

Blair's face lifted to lock her eyes on his, so he ran his fingers down her cheek while mulling over her suggestion. There was only one participant he couldn't understand the need for: "Serena? So that she can talk him out of killing me?"

"Yeah," she laughed, "that and it's been so long since the four of us have hung out together. We might as well make some good memories one more time..." he felt her breathe deeply, "just in case..." Then her voice drifted off and he knew what she didn't want to say: it was possible that Nate would want nothing to do with them.

He might as well enjoy his best friend while he could still call him a friend.

The fact that this could be it, that their time as a dirty little secret could be coming to a close, was giving him something to be happy about in spite of the repercussions they were sure to face. All that was standing in between going public with the girl he'd come to love was one more night of pretending.

Pulling his girlfriend's face down to his, kissing her lush mouth and feeling the butterflies dance at the taste of her tongue... he decided that the freedom of finally being able to do that without the guilt would make it all worth it.

What he had right now was worth much more than even the the loss his best friend. Hurting the boy who was, for all intents and purposes, his brother wouldn't match the way that he felt when this woman was near; speaking with him, kissing him, touching him...

Somehow, suddenly, he knew it always had been worth it; that it always would have come down to this. Why else would he have taken the chance of losing Nate's trust in the first place?

Had he always been in love with Blair?

Taking the time to calm Chuck down had served to make Blair even more late for Nate's tuxedo fitting across town. Head buzzing with all that still needed to be done before the ball tomorrow, she'd grabbed an outfit that she'd left for emergencies just like this from Chuck's closet, gotten dressed, grabbed her purse and phone, then flown out of suite to meet her ex.

Then, on top of everything, her mother had texted her to let her know she had to leave town and wouldn't be available to host the afternoon tea she was supposed to be giving in honor of Serena's grandma Cece. Which meant that the whole thing was left up to Blair... and Dorota, of course.

At least she had a legitimate reason to cut out of Nate's fitting early.

After hailing her cab, she'd applied make-up during the fifteen minute ride and had practically run into the building. By the time she reached the shop, her breathing was a little labored and she was very pleased with the fact that Nate seemed aware that she wasn't really into sticking around for his fitting.

Texting Chuck the whole five minutes she was there probably helped with that.

Running off to set up the tea for her mother's guests, she'd felt that there was something accomplished by her showing for the fitting and not blowing him off. She knew that Nate was... difficult to get through to sometimes, but there was no way anyone could have missed the fact that Blair was obviously seeing someone else.

The rest of the afternoon flew by because it was so busy. Sure, Dorota did most of the hard work, but Blair had to entertain the guests and make sure that her mother's absence was explained correctly so it wouldn't seem as if Eleanor hadn't cared. It was a good thing that Carter Baizen was there to keep the conversation interesting, because even the small amount of exertion that keeping up appearances required was wearing Blair out.

By evening, she was exhausted.

She'd only just crawled into her bed, at nine p.m., when her phone rang and Chuck's ring tone played softly: "Keep with me, forward, all through the night. And once we start, the meter clicks, and it goes running all through the night. Until it ends there is no end..."

Making a mental note to change the song because Cyndi Lauper's "All Through the Night" gives away too much, she reached over and picked up the call. "Hey."

"Hey," he replied through the phone, "Are you still coming over tonight?"

Blair covered her face with a part of her pillow and groaned in frustration in forgetting the plan. Then she said, "I had to host a tea that my mom skipped out on at the last minute and I've been running interference all day." She couldn't understand what the hell is wrong with her head, totally forgetting about their plans for the evening; a night with Chuck was something she couldn't understand forgetting about.

He was silent for a moment, then replied, "Then why don't I come over there?" There was a strange urgency to his voice, like he really needed to see her.

"I'm in bed already, Chuck... I'm so tired," she yawned softly.

"Then we'll sleep."

She was going to tell him no for a half a second, but then she started to imagine him laying there next to her, wrapping her in his arms, and drifting off to sleep...

Chuck waited a full two minutes before he understood that Blair's soft breathing on the other end of the phone meant that she'd fallen asleep. He'd been hesitant to believe it because the girl had more energy than most people, but she'd actually fallen asleep while talking to him.

He had been looking forward to seeing her, not just because he wanted her, but because he needed to talk to her.

Thinking back to the way that Nate had cornered him earlier, asking him questions about the new guy that Blair must be seeing, he was even more nervous about Blair and Nate going to the ball together. Nate was determined; more focused on Blair, more obsessed than he'd been about Serena... and now Chuck didn't know what to do

He'd agreed to dig up the dirt on Blair's new relationship, but he couldn't tell Nate that it was actually him that was making Blair the happy girl she'd been, the one that Nate had been admiring of late.

Chuck was stuck; he wanted to talk to Blair about this issue, but she was obviously exhausted and he didn't dare go over there and wake her now. It was up to him to make sure that they stayed a secret for just a little bit longer...

And the thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.

A/N: There you have it! Another chapter, another step closer to Nate finding out... or is it? ;)