March 23, 1979

Amanda smiled in satisfaction at having a successful day. Busy, but successful. She'd completed all the errands she had set out to when leaving the house this morning. She had begun the day out by taking the boys to their respective schools and dropping her mother off at her morning garden club meeting, purchasing supplies for Phillip's upcoming sixth birthday party at the party supply store, visited her local gardening outlet for in preparation for the spring planting in the flower garden, and then there had been one errand that her husband didn't know was on her agenda because she'd wanted to surprise him with it. She'd followed that by picking Jamie up from preschool and he'd excitedly shared a drawing with her that he'd done for Joe. In the afternoon, she'd then picked her mother up from her garden club. She'd also completed Phillip's spring parent-teacher conference while her mother looked after the boys on the school's playground. She'd been pleased to hear that he was doing well and was a social butterfly who'd made lots of new friends and seemed not to have any child in his class that he didn't get along with. Finally she'd completed grocery shopping for the house and dropped Phillip off at soccer practice, smiling all the way.

Her smile turned into a frown though when she finally pulled her station wagon into her driveway after a long day surprised to find her husband's sedan already there. "Hmm..." she murmured wondering what was up.

"Daddy's home!" Jamie cried excitedly when he saw his father's familiar car.

Dotty's response was not as welcoming. "What's Joe doing home this early in the day?" Probably packing for another trip, she added mentally with a shake of her head. "And this has been such a lovely day too."

"Now, Mother, don't get that look," Amanda scolded as if sensing her mother's thoughts. "I know what you're thinking, but we don't know what's going on. There could be a perfectly logical explanation for why he's home from work so early." She parked the car and removed her seatbelt.

Dotty turned to look her daughter in the eye, and stated pointedly, "Oh, I can just guess what that perfectly logical explanation is."

"Mother, can you just help me get carry these things in?" she snapped impatiently as she got out of the car and helped Jamie out of his car seat. When she set him on his feet, she said to him, "Why don't you go inside and see Daddy, okay?" She walked around to the back of the wagon, opened the lift gate, and began unloading items.

"Amanda, don't think I don't know what you're doing," Dotty challenged her daughter.

"I'm unloading the car, Mother," Amanda replied tersely.

"You're avoiding going in because you know he's leaving again and you know you're going to fight about it again." She reached to help Amanda with her unloading.

"I don't know what you mean. Just because he's home early that doesn't mean he's leaving again. He can't..." she blinked back the tears that had started to form, but she just knew instinctively that her mother was absolutely right. "He promised."

"Huh!" Dotty snorted. "As if his promises are worth anything..." She took her armload of bags and huffed toward the house. She loved her daughter, but she could clearly see that when it came to her husband, Amanda had blinders on.

"Mother, don't say..." Amanda began, but it was too late. "...that." She let out a sigh and carried her own armload of bags toward the house just in time to see her mother exiting it again. "There should be just one more load left."

"Well, your husband should be helping with these things, especially with you..." Dotty shook her head, let out a sigh and said sadly, "I suppose it doesn't matter." She made a beeline for the car as Amanda entered the house.

When Amanda walked in, a lump formed in her throat as her worst fears were confirmed. A familiar suitcase sat in the hall. She once again blinked back the tears and carried on toward the kitchen to begin putting away her purchases. She concentrated on putting the perishables into the refrigerator and freezer as needed first, then was just moving onto the boxed goods when her mother entered the room with two more bags.

"What are you doing?" Dotty questioned.

Amanda shrugged. "I'm putting things away. We can't just leave them sitting here."

"I can do that," Dotty offered.

"There's no need, Mother," Amanda responded in a breezier tone that she felt, not even stopping in her task to look at her mother. "I'm perfectly capable of doing things by myself." She had to be now that she knew for sure that Joe was leaving again.

"Aren't you even going to talk to him about it?"

Finally, Amanda stopped and gripped the island countertop for support as she tried to get her emotions in check. "What would be the point? All that will happen is that we'll fight again and he'll leave anyway."

Dotty walked around to meet her daughter and put an arm around her to console her. "How do you know if you don't try?" She gave Amanda a pointed look. "Give him a good reason to stay." Off her daughter's look, she added, "And, yes, I figured it out, Amanda."

Amanda nodded. "You're right. Can't hurt to try." She looked around at what was still left to be done. "Are you sure you're okay with finishing this up?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Now, go...talk to your husband."

Amanda hurried up the stairs to find Joe sitting on the bed with Jamie, another suitcase that was half-packed lay open on the end of the bed.

Joe looked up when her heard her approach and with a smile, held up a hand-drawn picture. "Honey, did you see what Jamie drew for me today? Isn't it great?"

She smiled at Jamie. "Why, that's a beautiful drawing, Sweetheart." She kissed the top of her younger son's head. "Why don't you take it downstairs and have Grandma put it on the fridge for you?"

"Okay, Mommy," Jamie gushed eagerly as he bounded down from the bed and hurried out the door.

When she was sure Jamie was out of earshot, she closed the door and commented to Joe in a warning tone, "You know, one of these days, that's all you're going to have of the boys...drawings and photographs. They're growing up so fast that one day, you won't even know your own children." She lightly ran her hand across her flat stomach, thinking forlornly of the future, her mother's words, 'give him a reason to stay,' echoing through her head.

"Child," he corrected brusquely as he stood up. "I have one child, remember?"

"Not this again..." Amanda moaned in disbelief as she sank wearily onto the bed. She looked up at him mournfully and in a soft voice reminded him, "You promised..."

"Look, before you start in, it's just a short trip this time. Only two weeks."

"Two weeks. That means you'll miss Phillip's birthday party next week." A thought occurred to her in that moment. She waved a hand toward his suitcase. "That's what this is about, isn't it? You're going so you can miss his party."

"Amanda, how can you suggest that? You know I love Phillip as if he were my own, even though he's not."

"Well, you're the only father he knows. Do you think he doesn't notice when you go away? Or that you've missed every single birthday party that he's old enough to remember? It seems like...well, it almost seems like you're doing it on purpose."

"Of course, I'm not doing it on purpose!" Joe snapped in irritation. "Besides, this is an emergency situation, otherwise I wouldn't be going at all!"

"Look, there's no need to yell or get upset, but we need to talk about this," Amanda urged him. She could tell by his tone that he was bitter about the promise he'd made to her six months before.

"I'm sorry. You're right. It's just..." He sighed. "It's just when you came in here, you seemed like you were rearing up for a fight and I don't want that."

"I don't wanna fight either, but Joe, Sweetheart, we can't keep doing this." Give him a reason to stay, she thought again, but she couldn't do it. If he wanted to go, she wasn't going to try to keep him home that way. After all, it was only two weeks. Her surprise would keep for another two weeks, so instead, she shook her head and asked, "When is your flight?" She was too tired to ask or even care where he was going. It just didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that he was leaving again and didn't seem to care about her feelings in the matter.

"7:30," he answered.

"Do you need a lift to the airport?"

He shook his head. "No, someone's picking me up."

"Okay then. Since you're leaving tonight, I guess I won't bother with dinner. We'll just go and watch Phillip's soccer practice and get some takeout on the way home." She stood and forced herself not to cry as she said, "Have a safe trip," before hurriedly exiting the room.

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Lee rolled his eyes as the meeting droned on and on. Would Billy ever stop talking? What did the budgetary committee really have to do with him? Wasn't that what administrative guys like Billy were for anyway? Just when he thought he'd die of boredom, Billy finally wrapped it up with, "So, watch your expense reports, People! You're going to be watched very closely. That's all."

"Finally," Lee muttered under his breath.

Never had a finance meeting run so long and he was glad it was done, but just as he was about to rise from his seat, Billy barked, "Stetson, Dalton, you two stay."

"Great!" Lee groaned.

"Watch the attitude, Scarecrow!" Billy warned. much to the other agent's amusement. "Lee, you've met Andy Dalton from our New York field office, right?"

"Yeah, we've met a couple of times." Lee shrugged noncommittally.

"Not just met," Dalton replied. "You helped me take down that smuggling ring that was trying to smuggle guns in through New York Harbor."

"And I've read the case report on that," Billy interjected. "The way it reads, you two worked pretty well together."

"That was a one-time deal, Billy," Lee argued. He was sure he knew where this was going. His boss was going to give him yet another tiresome lecture about the hazards of being a loner and extol the virtues of having a partner to watch your back. "Just out of necessity."

"Well, not anymore. Dalton here's just been transferred to DC. Congratulations, Lee, you've got a new partner."

Lee finally rose from his seat and looked down at his boss. "No, no, no. This is not happening. I don't work with partners. You know, I don't play well with others."

Dalton himself stood and looked Lee in the eye. "So, what you're saying is you don't want me around your playground?"

Lee looked him up and down. He hadn't remembered the guy being so big...he was built like a linebacker. Still, he wasn't going to be intimidated by him, no matter what his size. "Billy, you can't do this to me."

"I can and I have, effective immediately," Billy insisted. "Dr. Smyth's orders. No field agent is to work without a partner, period. It's too dangerous."

"I do just fine on my own," Lee pouted.

"Fine, huh? Then how about you explain how you got out of the catacombs in Istanbul, 'just fine on your own.'" Billy countered smugly. "Or let's talk about that case you worked a couple of years ago with that DEA agent...what was her name...Sanders...?"

"Saunders..." Lee corrected. "And I got out of that just fine too."

"But not on your own. You even had to have some civilian help on that one if I'm not mistaken." Lee shot Billy a murderous look for bringing up Amanda. "Maybe you'd like me to tell that story to Dalton here."

"Those files are classified." He gave Billy a look that said, 'you wouldn't dare!'

"I have clearance. In fact, since that case we worked in New York last winter, I've got a higher security clearance than you do."

"Okay, okay. Fine, fine, fine," Lee finally conceded. "But DC is my town. I call the shots until you get to know your way around."

"Fine by me," Dalton shrugged. "Partner." He grinned as he reached out to shake Lee's hand.

"Okay..." Lee replied as he grudgingly returned the other man's handshake. "...Partner."

"Good, now that that's settled. Andy, Lee will show you where your new desk is." As the two younger men started to leave the room, they were stopped one more time by Billy's voice. "And Lee..."

"Yeah?"

"Behave yourself."

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Amanda returned to the house that night after soccer practice and dinner were complete, including a stop to the boys' favorite ice cream parlor, she couldn't help noticing the scathing looks she'd been getting from Dotty all night.

After she'd wrestled her two boys in the house and ushered them upstairs, she confronted her on it. "Say it, Mother."

"Say what, Darling," Dotty questioned obtusely.

"Whatever it is you've wanted to say all night that you haven't said because the boys were around," Amanda answered in a curt tone.

"I have absolutely nothing to say, Amanda."

"Fine. If you want to play it that way, that's fine by me. I have to go give the boys their baths and get them into bed anyway." She hurried up the stairs to get away from the all-too-knowing looks from her mother.

As she tucked her children into bed and was saying goodnight to them, a wave of sadness swept over her when Phillip asked, "Does Daddy still love us?"

"Of course, he does, Sweetheart. He loves you and me and your brother very much. Why would you ask such a thing?" She knew the answer. Just like she'd said to Joe earlier, the boys were getting old enough to start to really notice his absences.

"Is he coming home for my birthday party?"

Tears stung her eyes again, as she answered, "No, Sweetheart, I'm sorry, but he has to work."

"I hate work," Phillip grumbled.

"Oh, come on, now, you know that grownups have to work. Where do you think the money came from that I just spent for your party next week?"

"But you don't work," her son argued.

"Oh, I work plenty," Amanda explained. "But my work is here, taking care of you and your brother and your grandma...keeping this house nice, tending to the garden."

"That is a lot of work, huh?"

"Yes, Sweetheart, it is, but you know what? It's time to go sleep now. We can talk some more in the morning, okay?"

Phillip nodded. "Okay."

She kissed him goodnight and as she moved to do the same with Jamie, she found herself extremely grateful that he wasn't yet old enough to ask the questions that Phillip had, questions she was no longer sure if she could answer honestly.

She trudged down the stairs as she thought about the events of the day. They'd begun on such a bright note, now everything had gone to hell...again.

"I made some hot chocolate," Dotty told her cheerily when she entered the room. "Would you like some?"

"I would love it," Amanda answered with a slight smile. "We should talk."

"Exactly what I was thinking." Dotty poured two cups and the two women sat down together at the table in the breakfast nook. "What are you going to do?"

"What am I going to do? About what?"

"You know very well, what, Amanda. Your husband, your marriage, your family... You have to do something."

Amanda looked down at the table to avoid meeting her mother's eyes."I know."

"Why didn't you tell him? Maybe he wouldn't have gone?"

"Maybe that's true, Mother, but if he had stayed, I would've wanted it to be because he wanted to, not because he felt obligated to."

"If you ask me, just the fact that he's already got a family should do both, make him want to stay and feel obligated to stay."

"What do you want me to do, Mother? Divorce him?"

"You were certainly thinking about it six months ago," her mother reminded her.

"I know, but things are different now." Amanda argued.

"They certainly are," Dotty responded dryly. "Now, he's helped you make another baby that he doesn't plan to be home to help raise."

"How did you figure it out anyway?"

Dotty rolled her eyes. "I'm a mother. I know all too well the signs of impending motherhood. The question is what are you going to do about it? I know you're a strong independent woman, but do you really think you can manage three children on your own, plus this house and your activities, and all you do for me with your husband off God knows where?"

"It's only for two weeks," Amanda protested weakly, but she really couldn't convince herself that it was true. How long would it be before two weeks turned into two months or six months?

"This time," Dotty echoed Amanda's thoughts. "But what about next time?"

"There won't be a next time," Amanda assured her mother while also trying to reassure herself. "He promised." She wasn't so sure his promise was real anymore. She had tried to hope for the best, but she just didn't know how to be.

"He promised last time," Dotty pointed out.

"I know, but this one's an emergency," Amanda explained trying to justify Joe's actions to her mother...and to herself.

"It's funny how these emergencies keep happening." She took a sip of her drink and questioned, "But Amanda, there are always going to be emergencies all over the world. Why does he feel that he always has to be the one to try to make them right?"

"He's a good man and he cares about people." That much Amanda was sure of, if nothing else.

"I'm not doubting that for a moment, Amanda. I'm just saying that maybe he should put some of that care toward his own family." Dotty drained her cup, stood and put it in the sink.

When her mother didn't sit back down, Amanda asked, "You turning in for the night?"

Dotty nodded. "It's been a long day, but at least there was some good news today at least. I'm going to be a grandmother again. Maybe this time, you'll get the little girl you've always wanted."

"Maybe," Amanda replied thoughtfully. "Goodnight, Mother," she added absently, not even noticing when her mother kissed her goodnight. Silent tears slipped down her cheeks as the thought of her shattered dreams hit her. She'd come home so excited to tell Joe about the new baby, wanting to talk about buying a bigger house, maybe even discussing baby names, but that moment was lost to her. Maybe not, an inner voice tried to argue. It's only two weeks. "Yeah, right," she said aloud. She was just going to have to face it, she and Joe just didn't agree when it came to family life.