Stockholm Syndrome

Chapter Twenty-one

xXx

A/n: Yeah, I know, lookit me go woow. Two updates for this story in under a week? I'm impressed. Where's my writer's block? Where did it go? Thanks Leven lmao;

Thanks for the support, everyone (:

xXx

Roxas stared up at the ceiling with heavy eyes. He yawned deeply, tears gathering at their corners. Birds were chirping, signaling that sunlight would break across the sky, soon. Drowsiness was overwhelming him and as he fell into a light doze, he heard voices down the hall, jolting him to awareness again. He scoffed at the sound of laughter and propped himself up on his elbows, scowling at the door.

Axel's raven-haired friend immediately flashed across his mind's eye and his blue eyes darkened. He stared at the door murderously, when he heard Zack's voice and then Axel's. He was too friendly with Axel and too stupidly nice. He didn't like it one bit. What was he playing at? Why was he being so nice? Why had he been happy about Axel finding him?

The door opened slowly and silently. Axel was in the doorway, still talking softly over his shoulder while running a towel through his hair, "…yeah sounds good, I'll be out in a minute," he murmured. Roxas's stomach clenched in nervousness when the red-head entered the room, but his expression didn't change.

Axel was only wearing a towel around his thin, muscular waist. Roxas had forgotten how attractive the man was. He couldn't take his eyes off of that strong, lithe, frame. His face heated up dangerously as his gaze slowly wandered up to Axel's face, his eyes devouring his body greedily, lingering on every muscle and every dip and curve of ivory flesh, images flashing across his mind. He could remember vividly how it felt to be pinned under Axel's strong arms… being dominated by the beautiful man… the feeling of the red-head taking him… and bit his lower lip, holding back a groan.

Axel turned toward him as if in response, slowly lowering the towel from his fiery hair that was already starting to spike again. Green eyes flashed in surprise when they landed on the blond, and Roxas flinched visibly. "You're awake. When did you wake up?" he asked, his cheeks reddening as he looked away self-consciously.

"I didn't sleep," Roxas muttered back darkly, glaring at the red-head to hide how he was feeling. Perfectly arched brows rose and he slowly looked at Roxas, taken aback by his tone.

"Why not? Uhm… do I… want to know why you are looking at me like you want to kill me?" He asked, looking hesitant to enter the room. The blond exhaled heavily and bit back another groan.

"Forget about it," he muttered. "Can we talk yet?"

"Alright…" the red-head murmured slowly, shutting the door cautiously and making his way to the boy, looking like he expected to be bitten. Roxas' heart stuttered at their proximity. He curled around one of Axel's pillows and buried himself into the plush comforter to avoid looking at him. "Okay… tell me what's wrong," he said hesitantly and uncertainly. Angry blue eyes glared at the pillow.

"Well first off, you have a roommate. Don't you think you should have told me about this sooner? Or were you hoping I wouldn't find out?!" he asked bitterly. His voice was a bit muffled, but Axel could still hear him. Perfectly ached red brows trailed higher and he snorted in amusement before he could help himself.

"You're jealous …of Zack?" he asked archly. Roxas felt his face flame, his angry glare travelling up to that lovely face instead.

"I want to know why you kept it a secret from me," he hissed back. Axel smiled at him crookedly, relaxing a little.

"I didn't think you'd care. He's no one special, just a roommate, Roxas. If I didn't want you to know about him, you wouldn't have met him," he replied, his green eyes sparkling with mischief, "although, I'm flattered that you do," he teased. Roxas scoffed at him.

"Then why was he special enough to see you in a towel?" he asked sharply, making Axel falter.

"What? I was just…" his teeth clicked together and he sighed in frustration, when he realized how bothered Roxas was, his tension returning when the blond spoke again.

"How did you two even meet?" Roxas asked defensively, not wanting to hear the answer or to let Axel give one. Sadness crept into those lovely green eyes and Axel glanced away.

"That's not such a nice story," he murmured back. Roxas' glare returned to the pillow.

"I want to know," he replied stubbornly. "I want to know all of it!" A large hand rested on the blond's shoulder, squeezing it gently. Axel's eyes slid shut and he exhaled heavily, reluctant to speak until he felt Roxas tense. The red-head sat beside him and leant back against the headboard, looking out the window, over the water forlornly.

"All of it, huh?" he asked, his voice sounding far away. Roxas nodded, making the red-head laugh anxiously and shake his head. "This isn't how I wanted to start my day, you know?" he replied, sounding strained. He sighed when the blond didn't answer and an awkward silence built up between them. "Well, might as well start at the beginning then," he muttered, more to himself. Roxas looked up at him, surprised that the man was doing what he wanted, even though he was clearly reluctant about it. Axel looked as tense as he'd sounded, looking like he was trying to figure out how to tell Roxas what he needed to.

"When I left you, I knew I couldn't go back because it would be too risky. So I ran away from you, as far as I could, and I ended up here," he murmured finally. "I didn't want you to find me ever again. It hurt too much." Roxas glared at him hatefully. It hurt too much?! What about all he'd been through?! He'd lost his family, he'd pushed his friends away, he'd even lost his future, and it was all Axel's fault! Yet he had the audacity to say he was hurt about it? Before he realized what he was doing, he was bending close to Axel, trembling in anger as he towered over him on his knees and his hand collided with a pale cheek in a sickening slap. Axel stared at him calmly.

"You shouldn't have left me, you should have come back instead of leaving me there! That was the least you could have done. I lost everything because of you!" he yelled back, eyes blazing and pulled his hand back ready to strike the red-head again. "Even after I chose you, you lied to me! You said you wanted me to help you with your dream and then you decided not to come back! In fact, you came here of all places, without me, doing God knows what, with whom knows what... after you promised me we'd do it together!" Axel's eyes fell shut and he smiled bitterly, his cheek reddening, ready to let him do it again.

"I did, didn't I?" he asked quietly, "Yet here we are, now, so I guess I did come back for you …didn't I?" he whispered, his voice barely audible over the breakers, catching Roxas off guard. "Can't you see that I'm trying to make it right?"

"Why did you do that? Why did it take you so long to come back? Why even bother, now? You seem happy enough without me around," Roxas whispered. His hand was shaking. Axel exhaled softly.

"I was scared. I didn't want to hurt you anymore," he admitted. Blue eyes widened and Roxas clutched his offending hand, almost as if it had been burnt.

"What?" he gasped. The red-head's bitter smile was back. Slowly, painfully, he looked into Roxas' eyes.

"I had a lot of time to think about what I did to you, you know," was his emotionless reply. The blond flinched at his voice, frightened by it.

They fell silent for a long time and Roxas just stared at the red-head, stunned. No, he couldn't mean that. He'd said he was sorry but… no. Those beautiful jaded eyes pierced into him, and the red-head smiled sadly. "Why did I come back for you, hmm? Well, Zack convinced me to find you again, believe it or not. I was too afraid," he murmured finally.

"Why? Why would he do that?" Roxas asked, completely lost. Axel had been afraid? Axel shrugged.

"Guess he figured out how much you meant to me," he murmured back. The blond's stomach did an icy flop. He found himself searching the red-head's eyes.

"What? How? You didn't… You told him about us? About what you did to me?!" he whispered in both horror and complete disbelief. The thought made him absolutely sick.

"No," the red-head mused. "I started having nightmares when I got here. Over time, he got me to tell him about you, but I was too ashamed to admit what I did." Their eyes met and Roxas couldn't stop staring. The red-head's shoulders hunched and he pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them and humming thoughtfully, his expression pensive.

"I've always been a survivor, you know," Axel murmured, "I've always done what I needed to and it's always been enough until…" his eyes flicked up, locking with cerulean, "until I met you." Blue eyes widened marginally. Axel smiled but his eyes were far away. "I was a fucking mess when I got here. You completely ruined me. I was so angry and confused. I just sat on the beach, staring at the ocean and thinking about how it's the same shade of blue as your eyes for two days straight. I couldn't get you out of my head, but I knew that I couldn't keep hurting you either." Roxas stared at him wide-eyed, forgetting his anger at the confession.

"What?"

"Zack found me because…" he continued as if he hadn't heard the blond, curling further into himself, away from Roxas. He was quiet for a long time and just when Roxas was convinced he wasn't going to say anything else, the red-head spoke. "There were some kids. Three of them, two boys and a girl, probably around ten. They were attacking this three-legged dog, saying that it was freaky and hitting it with struggle bats until it couldn't get up." Roxas gasped and Axel winced at the harsh sound. "They were saying that they wondered how fast it could run, missing a leg like that, and something inside me broke when I saw them douse it and pull out matches." Blue eyes widened in horror. "I knew what was going to happen and all I could see where the horrible things I did to you," he whispered brokenly. "I screamed at them to stop and they just laughed and set it on fire." Roxas' hands covered his mouth and Axel went quiet at the tears welling up in those blue oceans.

"The only thing I could think about was saving it," he murmured numbly, "I ran after it and those little shits got away. It was howling and shrieking in pain. I'll never forget how awful it sounded," he told the boy emotionlessly, his eyes looking empty. "When I caught it, I tried to smother the flames. I just couldn't stop trying to save it, even after it stopped moving," he told Roxas bitterly, falling silent again when the blond sobbed. "Turns out the dog belonged to Zack," he said quietly, strangely calm. "When he found us, I was having a complete breakdown."

Hesitantly, he let his hand rest on top of pristine spikes in a way that he hoped was comforting but Roxas just cried harder. "He returned the favor and took care of me until I could be on my own again because I got burnt," he said quietly, turning his hand over, showing the blond. Blue eyes widened and his breath caught. Roxas grasped his other hand as well, examining them. Axel's pale complexion helped to hide it but, there were faint scars covering Axel's palms and inner arms. "They were worse," he said quietly, "Zack's been helping me get treatment for them. …He insisted on offering me a place to stay when he found out I was homeless, to repay me for my kindness. He… kept going on about how I was a hero," he said softly, frowning deeply as Roxas stared into his eyes. The red-head looked troubled, "but I didn't do it to be kind or anything like that. I did it because of you," he admitted to the trembling boy, gently stroking his hair, only pulling his hand back once Roxas had calmed, letting his hands drop to his sides, silence enveloping them.

"You trusted him enough to stay with him…?" Roxas asked hesitantly. Axel snorted.

"No. I…" He bit his lower lip. "I had a hard time adjusting to getting burnt and to losing you. I never did stupid things like that before. I never put myself on the line like that, and I couldn't understand why I did it. Then I started having nightmares about the things I did and I… I couldn't stand being alone anymore. I hated it and I was awful to live with at first but he didn't give up on me. That's why I stayed," he admitted. "We helped each other heal and… There's more I need to tell you, because of that, Roxas…" Axel murmured, "but it's something I'd like to show you when I think you're ready, okay?" Blue eyes became guarded and Axel laughed shaking his head. "It's something I did for you," he said with a soft smile, "so stop looking at me like that every time you think about Zack. You can hate him after you get to know him if you want, but try to give him a chance." Roxas' face absolutely overheated and Axel smiled at him impishly, brushing his hand along golden flesh and though golden spikes. He leant close, his smile widening. "There is nothing between us. Never has been. You're the only one I've wanted, even after all this time, you know," he whispered, making Roxas gasp. He pushed the red-head away, flustered by their proximity. Green eyes studied him. "What's wrong hmm?"

"Nothing!" he denied, staring at the red-head who simply watched him, those green eyes were beautiful and intense. His blood was rushing and his body was heating up. The way Axel was looking at him was overwhelming and he was too close. "What?! Will you stop looking at me like that and get dressed already!?" He blurted out. Axel's eyes widened and he grinned crookedly. Roxas felt the blood drain from his face, realizing what he'd done. The red-head's next words brought it rushing back.

"Why? Nothing you haven't seen before," he replied archly, his green eyes sparkling at the boy's blush. He bent toward the blond teasingly, making him gasp dramatically as their noses brushed, grinning wildly. Before he could say anything, Roxas shoved him away, harder this time, and the red-head toppled backwards, falling off the bed before he could react. Impossibly wide blue eyes widened and he stared at the spot Axel had been.

He got off of the bed, rushed toward the door and left the room, both afraid of his own emotions and the red-head's inevitable anger.

xXx