Edward and I sat in silence in Charlie's living room, the both of us lost in our own thoughts.
I can't deny the relief I felt when I heard that Edward broke things off with Irina, but a small, rational part of my brain was still niggling me to ask him why he never contacted me.
It wasn't like we ended on bad terms back in New York, maybe sad but it wasn't bad at all.
It hurt when he didn't call in the last six months, maybe even more so than when he didn't in the past three years.
Because this time, we have talked, and came to a conclusion that we wanted each other in our lives. In any way possible.
"Why?" I whispered lowly, but I'm sure Edward heard me because he turned to look in my direction. "Why didn't you ever call, Edward?"
He took a deep breath and remained silent. I looked over to his face and saw that he seemed to be contemplating his words. I waited patiently, my heart thumping in my chest wildly.
This anticipation is maddening.
Just before I opened my mouth to pry Edward for answers, he spoke quietly.
"I didn't call after I broke things off with Irina because I wanted to make sure." He said, "I wanted to make sure that I made the right choice for us. I mean, I knew that breaking up with Irina was the right thing. She was good, and I loved her once, but it wasn't something that I think would last for a very long time."
Like a lifelong commitment, I thought.
I sat quietly, absorbing his words. I waited for Edward to continue, wanting to get the explanation I think I deserved.
"She was a good distraction," He continued, "Irina and I met the year after you left Forks. She was new in town and didn't know anyone. It was a coincidence that she was also working on the hospital. We got to know each other, and just sort of fell into a relationship."
I nodded mutely, urging Edward to continue.
"When I proposed to her," Edward started and I winced, not wanting the reminder that he wanted to commit to somebody else for the rest of his life, he just looked at me and threw me an apologetic smile.
"I thought I loved her then. I knew that I loved her, but it wasn't enough. I think even Irina knew that it wasn't." he breathed.
"You loved her," I stated quietly, feeling the tears prick at my eyes.
"Yes," he whispered gently.
I looked down to my lap, my vision blurring slightly.
"Our relationship was good, although she knew that I was holding myself back. Irina didn't know about you until after Emmett and Rosie's wedding."
My head snapped up at that, my eyes searching his.
"Why?" I breathed out, the calm thinly masked.
"Because then she'd know," Edward whispered, "she'd know why I was holding back."
I tried to gulp down the tightness in my throat to no avail. So instead, I silently stood up and went to the kitchen.
I rest my arms on the countertops, willing myself to take deep breaths. My head was pounding, maybe from what Edward said or maybe just because, and my knee hurt like a bitch.
I slowly gathered myself, and headed for the fridge. I took out to water bottles and gulped down one.
I felt the cold liquid slide through my throat and shivered. I stood silently for a few seconds, organizing my thoughts and preparing myself for whatever else Edward has to say.
I walked back to the living room and saw that Edward was still on the couch, almost on the exact same position I left him in.
I silently handed him the water bottle and he smiled at me in gratitude.
I stared as he unscrewed the lid and took a gulp, his throat constricting. I find myself watching his Adam's apple bob up and down, feeling my lips twitch as I wanted to kiss it.
I was broken out of my thoughts when Edward cleared his throat, and I was horrified from the smirk playing on his lips.
He saw me watching him.
I almost want to hit myself, especially when Edward chuckled lightly. I glared at him, and it only made him laugh.
I huffed out and moved to sit on the chair opposite him when he reached out and gently grabbed my arm.
"I'm sorry," Edward whispered, "please don't move away from me,"
I relented and sat down again but refrained to look at his face.
"Can I continue now?" Edward asked, his breath washing over me. I turned to look at him and almost jumped when I saw how close he was.
I moved to swat at him but he just grabbed my hand and held it in his.
Edward held onto mine tightly, and I observed how his large hand engulfed mine entirely. I relaxed my hand and wrapped it around his fingers. I looked up to Edward and saw him smiling softly at me.
I squeezed his hand, and felt the warm tingling in my heart.
Oh, how we fit perfectly, Edward.
"Irina and I were engaged for just two months when I saw you again," he started, "I planned to go on with the engagement, but once I saw you, I wavered."
"We found comfort in each other, you know. She has just gotten out of a serious relationship when we first met. At first, I hesitated. It wasn't like I was looking for a relationship when I met Irina. But as time passed, I learned to love her." Edward continued, his hand tightened its hold on mine and I firmly held it.
"When I told her about you, she wasn't mad. Maybe irritated, but not mad. She said that she knew all along that there's still someone else. I tried to explain to her, but she just brushed me off." He said, and I sat beside him, quietly pondering why she seemed mad at me.
"When I called and she answered," I began, "she seemed mad."
"When was that?" Edward asked, his brow furrowing as he seemed to jog his memory.
"A few days after you left New York," I said.
"Oh," Edward breathed out, "I just broke up with her, then." He explained.
"What did you tell her?" I asked, genuinely curious as to why I got that kind of response from Irina.
"I told her that I'm breaking up with her because I'm not sure anymore. She threw a fit, called me names and threw some things at my head." Edward said, chuckling at the memory, "I think I deserved it."
I didn't respond, instead I just looked at him.
"Irina asked if I went to New York and saw you, I said yes. I didn't see any reason to lie to her face." He stopped talking, as if thinking if he should continue, "she asked me if I slept with you, and when I said no, she went hysterical and called me a liar."
I gasped at that, I can't believe that she'd think I would sleep with an engaged man.
"I asked her to calm down, but she didn't. So I went to go have a shower, and thinking that if I gave her some space she would. And I think that's about the same time you called." He explained and I nodded, finally understanding why she seemed to be so irritated with me.
"Anyway," Edward started, "she started calling me for a while, and I can't do anything about it. I didn't want to be rude to her, I mean, after all, we did date for a while. And finally, she just stopped and I heard that she got back together with her ex-boyfriend."
"He's her baby's father?" I asked, still feeling a little baffled about Irina's sudden pregnancy.
"I assume that he is," Edward said.
I was nervous about asking, but I wanted to make sure that Edward isn't the baby's father.
"Are you sure?" I hedged, the nervousness apparent in my voice.
"Yes, Irina told me herself." He answered confidently.
I breathed a little easier, thankful that this issue was put to rest.
I mean, it's not like I won't accept this child, if Edward and I got back together, but I just can't help but feel a little jealous that he and Irina has a bond that can't be broken if he turned out to be the baby's father.
"So after that, everything calmed a little and I had time to think. I thought about calling you as soon as possible, but I restrained myself. I thought that I should give you some time too. Especially after how we've left things between us." Edward said, "I wanted you to be sure, I wanted you to have some break from me, before I start hounding you."
I dipped my head, coming in with terms how Edward wanted me to have a break from him.
Haven't I had enough of that?
"But just as I was about to call you, things started to get crazy again. The hospital board asked me to meet them, and after our meeting, I found myself being promoted. The pediatric specialist retired, and they asked me to fill in his shoes." He explained, "I haven't had time to myself since then. I wanted to call you, but I was waiting for my life to settle down a bit before I contacted you."
"Okay," I said quietly, my mind still reeling from the information Edward unloaded on me.
I was about to say more, but the flash of headlights from the driveway halted me. Before we had time to react, the front door flew open and Charlie appeared on the doorway, his face a mask of confusion.
His eyes roamed all over the room, as if checking for something amiss before they landed on us.
His eyes scrutinized our faces before landing on our joined hands. His mustache quirked slightly, before he muttered something under his breath.
"Bella," Charlie said, his eyes looking intently at mine. I blushed slightly and tried to nod my head at him.
He smirked at me before looking over to Edward's equally stunned face.
"And Edward,"
AN: Hi, thank you for reading! See you next chapter J