"You can't expect me to just up and leave with you. You were the one that abandoned me, remember?" AJ looked at her mother after listening to her request that she came home for private help they had paid for.
"There really is no arguing in it April, you're sick, unwell… you need your family around you and you need good, professional help." AJ's mother, Fiona said.
"I have someone to take care of me. When I get out of here… we-we have our life planned ahead, once I get better… You aren't taking me away, not from him." AJ stood her ground.
"Oh, April. He's already left." Fiona rolled her eyes, "Me and Erica came to find you and take you home, we got an address from some cafe you worked at not long ago, we drove up and the windows were broke in, the door was open, no car was there, no clothes were in the house… whoever it was that you think loves you, he most likely doesn't." Fiona said.
"I don't believe you." AJ said, "Phil wouldn't leave. I know him." AJ said.
"Well he has, and that's that. You know what men are like, you in particular, they use you and as soon as they stop getting what they want, they move onto the next girl. It's what they do best." Fiona said.
"But he loves me." AJ sighed, looking down at the ground, "He wouldn't just leave." She shook her head, looking around the room for answers, slowly starting to believe her mother, she had no reason to lie.
"He has. He was just bad for you, April." Fiona frowned, drying her daughters tears, "C'mon, don't cry now, you're going to come home with me and Erica, we're going to spoil you, get you the best care, you'll be feeling better in no time." Fiona smiled as AJ just nodded. If Punk was gone, what was the point in staying here?
"When are we leaving?" AJ asked without any emotion, all the life being sucked from her, feeling like she had been stabbed in the heart, so hurt that Punk had just left, without even bothering to let her know.
"Tomorrow morning. Our flight leaves at noon. I'll be round early though to collect you, get you out of those ugly clothes." Fiona shook her head, "April, I think you could be doing with a haircut too, it's all long and untidy." Fiona shook her head in disapproval, getting her jacket on.
"He liked my hair long…" She whispered to herself, sitting still on the couch, staring into space, mental images of him passing by her, not believing that he had just left, she was sure he loved her, positive in fact.
"I'll see you in the morning, sweetie. This is all for the best, I promise you're going to get better." Fiona stroked her daughter's cheek, walking off down the corridor, leaving AJ sitting still without moving, not knowing what to do, feeling lost, without his love, she was nothing.
Later on…
She felt so sad, so upset, so hurt, she didn't think there was a reason for her breaths to be taking anymore, if he couldn't love her, who would? Did he play her along? Did he just say he loved her to make her feel better about herself, she was so confused and hurt and all she could think about was taking all the pain away.
She stood in the girls bathroom, a few sinks lined up to one another with cubicles behind them, her razor was in her shaking hand, tears filling up her eyes as she looked into the mirror, only seeing an ugly reflection stare back.
She pressed the blade on her wrist, making no movement yet, just sitting it there, tears dropping down onto the floor as she silently cried, thinking about all the good times they had shared, never so much as thinking that he was playing her, he couldn't have been, he was so sincere and genuine, she could feel it, he was real, he loved her… she was so confused.
"What are you doing?" A masculine voice came from behind her.
"Jesus…" AJ turned around and dropped her razor, wondering why a man was in the girls toilets, "Can't you read the door?" AJ asked with pity upon him, looking into his insane blue eyes, his crazy blonde hair sitting on his head like a wet mop.
"Yeah. I can." The man nodded, "I seen you go in, crying… anything to prevent a suicide attempt." He smiled to himself, putting his hands in his jean pockets.
"Well, I wasn't trying to commit suicide. I was just…"
"Easing the pain?" The man asked her, "I'm a patient here, you don't have to pretend. I get it." He nodded, "I'm Dean, Dean Ambrose." He extended his hand as she gave him her smaller one, shaking it as he leaned against the wall.
"I'm April." AJ said, kneeling down and picking up her razor again.
"Nice to meet you, April." Dean smiled, "What's the cutting for?" He asked.
"Have you ever… thought someone loved you, listened to them speak the words to you and find out that… they never did?" AJ asked him, not really knowing him that well, but finding a comfort in him.
"Sure." Dean nodded, "Many times." He said.
"How'd you deal with it?" AJ asked curiously.
"I wouldn't. I'd avoid it until everything built up and suddenly I'm standing on top of a roof building." He smiled, "Take it from me, don't avoid it." He said.
"I'm leaving tomorrow with my mom and sister, they say they're going to take care of me but… I was sure he was going to do that." She sighed, "I'm sorry, you don't care about this." She chuckled.
"I do. I like listening to people's depressing stories, makes me feel less depressed." He smiled, "If it's your mom and sister, you're bound to feel safe with them regardless, maybe you should go with them." He shrugged.
"I don't think I have a choice." She looked up at him, "I better go, I have to pack my things. I would have really liked to get to know you… but I leave tomorrow." She frowned.
"It's alright. Got plenty of other depressed friends here. Good luck with everything on the outside." He smiled as she did, about to walk past him when he stopped her, taking the razor from her hand and smiling down to her, "I think I should keep this." He told her.
AJ just smiled and walked by him and out of the toilets, heading to her room to pack her things up. While she was packing, she remembered her session with Sandra earlier on, remembering her telling her that music was a good way to release any depression, so she switched the radio on, turning it on quietly and listened to it as she packed her things away, surprised at how much it was calming her down.
She then made a trip to go see Sandra, in hunt to take something with her that rightfully belonged to the hospital.
"April, is everything ok?" Sandra asked in her office.
"Could I have my tape? The first day we recorded." AJ asked.
"Of course, let me search for it." Sandra said.
AJ watched as she looked in drawers and cupboards, finally coming across the tape, handing it to her as she held it tightly in her hand.
The next morning…
AJ was taken early in the morning to her awaiting mother and sister. Having not seen her sister, she gave her a big hug. They hated each other 90 percent of the time, but there was always that 10 percent. She was slowly starting to get attached to the idea of going home, thinking about being around people she loved and trusted completely, not some phony, liar that never cared about her.
Her mother had bought her new clothes to wear which were not her style of course, some sort of tight dress and cardigan. She missed being with him, wearing his clothes and having no one care, wearing her sweat pants, feeling him undress them from her. She couldn't ever get him out of her mind.
"You look beautiful, princess." Fiona smiled, kissing her daughter on the head, very much a stylish woman in her own way, caring more about the name of clothing brands than the price.
"You'd never guess you're a psychopath." Erica nudged her sister with a smile as they walked out of the hospital.
AJ just smiled, not really knowing what to say, how to say anything.
The sun hit her face again, the last time she left was forever in her mind, him beside her, driving them away to their small home in the woods where they had the most amazing months ever.
A cab was called for them and all AJ could do was stare out of the window as the car drove down the highway, looking at the birds in the sky, the clouds passing by with the car. If he didn't love her, then what was the point? All her fantasies of them being together one day when she was better, getting married, having children, well they were all just exactly that… fantasies.
A few hours Later…
Punk couldn't keep himself still all day, he debated and spoke to himself, completely lost on what to do. She was leaving today, if she decided to go through with it. He didn't want her finding out about the woman he had slept with, they never meant anything but he knew how she felt about cheaters, she'd be devastated, but he couldn't just sit back and let her go, he was the one that needed to care of her, not her sister and mom.
He couldn't risk it. He jumped in his car and drove straight to the hospital, his cuts still fresh from last night, his eyes never being more crazy than now.
He barely let the car stop in the car space before he got out and ran through the hospital doors, crashing into the reception.
"April Mendez? Is she here? April is she here?" Punk asked quickly, slowly but surely feeling his mind spin round, not knowing what he would do if he was too late.
"Sir, slow down…" The receptionist said.
Punk just walked off, not having time to wait. He ran up to the mental institution, running through the corridors, coming into the lounge where he met April, where all the patients were out having their two hours of free time, some old patients and some new.
"April?!" Punk shouted as he walked around them all, turning girls around viciously that had the same colour of hair as her.
In the corner, Dean watched curiously, his finger tapping against his knee as he sat quietly to himself, watching this man look for the girl he spoke to last night in the bathrooms.
"April. Someone tell me where she is!" Punk shouted, scaring a few vulnerable patients in the lounge.
He watched as two men in white coats walked through the door, grabbing him at either side of his arms, his only instinct was to elbow one of them and turn round to punch the other, causing quite the scene, no one still telling him where his girl, his love of his life was.
"She's gone, man." Dean spoke up from the corner as the place fell silent, "She left this morning with her family." Dean said.
Punk took a deep breath, feeling like he was going to be sick, feeling empty and alone. He was too late, she was really gone, she was probably thinking right now about how much of a jerk he was for leaving, when he was here, he was always going to be here for her.
He felt the two men in white coats grab him again, he yelled and he shouted, but he just couldn't escape their grip this time, they dragged him down the corridor, out of sight from the other patients, yet they still all could hear his yelling and screaming for April.
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