The thought of running did cross his mind when he was pumping the water to wash the grim off his feet. He was very tired of running and hiding. Especially from her. He sat there for some time before scrubbing his feet clean. He liked walking but hated how dirty the city was. Removing his leg guards he walked back into his room in a pair of linen pants and a linen shirt.
He stopped when he saw her curled up in his chair by her chin propped up on her hand. Why did this have to be do hard? Why was he do afraid? He padded up to her silently. He shook her gently to wake her.
"Theresa?" he couldn't keep the uneasiness out of his voice.
"Fenris?" she smiled when she saw him "...you came back."
He chuckled nervously, "I never left. I was sitting in the next room. I thought about it though."
"I'm glad you didn't. I can't see well at night and would probably get lost trying to catch you."
It was his turn to smile faintly. Taking her hand he pulled her out of the chair and led her to bed. Laying down with her he wrapped his arms around her. He just wanted to hold her. For a long time they were both very quiet. She cried but it was relief not pain, he kept her close until she quieted.
"Can you forgive me?" he asked softly.
"I would not be here if I did not forgive you." She kissed the lyrium on his throat flooding him with love and forgiveness so he could feel it too "As long as you promise never to leave me again."
"I promise." He whispered kissing her forehead.
"Oh, I have something for you." Pulling away from him she crawled over the bed and reaching into her back she pulled out a wrapped package.
"A gift?" he asked taking the offered package "I don't..."
"Just take it. When I found it I thought of you." She settled next to him on the bed again.
Opening the package and taking out the gift. He looked at it confused and a little distressed.
"It's..it's a book?" he asked looking at her.
"Of course it's a book. It's about Shartan. The elf that helped Andraste free the slaves." She watched his face "Do you not like it?"
"It's not that." He said sounding nervous, he set the book down on the bed "It's just...slaves aren't permitted to read. I never learned how."
" I can teach you."She caressed his cheek. There was no pity in her voice, it was just loving.
He looked away from her. He felt ashamed for it, like less of a person. She turned his face to hers. "Fenris. In Lothering there were many people who didn't know how to read. It's very common among the poor. Don't be ashamed of an accident of your birth. Look forward. I don't think any less of you. It is something that we can do together."
He chuckled "Next you'll be teaching me the Chant of Light and trying to get me into the Chantry like Sebastian. "
"I would not turn away your company when I go to the Chantry." She replied "But I would not seek to impose my beliefs on you."
"Why do you quote the Chant when you cast spells?" he asked suddenly vary curious about her faith.
"My magic is a gift from the Maker. The Chant is his word. I serve the Maker by using my magic to help mankind. I seek to show my submission to the Maker by recounting the Chant of Light. " she looked out the window "I hope my prayers reach his ears and that he sees that there are mages that seek to help and not harm."
"You are the strongest mage I have ever met." He told her "The strongest person really. I am a very lucky man."
"Damn right you are." She laughed when she answered rolling over to face him, she was only teasing but she saw distress in his face still "what's wrong?"
Taking her hands he looked down at them. "Anders told me I nearly made you Tranquil. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Oh, dear Maker." She had hoped this would never come up "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to make an all ready tense situation worse. It didn't matter anymore. We both came out alive."
"It does matter, Theresa." He said "I had never thought that you could ever be Tranquil. When I think about it now, it terrifies me and the thought that I could have done it to you is equally horrifying. I can't allow fate to happen to you. I would die first." Fenris met her gaze.
"Then we just have to make sure that doesn't happen." She replied trying to lighten the mood "come on, " she squeezed his arm "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
He sighed. Relaxing he was ready to go to sleep. "Will you stay tonight?" he asked drowsy.
"Yes." She yawned.
Getting comfortable they both soon fell asleep. It had a been a tiring day for them both. They were grateful for the rest.
He hummed with delight when he woke and she was still in his arms. He felt the sun warming the sheets, it was going to be another warm day. He heard noise from Hightown. Hightown isn't up this early. He frowned what is today? He wondered What month is it? ...it's almost Summerday. Oh a parade. Damned revelers. It's her birthday soon.
"Morning." She said kissing his nose before stretching.
He grunted at her. Which only made her laugh. When she tried to rise he hooked his arm around her and pulled her underneath him.
"hey." She called "Fenris I-"
He silenced her with a kiss. It had been months since he'd kissed her, felt her... He ran his hand along her thigh, reveling in her smooth skin.
"Yes?" he asked.
"Will you be all right?" she asked caressing his cheek.
"If you are here with me, yes." He answered kissing her again "I am no longer afraid." He meant it, with her here he had no reason to fear they would work through this.
He made love to her for the second time. It wasn't as distressing as the first time. He was frightened, although a little saddened when the memories faded. He didn't focus on the flood of images, voices and people. Instead he focused on her, the way she felt and connecting with her. If he remembered something it was an added benefit.
"Can I take this off now?" she asked again.
She's been riding for hours with her eyes blindfolded, he was insistent that she keep it on until they reach their destination.
"No." his voice full of mirth "We are almost there."
It was another hour before they stopped and she heard him dismount. She felt his hands on her waist when he helped her down.
"A little longer." He whispered taking her hand, he led her up a path. She could hear water falling and could smell grass and wildflowers. She felt him reach around and untie the blindfold pulling it from her face.
After her eyes adjusted to the light she looked around. They were standing in a field of knee high grass and wildflowers. Beside them was a fast running stream with a five feet waterfall that poured into a still pool before lazily emptying out into the lower stream heading to the coast. A short distance away were their horse grazing under the shade of a copse of trees.
"Fenris. It's lovely. How did you find this place?" she asked utterly awestruck.
"I found it on our way into the Deep Roads. I thought we could spend a few days out here away from the city. Celebrate your birthday, just the two of us." He was fidgeting with a wrapped package in his hands.
"Oh, thank you Fenris. I could not have thought of a better present. It's so nice to be out away from the city." Spinning around she flopped on her back in the grass, staring up at the sky and the lazy clouds floating by "It's like this in my dreams."
"Really?" he asked, slipping the small package in his pocket "how so?"
"hmmm." She hummed "it's warm and I'm laying in a field just like this, near a stream with the clouds floating by. I can hear the song of the Maker playing all around me, but only if I'm very quiet and listen.
"I'm going to unpack the horses."
"I'm going to lay here a little while." She said listening to the wind blowing through the grass.
Why am I so nervous? Just give it to her. Tell her what you want. How is that so hard? He remembered how hard it was for Aveline to tell that guardsmen how she felt. He was afraid. Afraid she'd reject him even though he knew she wouldn't. it was fear and it was inescapable. But he did not have someone to push him into telling her, this he would have to do on this own.
She heard him sit down next to her. Go on, coward! Just give it to her! Taking out the package he pressed it into her hands. Then he sat back to watch her.
"What's this?" she asked inspecting the package.
"Ahem...open it." He bade her after clearing his throat.
She smiled at him "You didn't have to get me anything."
He watched her with great interest. She opened it slowly, taking her time. Pulling out the small box and she looked at him before opening it. He gave her a small, albeit nervous smile. Looking inside she saw a pair of simple silver bands, they were engraved with intricate designs that started on the flattened edge of one and meandered onto the other and back. He almost took it away from her in panic and his heart neatly stopped when she smiled.
"These are...they are beautiful." Setting the box in her lap "But what does this mean?" she asked afraid to assume anything.
He cleared his throat. Why was this so hard? Suddenly he understood Aveline's plight. He took a deep breath then chuckled. "I don't know why this is so hard."
"What is so hard?"
"Why it's so hard to tell you that I can't imagine life without you. How I want to spend every waking moment with you and that even though I don't have much to give that I will stand by you for the rest of my life. " he blurted it out in one long breath so that he couldn't lose his nerve and stop half-way through.
He felt her hand on his cheek. He couldn't help but lean into it. She was smiling at him. "I could not have imagined a better way for someone to tell me that he wanted to marry me. Not since I was a young woman dreaming of faerie tales. " she wiped an unbidden tear from her eye and took a deep breath "I don't know what else to say."
"You don't need to." He felt like he was going to faint from relief.
Taking one of the rings he slipped it over her finger. He tried to stop his hands from shaking but his nerves were shot. She kissed his hands.
"Relax. That hard part is over. I already accepted." She winked at him then put the other ring on his hand. "Forever mine."
He laughed. He felt a little dizzy all of a sudden and was very glad that he was outside. She was right the hard part was over. It felt right and different. To have something he cherished so much. Something to protect, something worth fighting and dying for. Kissing her he lay back down on the grass with her.
"Mother will be pleased. She likes you."
"Does she?" he asked curiously.
"She does. She wants me to be happy. I am most happy when I am with you." She told him.
"I suppose I should get my act together and stop living in a borrowed mansion."
"Come live with me and mother. " she offered "We have plenty of room in that large house. If you desire space a room can be made up for you. "
"If I am to come live with you then I would be staying with you." He answered kissing her head, he was rather surprised how easily he made that decision. He didn't even have to think about it. "After four years I am ready for move on." He said echoing his own thoughts.
Ignoring her protests he rolled over on top of her. It aroused him to feel her pressed into him. Feeling her breath and her breasts push against him. He kissed her neck and collar bone. Unfastening her robes he pushed the fabric off of her shoulders. The cool air caused goose bumps to rise on her skin, shivering she pulled his shirt off over his head.
He would never tire of feeling her skin against his. The way the lyrium in his skin reacted to her touch, it was unlike anything he ever experienced. Her gasps, moans and sighs only encouraged him. He reveled in the ecstasy of release. The sudden wave of euphoria that flooded them both and the cooling breeze on their skin.
He could not have asked for a better day in all his life. Leaning down he whispered into her ear. "I love you."