You guys all rock!! Your positive feedback and encouraging words truly make my day. It really means so much to me!
I'm hesitant to post this chapter because I feel as if you are all going to hate me. Two things happen that I feel I will get a lot of backlash. I apologize in advance, but know I don't encourage drug use or casual sex. Don't hate me because I am certain you will like the ending!!!
PrettyInPink 9787 - Who doesn't love Smut?
Princesssparkle88 - I'm glad you can recognize Sandy's dilema.
Jennylovekandy - I think your review was cut off mid-sentence.
Moviesareourbusiness, jen, Cheerleader2006, DisneyGirl829, Robbie - Thanks for the review.
Michelle - A Carsten fan? I'm more of a Kirsten fan as well, but ultimately a Kandy fan.
Slinn01 - You're absolutely right. Nicole's patience is wearing thin and I want to slowly let the reader not like her. That has been a challenge. Therapy is something I would consider, but I am trying to let Sandy realize things on his own. It is just going to take some time. Also I didn't mean to portray Kirsten ignoring her children. I am going to try and rectify that.
SexyEm - Glad you liked the flashback. I was trying to think of something over the top for a proposal, but I went with something simpler. And there was something you mentioned in your review that was dead on. Not going to state what it is, but that is the exact direction this story is going!!!
KrabbyPatty - Glad you liked the Julie/Kirsten drunk part. I really enjoyed writing it.
Twinkletoesnelly - I definitely think Kirsten is insecure. I thought Josh Schwartz wrote her character that way when the whole Rebecca thing happened. I'll never forget her line..."The woman you were supposed to marry before ending up with me." Nothing says insecurity like that.
Perla25 - I'm not saying a word!
x-christa-x - Thank for the compliment about writing that Nicole/Sandy scene. I wasn't sure if I was able to put into words what I thought it my head.
Tiffany - You weren't the only one who was worried about Nicole/Sandy little vacation. And you're not beating a dead horse. Maybe I will consider a Peter/Kelly story that develops slowly.
Nova - I really hope you give this fic a chance because it really is not all Jimmy/Kirsten. It is mostly Kandy.
Bluetoffee - Have no fear, Jimmy and Sandy will eventually face off!
Kandyfanz123 - You're right. I don't think the ball will ever be in Sandy's court.
Beachgirl67 - I'm really glad you gave this fic a chance. To answer your question, I do write for a living but not in this capacity. I work at a TV News station so it is usually the who, what, whens and wheres. I wish I got to write emotional stuff for a living. I'm still young though. Maybe one day. Thanks for the props.
Panzie - I can't help but ask..when are you going to post a new story??
Kandy4ever - Have no fear, there will be steamy stuff ahead.
He stared at those papers for eight weeks. Two months went by and the longer he waited, the more convinced he was that he was never going to sign them. Fifty-six days and they were once again at a standstill. He wasn't ready to forgive Kirsten, but he wasn't ready to let her go. He should have figured Kirsten's patience would run out. He should have figured her strong will and self-pride would over rule the situation.
He didn't want to lie to himself anymore. Thoughts of forgiving Kirsten, breaking up with Nicole, moving back home plagued his mind every minute of every day. He hated that he was the one with all the power in deciding what was going to happen. He also knew that whatever happens, it was going to effect Seth and Ryan in more ways than one.
The boys have finally gotten to a point where the life they were all living was becoming more of the norm. Ryan was finally accepting the fact that none of what went on was his fault. Sandy and Kirsten couldn't be happier that he was solidifying a place in their family. Seth was showing Sandy more respect and was well on his way to forgiving Kirsten. Sandy knew deep down Seth was extremely disappointed in his mother, but the fact that he was trying made Sandy very proud.
Kirsten was in a much happier place now as well. She knew what happened in her office with Sandy was not the best thing for their mending relationship. In the past two months, nothing physical was going on between them, but this has been the closest they had been since this whole thing started. For the first time in their entire lives, their relationship was strictly platonic. They were actually becoming friends and as much as Kirsten wanted her old life back, she was okay with it. She knew that if this was how things were going to be between them, she could accept it.
Sandy was spending a lot more time at home, trying to mend all the pieces of his broken family. After a lengthy discussion with Seth and Ryan, they both have made a point to be a part of the healing process. He knew Nicole wasn't happy about any of this, but he told her that she had to accept the fact that he has a family that he will always be a part of, no matter what ultimately happens between Kirsten and himself.
There were a few arguments about it, but nothing that would have entirely squashed their relationship. How could it? Nicole was not a very confrontational person, something Sandy really wasn't crazy about. She never fought for anything, never felt passionate enough about anything; never let herself think outside the box. Sandy was learning a lot about her and she really was a wonderful person, but he wasn't so sure she was the wonderful person for him.
The reason he fell in love with Kirsten was because she was a fighter and stood strongly behind her beliefs. She never backed down and challenged Sandy from the day they met.
They had been dating for about six months and her parents were coming up to Berkeley to visit for Parent's Weekend. Kirsten knew that there was not one part of her life at Berkeley that her parents would approve of, knowing that Sandy would fall into that category. Living in a small dorm room, purchasing used books, second-hand furniture were just some of the things to set her father off. Adding a liberal, self-righteous boyfriend into the mix would not be a good thing.
She thought about telling Sandy they were coming. He mentioned that there was no way his mother would fly across the country for something so minimal. She just figured that they were really not that serious, plus she knew her father would scare Sandy off.
It was a big mistake on her part to have too much to drink the night before. It was a mistake to have Sandy take her home and spend the night. It was a mistake to forget to set the alarm clock and it was a mistake to oversleep.
The first thing she heard that morning was a knock on the door. The first thing she felt was the splitting headache and the dry mouth. Then it all hit her.
Knock.
Parents.
Overslept.
Sandy.
Bed.
She didn't know which way to move first. She gave Sandy a hard shove. "Sandy!" She whispered urgently. "You have to get up. My parents are here. You have to hide." She ripped the covers off, jumping out of bed and pulling Sandy along with her.
"What's going on?" He asked sleepily.
"Just hide. I don't think it would be a good idea for you to meet my parents under these circumstances." She strongly stated.
"Kiki, are you there?" She heard her father call.
Sandy's eyes widened, when he grasped the full picture. "Wow. He sounds pissed."
She grabbed his sneakers off the floor and pushed him towards her closet. "He's not mad. That is just the way he sounds." She said shaking her head.
He grabbed her into the closet with him and pulled her close. "I bet he would be pissed if he saw me do this." He cupped her face and kissed her passionately while trying to lift her tank top off.
Another knock.
Kirsten pulled away from Sandy. "Coming." She called back to the wooden door. "Just stay in here and I will get rid of them."
Once Kirsten greeted her parents, she made arrangements to meet them at a local restaurant in a half hour. She told them she needed time to quickly shower and get dressed. She could tell that her father was annoyed that she overslept, but it was better than him being mad about her overnight guest.
She opened the closet door giving Sandy permission to exit. "I'm sorry about that. I can't believe I overslept."
"Considering how many beers you drank last night, I would be surprised if you didn't oversleep."
"I'm sorry, but I have to get ready and meet them downtown." She didn't want to leave Sandy, but knew it was really out of her hands at this point.
"Why don't I come with you?" He asked.
Kirsten was shocked. She and Sandy weren't even that serious. They hadn't had sex yet and their relationship was not really defined as anything. She was just taken back that he would make such an offer. She tried to play off the weight that was just placed on her shoulder. "Believe me, you don't want to come. You have no idea what a nightmare my father could be." She started picking out something to wear, ignoring the hurt look on his face.
Sandy knew where she came from. He knew her background and the type of people she was born and bred to walk with. He immediately knew she was embarrassed of him. She couldn't dare let her father know she was hanging out with a democratic dreamer who comes from a blue-collar family.
"Are you sure?" He asked, trying one more time.
"I'm positive, but thanks for the offer." She knew she hurt his feelings and wanted to soften the blow. "But how about we meet up later for happy hour?" She thought she was doing this for the good of everyone involved.
Sandy was really pissed. She hurt his feelings and she didn't even know it. He knew that they were from different worlds but never did she seem to care about that. He was good enough for her at Berkeley, but not for her home life and her family. "Sure. I get it. See you later." He grabbed his things and left, slamming the door behind him.
A few hours later, Kirsten walked into the local pub to meet Sandy. She spotted him from across the bar and immediately noticed he didn't just get there. He looked like he had already has a few and she knew it had to do with her. She knew he was pissed when he left.
She wanted to approach this situation with ease, but knew Sandy was stubborn and things were going to be misconstrued. "Hi. Can I talk to you for a minute?" She wasn't going to let the problem linger. She always figured to face things head on and resolve things before they get out of hand.
Sandy handed his beer to his friend and they walked outside to talk. "How was your lunch? Or was it brunch?" He said sarcastically.
"Well at least now I don't need to ask if your mad."
"I just thought you were different. I guess my expectations were too high."
"What?" She didn't know he even had expectations.
"I get it. I get that you are a spoiled little rich girl who gets off on dating guys you would never bring home to Daddy. It's safe! This way you never really have to get close to anyone."
"You have a lot of nerve!" She had to hear things like that a lot while she was at Berkeley, but it was never from anyone who actually took the time to know her. That is why it hurt so bad hearing it from Sandy.
"I have a lot of nerve?" He asked. "You don't have the right to be mad. I thought you were different Kirsten. I thought you have valued the person I am from what you know of me. I guess none of it mattered."
"You're delusional. You have no idea what you are talking about!" She was getting so mad, she didn't even want to explain it to him.
"Let me ask you this. Do you think I'm stupid?" He said, feeling pathetic. When she didn't answer, he asked again. "Do you?"
"No." She said quietly.
"Then why would you think that I would never find out how you really felt?"
"You still have no idea how I really feel."
"I know that I'm not good enough to meet your father. I'm not worthy of an introduction. I could never fit into your pony-riding, tea party, country club life."
"That's not it!" She yelled, not wanting to keep it in any longer. "You can think whatever you want, but the truth is I didn't think it was fair to put you through having to be humiliated by my father. I think you are one of the most intelligent, generous, funny, selfless and caring people I have ever met. But you are also stubborn and judgmental. I was just trying to spare you the interrogation. I pride myself on the fact that I am nothing like my father. I have feelings and share emotions, but more importantly, I hate to be judged." With that, she walked away from him, not once looking back.
Not many people had the ability of putting Sandy in his place, but she did. He knew from that moment that she was a passionate, confrontational person who was not afraid of much.
Kirsten was making an effort to leave work by six every night to spend time with her family. Everything seemed to be going back to normal in her eyes as well. Besides the lack of sex in her life, her family was starting to stand back up on its own. She was grateful that her boys stopped worrying and started smiling around them again. She was happy that she and Sandy were able to joke and laugh about the smaller things in life. It had been a long time since she looked forward to coming home, but it felt like she was rushing to get out of work.
She also knew that Nicole was still in the picture, but was glad that Sandy was still making an effort. She felt bad that he was leading a double life, but she was too in her own way. She was still dating Carter - if you could call it that. They went on a few more dates, probably to ease Sandy's mind more than her own. She felt like she was forcing it, but knew she had to try something else.
Seth was okay with the fact that Carter was in her life. She knew it was because of his comic book connections, but she wasn't going to question it. She and Seth were almost back to normal. Ryan was just happy that she and Sandy were getting along. He knew that Kirsten was trying and that was all he could ask of her. It was more than his own mother ever did.
They were just finishing up dinner. Sandy came by earlier than usual to make use of the grill. The one thing he hated about apartment living was that he had no access to a barbeque. Kirsten did the grocery shopping, Sandy did the grilling, and the boys set the table. Just hearing all the playful banter in the house helped Sandy and Kirsten realize, bit by bit, that things were going to be okay. They were still ultimately a strong family.
Seth, as usual, monopolized the conversation. Chrismukah was approaching and he discussed the list of things he desperately needed this year to survive. Ryan never asked for anything, but made mention that he really wanted a new bike. Kirsten and Sandy stayed quiet, not knowing what the boundaries were for them surrounding this uber holiday.
Once they finished, Seth challenged Ryan to a duel of playstation. Since Kirsten and Sandy never just sat around the table by themselves, he decided to get up and start clearing the plates. She joined him at the kitchen sink and started rinsing the plates, wanting to bring up the holidays and what was going to happen.
"Seth seems excited as usual about Chrismukah."
"Did you think he wasn't going to be?" He replied, smiling.
She smiled back, both knowing that their son gets hyped up every year around this time. "I definitely think we need to get Ryan a new bike."
"Definitely." Sandy agreed. "That kid never asks for anything."
Kirsten wanted to just get it over with. "I know it is still two months away, but how are we going to handle it?"
"Handle what?"
"Are we going to still keep up our family traditions?"
"I don't think we should discontinue anything." He said, turning his body to face her.
"Are you going to sleep here on Christmas Eve?" She hesitantly asked.
"I hadn't really thought about it." He was silently trying to figure it all out in his head. "Well we normally open one gift each at midnight and since Seth gets up pretty early, I guess so."
"Do you want to sleep here?" She put the emphasis on the 'you' part. She moved her body closer to his.
He, in return, placed his hand on the lower part of her back. "Do you want me to sleep here?" Once again, he was asking her to express what she wanted. He constantly needed that reassurance.
"Not only on Christmas Eve." Those five words said it all to him.
He slipped his hands up her back, wanting her all over again. It must be the kitchen, because it was the one place they would secretly make out in before having to move things to the bedroom. He looked into her eyes and all he saw was truth and honesty. It was something he hadn't seen in a long time. He captured her lips with his own, and for the first time in a long while, kissed her slowly, gently, and full of passion.
She missed this kind of contact with Sandy. They had all types of passion, but this one was her favorite. It was the loving kind and it felt like an eternity since they connected this way. She didn't want it to end and wrapped her wrists around his neck, urging him to continue. She, again, wanted him to be in control. His tongue probed at her lips, begging her for entrance. She granted it with pleasure and their tongues dueled as the hands started to roam.
Sandy pulled back to see what her eyes her saying to him. She only saw his hardened desperation. He saw a questioning look on her face and took that as a signal to stop.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to stop." She explained. "I never want you to stop, but ..."
"It's okay. I shouldn't have..."
"I wanted you to, but the boys are in the pool house. You know their timing is always impeccable."
He smiled, knowing she was right.
She continued, wanting to make sure that Sandy knew she always wanted him. "I just think right now things are going really well with us. The boys are communicating with me and I finally think they are really trying to forgive what I did."
"They really are trying." He said as he still held her close.
"I know. That is why I don't want them to see us like this. It is only going to confuse them. It confuses me and I'm part of the equation. I don't want to cause any more turmoil in their life, since you and I have no idea what we are doing here."
He moved his hands away from her, knowing their moment had completely passed. "What do you mean?"
"Well for one thing, you seem to be at a standstill with those separation papers and..."
"So now you want me to sign them?" He interrupted, starting to feel his anger build.
"I'm not saying that Sandy. It's just that between the papers, the night of the comic launch, the kiss in the foyer and in the car and my office a few weeks back, wouldn't you say things are confusing?"
When he didn't answer, she continued. "Plus the fact that Nicole and Carter and force playing factors..."
"Carter?" He asked. "I didn't know he was still a factor."
"I would call him a factor."
"Then what would you call him?" Sandy was really mad now.
"It's really nothing. It's just a casual thing..."
Sandy didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to think about his wife with yet another man. "Was Jimmy not enough for you?" He seethed.
"What?" She was getting mad too.
"You heard me. Now that we are going through this and Jimmy is gone, you just have to turn to someone else?"
"What about Nicole?" She fired back. "What about the fact that you ..."
"Don't bring her into this. She has nothing to do with this."
"She has everything to do with it. Do you think it is easy for me to know that you are getting laid by someone else? Here's a newsflash Sandy. It's not. At least I'm not sleeping with Carter. When I said I was going to wait for you, I meant it."
"Who said I was sleeping with Nicole?" Sandy was astounded.
"No one knows your needs better than me Sandy. I'm not stupid."
"No, but you assume stupid things." He turned away from her, and started to walk away.
"Now you wonder why I don't want Seth to see us like that?" She was referring to the loving contact they shared moments before.
"Now, I'm not so confused anymore." He said before he turned around and walked away from her, yet again.
Kirsten tossed and turned the entire night, not even comprehending how just a loving, tender moment, turned into a possibly one of their worst fights. She thought about how their moment initially ended, bringing a slight smile to her face.
Ryan had just come to move in with them and although Seth warned him, he didn't believe that people Sandy and Kirsten's age still were so intimate with each other. Seth said the disadvantage to becoming a Cohen would be that he would have to watch them slobber all over each other.
Kirsten knew one day Seth would be their age and he would understand.
Ryan had been sleeping in the pool house for about a week now and Kirsten was trying to do everything in her power to make him feel as comfortable as possible. She took all the rafts and pool gear out, bought new linens and clothes and all new toiletries. She still wasn't satisfied. She felt that if he was now going to be part of their family, he should move into the main house.
She was up late one night waiting for the boys to come home from the Bait Shop. They were already late, but Kirsten knew if they were in any sort of trouble, Seth would call. She sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen, making a list of things that needed to be done to move Ryan out of the pool house.
She was deep in concentration, not even noticing Sandy come in, until he wrapped both his arms around her from behind. "God, you smell good." He whispered.
She smiled, loving the feel of her husband's embrace. "You feel good. What are you doing up?" She asked.
"The same as you. They're late, aren't they?"
"Yup, but this is all so new for Seth. Let him have some fun for a bit." She said, almost as if she was asking.
He looked over her shoulder to read her notepad. "What is that about?"
She spun around in the stool she was occupying and faced him, knowing this was a serious conversation. "I was thinking that we should move Ryan into one of the guest rooms. We can paint it, buy furniture, decorate, get a computer..."
Sandy stopped her before she went on and on about it. "As much as I know you love these sort of home projects, I'm not sure if that is such a good idea."
"Really?"
"Think about it. Ryan just got here. It is going to take some time to adjust without all of us in his face all the time. He will never get a moment of peace if Seth is right next door." He could tell she was disappointed, so he wanted to ease her mind. "I think it is a great idea and I really appreciate you embracing him and the idea of him into our family. Let's just give him some time."
Kirsten hadn't thought about it from Ryan's perspective. "Okay." She knew how excited Sandy was to give Ryan a new life, she was just trying to do the same.
"Did I tell you today that I love you?" He asked.
She leaned in and brushed her lips with his. "I don't think you did."
"Well I do, with every ounce of my being." She kissed her deeply this time, his arms locking under her thighs. He picked her up off the stool and spun her around so he could sit with her straddling him.
She was running her hands through his hair and he started working on the buttons of her shirt. "I love you too." She whispered. They were so caught up in each other that they didn't hear the car pull up the driveway or the front door open or close.
Kirsten's shirt was now hanging off her shoulders, revealing a little bit of her bra as she was undoing the last button of Sandy's shirt. She wanted to drive Sandy wild and there was only one thing she needed to do to make him moan. Since she was straddling him, she moved her body in a rocking motion rubbing her groin against his. He moaned loudly and went to pull Kirsten toward him for another deep kiss when they heard Seth.
Seth and Ryan were walking toward the kitchen to grab a snack before bed when Seth heard his father moan. He knew that could only mean one thing, which he tried to stop Ryan from seeing. He reached for his arm, but Ryan was too quick.
"Guys, come on. Ryan's coming in the kitchen." Seth called out trying to alert his parents and warn Ryan all at the same time.
Ryan turned the corner and caught a glimpse of what was going on. He saw Kirsten straddling Sandy revealing her black lace bra since her shirt was hanging open. Kirsten jumped off a Sandy quickly, landing on both feet, spinning around to face the wall while she buttoned her shirt back up. Ryan also saw Sandy for the first time with his shirt unbuttoned. He couldn't believe for an older guy, how toned Sandy was. He didn't meant to stare, but he had no idea those two behaved like that. Then he noticed the bulge in Sandy's pants and quickly looked away.
"Sorry." He mumbled.
"I tried to warm you dude. You have no idea how many years of therapy I am going to need for the amount of times I was in your shoes."
Once Kirsten straightened herself out, she turned around to face Ryan. "It's okay Ryan. We're sorry. We should have known better." Then she noticed Sandy still sitting there with his shirt unbuttoned. "Sandy!" She scolded.
"What?" He asked smiling innocently, loving how flustered Kirsten got over something so trivial.
She gave him a knowing look and he knew what that meant. "Okay guys. We're going to bed."
"Great, another image I could have done without." Seth said when he finally emerged.
Once Kirsten and Sandy exited, Ryan stared at Seth in disbelief. "Don't worry. You'll get used to them and their displays of affection.
The following night Sandy was in his apartment waiting to have dinner with Nicole. He thought about the fight he had with Kirsten. He knew that he might have overreacted, but he couldn't help it. He realized that no matter what went on between them, Jimmy would always be the driving force between them. It would always go back to him and what she did. He hated himself for thinking that way, but thought that his mind would always drift in that direction. He would never get over it.
As he sat at the table, he picked up the pen with shaking hands. He haphazardly flipped through the pages and found where the 'X' marked the spot. Another thought of Kirsten sleeping with Jimmy crossed his mind once again, making it easier to sign his name across the dotted line. He stared at the blue ink that contrasted the stark white pages, realizing this would be the only way to get over what happened.
Staring at his name, he thought that he could rip them up. He figured if he burned them, she would have to have them drawn up again. A knock at the door pulled Sandy away from such thoughts. He knew it was Nicole and took that as a sign that he was doing the right thing.
When he answered the door, he still was feeling anger toward Kirsten. He thought that signing the papers would make him feel this great sense of relief but, thirty seconds later, he only felt more weight.
"Hi." Nicole said stepping inside. It didn't take her long to figure out something was really bothering Sandy. "What's wrong?"
Instead of verbally answering her, he pulled her roughly to him and kissed her hard. Her lips were not making angry thoughts of Kirsten go away. His lips never left hers as he took her purse out of her hand and dropped it on the floor next to their feet.
He ushered Nicole backwards, his hands rubbing her back as he deepened the kiss. He just wanted to prove to himself that he was worthy to have someone else want him. He wanted to want someone else too. It didn't really matter who it was.
Nicole broke the kiss and started in his eyes. "What has gotten in to you?" She asked, flirting a bit.
"I just want you. I just want this to finally happen." He said, hoping she wanted to have sex too.
She answered him by pulling his face to hers and kissing him equally hard. She quickly pulled off his shirt as he started to rub her ass. "I guess we are skipping dinner." She said as she pulled off her own top, loving how hungry Sandy looked to have her. Finally, she thought to herself.
He didn't even want to look. He just wanted to feel. He wanted to keep his eyes shut tight, not caring to see the face of the other person. As his hands roamed her body, he blocked out that it felt different than Kirsten's. He let his groin make all the decisions.
Call it revenge, but once he came down from his euphoric high, he finally felt pleased with his actions. In only a matter of minutes, he slept with someone else after almost twenty five years of monotony. It felt good. It felt like he got Kirsten back. He felt like sleeping with Nicole would hurt Kirsten almost as much as she hurt him.
Sandy just stared into space, knowing that decisions based on revenge were never a good move. He felt shamelessly proud of himself, but knew that in a day or two, it would be replaced with self-pity.
"You okay?" Nicole said, when she noticed how quiet Sandy was.
"Yeah." He answered still thinking of Kirsten. He felt like the guy in college that slept with one woman while his mind drifted to others. He never did that with Kirsten. She was enough for him, mentally, emotionally and physically. Why wasn't he enough for her?
"Are you hungry?" Nicole tried again to break the silence. "We can still go to dinner."
"Yeah. Let me just get dressed."
As Nicole waited for Sandy to get ready, she noticed the papers again on the table. The only difference was that this time they were signed. She smiled to herself, feeling like she and Sandy were finally on the road to becoming more than what they are.
Two days later, Kirsten was in her office feeling sorry about the fight with Sandy, but feeling like she didn't do anything wrong. She hadn't seen him since then. The first night afterwards, she worked late, not making dinner. She called Seth and Ryan first to make sure they were okay with it. The second night Sandy had a dinner date with Nicole, but the boys seemed okay with that too. As long as one of them were there, their family life would be okay.
A male voice broke her out of her thoughts. "Delivery for Kirsten Cohen?"
"Thank you." She got up from behind her desk and to sign for the documents. She thought it was some sort of development contracts or building permits. Never in a million years did she think that Sandy would have not only signed the separation papers, but built up the courage to send them as well.
She thought about what might have prompted him to take such a an action. She realized that she pushed too hard. She used her own confusion to force him into making a decision. She knew when she drew up the papers that he might call her bluff. But now that they were here and the first step of ending her marriage was real, she was extremely sorry for her actions.
Another knock at the door caused her to look up. She couldn't hide the tears or the look of shock on her face. "Julie. Hi." She said sadly although plastered on her best fake smile. "Do you need something?"
"Well I need a lot of things, but first I need for you to tell me what's wrong."
She stood up abruptly, papers still in her hand. As walked out from behind her desk and toward the window, she slammed the papers back on the desk in front of Julie. "He signed."
Realization to what that meant, Julie didn't know what angle to approach this from. "I'm so sorry Kirsten."
"Yeah, well I should have seen this coming."
"It's going to be okay. You will get through this." She knew Kirsten really didn't want to hear the motivational speech. She needed sympathy and some sort of a plan.
"How?" She asked. "Julie! He was my whole life and now that he signed these stupid papers, I have nothing left."
"That's not true." Julie said sincerely. "You have Seth and Ryan and me." She thought about what to say next. "You can even have Carter if you want."
"No thanks." She stated.
"Why not? He is a nice guy who is hot and is very interested in you." When Kirsten didn't look convinced, she continued. "Did I mention he is hot?"
Kirsten smiled. "Thanks Julie, but going out with Carter the few times already did not help me forget Sandy. Why would it work now?"
"Because now you know where you and Sandy are headed. Now you can allow youself to move forward and accept new things."
"I don't know. I'm just not ready."
"Take it from me. You have no idea how ready you will be until you try. You can't stay in this place forever."
As if right on cue, Carter rounded the corner heading toward Kirsten's office.
"Just follow my lead." Julie said sneakily.
"What?" Kirsten didn't want Julie to say or do anything, but she knew it was too late.
"Morning ladies." Carter greeted. "Ready to go over the layout?"
"Actually now is not a good time for me." Julie started. "Maybe you can take Kirsten to dinner and go over it then." With that she exited and Kirsten could have died from embarrassment being left there to pick up the conversation.
"What was that about?" He asked.
"Julie is so bored with her love life, she feels the need to run mine." Kirsten said while rolling her eyes.
"Oh." Carter debated his next move and figured he didn't want to play games. "Kirsten, if you want to have dinner tonight, I would love to take you."
She smiled. "I don't know what I want." She meant it in the greater scheme of things.
"A girl's got to eat right?"
She laughed at him now. "Okay."
"Okay?" He asked, hoping she was agreeing to becoming a little bit more than what they were.
"Okay, but Carter I want to take things slow. I am not in the position where I can jump into things head first anymore. I have too much to lose."
"Let's just start with dinner and we'll see where it goes. I can do casual." He said nonchalantly.
A few nights after that dreadful day of receiving the papers, Kirsten wanted to have dinner with the boys, not caring if Sandy showed up or not. They would have to face each other sometime or another and she didn't want too much time to pass where the awkwardness would settle in.
When she arrived home a little bit later, all three men were already seated, enjoying dinner. Kirsten noticed Sandy visibly sink into his chair the second she showed up. She was hoping he would feel some sort of shame for handling things the way he did. One day he was confused about their marriage and after the confrontation, he magically figured it all out. They hadn't spoke since she received the papers and she could already tell he felt bad about it.
"Hey guys." She said while putting down her briefcase and taking off her suit jacket. "What did you guys order?" She said not making any eye contact with Sandy.
"The usual. Thai."
"Let me get you a plate." Sandy said immediately, getting up from the table and walking toward the cupboard.
"Thanks." She said surprised.
"Dad, that is so nice of you. Isn't that nice Mom?" Seth said, trying to make his parent's aware of the little things they do for each other.
"Yes Seth." Kirsten appeased. She changed the subject. "So I spoke with Carter last night and he said you got a meeting at Marvel. That's great news Seth."
"You didn't tell me that." Sandy said.
"I didn't want to make a big deal of it."
"I guess one has to be close to Carter to find out information about my son." Sandy snapped.
"Sandy!" Kirsten scolded. She didn't understand why he had make those sorts of comments.
"You know what? I'm just going to go." Sandy knew he was acting childish, but he was really mad. Mad at Seth for not including him. Mad at Carter for getting involved. Mad at Kirsten for tearing his family apart. Mad at himself for signing those papers and getting no reaction from Kirsten. He was just plain mad at the world.
As Sandy rose from his chair, Seth wanted to stop what was going on. "Dad, where are you going?"
When Sandy didn't answer, Seth's anger grew. "Just wait a second." Sandy stopped in his tracks, listening to his son's plea. "What is going on with you guys? For the past few months, everything was finally going back to normal. You guys were getting along and we were acting like family. What has happened that now all of a sudden you guys are glowering at each other?"
"I'm sorry Seth." Sandy apologized first, since he recognized he was at fault.
"No." He yelled back. "I don't want to hear your apologies. I want you both to tell me what happened."
"Don't raise your voice to your father." Kirsten scolded. She knew Seth was upset, but he had no right to disrespect Sandy.
"Seth, we told you before. Things between your mother and I are between just the two of us. Nothing has changed. We still love you both very much." Sandy said bring Ryan into the discussion.
"Yeah right." He said before he stormed up to his room.
Kirsten gave Sandy a death stare and would have combined it with harsh words but Ryan was still in the room.
"You know, you guys really need to work on hiding your feelings. A blind man can see you both are very upset with each other." He said before heading out to the pool house.
Once Ryan was out of earshot, Kirsten fired at him. "Why would you say that? Especially in front of Seth and Ryan?"
"Why does Carter know things about my son that I don't?"
"Don't make this about Carter. This is about the fact that you cannot control your jealousy."
"Don't tell me how to control my emotions. If you had any idea how to do that, you would never have fucked Jimmy."
"If it's not jealousy, then maybe it's guilt, huh?" When the hardened look in his eyes softened, she knew she struck a nerve. "Guilt that you caused by signing those papers."
"If you didn't want me to sign them, you should have never given them to me in the first place."
"Don't place the blame of that on me. I carry enough of my own guilt. I don't have room for yours. I never wanted you to sign them, but I wanted to give you an option."
"I'm done with this conversation. I don't need you accusing me of anything." He started to walk out of the kitchen.
"You don't need me to feel it. Guilt has a way of following you around."
A few moments after Sandy left, she felt the need to clear the air with Seth. She knew Ryan understood how complicated things were. Seth could never grasp such a concept. He wasn't equipped to deal with all the drama at home.
Things were finally progressing with Seth and she didn't want Sandy's comments to set back her relationship. When she climbed the stairs, she heard his music blaring from his room. He always blasted his ipod, not that she really minded. He was a teenager. She used to do the same thing. She remembered that was one thing she and Sandy used to argue about.
"He is going to go deaf in there." Sandy started.
"No, he's not. Why does it really bother you?"
"Because other people live here and he doesn't respect that fact."
"He's a teenager. The fact that he even acknowledges us is a plus." She defended. Sometimes she really didn't understand Sandy at all. "The house is big enough for all of us to live and respect each other's space."
"Oh yeah?" He challenged. "Then why does he always interrupt us when we do what we want?" He said as he pushed her back against the foyer wall.
They didn't hear Seth coming down the steps, once again catching them in the act of making out. "Guys, come on. Seriously!"
"See?" Sandy asked playfully.
As she approached the door, she smelled something odd, but yet familiar. She ignored it and knocked loudly on the door. "Seth!" She yelled above the music.
She heard the music shut off which was followed by alot of rustling around in the room. She just wanted to barge in, but she knew how much she hated when her father did that to her. She was always trying to hide things in her room. Then it hit her. The smell was from her past. It smelled like burning incense combined with pot. No, she thought immediately. Her baby didn't smoke pot.
"Seth!" She called again, becoming more anxious.
When he opened the door, her suspicions were confirmed. The jittery behavior, the glassy eyes and the dumb smirk were all tell tale signs. She really wasn't sure how to handle it, so she decided to play dumb. The one thing that she remembered about smoking pot was that it help you express you deepest feelings.
"I just wanted to make sure you're okay." She said as she studied his behavior. She noticed that he went over to his desk drawer to make sure it was closed all the way, before taking a seat on the chair that blocked that particular drawer.
"I'm okay." He said a little rushed.
"Seth!" She said knowing better.
"I just don't get it." He started to ramble, reminding her of the countless times Sandy used to ramble when he got stoned. "One day you guys are fine and the next you're not. I don't get how you can love each other so much one day and hate each other the next. It makes no sense." When she thought he was done, he just continued on. It reminded her of how unacceptable his behavior is right now, vowing to talk to Sandy about it. She didn't want to play bad cop right now. "I have tried to put myself in both you positions. Summer told me to do that, but I still don't understand what you did and I don't understand why Dad just can't get over it since he obviously still loves you."
"I know it is all confusing, but I really just want you to know one thing. I really appreciate that you are trying to work on forgiving me. I know I don't deserve that, but I love you for it. I just wanted you to know." She got up an left, not wanting to dwell on her son's drugged induced haze. She knew she had to talk to Sandy about it before she approached Seth by herself.
The next morning Sandy was in his office when Nicole showed up, coming from her morning surf.
"Do you work at all?" Sandy teased.
"Don't get mad at me that you chose the wrong profession." She teased back.
He made his way over to her and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. He still wasn't comfortable enough to engage in morning make out session with her. He wondered when he would get over that, but later realized that might have just been a thing between him and Kirsten.
"Well since I didn't see you last night, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight?"
Sandy knew he should, but he didn't want to ignore his sons. He knew they were upset with him walking out last night. "Can I give you an answer later?" He asked tentatively.
"Sure."
After a few minutes, much to Nicole's disappointment, Kirsten came to Sandy's office. The first thing Kirsten noticed was that Nicole was there. She wondered how much they really saw of each other. Was she now being played the fool? He was getting the best of both worlds. She didn't want to get herself all worked up over them, since the reason she was there was because of Seth.
"Hi. I'm sorry to interrupt." She really wasn't sorry.
"Really?" Nicole asked annoyed, feeling like all Kirsten did was interrupt.
Sandy shot Nicole a questioning look before turning back to Kirsten. "I'm surprised to see you here." He said referring back to the fight last night. He felt like all they did was fight these days.
"I actually need to talk to you about something." When Sandy didn't catch the drift that she didn't want Nicole to be involved, she clarified. "In private?"
Nicole was pissed. She considered her a part of Sandy's life, so whatever Kirsten had to say, she could discuss it in front of her. She took a seat on Sandy's couch, planning not to go anywhere.
When Sandy didn't make a move to dismiss Nicole, Kirsten continued. "It's about Seth and it's important." She felt like she was a begging fool.
Sandy recognized the serious and concerned look on her face. "Sure." He started walking towards the door. "I'll be right back." He said to Nicole.
"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."
Once they were outside Kirsten acknowledged Nicole's opinions. "I feel like as time goes on, she is hating me more and more." She took a seat on the steps that led to the beach.
Sandy sat beside her, but verbally get kept his distance. "I didn't come out here to talk about her. What's going on with Seth?"
She took a deep breath, wondering if Sandy was going to think she was jumping to conclusions. "I know you are going to think I'm crazy, especially since this is coming out of left field, but I think Seth is smoking pot."
Sandy gave her a look like she was absolutely insane. "No." He said in a disbelieving tone.
"I know. I was surprised too."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because after you left last night, I went upstairs to talk to him and the music was blaring and I smelled the incense. Plus it took him forever to answer the door and you should have seen his eyes. It looked like I was looking at you twenty five years ago." The corners of her mouth turned up, thinking about how they used to spend their time in Berkeley. "Plus, he rambled on and on and on." That was a clear give away.
Sandy pondered what she had said. "Well, what did you say to him?"
"Nothing. I played dumb, not wanting to fight with him. I wanted to discuss it with you first and figure out how we are going to approach this."
Sandy thought about what he wanted to do about it. "Well what do you think?" He asked her.
"I don't know. I feel like we are going to be world's biggest hypocrites if we scold him, but I don't want him to turn into a complete burnout who becomes too lazy to do anything constructive."
"Yeah." Sandy agreed. "Well I guess we have to talk to him as soon as possible."
"Okay. What are we going to say?"
"I think we have to make him aware of the fact that we know. Maybe lay a little bit of guilt on him and hope that if he continues this behavior, he will do it responsibly."
"I don't know Sandy." She wasn't sure she liked the idea of letting Seth off the hook that easily. "Maybe we should come down harder on him, like our parents did to us." She remembered back to when Caleb caught them smoking pot in her bedroom.
They had been dating for about a year and Kirsten brought Sandy to Newport on her birthday. Her parents wanted to celebrate her birthday in Newport and Kirsten stood firm on bringing Sandy with her. They had a typical Newport party, including the outdoor lights, wait staff, bartenders and of course live music.
Toward the end of the party, Kirsten led Sandy to the dance floor for one last dance. He held her close, wishing they would somehow be alone.
"So what happens after all these people leave?"
"Well that depends on you." She playfully teased.
"What do you mean?"
"Well did you bring anything from Berkeley?"
He knew what she was referring to, but went in a different direction. "No. I left all our sex toys in your dorm room."
"Very funny." She said sarcastically.
He brought his hand to hers and guided it to the right pocket of his suit jacket. "Do you mean that?"
Her fingers felt what she made out to be two joints. "Exactly what I meant."
"Well, I brought it, but I have no idea how we are going to pull that one off. Your father has not taken his eyes off of us."
"I have my ways." Kirsten was rarely the one to initiate smoking, but when she was home she always felt the need to relieve the stress her father was causing.
After the guests filtered out and her parents went to bed, Kirsten snuck out to the pool house. She and Sandy smoked only one of the two, but it was enough to do the both of them in. They both engaged in deep conversation always sharing their deepest thoughts. Sandy felt like he really got to know Kirsten when they were stoned. She had no inhibitions and wasn't afraid to speak about her feelings. Something that he knew was very difficult to do since she was raised by Caleb Nichol.
Suddenly there was a hard knock at the door. Kirsten immediately jumped off the bed and started to freak out. Sandy remained calm, taking the ashtray and placing it underneath the bed. He looked at Kirsten and whispered, "Relax. I'll get it."
When Sandy opened the door, his fear was confirmed. Kirsten stared at the floor, knowing she was in deep shit.
"Kiki! Go to bed. Now!" She raised his voice, indicating his level of anger.
"Goodnight" she said to Sandy before heading past Caleb and into the main house. She felt bad for leaving Sandy there with her father, but knew she didn't have a choice.
"You have somehow managed to situate yourself in my daughter's life. You may love her, but I will not tolerate this type of behavior in my own home."
"I'm sorry, sir." Sandy said, knowing they should have never smoked in the pool house.
"You're sorry you got caught. You have dragged my daughter down to your level and that I cannot accept. She is not a liberal, tree hugging, hippie you want her to be. She is my daughter and you will not corrupt her mind with drugs. Am I making myself clear? I better not catch you in this situation ever again."
Ever since that night, Caleb always called Sandy names that referred to his pot smoking habits. Little did he know that Kirsten didn't need influencing. Sandy didn't care though. He would keep her protected, always.
"Your father never stopped us from doing what we wanted." Sandy said, breaking her train of thought. "We are not going to stop Seth either. When there's a will, there's a way. You and I are smart enough and experienced enough to know that."
She knew he was right. "Okay. Are you free to talk to him tonight?"
Sandy thought about Nicole's invitation and knew he had to be there for his family. "Yeah. I'll come by after work."
Once Kirsten left, Sandy headed back into his office and knew Nicole was mad at him for something.
"So was it that important?" She asked.
Sandy just wanted to be truthful, without telling her all his family secrets. "Yeah. Kirsten needed my advice about something regarding Seth."
"She always needs something." Nicole stated bitterly.
Sandy was getting annoyed. "I don't feel that I have to defend my actions to you when it comes to my son."
She knew Sandy was right, but she wanted him to look at the bigger picture. "Do you really want to move on?"
"What?"
"Do you?"
"Yes, I told you that countless times."
"How do you expect to do that if she keeps showing up? If she keeps invading parts of your life?"
"She'll always be a part of my life, Nicole. If you can't understand that..."
"I understand." She said, not really on board with him.
"Good! I can't have dinner tonight because I have to go home and have a talk with my son."
"Okay." She said accepting defeat. She wondered if she would ever not feel like the consolation prize. "I just wish you would stop defending her actions and accept them for what they are worth." With that, she slammed his office door behind her.
That evening, Kirsten and Sandy arrived at their house at the same time. Sandy saw her struggling with her briefcase and blueprints as she got out of her car.
"Here, let me help you."
"Thanks." She smiled gratefully.
"You ready for this?" He asked.
"Not really. I feel so old, thinking about it all."
"It all will be fine." She opened the front door and Sandy followed her in, making their way toward the kitchen.
"Seth Ezekiel!" Sandy called. "We need to talk to you."
"Thanks for the prep time." She said as she placed everything on the kitchen island. She wasn't expecting to talk to him right this second.
When they got no answer, Kirsten realized that he might not be home. Then she saw a note on the table from Seth telling her that he went out with Summer for the evening.
"Well this was pointless." She said to Sandy.
"Not necessarily." He made his way out of the kitchen and toward the steps.
"Sandy, you can't." She knew he was headed to his room. It was the only thing up those steps that was occupied.
"Why not? Isn't this one of our parental rights?"
"I don't know. I feel like we are invading his privacy."
"That's what happens when you live under your parents roof!"
Once they entered the room, Kirsten watched Sandy start to rummage, while she stay in the doorway.
"You're going to make me the bad guy?" He asked.
"I feel bad going through his stuff." She said.
As he opened the top drawer to his desk, he pulled out a bag full of weed with already rolled joints inside as well. "Still feel bad?" He asked as he held up the bag.
"So I was right?" She said. She took the bag in her hands, opened it and smelled the contents. It was strong. Stronger than what she remembered.
Sandy did the same and then felt the need to make a joke. "At least he is smoking the good stuff."
"You're just a regular comedian today."
She took another whiff, brining back a slew of memories. As if their mind was on the same thing, they both started talking at once.
"Do you remember...?"
"Remember the time..."
They both stopped and laughed. Sandy shut the drawer and put the bag in his pocket. He started heading for the door when she stopped him.
"You're just going to take it?"
"Do you think I am going to leave it?"
"I guess not."
Sandy had a twinkle in his eye when he spoke. "Just think how freaked out he will get when he realizes his stash is gone? He will have a million scenarios running through his mind. Hopefully my favorite one of him wondering if he left it somewhere around the house or wondering if we found it. We will have him bugging out in no time."
"You're so mean!" She said.
"Come on. This is a little bit fun. It's nice to be on this side of the fence." He thought back to what was going to be said in Seth's room. "What were you going to say before?" He asked.
She thought about it and answered honestly. "Do you remember all those times we would smoke and just talk about our feelings, our hopes and our dreams? We had our whole lives ahead of us with not a worry in the world." They made their way down the steps, stopping in the foyer. She didn't know if he was planning on staying, now that Seth wasn't home. "What were you going to say?"
"I was going to say something similar." He smiled, knowing their would never be a time when they weren't on the same page. "You used to speak with such passion and no inhibitions. I saw the real you when we were stone. It made me realize how much I loved you."
"So you needed drugs to love me?" She joked.
"No. I just needed them to knock down your walls." She smiled, starting to think a very dangerous thought.
As if she was reading his mind, she dared to voice it. "What are you thinking about?"
He tapped a hand on the pocket were the bag rested. "This." He said almost scared of her reaction.
"Are you serious?" She asked, not believing the idea was crossing her mind as well.
"Why not? When else would we be in such a situation?"
"I dare you."
"You don't have to dare me. I dare you." He fired back.
"Lead the way." She challenged.
He started walking in the direction of their bedroom with Kirsten in tow.
He took a seat at the table by the glass doors, pulling the bag out. "I wonder how much this costs."
"Apparently we are giving Seth too much allowance money." She watched Sandy handle the joint with such expertise. "I can't believe we are about to do this."
He got up to look for matches and he smiled. "What are we going to talk about?" He asked.
"I don't remember ever having a pre-determined topic to be spoken."
"I doubt we would stay on course anyway." A thought of how they would always end up not talking and having wild sex instead. It always felt so good stoned. He didn't think that was in the cards tonight though.
He made his way back to the table and rested his elbows as he lit the joint. He took a puff and immediately started to cough.
"Maybe I should open a window." She said, wanting to keep fresh air in the room.
He handed her the joint and she took a light puff. She didn't want to inhale too much smoke, afraid she was going to choke. Once she passed it back to him, she already started to feel a little light headed. Sandy took another big hit, holding it in and blowing it out his nose.
"Some things don't change." She remembered him doing that exact same thing on her couch in her apartment.
Sandy was feeling great and he knew Kirsten's inhibitions were settling in. Once they were half way done, Kirsten held the joint out for Sandy to take. He held up his right hand, stopping her from passing it. "I think I'm good. God, my tolerance is pathetic."
She laughed out loud. "You know, you always use to do this to me. You would let me figure out what to do with it. You're so lazy."
"And you fall for it every time."
He laughed, but got up anyway to help her. He knew they didn't have an ashtray in their bedroom, but didn't dare want to venture outside the bedroom. He took the joint from her and their fingers brushed against one another, casing a tingle in both their bodies. He went to the bathroom and ran water over it, knowing they were done with it.
Kirsten's mind was racing and when Sandy came back, she started firing her questions. "So what do you like so much about Nicole?"
"Excuse me?"
"Tell me. I can handle it." She was being sincere.
He took a seat on the bed and rested his back on some pillows against the headboard. "I don't know. She's nice and she doesn't ask much from me. Although lately she is starting to drive me a little nuts."
"Really?" Kirsten couldn't help but be happy to hear that. She sat back in her chair, knowing her husband was about to start rambling.
"Yeah. She was so nonchalant, making everything so easy, but lately she has been a little bit more needy. I can't handle that."
"Well she certainly isn't a fan of me." Kirsten stated, laughing again.
"No, but can you blame her? Being compared to the perfect Kirsten can not be easy."
"Perfect?" She asked.
"Well not all the time." He said sadly. "I don't want to think about that."
"Let's do a role reversal and see how you would have handled it."
"You're nuts!" He said laughing at her enthusiasm.
She started laughing again, border lining uncontrollable. "I'm trying to be serious here. If you were the one to cheat..."
"I would never have done that to you."
"It's hypothetical Sandy! What if Rebecca came back? What if she threw herself at you and you knew I would have never found out about it? What if you did cheat on me? Would you ever have the courage to tell me?"
For the first time, Sandy saw the situation through Kirsten's eyes. For the first time, he realized how hard it must have been for her to come clean with him. She couldn't help but tell the truth. "I don't know."
She smiled at his answer. "Good. I'm glad you don't know."
"There's a statement you don't hear often." He said laughing at her this time.
"You're going to confuse me with your words, aren't you?" Sometimes he talked in circles and her mind would drift and she would lose track of where he was going.
"Well, let me be more clear. Where do you think this whole thing is going to end up?" He asked.
She didn't know if she was in the right frame of mind to hide what she truly felt. "Honestly?" She asked. When he nodded she continued. "I think you and I are going to end up together."
"Wow." He said laughing at her. "That's a pretty bold assumption."
"You and I belong together. We do. I know you still love me. Seth told me so."
"He did?"
"We have something that cannot be suppressed or taken lightly. It's just a matter of you forgiving me, which I think you can and trusting me which I think you will eventually work on. So yes. I think in the end, we are going to pull through this." She started to feel thirsty after her rant "What do you think is going to happen?"
"I think your theory is a definite possibility." He said smiling, loving how open they could be in this state.
"I know it is going to take time and like I said, I'm never going to give up my hopes and dreams."
"I can't give you a timeline. I've got to work on this whole Nicole thing." He wanted to tell her what happened between them, but didn't know if she could handle it.
"What whole thing?" She asked, not seeming mad that he was bringing her up again.
Then he dropped the bombshell. "I slept with her Kirsten."
"You did?" Suddenly, Kirsten felt that her mind was brought right back down to earth.
Sandy still was feeling the effects of the weed and decided to fully explain himself. "I felt like it had to be done. I felt like I had to get you back for the countless times you slept with Jimmy. I felt like I was scoring some points in this stupid game we are playing."
Sandy saw the tears in Kirsten's eyes and immediately apologized. "You don't owe me an apology. I figured it was bound to happen."
He sat up on the bed, drawing her eyes to his with a serious look. "I guess the joke was on me though."
"What do you mean?" She asked curiously.
"I mean it was..." He tried to think of how to explain it to Kirsten, but couldn't formulate the words. He wanted to tell her he thought of her the entire time. He wanted to tell her that he wished it was her the entire time. Uneventful, bland, dull, were the words coming to his mind. "Boring?" He finished. "I don't know how to explain it. It's just, with us, it's always ..." He was afraid to continue.
"I know." She said, hoping he believed it to be the truth.
At that moment Sandy's stomach growled and they both laughed. Kirsten broke the tension. "You know what's great about this situation? We have an entire fridge filled with food downstairs."
"Remember how we used to make grilled cheeses in the toaster oven because we never had butter." He reminisced.
"Or macaroni and cheese with water because the milk was always spoiled." She added.
They were both laughing when Sandy asked, "So what are you going to get us to eat?"
"Why do I have to go?"
"Because I'm not supposed to be here and you're sitting closer to the door." He had a point.
"Fine." She lost the battle. She got up from the table and headed for the door. "For the record, being with you has never been boring. It's always invigorating, special and orgasmic." He felt his dick twinge a little bit, loving when Kirsten talked like that. She continued. "I know I don't have a lot of experience, but you never cease to amaze me." He smiled, hoping that was the truth. "I'm sorry if I ever done anything for you to question yourself in that area." She knew she was rambling. "So what do you want to eat?"
"Surprise me."
When she made her way down to the kitchen, she saw Ryan sitting at the island. She bit her lip, holding herself back from laughing. There was nothing funny about this situation. "Hey Ryan." She tried to sound nonchalant.
"Hey."
As she started loading her arms up with bottled water, ice-cream, a spoon, cookies and chips, he questioned her actions. "Hungry?"
"Starving." She replied a little too quickly. Then she thought about the fact that maybe Ryan was waiting for them to all have dinner. Before she got the chance to ask, he interrupted her thoughts.
"Is Sandy here?"
"No." She covered. "Why would you think that?"
"Because his car is in the driveway."
Shit.
Car.
Driveway.
I didn't think of that.
"He was here, but Nicole picked him up to go out. I guess he needed clothes or something." She lied.
Ryan didn't know what was going on, but figured it was weird that Nicole would come to the house.
Kirsten knew he wasn't buying it and changed the subject. "Do you want to order something for dinner? I can trash the snacks."
"I'm actually meeting Marissa at the diner." He suddenly felt bad leaving her alone. "Do you want to come?"
She laughed. "That's okay sweetie. Thanks for the offer. It's sweet." Truthfully she didn't know what she would have done if he said yes.
She left the kitchen and headed back to the bedroom with the intentions of killing Sandy for making her venture out alone. When she came back into the room, Sandy immediately sat up and anticipated the splurging they were about to do.
"What took you so long? I felt like you were gone for a year."
She smiled, knowing he always grew impatient. "Well I ran into Ryan down there."
"See, it's a good thing I didn't come with you. We would have caught the giggles." He thought about how many times they couldn't control their laughter when they were like this.
"Yeah well he asked if you were here."
"Why would he think that?"
"Because your car is in the driveway."
"Oh yeah. I didn't think of that."
"Yeah. Me either."
She took a seat across from him on the bed, folding her legs indian style. She went for the ice cream while he went for the cookies. As she scooped a spoonful of vanilla on her spoon, she moaned at how good it tasted against her mouth. "This is so good, you have to try some." She scooped some more and held the spoon out to him. He leaned in, his eyes locking with hers, as he tasted the sweet cream.
"Oooh. That is good." He said. "Let's switch." He handed her the cookies and took over the gallon of ice cream. Kirsten just watched him, not believing he was in their bed right now. She never thought she would see the day.
When he noticed her staring at him and not eating the cookie, he asked, "Do you want some more of this?"
She nodded and was pleased when he held out the spoon for her. She leaned in closer to the ice cream, closer to him. She slowly wrapped her lips around the cool metal, hoping this was a sign that things were leading somewhere. Sandy dipped the spoon back into the gallon and took another spoonful into his mouth before placing the carton on the floor. When he faced her again, he cupped her face and kissed her ever so slowly. She opened her mouth immediately, sending him the message that she wanted more. That she needed more. He slid his tongue along with some ice cream into her mouth and she pulled back, surprised.
"You're always full of surprises Sandy."
He brought his face close to hers again and whispered. "Did you really mean what you said before?"
Her mind was racing, wondering exactly what he was talking about. With his face this close, he could only mean what she said to him about their sex life. "Always." She said as she smiled sweetly.
He smiled as he leaned in for a deeper kiss. She returned his kiss feeling her stomach do flip flops. Why she slept with Jimmy all those times to give up this was something she would never reason out in her head.
He broke the kiss and stared back into her eyes, searching for answers that he only knew in his head. "I want you so bad."
"I always want you." She said back.
For the first time since this whole thing happened, she took the lead. She pushed him backwards onto the bed. She pushed her tongue as deep as it would allow her, wanting him so badly. She pulled back from his body and sat upright, straddling his torso. She pulled her top off, revealing her black lace bra.
"I love when you get wild."
She smiled at his comment, and leaned back toward his lips. Before kissing him, she whispered to him, holding his gaze. "You and only you know this side of me. You make me feel this sexy to act this way. This is all for you and you only." She felt the need to remind him of that.
She sucked on his bottom lip, loving the sound of Sandy's moan. She rubbed her groin against his, enjoying the pleasant friction. He felt himself growing hard between his legs, not wanting to stop. As much as he loved her in this capacity, he wanted to take control. Ever since he found out about Kirsten's infidelity, he felt like he needed to prove himself sexually to her.
He pulled her roughly and rolled her over so he was on top of her. He quickly pulled off his shirt and returned his lips to hers. He wanted her so badly and the fact that they were back in their bed only served to turn him on even more. His lips moved slowly down her chest as her played with the button on his jeans. Then he hit that spot on her neck that drove her wild. She moaned loudly, enjoying this more than he could ever imagine.
"Shh." Sandy whispered, knowing full well how loud she could get.
"You know all my spots."
Her hands slipped inside his pants and past his boxers, rubbing his shft, loving how good he felt.
"And you know all mine." He playfully retorted.
He managed to push his pants off and started working on hers. With her tiny frame, he easily lifted her off the bed and she was left in nothing but her undergarments. He knew not many women had the same figure from their twenties and he loved that she cared about her appearance so much.
His hands worked their magic on her thighs and his fingers were searching for more. He dipped his hand underneath the elastic of her panty and slid his fingers against her folds. He loved how wet she was. He didn't want to wait anymore, knowing how much she loved the feeling. He dipped two fingers into her.
"Oh god, that feels so good." She screamed.
"Sshh, Ryan might still be home." He reminded her, but his fingers didn't relent.
"I don't give a shit."
The speed of her hands quickened, wanting him share in her pleasure. He closed his eyes and Kirsten knew that he was feeling the blood rush to his groin. He loved her touch. She roughly tugged at his boxers wanting him inside as soon as possible. He rested his tip at her entrance, not moving forward. He wanted her to want him He wanted her to wait for him.
"Don't play games Sandy." She said desperately.
He entered her with his tip and withdrew, wanting her to become frustrated with him.
"You've got to be kidding." She exasperated.
He laughed lightly and plunged fully into her. She moaned really loud this time, not having a care who heard her. With every pump, a moan escaped her lips. He held himself back, her needs always put before his own. Her hands moved to his shoulders and she tightened her grip, signaling to him that she was going to come. She called his name, loving how her voice cracked.
Within seconds, he buried his head in her shoulder and grunted. He tried to keep his rhythm steady, but she knew this was something he always struggled at.
Once they both came down from their euphoric high, he rolled off of her and onto his side of the bed. "God, that was..."
"I know. I told you." She said referring to what she said before.
He just stared at the ceiling for a few moments, wanting to turn on his side and hold her. He wasn't sure if that would be okay. He wasn't sure if that was acceptable. Kirsten, on the other hand knew what she wanted. "Are you leaving right away?" She asked.
"Umm..."
"You don't have to. Stay for a few minutes."
"Okay." He said. Kirsten quickly got under the covers, her naked body feeling a chill. Sandy slipped under them as well and held her from behind. "I really miss this."
"I miss it too." She thought about the events of the evening and started to laugh.
"What's so funny?"
"I feel like I'm twenty years old. Don't you?"
" A little. Although I'm exhausted right now and when we were twenty, we used to do that about three more times."
"Yeah. I guess you're right."
She reveled in the feel of his touch, knowing it wasn't going to last long.
The next thing Kirsten knew was that sunlight was hitting her face and the phone was ringing. Her first thought was what time was it? Her second thought was who would be calling this early. She heard him groan next to her. Her third thought was that Sandy had spent the night.
"Sandy! We fell asleep. You have to get up!" She said while shoving him. "The boys are bound to be up by now." She finished waking Sandy and grabbed the phone.
"Hello?"
"Good morning Kirsten. Is my son awake?"
Sandy started getting dressed, but stopped when he heard Kirsten start to panic. "It's your mother!"
He took the phone and Kirsten listened to the one-sided conversation. "Ma! Hi. No you didn't wake us. We do have jobs..." He rolled his eyes at Kirsten. "You are? When? No, no. You are welcome any time."
Kirsten kept listening, realizing that Sophie had no idea what has been going on in their household. Sandy probably never told her what she did because it would only fuel the fire she started against Kirsten years ago.
"Okay. I'll talk to you soon." Once he hung up the phone, he turned to Kirsten. "What a way to start a morning off." He joked.
"What's going on?"
"Do you really want to know? My mother is coming to visit this weekend." He wasn't sure how to tell her what that exactly meant. "She's coming to visit us, as a family."
Before she got to respond there was a knock at their bedroom door. "Mom. Are you up? Are you decent?" It was Seth.
Sandy could see the frightened look on her face. The last person she wanted to make aware of what happened last night was the one at her door. "Hold on Seth."
"I'll go into the bathroom." Sandy said. "Shove my shoes under the bed. Relax." He instructed.
Once she answered the door, Seth started in on her. "Are you not feeling well? It's really late and Ryan heard you moaning last night." Before she answered, Seth continued. "Ryan and I need a ride to school unless you think it's okay to take Dad's car. It's still here."
"No. I'm sure your father needs his car at some point today. Let me get dressed and I will be right down."
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
After she assured him that she was fine, she opened the bathroom door and watched Sandy as he finished buttoning his shirt. "I have to run. It's already eight o'clock and I still have to go home and shower."
"Okay." She thought about what to say next, but figured to enter a safe territory. "We still have to talk to Seth and figure out what we are going to do about your mother coming."
"Things have really changed. When we were twenty, things were never this complicated."
"Things haven't changed that much." She replied. "You're still sneaking out of my room in the morning." She smiled, knowing she made a good point.
He knew it was a bold move, but he couldn't help it. He quickly cupped her face and kissed her square on the lips. "I had a great time last night, but I really have to go." He grabbed his suit jacket and headed toward the glass doors of their bedroom that led to the backyard. He walked the perimeter of the house before making it to his car safely. He couldn't believe he was doing this.
The day went by quickly for Kirsten, since she spent most of it daydreaming. She thought it might be the after effects of the pot, but knew it was because she slept in Sandy's arms. It had been almost nine months and it never felt better.
Sandy felt as if his day was dragging. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep. He spent the majority of the night, holding on to Kirsten wondering if this is what he wanted. He really didn't oversleep, intending to stay more than just a few minutes.
Once his day ended, he thought about calling Kirsten, but felt a little weird about it. He figured he could use Seth and his mother as an excuse, but was afraid. Not of her, but of himself. He just missed her, even though they had only parted that morning.
When he arrived at his apartment, he dropped down onto his couch, closing his eyes. There was a knock at his door, but he didn't have the energy to answer it. "Come in." He yelled, knowing he left it unlocked.
He didn't expect to see Nicole there, looking rather angry and wanting answers.
"I waited for you last night, but you never came home."
"I'm sorry." He finally found the energy to get up and greet her.
"It's bad enough that she is always there, but..."
"Excuse me?" Sandy was appalled. Was she talking about his Kirsten?
"She always has a way of interrupting us. We were supposed to have dinner last night and you chose her over me."
"I chose my son over you." He corrected. He knew that wasn't true after his night with Kirsten, but Nicole didn't have to know that at the moment.
"Can't you see what she is doing? She is using your son to pull you back into her web."
He laughed at her insanity. "I highly doubt Kirsten is that devious."
Nicole arched her eyebrow, giving him a knowing look. "She cheated on you for twenty years. You don't think that is devious?" She asked.
Sandy's face took on a serious glare. It was one thing for him to voice his opinions, but when Nicole did it, it struck a nerve. "You really don't know what you are talking about."
"Tell me you want to be with me and not her. Tell me that what happened between us was more than just sex. Tell me that you signing those separation papers meant that you were ready to move on. Tell me!" She yelled.
Sandy truly felt sorry for everything he did, but he couldn't explain it to her and expect that she would understand. "I can't." He whispered.
"That's what I thought." She said bitterly.
"I'm sorry. I really was trying. You're a great person Nicole and a good friend, but as hard as I'm trying to leave my old life behind, it's clearly not working. He said sadly. "I will always love Kirsten, no matter what she has done to me. It's not dependent, it's unconditional."
She could feel the tears forming and wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. "She is going to hurt you again and I'm not going to be here to listen and comfort. I hope you know that."
"I think it's a chance I am going to have to take."
With that, she stormed out and Sandy finally felt some sense of relief. He finally made a decision, but wasn't actually sure how to handle what was to come.
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As usual, make me happy! Please?