Disclaimer – Stephenie Meyers owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.

A special thanks goes out to my beta, shelikesthesound.

Chapter 21

Trust

BPOV

Edward and I went to school on Monday. There was a ceremony first thing in the morning to present the State Championship trophy to the school. Coach Davis chose Edward to present the trophy to Samantha O'Neill, the Student Council President. Mr. Green was furious he wasn't able to accept the trophy, but Edward had started the tradition three years before when he presented the first championship trophy to the then student council president as the representative of the school. The student body went wild after Edward handed the cup to Samantha, and the band played the fight song for the last time of the season.

The rest of the day was more laid back. The teachers all congratulated him, and they all wanted to know where he was going to play next year. He told them we hadn't decided where we wanted to go yet.

I was one day from being eighteen weeks, and we couldn't be happier about it. I was feeling the baby move, and an ultrasound was scheduled in two weeks to determine the sex of the baby.

When the day came, we were excited to be there. Despite the disapproving looks we received in the waiting room, when the nurse called my name we stood up and followed her to the back of the office with smiles on our faces. She had me change into a gown and lay on the ultrasound table. Five minutes later, the tech, after knocking, entered the room.

She put my name into the computer and said, "Hi," to both of us. We greeted her back, and she began the ultrasound. She measured the head, waist, and femur length of the baby and told us the due date still coincided with my growth. She then looked at the heart, spine, and each of the internal organs. Finally, she looked for the baby's sex. She asked us if we wanted to know, and we told her, "Yes."

"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, it does seem that you are having a little girl," she said. I grabbed Edward's hand and squeezed. Another little girl. Everything was falling back into place. We'd have to pick out another girl's name. I couldn't wait to tell everyone we were having another girl. Everyone would be so happy. They'd be excited if we were having a boy, but I thought they would be overjoyed because we knew we were having another little girl. My prayers had been answered.

Edward leaned over me with tears in his eyes. He kissed me on the lips, and then he whispered in my ear, "I'm so happy, Bella. I couldn't be happier. We're having a little girl who'll look just like her mother. The world is perfect. I can't wait to tell everybody!" I just nodded and turned my head to kiss him again.

By that time, the technician was wiping off my belly, and she told me to keep on my gown. The nurse would be right with us. She walked out of the room, and our nurse came in. She led us to my exam room and told me to go to the bathroom for a urine sample. I did as she said and then went back to my room. Edward and I waited for Dr. Bush to come in for the rest of my exam which went as expected. Dr. Bush said everything was progressing normally. She had us make an appointment for the next month, and she told me to take it easy on the Christmas treats. I promised her I would, and we went back to school.

During lunch, I told Alice and Jasper that our "it" was in fact another "she," and they were stunned. Alice was convinced it was a boy because I'd had so much trouble with morning sickness. I told her I was sorry, but we were having a little girl, and she could help baby-sit any time she wanted. She was not so enthused about that little fact.

Alice and I talked some more at afternoon break, and we decided we'd go Christmas shopping the next weekend. The guys would have some free time together. We decided to go to Seattle for the day Saturday, and we'd take Alice's car. Edward wasn't thrilled with the idea, but he caved when we invited him to go with us. He decided he'd rather spend the day with Jasper instead.

When Saturday rolled around, Alice and I got up early and headed for Seattle. We shopped all day, and we got most of our shopping done. I even bought some baby clothes. I was so excited about my purchases because it felt like I was really going to be a mom this time. We'd never bought the first thing for Victoria. This time, I was ready. This baby was going to be fine, and we were going to be parents. Our trip home was uneventful. When we pulled into my driveway, I went in to get Edward to come outside and help me unload the car. He was dozing off on the couch with a football game on the TV. I woke him up as gently as I could. I could smell the beer in the room. I was hurt and angry.

"Edward, wake up. I need some help with my packages," I said as I shook his shoulder. He woke up immediately. He sat up, stood from the couch, and followed me to the car. He walked steadily and didn't seem to be drunk. I didn't know when they'd been drinking or where they'd gotten the beer, but I'd seen the cans on the floor. Edward helped me with my packages by taking them all to our bedroom. I kissed him, and while his breath didn't taste like beer, it did taste like toothpaste. He turned to go get another load of packages, but I took his hand and pulled him back into the room.

"Edward. Wait a minute," I said. He stopped and turned around. "Have you been drinking?"

"No, Bella. I promised you I wouldn't ever drink again," he said. "I haven't broken that promise."

"Do you swear it?" I asked.

"You don't believe me?" he asked, pulling his hand away from mine.

"I don't know, Edward. The evidence against you is pretty strong," I said.

"What evidence?" he said stiffly.

"Well, you were asleep when I got here…" I started.

"What? A guy can't take a nap in his own home?" he asked.

"And there were beer cans by the couch, and your breath smells like toothpaste," I said.

"Jasper was sitting on the couch, and I had onions on my burger at lunch. Don't you trust me?" he asked.

"I want to," I said. "I really want to, but you've got to admit your track record isn't all that great."

"I've never lied to you," he said, and he turned and walked out of the room. I followed him through the house. He went to the den and picked up the beer cans and took them to the garbage can in the kitchen, and then he went outside into the backyard, slamming the back door. I leaned against the kitchen counter.

Alice came into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"I accused Edward of drinking," I said.

"Why'd you do that?" she asked.

"I don't know. He promised me he wouldn't drink again, and then when I saw him asleep on the couch and the beer cans on the floor, I just jumped to conclusions," I said. "He's pissed off."

"Then go apologize to him," Alice said.

"I don't know if I believe him," I said.

"You know you do. When has he ever lied to you?" Alice asked.

"You don't know everything we've gone through, Alice," I said.

"Then tell me," she said.

"I can't do that. That would betray him, and I won't do that," I said.

"Bella, I thought you said your year started over, whatever that means," Alice said.

"Yeah, we did. You're right. I need to go talk to him," I said. "Thanks for the talk." I gave her a hug, and I opened the door to the backyard. I turned on the outdoor light, and I spotted him leaning against the fence. I walked over to him.

"Edward, I am so sorry for accusing you of drinking."

"What made you change your mind?" he asked.

"Alice reminded me we started this year over. You haven't done anything at all to make me distrust you this year," I said.

"So, you still believe I drank the beer. You're just choosing to ignore what you believe because we started over," he said. "I don't accept your apology, Bella."

"Edward, I don't know what I believe. You've been under so much pressure lately, and you like to escape the pressure. I know you like to drink, and we were gone all day. I know you said you wouldn't drink again, but you are in your own home, and what could you do wrong here?" I said.

"Nothing, except break my promise to you," he said, "which I would never do. Bella, the last thing I would ever do is betray your trust. I don't ever wanna be that out of it ever again, whether I'm in my own home or out on the town. I promised you I'd never drink again, and I didn't mean any exceptions associated with that promise."

"Fine, Edward. I hear you, and I'm sorry I accused you. I believe you," I said.

"No, you don't. You're just saying that."

"No, Edward, I'm not. I believe you."

"Well, I don't believe you. Just go back inside," he said.

"Not without you," I said.

"Fine, I'll come back inside." I turned to go back to the house, and he followed me. I sat down on the couch, and he sat down in the recliner across the room from me. He wouldn't look at me.

"Edward, you won't believe what I bought. I got some of the cutest little outfits today. The baby is gonna look so precious in them," I said trying to break some of the tension in the room. "Do you guys wanna see them?"

"Of course they do," Alice said. "Let's go get them." She got up from her seat in Jasper's lap and pulled me up from the couch. We went back to my bedroom, and she helped me get the outfits out of the bags. We could hear Jasper and Edward talking about our fight. I just sat down on the bed and put my head into my hands.

"When am I gonna quit putting my foot in my mouth, Alice?" I asked.

"When you quit loving him," Alice said. "Until then, you're gonna continue to screw up."

"That's not fair. I wanna trust him without a doubt, but so many things have happened I just don't," I said.

"And you won't tell me what," Alice said.

"I can't, Alice. I just can't," I said. "It would ruin my marriage."

"Okay. I believe you, but I can't help you, either, except to tell you he loves you, and you love him, and whatever it is he's done to make you distrust him had to have been major, but bottom line, Bella, is I've never seen Edward love anyone the way that he loves you, and you've been in love with him for as long as I can remember. That has to count for something."

"It does. Trust me. If I didn't love him this much, and if I didn't know he loves me, we wouldn't be together right now."

"That bad? It happened at the frat party, didn't it?"

"Yeah, it did."

"It must have involved his drinking at the party if he promised he wouldn't ever drink again. He did something when he was drunk. Bella, if he was drunk, he couldn't really be held responsible for his actions. He wasn't in his right mind. After all, he didn't cheat or something that bad, did he?" I was silent. I didn't look her in the face. "Bella, did he?" I continued to look into my lap. She took her hands and put them on my shoulders. "Bella, no. Oh, sweetheart. No! I'm so, so sorry. That's why you were crying the next morning. You caught him cheating. What was he doing? Kissing another girl? Come on Bella! You can't go through this alone." I shook my head.

"No, Alice. It wasn't that. Don't worry about it. Okay. Edward and I have moved past that night. I don't wanna think about that night ever again. Please. Don't ever bring that night up again. As my best friend, don't ever bring that night up to either one of us again. Just suffice it to say that whatever happened, he swore he would never drink again."

"Bella, you can't live by his rules. You've gotta be able to talk these things out with your friends. You're gonna go crazy if you have to keep things this serious bottled up inside. You have no one else to talk to about things," Alice said.

"I don't think I would have talked to anyone about this anyway. I'd be too embarrassed," I said. "Now let's get the baby clothes and show the guys."

We finished gathering the clothes and walked up to the front of the house. The guys had finished their conversation and were just sitting there quietly. Alice and I sat down on the couch and held up each of the outfits. The guys "ooh'ed" and "aah'ed" at the appropriate times, and we took the clothes back to the bedroom when we finished showing them. When we came back up front, I heard Edward saying he was getting excited about the baby, and he was really glad we had bought the baby clothes.

I went back and sat on the couch. I could tell that Edward was still angry at me, but I still didn't know if I was sure he was telling the truth or not. I didn't like the feeling of not being able to trust him. How could we get that trust back? I wasn't sure. Would I ever trust him again?