Aint too proud to beg, 11

Aliaslaceygreen

Not mine, not making any money….

Wow. Poor Julie I thought, looking away for a moment as I felt tears well in my eyes for his little girl. I looked back at him finally, and the intensity of his gaze peering at me through his heavy lashes, waiting for me to say something; for me to kick my other shoe off and not run away---. I didn't know how to describe what I felt radiating from him. It felt like a plea… silent but intense, begging something of me….

I finally looked away again. I couldn't think while he was watching me. He tripped me up. Staring at me, he made me think that the thing in the world I wanted most (other than to be in his pants) was to cater to an almost seven year old while playing the dating game. Holy crap. While he had been upstairs putting his daughter to bed I had thought of my nieces and Marylou's kids, the only children I had any experience with, and somehow I couldn't find that I was lacking anything by not wanting to get involved any further. Oh. Right, the orgasm he's been taunting me with every time he even looks at me. Damn.

I mean Damn! The memories of babysitting any of them were mind-numbing. Well, Julie was out of diapers, thank god for small favors. But I had seen her take her father's hand earlier tonight. She was staking her claim loud and clear. She probably wouldn't like me. That woman he had been seeing, well at least she had a kid. That probably distracted her. Shit. If I have to be bringing along Mary Alice all the time--!

I let out a sigh that was louder than I had anticipated and I felt Carlos grab my hand. I looked up then from my little pity party. The blackness of his eyes was not entirely from hurt. There was still the lust reading through.

"Babe."

I would call it pleading, although in all the years of dreaming of him, of remembering our few days together, I would never have known he knew how to plead. Would need to plead. I let my hand stay in his. A small victory for him; I could see it in the way his shoulders squared. I let myself be pulled into his embrace, because god knows that was a far more comfortable place to be, tortured mind or not.

"You feel so good, babe," he whispered, his voice rough as he nuzzled his face into my hair. We didn't move, he wasn't massaging or rubbing or doing anything but being around me. I finally felt the tension melt and I relaxed into his arms.

My brain was not as willing to stop. The little synapses were firing, point A to point B and back around, trying to make sense of everything; trying to find out if he had lied? Why he lied. His daughter existed when we met, but he wasn't part of her life then, but he just said his—his--Rachel, Julie's mother-- was she his wife? Fuck. Had he been married when I met him? I must have been tensing up again as I was thinking because his arms had begun a rhythmic rubbing from my shoulders to elbows and back up, steadily, smoothly and it no longer felt sexual. He finally spoke. "Ask me babe. I know you want to."

"I shouldn't be making a big deal of this should I?" I twisted to look at him, and his expression didn't change. "Babe. If you need to ask me something, ask. I've never lied to you." My expression must have indicated I thought otherwise, because he touched my nose, and his lips twitched slightly. "Lies of omission? Yes," he admitted.

Shit. He was married. "Babe." His eyes were dancing and his mouth curved into a full smile. "I said that out loud?"

He nodded and laughed lowly, pulling me closer to his body. His face darkened before he began to speak. "I was divorced when I met you. Barely. But the marriage was for Julie's sake only. I had already agreed to allow Rachel's new husband to adopt Julie when I met you. When I left for Florida to handle some business, it was finalizing things before I began Ranger school. I didn't see Julie again until she was brought to the VA hospital a year and a half ago by my sisters, who had decided I was going to raise her after Rachel's death."

I caught the emotion in his eyes as he shared this with me and I felt privileged that he let me in. I could tell it was hard for him to share. My hand cupped his cheek and I leaned over to kiss him, to let him know I appreciated his confidence. "It's been….. interesting," he murmured, taking time to find the right word. "I'm not particularly skilled at fatherhood. I'm not suited to it. But we're managing I think. She says she loves me." There was a tone of wonder and surprise in the last bit.

"Of course she loves you," I whispered into his ear, having fully moved myself by this time onto his lap, after kicking off my shoe again. How could someone not love him, I thought, as I straddled his hips. My skirt shimmied up my thighs, and I pulled his head closer to me. I lay my cheek onto the top of his head and arched my back toward him. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted him to know how loved he was. I loved him. But I couldn't voice that out loud. It seemed too soon, too desperate. He groaned in pleasure as he turned his face and found himself burrowing in my chest. I sighed and giggled softly. "Babe." His breathing was becoming more labored, his hands splaying across the small of my back, pulling me even closer.

"Come to bed with me babe, please stay," he whispered into the valley of my flesh, planting a kiss on the top of my breast, tickling me. I was reveling in the feeling of warmth, of the tingle his breath was causing to run up and down my spine. I had never felt this way before. No one had ever been able to send me over the edge with simply a touch.

Julie, his marriage, everything else was going to have to be thought about later. I couldn't deny the feelings I had for him. "Babe," he groaned once more. I wanted his lips to be on me again, I wanted to finally have him make love to me. I pulled back and looked down at him with a knowing smile on my face. I licked my lips and kissed the tip of his nose and told him okay.

Somehow he propelled us both up from the couch, and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist to avoid falling on my ass. He didn't miss a step as he carried me effortlessly up the stairs as I had just watched him do a short time ago with Julie. "I'm too heavy, put me down," I giggled into his ear, mindful not to be too loud. I didn't want to wake his child. My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck as we arrived at the top of the steps. "Never," he growled lowly.

He held me tighter and didn't let me go until we had arrived at the most sumptuous looking bed I had ever seen. The covers were velvety black in color, but satin in feel, and full of feathers I decided, as he pried my hands apart and dropped me into their depths. He stood back and turned on a bedside lamp, and then gazed at me again. I lay with my legs flat out, my arms above my head exactly as he had deposited me. "I've dreamt about you in my bed babe. For so long I've wanted to see you lying there …." He knelt onto the bed as he spoke and slowly crawled up the length of me, carefully exploring every part of my anatomy with his luscious warm lips. His fingers found the lace edge of my stockings and I heard him let out a sigh as he stopped kissing my thigh long enough to work his fingers under them and peel them off my legs, one at a time, slowly, sensually.

I was overcome by the feeling he could trigger. The power of his lips, of his fingers. The weight of his body on mine. He had worked off my dress, and bra, and thong, and I was as floppy as jello. He made every part of me hum. His lips and tongue were capable of being on every inch of my skin at once. I could feel the sucking, the licking, and the power of him everywhere. And he had on far too many clothes!

I tugged at his shirt, and tried to work at the buttons. But I was incapable of moving him unless he wanted to move. He finally gave in to my efforts and rolled off me and stretched out on the bed, his eyes almost closed, hooded; his long lashes hiding the fact he was watching my every move. Only the fact his breathing was still irregular told me he was still conscious. He didn't move in any other way. I tugged finally at the last button, revealing his chest as I opened the shirt. Even lying still, his strength and power was obvious. His muscles were well defined, his skin was toned and smooth. The darkness of his skin, a mocha-latte shade of brown darkened further by the sun, against the pale ivory of my hand running along the planes of his chest was exhilarating to me, fascinating.

My fingers continued their exploration, sliding up his chest, over his nipples which had pebbled under my touch, and they slid along his shoulders, into the sleeves of his black silk shirt. The feeling of cool silk and hot skin together was making me crazy. I felt the heat of his skin travel through me to my center, and I almost groaned at the sensation. I leaned down toward his neck, and sucked at the spot where I could see his blood pulsing through his veins.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but he reacted quickly to the sudden pressure on his skin. His arms encircled me, capturing my hands as they were all tangled into his shirt. I found myself being flipped under him, and then he sucked hard on the exact same place on my neck. His eyes were blazing with desire as he pushed himself up and looked down upon me. The definition of 'wolf grin' was illustrated clearly on his face. "Playing with fire babe," he breathed into my neck. He bent again to steal a kiss from my lips before pulling away again and studying me.

My arms were freed finally, and I continued to run them along his upper arms, now getting to feel the bulge of muscle in his upper arms as he held himself above me. Sliding his shirt down once more, and in defiance of his warning, I nipped gently at every bit of skin I could reach, and raked my fingernails along those parts out of reach of my teeth. He stopped battling me briefly, so he could toss the shirt out of the way, before falling back to the task at hand --- encircling my neck with nips and sucks and kisses. His mouth began then to trail down toward my breasts and I was aching for him to pull a nipple into his mouth. Memories of the other night assaulted me and I cried out as his teeth tugged roughly at me, sucking on me as his fingers slowly trailed farther south and found me moist and waiting for him.