ARGH.

Oh my lord, guys. I had up to Chapter 30 written on my brand new laptop that I got for Christmas. And it's only gone and crashed three months into use, wiping its own hard drive in a suicide attempt at which it succeeded. The nice tech-guy told me basically I ain't getting anything back, but at least I get a free hard drive replacement, right?

The only chapter to survive the purge was this one, which I uploaded to the document manager literally hours before the laptop erased my literary life. I'm sticking this up from work (shhhhh!) but being as I lost all my A-level coursework and some other stuff I'm going to be a little bit busy, so it might be a while before I'm ahead of myself enough to get back to the fortnightly update. Hope you guys understand. And don't worry! I love this fic too much to abandon it.

PREVIOUSLY

The storm breaks over Tristan's ferry with the Trinity caravan and Bal Dat aboard, putting all four caravanners and their mission at terrible risk. When their caravan looks set to plunge into the sea, Ciaran, Kass, Mioko and Sera are out and safe - until Sera remembers that she left the chalice in the caravan.

Chapter 21: Self Sacrifice

Even as she dropped back into the caravan, Sera felt the rope snap.

The caravan swung ninety degrees around her, throwing her into the bunk as one wheel came free and rolled round. When she dared open her eyes, she saw that the door was now facing along the boat. The upward slope was no more. If only she could be quick! She had seconds left. Perhaps not even that. In her mind's eye she could almost see the second rope, sodden and strained to the limit, the only thing that was keeping the sea from swallowing her alive.

Trembling, she hooked her feet round the bunk post for security and locked her knees. Then, ever so carefully, she reached up towards the chalice. The crystal winked at her, a brilliant blue flash as the lightning struck again outside. Sera felt her hands touch the cool, smooth surface of the chalice and tentatively unhooked it. Once done, she hugged the damn thing protectively to her body.

Summoning everything in her that was Selkie - grace, agility, speed - she tensed each muscle and then set off along cautiously but quickly the gap between the bunks. Her feet didn't slip, she didn't stumble, so lightly did she touch the planks. With just a foot to go though, a wave broke over the side of the ship and struck the tiny Trinity caravan with such force that Sera was flung to the floor. She went with the fall, knowing there was no way she could stay upright, leaning into it instead to soften the landing. Landing out on her stomach, she felt the caravan lurch at the impact and threw out an arm. For one gods-awful moment she though the myrrh had spilled out over the rim of the chalice, and almost cried with relief when she released it was rain.

Sera managed to get her fingers over the edge of the nearest bunk to help pull herself up. Inch by inch, she heaved herself up, trying to gauge the rocking of the deck, the task made doubly difficult by the chalice that was sloshing perilously in the crook of her right arm. She felt drunk. Clumsy. Mioko and Ciaran were shouting her name.

Then came a second snap.

The caravan began to skid sideways, wheels locked in place but the weight of the thing obeying gravity as it slipped down the rolling deck. Sera could do nothing but hang on, freedom just a foot away.

Abruptly, the caravan jerked. It felt like it had stopped momentarily. Then it happened again, for a longer time. And again. For some reason, the caravan was slowing down. Sera instinctively began to crawl forward again, clutching the chalice. The second her head was out of the cabin she looked for the source of her salvation.

It was Bal Dat.

Somehow, the brigand had managed to catch hold of the flailing second rope as it snapped. Setting his feet behind the vacated Marr's Pass caravan block, he leaned back, putting all his weight into stopping the caravan swinging into the sea. Artemicion had sunk his little teeth into the rope as was flapping for all he was worth.

It was lucky for Bal that the caravan had been sideways and the wheels locked, otherwise the wheels would simply have rolled back and there would have been no way his wiry, lean weight could make a difference. As it was, he could slow it down. But even now the pain of holding the entire caravan on board the ship was showing. His knee almost buckled, and he was bending double. Red in the face, teeth grinding and bandanna flapping wetly in the wind, the brigand was losing the battle. He looked up and met Sera's eyes.

"Get out," he mouthed silently, every movement costing him. "Get out."

Galvanised, Sera climbed upright and began to scramble out. Ciaran and Rolf Wood had run to assist the brigand, grabbing the rope to keep the caravan still. They did not have the advantage of purchase on the blocks that Bal did, however, and their efforts made little difference as their feet slipped in the torrents. Sera reached the edge of the backboard and looked out onto the wildly rocking deck. If she jumped and the ship rolled even just a little, she would miss her footing and plunge into the sea.

"Jump, Sera!" Ciaran roared, just as Mioko shouted hysterically up to the captain, "Turn the wheel the other way RIGHT NOW!"

The captain obeyed instinctively, he, his crew and the other Lilties all ramming the wheel sharply back the other way. As the ship rolled the other way, the caravan skidded away from the breach in the railings and nearer to the mast. Sera was safe. Hastily, Mioko and the others set about using the now much shorter lengths of ropes to tie the nearest wheel to the mast again.

Sera staggered over to where Bal had collapsed of exhaustion on the deck, covering the top of the chalice to stop the pounding rain getting into the myrrh. The Selkie thief wasn't moving at all, not even making an effort to get his sopping hair off his face; she couldn't see his chest moving either, but that was because of the rain in her eyes.

Or so she hoped.

"Bal?" she said tremulously. "Bal, are you still with me?"

The brigand didn't reply. Artemicion licked his face worriedly.

"Bal?" Sera said.

He stirred irritably, but didn't open his eyes. His arm bent at the elbow so that he could wave a hand dismissively at her. "What?"

"Are you alright?"

"None of your business."

Sera almost laughed. He was fine. She poked him, very gently.

"What happened to just looking after number one?"

Bal still didn't open his eyes. "I did look after my number one."

Sera blinked.

"Sera!" Ciaran yelled, "Look out!"

A wave burst over the ship's rails, sending a deluge of water pouring down the ship. Sera was too stunned to move, and was fortunate in that the main body of water missed her. Bal was not so lucky, and the water struck him with incredible force. He was carried across the deck by the torrent and through the gap in the railings. Mioko screamed.

Almost throwing the chalice to Ciaran, Sera pelted across the deck to the gap and looked out onto the sea. She couldn't see the brigand anywhere.

"BAL!" she yelled. "Bal, where are you? BAL!"

There was no answer. The giant grey blue waves just pounded the side of the boat as if mocking her, sending spray cascading all over her face. They were so high, and so savage - and so cold. Wherever Bal was, if she didn't get him out of the water he'd freeze to death before he drowned.

Without thinking, she grabbed Artemicion as the moogle tried to fly past her and dive into the ocean.

"Boss, kupo!" the little moogle wailed in distress. "Boss!"

When Sera refused to release him despite his struggles, Artemicion bit her as hard as he possibly could. Sera let go with a cry of pain and the moogle too disappeared into the rain.

"No! Artemicion!" Sera called frantically, but the moogle did not come back. In a sudden flash of inspiration, Sera remembered the water barrel that the captain kept on deck. It was almost empty now, she recalled - where was it now?

She spotted it a moment later, leaning against the railings to her right. As quickly as she could, she tugged it over to the gap and sent it into the water with kick.

"Bal, if you're there, grab the barrel!" she shouted. Her desperate hope sounded thin even to her. The wooden float disappeared from sight almost immediately, lost in the rolling waves, but it was a small comfort. All the energy suddenly seeped from her limbs and Sera sat down hard onto the deck, drenched through to the bone and hair dripping salt water.

She bit her knuckles, painfully, and concentrated on that rather than anything else.

I will not cry.

"Blizzard," Mioko said as calmly as she could. "Blizzard - blizzard - "

Quite methodically she moved around the caravan, utilising the rainwater that had collected on deck to freeze the structure into place. It would hold until warmer weather, when the storm had blown over. The lightning and thunder had long since vanished; the waves were still higher than was comfortable, and the wind was still shooting the raindrops across the deck like bullets, but the captain was certain things would have calmed down within the day.

Hours passed. Long hours.

Sera was sat in the damp cabin. She'd tried to persuade the captain to wait about in case Bal resurfaced, but he'd merely shrugged the matter off. His boat was in disrepair and he had passengers to consider - besides, the Selkie who'd gone over hadn't paid. Why should he be let back on? Ciaran had had to haul her away. Mutely, she sat and hugged her knees.

Luckily for the Trinity caravan, most of the water that had gotten inside the cabin was rain rather than salty sea spray. Mioko had already washed all the clothes, sheets and pans and they hung about Sera's head like ghosts, drying slowly. The equipment that had come loose in the storm had merely been left in a jumbled pile at the end of the caravan, to be sorted later. No one felt like doing it now. Sera's mattress had escaped a lot of the water and was hardly wet at all, but the Selkie could not sleep.

There came a knock at the door and Ciaran's head came into the quietly-dripping cabin cautiously.

"Sera?" he said softly, "are you awake?"

"Yes," she replied flatly. The Clavat entered the caravan and, ducking under the line of washing, climbed up the ladder so that he could see her properly.

"The captain says he'll make dinner tonight. You haven't eaten since this morning. I know you aren't very hungry but you have to have something."

"I don't want anything, Ciaran."

Ciaran bit his lip, and then tried again. "Sera, come and eat just a little bit. Come on, please. Mioko's going mad with worry."

Sera stirred a little at that, so Ciaran pressed on.

"If you come out and eat just a mouthful she'll feel much better. Come on, for me."

Wordlessly, the Selkie swung herself down and followed Ciaran out onto the deck. Kass had come round an hour ago and was sat in the doorway to the crew quarters with Mioko and the caravan from Marr's Pass. The little Lilty hadn't said much but everyone was putting it down to shellshock. As she and Ciaran approached, Leuts Royce held out a glass container of some sort. Sera sat down, staring at it.

"Striped apple cider," the Lilty explained. "It'll make you feel better."

"You shouldn't drink on an empty stomach," Mioko chimed in worriedly, but Sera took the tumbler offered anyway and watched Leuts pour a decent measure in. The Lilty did the same for everyone else. Ciaran took a mouthful without thinking about it, swallowing absently; Mioko stared into her cup at the pungent stuff before trying the tiniest drop and coughing at its strength; Kass poured his into Sera's when she wasn't looking. Sera downed both hers and Kass's measures in one go without even flinching. When Mioko presented her with a bowl of stew and a dumpling, she took it quietly to placate the Clavat. She had no intention of eating it.

Oh, Bal…

The captain's shadow arrived before he did. Everyone looked up at him as he halted a few paces away.

"If we keep on, we'll be at Leuda first light tomorrow," he said with brittle cheer. "Damage isn't as bad as I first thought. It's fixable."

"Fixable?" Sera said suddenly. She stood up quickly, almost spilling her stew all over the deck, "Not as bad as you thought? Someone - went - overboard! You unfeeling piece of - "

Mioko took her hand and pulled her back down gently, putting an arm around her.

"Sera," she said distractedly. "You can't expect him to understand. He doesn't know. He doesn't care. Don't waste your breath, it's not worth it."

Sera fell silent, shaking with anger. For an hour or so she moved her stew around with her spoon, watching it gradually cool, before retiring to her damp mattress and falling into a fitful slumber.

That night she dreamed of the sea, stormy just like it had been only hours before. She went straight overboard, plummeting into the water - and she couldn't swim! Why couldn't she swim? Her legs were so heavy, she was sinking into the cold - and then someone's hand caught hold of her flailing arm and pulled her free of the water, free of the crests of the waves. Bal! Was it Bal? She looked up and saw not Bal but a strange women dressed in a flowing white dress that rippled with the winds of another world. With the woman holding her by the hand as if she weighed no more than a feather, Sera flew higher and higher until she was above the clouds.

"Who are you?" Sera asked, her voice sounding thin and unfamiliar. "Do you know where Bal Dat is?"

And the woman shook her head and let go of Sera. The Selkie screamed as she fell, and it seemed like she was falling forever and yet somehow for less than a second. She hit something soft and squashy and rolled, floundering upright.

Where am I?

Then, not feet away, she saw De Nam. He was sat on the cold, squelching ground, making notes on soggy parchment with a look of determination on his oh-so-comforting features. He looked fine. Safe. Sera felt a wave of relief and affection wash over her, which vanished with a jolt as the white woman appeared in front of her again.

"I remember," the white woman said. The voice puzzled Sera, for it sounded so childlike coming from the mouth of one who radiated such wisdom. Sera tried to look at the woman, to guess her age, but found that she could not see her face.

"You remember what?" Sera asked, baffled. The woman said something else, but it sounded like she was shouting from the other end of a tunnel. The voice was distorted, echoing. Like the sound of the chime that rang out at a myrrh collection. Sera reached out to try and touch the woman -

- and, abruptly, the dream ended.

Sera realised her arm was in the air, as if someone had been holding it up. A drop of water fell from the ceiling and onto her forehead; she winced. That must have been why she had been dreaming of the sea. The droplet ran down her cheek and along her lip. Absently, she licked it before sitting up. The first rays of light were streaming through the hairline crack around the edge of the caravan door.

Dawn.

All three of her friends were still asleep. Ciaran was sat, back against the caravan wall, on a thick pile of blankets so that Mioko and Kass could sleep on his bunk because their mattresses were too wet. Sera let herself out quietly, climbing over Ciaran and off the caravan backboard and onto the deck. She shot a glare of hatred at the sea, now innocently, deceitfully calm. Then, skirting the shattered rail, she made her way over to the captain. Sensing her inner flame of anger was still burning quite fiercely, the captain wisely decided to wait until she deigned to speak to him.

"That's Leuda," Sera said after a moment. Her sharp eyes had discerned a growing black shape on the horizon. The captain nodded.

"Aye."

"How long?" the Selkie asked.

"About two hours."

"Right," Sera didn't even thank the Lilty, going instead to lounge in the shadow of the mast and take deep, calming breaths of cold morning air. There she stayed until the ferry coasted to a halt at Leuda's shabby port, which rang resoundingly in the early morning with the shouts of Selkies.

End of chapter

I'm sorry, Bal.