Disclaimer - I don't own Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy, The Mighty Boosh or any characters involved. Copyright to Noel Fielding/Julian Barratt.
Should I even bother trying to stick to a schedule anymore? I don't think it's working... I only have one more week at uni, I might be able to keep the updates regular over the holiday. Anyway, Noel is getting very frustrated now. And that makes for a good story
Chapter 20
Back home, Noel lay on his back in the middle of his bedroom, staring at the paper he held above his head, and the Plan Pony stared back at him, silent and unmoving.
Rudi must have given it to him for some reason, right? It had to mean something. Of course it meant something. Unless he had only seen it as returning Vince's drawing to him…? No, Rudi was a psychedelic monk. He was also spouting some sort of mystical nonsense, that was the whole point of the character. He was supposed to pass on great wisdom, even if he wasn't always so good at it.
So shouldn't the Plan Pony be telling him what to do? That was the point of this character, wasn't it?
"Oh, this doesn't make any sense…" he muttered, dropping the paper on the floor beside him, "This isn't going to work."
But then, Vince has asked the Plan Pony to help him. He didn't just expect it to know what he wanted or what the problem was. Noel picked up the paper again, turning himself over and kneeling on the floor.
"Plan Pony, what's happening to the island?"
The drawing shifted a bit, the mouth opening just enough to let out a small whinny.
"Come on, what should I do?"
"You have to go home, Vince!"
Its voice was strangely rough. Clearly, it hadn't spoken in a long time.
"What?" Noel frowned, "I'm already home."
The drawing shook its head.
"You need to retrace your steps and go back home. This ain't your home, Vince. You got lost."
He didn't realise he was answering to that name again until the last minute. He was still letting this happen, letting himself fall back into an old character. Ignoring the Plan Pony's braying, he crumpled up the drawing and threw it off into a corner. He stood and left the room without another thought, not hearing the weakened voice muffled by the creased paper.
"Follow the fox."
He let the door slam shut behind him as he hurried out. His head was buzzing with thoughts and memories and questions, and he was desperate to clear it all away.
Avoiding anyone else, whether they were from Painted Hawaii or not, Noel searched for somewhere quiet to think. Somewhere isolated. He kept well away from the zoo and the cabin.
But, for a moment, he forgot the possibility of something else appearing where it shouldn't be. He soon came to a signpost that, although he'd never seen it on the island before, he knew full well what was coming next.
WELCOME TO BLACK LAKE
Shit.
He started running. To the pub first – The King Prawn's Head – but there was no-one there. He was starting to sense a pattern. The whole place seemed pretty much abandoned, just like the Zooniverse and Kodiac Jack's cabin.
Outside again, Noel stood at the water's edge. The sun had set by now and the whole scene looked just as he remembered it. As Vince remembered it. The lake seemed like nothing but a reflection of the night sky, like the stars had fallen to the ground. It was calm, still, peaceful.
He stood there for a while, and soon the atmosphere changed. A light fog rolled along the surface of the lake, rising and spreading, engulfing him, and he heard disturbance in the water. The fog blocked his vision and when something broke the surface and pulled itself onto the shore, he jumped back in fright.
Then the fog cleared, and Noel suddenly felt a bit self-conscious. He should have seen it coming, really.
"I'm Old Gregg!"
"Yeah, I noticed."
Gregg was grinning madly as he gestured towards the lake.
"It's Gregg's place. Gregg's home. My home is here now," he said excitedly, creeping closer to Noel, who only moved away from the still sopping-wet man-fish, "Look, I can bring Howard back here," Noel flinched at the name, "An-and we can live together, all nice 'n' cosy, and I'll learn how to love him right, just like you said."
"… Will you?"
Gregg nodded, his wide grin becoming a shy smile.
"I will. We'll be happy together. An' I'll listen to him, even when he says something Old Gregg don't like. We're gonna be happy."
"Gregg…" Noel paused. This was a delicate situation. Gregg could be unpredictable, "… That's not exactly what I meant when I said to listen to him, alright?"
Gregg's smile dropped.
"Then what did ya mean?"
"I mean… Maybe he won't want to live here."
"Why not?"
"Well," he pressed a hand to his head, "Maybe he, err, found someone else…?"
"Someone else?" Gregg came a little closer, a violent glint in his eye making Noel stutter.
"I-I'm not saying there is someone else, y'know, just, like, if there were someone else, an' he was happy with them and n-not… you… well, then, you'd want him to be happy, yeah? So you'd let him stay with them. Wouldn't you?" his voice cracked slightly with fear.
"You're sayin' my Howard might not want me no more?"
"Might not, yeah."
Gregg seemed to shrink back at the thought. He looked down for a few seconds, making Noel worry.
"… Alright. But he better still come to see Ol' Gregg, even if he did find somebody else, 'cause Gregg still loves him. I wanna see him."
Noel let out the breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding.
"That's good. That's good, Gregg."
"I'll be good. I'll be good to Howard."