Jenn woke early the next morning, but she refused to move. In fact, she wondered if she even could move. All the falling and different things she'd done in that mine had left a number of bruises on her body, not to mention sore muscles and minor cuts here and there. She'd slept well enough that night, but getting out of bed seemed to be the biggest challenge.

Then she remembered that she'd arranged for herself, Carter, and McKay to take the day off. With a smile, she snuggled back down into the covers and dozed, missing the sunrise through her window. When she did wake again, it was well past dawn, and the sunlight warmed the foot of her bed. Deciding she needed to move before her bladder burst, she forced herself out of bed with a groan.

An email waited for her. She opened it and smiled.

How does sun, sand, and waves sound? Email me when you're awake. Evan.

Sun, sand, and waves sounded almost perfect right then. Jenn quickly answered the email with one of her own, hesitating before she sent it. He'd told her that he loved her, that he wasn't sure he could face life without her. And what had she done? She'd kissed him. Jenn now wondered if adding, "Love you" to the end of the email would be appropriate or just salt in an open wound. Even though he hadn't said anything last night, she'd seen the questions in his eyes when he left her at her quarters after their drink and dinner.

Irritated at herself for not responding in a way that made Evan happy, she simply added her name to the email and hit send. Then, she scoured her closet. What did she take for a day at the beach? She had sandals, a pair of shorts, and a baby doll shirt that would work. When she'd come to Atlantis, she hadn't packed any sort of bathing suit. Then, she looked down at her still-bandaged hands. Salt water in those rope burns would likely hurt as bad as the antibacterial ointment her staff had used to clean them. Getting in the water of the ocean beyond wading in the edges probably wasn't the best idea.

By the time she was dressed, Evan had returned her email with one of his own, telling her to be ready in an hour. Jenn pulled her hair into a ponytail and slowly straightened her room. She needed the day. After the last couple of weeks, she'd wondered if she could even survive in Pegasus much longer. Evan had made that possible, and she loved him for it. Great, Jenn, she thought. You think the words, but you don't tell him. Some girlfriend you are.

Just as quickly, her logical brain responded. You don't know what you feel for Evan, yet. Don't rush it.

"Even if he's ready to admit what he's feeling?"

Especially now.

"But, what if he expects something?"

He won't. You know Evan well enough to know he has no expectations beyond what you're willing to provide. And he won't push you. He's already said that.

"Yeah." Jenn pushed herself to her feet and dug her sandals out of her closet. She didn't want to argue with herself any longer, but her brain refused to back down. She should have told him how she felt. But she wasn't entirely sure. She'd once believed she loved Gary, and look how that had worked out. Rather than dwelling, she rose and packed her crochet bag. If she was going to enjoy the day, she might as well work on this never-ending project.

Evan appeared before she figured out her own emotions. He smiled at her, gave her an appreciative twice-over, and laced his fingers with hers while trying to carry a picnic basket, blanket, and sunscreen.

Jenn laughed at his juggling act. "Give me something to carry."

"If you insist." He stole a kiss while handing the blanket over.

As they walked through the halls to the Jumper bay, Jenn felt the stares and smiles of people around her. Neither of them wore their base uniforms, and she knew she'd just become the envy of about a third of the women on Atlantis. Evan, however, seemed to notice none of it.

When they arrived at the Jumper via a back route that avoided the control room, Jenn figured out just how much thought Evan had put into this little outing. He'd already packed his easel, a canvas, and his paints. Suddenly, she didn't feel so bad about bringing a craft bag, though the thought of sitting on a beach crocheting with the most gorgeous man alive next to her seemed a little ridiculous.

Through the short ride to the mainland, Jenn watched Evan. He focused completely on his flying until they lost sight of Atlantis. Then, he relaxed slightly and let the Jumper's auto-pilot take over until the mainland came into view. Once that happened, he flew toward the equatorial regions of the planet, finally finding the perfect place to set down. Jenn waited while the Jumper's hatch opened and then stepped out of the small ship.

So this is what Columbus felt when he landed in the New World. Jenn stared, not wanting to move from this spot. Unadulterated white sand spread out before them, the ocean turquoise in color and rolling in to shore with waves that would make any surfer proud. A few pieces of driftwood marred the sandy beach, but she didn't want to put a single footprint on the sand. Not yet. With the tree-line providing a dark green edge to the white sand and the sun shimmering off the water, she understood why Evan had chosen this spot.

He chuckled from behind her and snapped a quick picture on his digital camera. Jenn turned, thankful he hadn't aimed the camera at her. She thought she understood, though. With a picture, he could likely finish the painting he planned to begin.

For the next hour, they chatted lightly as they spread out the blanket, set up his easel, and made themselves at home on the beach. Jenn smiled as the sun began to soak into her sore muscles, easing the aches from yesterday's adventure. She slathered on the sunscreen, allowing Evan to paint without interruption as she stared at the ocean. It was beautiful. Mesmerizing. Now she understood why so many people painted it.

By midafternoon, they had talked about everything under the sun save one thing. Coran. Jenn had spent a lot of time with the boy in the last few days, and she worried about him now that he'd gone to a new family. Evan tried to reassure her that Coran had chosen these people, but she still wondered if he shouldn't have stayed on Atlantis a little longer. They still knew very little about the neurotoxin. As she talked, he cleaned a brush and dropped onto the blanket next to her.

"Hey, you did everything you could." He shook his head. "There's nothing else you can do. With time, we'll figure this out. We'll find out who is behind this and solve it. But, until then, you can't beat yourself up for something beyond your control."

"I know." She tried to smile, but it appeared as more of a grimace. "I just. . . ."

He nodded. "I understand."

And that was precisely why she loved him. She opened her mouth, but the words still wouldn't come out.

Instead of the romantic things she wanted to say, her stomach growled. Jenn flushed as Evan laughed and tugged the picnic basket over. "That's a good indication I'm not feeding you enough."

"It's an indication I didn't eat breakfast." She joined in the laughter at her expense and sat cross-legged on the blanket while he revealed their lunch. They ate without much conversation, and Jenn preferred it. Sometimes, the best company didn't need words. And, looking at Evan, she knew she'd never need to fill the silences.

After the remains of their lunch were cleaned up, she watched as he stretched out on the blanket, hands behind his head. She wanted to join him, to lay her head on his shoulder. Instead, she propped her head on her hand, using her elbow to keep her head off the blanket. "This is just about perfect."

Evan glanced at her and rolled to his side, using one elbow to prop himself up. "Yeah, it is."

Jenn flushed at his appraising glance. "I meant the beach. . .and. . . ."

"I know." His eyes sparkled as he glanced over her body. "I didn't."

Her breath hitched, and she smiled when he leaned to kiss her. This time, however, he let the kiss linger and intensify. Before long, she let him lower her to the ground and simply enjoyed the idea that they were alone on a deserted beach on an alien planet. Who would see them here? When his hand traveled from her shoulders down her side and back up, Jenn shivered at the idea that things could go further than a simple kiss.

But Evan clearly had other ideas. He pulled away, his breath ragged as he stared at her from an inch above her face. "You're beautiful."

She smiled and finally found her voice. "I'd return the compliment, but I don't think 'beautiful' is a term you'd like attached to you."

He laughed, this time softly, as he kissed her again. A moment later, he pushed himself up and held out a hand. "Come on. Let's take a walk."

Jenn blinked at the sudden change in activity but let him pull her to her feet. She walked a few steps beside him, trying to figure out exactly why he'd stopped when both of them were willing to let nature take its course between them.

Evan glanced at her and pulled her close as they walked. "Don't even think it's because I don't want you."

"What?" Jenn asked even though she knew the answer. His ability to read her face, however, had stunned her.

He smiled and leaned close, whispering in her ear. "I want you, Jennifer Keller, like I've never wanted any other woman in my life. But you're not ready. So, I'll wait."

She struggled to breathe. The tickle of his breath on her ear, his nearness, his words. . . . If she wasn't already in love with him, she'd have fallen over the edge right then. And, yet, she couldn't say the words. Some irrational fear settled into her stomach. When she and Gary had said those three little words to each other, things had changed. He'd felt entitled to her favors, and she'd discovered that "love" meant an entirely different thing to him.

Evan, on the other hand, loved her and was willing to wait. Maybe not forever, but he refused to rush her. The difference in the two men who had shared her life astounded her. Why couldn't she have found Evan years ago and avoided all the hurt with Gary? Why couldn't she have found him when she was willing to tell him how she felt, to share that special place in he held in her heart with him?

An hour later, as they walked back to the Jumper hand-in-hand, their shoes dangling from their fingertips as they let the surf roll over their feet, Jenn determined to find a way to tell him exactly how she felt about him. She decided that he'd hear the words one day. Soon. Just as soon as she conquered her own, irrational fears.

oOo

Once back on Atlantis, Evan escorted Jenn to her quarters and left her there after another toe-curling kiss. His mind went back to that moment on the beach, when the sun, waves, and breeze had allowed him to consider changing their relationship. But he'd known she wasn't ready. Nor was he, for that matter.

Evan Lorne had known women. He'd had his share of experiences with them, and he knew what sex did to a relationship. He wanted more for his relationship with Jenn. She wasn't a momentary diversion for him, and he refused to treat her that way. Besides, she hadn't said the words.

As he changed into his base uniform and headed to the control room for a sit rep from Sheppard, Evan shook his head. He shouldn't be so bothered by the fact that Jenn hadn't returned his sentiment last night in the infirmary. But he was. He'd laid his heart on the line, revealed something he thought he'd never know, and she'd simply kissed him. He'd hoped for something a little more than a simple kiss. And it frustrated him.

In the control room, Evan saw worried faces and various scowls. He moved to Carter's office, where the colonel sat with her casted leg propped on her couch. "Colonel?"

"Major." She straightened. "Welcome back."

"Thanks." He motioned behind him. "What's happening?"

"We've lost contact with Midway."

"You've what?"

"Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay are checking it out." She smiled slightly. "It was your day off, Major. And Colonel Sheppard insisted that you not be interrupted given the last couple of weeks. I know they've been hard with the village and the neurotoxin threat."

"Colonel Shep-!" Evan squelched the disrespectful words that came to mind. Jenn had done more than led him to lie to his CO and break into her quarters. She'd rearranged his entire life. "I see."

Carter glanced up at him. "Something you wanted to say, Major?"

"No, Ma'am." He nodded politely and left the office before he said something he'd regret. Rather than sticking around the control room, he went to his office and glared at the pile of paperwork still waiting for him. He had a couple of mission reports to type, and his team needed an extra person until Reed recovered from his sprained ankle. He had plenty to keep him busy.

So why did he feel like taking someone's head off?

~TBC