The Scars Of War
Author's Note: I have been extremely busy with college and life so I haven't been able to update in a while. Hopefully I will have more frequent updates now. I hope you like it! Enjoy
Warning: Miscarriage trigger
Disclaimer: I do not own anything BSG related
Four Months, 3 Weeks and 7 Days (Continued)
I remember screaming as the doctor brought the needle closer and closer to my skin. I closed my eyes and waited for the pinch of the needle to come, but instead there was a loud crash. My eyes flew open and all I saw were Kara and Lee fighting with Jameson and the other occupants of the room. It all passed quickly and I was soon freed, which is how I ended up now running/fast walking for my life.
We had made it down the hall without too much commotion, but now we had to somehow make it across the hangar bay to a passenger ship that was sitting alone. There were quite a few workers milling about and they were the only people preventing their escape. They needed a distraction of some kind, but they had nothing to use.
"We can probably skirt around the perimeter of the hangar over to the crates over there," Lee pointed towards the far back corner of the hangar, "Kara and I will still have a few guys to fight, but it's our best shot."
I looked at the ship and nodded, "If we get close enough to the ship, I may be able to convince them to let me on. If I can, then I'll start it up while you two climb aboard when they leave."
Kara looked at me with surprise, "You can start that thing up?"
I laughed a bit at her disbelief, "Yes. Bill taught me how to pilot one similar to it while we were on New Caprica."
"All right, Madame President!" Kara gave me a high five and smiled brightly, "Once we get back I want to see some of your skills."
Lee was smiling too, but he was focused on the people in front of him, "Okay, we have to move now. We are running out of time."
By the time we made it to the crates, I started to feel a bit dizzy. I wasn't sure if it was form being knocked out by Jameson earlier or from the shot they apparently gave me after that, but whatever it was had started to make me worry. If I passed out before we took the ship, there was no way we were getting out of here. I just have to think about Bill.
"Lee," I call out to him, "We need to move fast. I don't know how much longer I can stand upright."
Both of them looked at me with concern, but I brushed them off and waited for them to get into position. Once they were ready, I gave them the signal and started to calmly walk towards the ship. I made it about halfway before somebody finally noticed me.
"President Roslin!" the one closest to me yelled, "What do you think you are doing?"
"I'm getting in that ship and going back to Galactica," I said without stopping.
"But you aren't supposed to be down here," another man stuttered, clearly confused as to why I was down there.
"Yes, I am," I say, glaring at them both.
"Ma'am," a taller man emerged from behind the ship and stopped right in front of me, "You are supposed to be upstairs with the council."
"They are finished with the procedure," I lie, "I told them to frak off and said I could find my own way down here, which is why I am down here alone. I also just spent quite a bit of time strapped to a table with needles and medical instruments all around me, so I suggest you move the hell out of my way before I decide that I don't like you anymore."
He seemed to look me over for a while before he stepped aside and let me through.
"We are going to go find the council leader and ask her if you really are cleared to go," he said as I boarded the ship.
"Oh, please do," I said seriously, "I need her to get me a pilot for this damn thing."
The three of them walked away, followed by the last remaining men around the ship, and headed out the hatch back towards the medical room and holding cells. I quickly climbed into the pilots chair and began the start-up sequence. I had just finished prepping everything when Lee and Kara took over for me. They soon had the bay doors open and us in the air. As we flew out however, we were stopped by 6 raptors as they surrounded our ship.
Lee instantly got on the comms to stop them from blowing us away, "This is Apollo and Starbuck. We have the President on board."
"Apollo, this is Racetrack," came through the comms, "You take the lead and we will cover you."
"Copy that, Racetrack," Lee said, while breathing a sigh of relief, "We're almost home, Laura."
I smiled at him and Kara and just leaned back into my seat. Now that we had escaped and things had settled down, I had time to think about the test results. I couldn't believe that the baby was not Bill's. I may have feared that it was part cylon, but I had convinced myself that it was going to be human. As I thought about the possible reactions that Bill could have to the news, I realized that I suddenly didn't want to be back on Galactica. I didn't want to have to confront the man I love about this baby. I didn't want to have to abort my only chance at becoming a mother, but I didn't have a choice in the matter.
"We are about to land," Kara called back to me as they gently put the ship down.
When we landed, I waited for the all clear to get out, but before it could come, I heard Lee and Kara curse under their breaths.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"The cylons are here. They boarded right behind us," Kara growled.
I unbuckled my seat belt and climbed to the front to see what they were talking about and sure enough there were several models and copies as well as a few centurions.
"This can't be good," I whispered as I watched the get out of their ship and head straight for ours.
They were soon knocking on the hatch and we reluctantly let them in. I watched as Leoben and Cavil came forward and walked straight up to me.
"Please come with us, Laura," Cavil said, gesturing for me to step out of the ship.
"Why?" I say as I feel another wave of dizziness hit me.
"Because we need to talk about the future of our child," Cavil responds.
"This is not your child," I say weekly as my vision starts to blur.
"That's not what Cottle's test says," D'Anna replies from the back.
I can feel my knees weaken and I am able to catch myself before I fall, but I am quickly losing consciousness.
"Laura?" Leoben catches me as I stumble again, "Are you alright?"
"I feel weak and dizzy," I say, not really caring that it is Leoben who is holding me.
Out of all of the cylons, he is the only one I trust. Although, I am not too worried about Leoben hurting me, I just want him to let me go so that I can find Bill. I may not want to talk to him about the baby, but I want him to hug me and tell me everything is going to be alright.
"We'll take care of you," Leoben says before picking me up into his arms and heading back to their ship.
By this point, I was too dizzy to protest and I could barely hear Lee and Kara protesting as the centurions held them back. Just as I was aboard the craft and watching as the hatch closed, I heard Bill scream out my name as Marines rushed to stop the ship. But it was all too late.
"Bill," I whispered before feeling a piercing pain radiating from my stomach, "Ahhh!"
Leoben instantly puts me down and calls Simon over to look at me. I know what is happening, but I am in too much pain to say anything. I can hear Leoben calling out to me, asking what is wrong. All of the cylons are freaking out, and Leoben just keeps yelling at me.
"Miscarriage," I groan, "I'm having a miscarriage."
Another sharp pain hits me hard and I have to grab my stomach and I scream. All I can do is scream grab at my stomach as I feel my baby dying. There is a part of me that hopes it was a cylon child because then maybe I won't feel as bad, but I know that is not true. This baby is still part of me. It was.
"Laura," Simon is calling out to her, "I am going to need you to try to relax, okay?"
I would roll my eyes if I could, but the pain is more than I can bear at the moment.
"She's bleeding!" Leoben yells as he places his discarded t-shirt over my thighs.
"We need to get her back quickly," Simon says as he begins to monitor my vitals.
"Can you do anything for her?" Cavil says as he stands off to the side to observe everything.
"I don't have anything that I need. We have to get her into the recovery wing so I can start a blood transfusion," Simon grumbles as he tries to keep me stable.
Soon, everything is blurring and I can feel myself start to fade. I took one last look at Leoben who was now cradling my head in his lap and just let the darkness consume me. I was done hurting and I now wanted to sleep.
Galactica…
"I want a raptor fueled and ready for departure in 3 minutes!" I yelled at my crew ass I headed towards the flight suits.
I can't believe I almost had her back only to have the cylons take her from me again. None of this would have happened if I had told her not to visit the civilian ships until everything calmed down. Now she was being taken aboard a cylon run ship and it was my entire fault.
"Bill," Saul called as he tried to catch up to me, "What the frak are you doing?"
"I have to go after her, Saul," I say while quickly changing into the suit and grabbing a helmet, "I can't live without her. I need to make sure she is alright."
"I'll go with you," he says, but I stop him.
"If we both go, the fleet is vulnerable to an attack," I reason before climbing aboard my raptor, "Hold down the fort until I get my wife back."
Saul nods and lets me go and the flight deck clears and I fire up the raptor. As I finally take off, I see the cylon's passenger ship reach the base ship and land. I try not to think about what they might be doing to Laura, but Lee told me that she collapse just as they took her away. He hoped she was okay, but I'm not sure. Lee and Kara said that they got there before the doctor was able to start the procedure, but something might have happened before.
"I'm on my way, Laura," I whisper, hoping that she will be alright.
Base Ship…
I was aware of a tube in my left arm, and I could hear Leoben yelling at Simon to get the transfusion started. That must mean that I haven't been out for a too long. Everyone is running around me but they seem to been moving in slow motion and their voices are distorted. I start to feel something rushing into my arm and realize that Simon must have started the transfusion. I think about going back to sleep, but then Sharon's voice catches my attention.
"The in-coming raptor is carrying Adama," she called out to everyone, "He wants to be let aboard."
"Bill," I croak as I try to sit up.
"Laura, you have to stay down. You are very weak and Simon still has to check on the child," Six said firmly.
"Let him aboard," Cavil says, "She is only going to cause us more trouble until he is here. Have a few centurions pick him up."
Soon I am watching as Bill is escorted up to where we are and rushes to my side. Simon is still examining me and I watch as his expression seems to go from concern to devastation. He turns to Cavil and tells him something, which makes Cavil stare down at me in disgust. He moves to grab me, but Leoben stops him and demands to know what is going on.
"The child is gone," he sneers.
Leoben looks down at me and gives me a sad smile, "It's not her fault for having a miscarriage. If we hadn't said anything, the civilians would not have felt it necessary to try to abort the pregnancy."
Bill squeezed my hand as we listened to what they were saying. The baby was gone. There would be no more hassle over the child. Cavil and Leoben would no longer have a personal interest in me and we could go back to being enemies. Bill and I could go back to enjoying our lives together. I wouldn't be a mother. Bill would no longer be a father.
"It was your child, Leoben," Cavil growls, "The insemination process worked with your sperm. Do you still feel the same way?" he said before storming off.
It seems that was the cue for all of the cylons to leave and soon it was only Bill, Leoben and me. I looked at Leoben to gauge his reaction. He seemed to be upset, but not angry.
"What did he mean by 'insemination process'?" I ask cautiously.
He hesitated for a moment before bringing over two chairs for himself and Bill. Bill was a bit shocked but decided not to question it.
"You cannot account for a few hours of your time on New Caprica because we put you under anesthesia. We realized that you hadn't become pregnant after our first… encounter…and Cavil wanted to ensure that you would be. Simon proposed the idea a while ago as a solution for cylon pregnancies, but it didn't work so we decided to try it on you since you are human. We artificially fertilized a few of your eggs with Cavil's sperm and some with mine. We didn't know if it took until we heard it over some of the comms that we intercepted."
The whole time Leoben was talking, I tried hard not to cry. That is what happened during my missing hours. I didn't want to look at Bill because I knew I would crack. If I had to look into his face as he realized that the cylons had violated her in every way possible, she would not be able to stay strong. I had every intension of not looking at my husband until he called my name softly.
"Laura," he said, "Are you alright?"
"I'm so sorry, Bill," I start to cry, "I'm so sorry that this was not your child. I'm sorry for taking away your chance at being a father again."
"No," he said while stroking my face, "This is none of your fault. You can't apologize for this because I know you are hurting just as much. You don't get to be a mother, and I know you are devastated, but we are going to get through it. I love you, Laura, and everything is going to be okay."
I nodded and buried my face in his shoulder as he hugged me. I was vaguely aware of Leoben leaving, but I could care less. At this point, I was beyond devastated. Not only was my child gone, but I found out that I was violated and artificially inseminated by the cylons. Bill kissed the top of my head and helped me calm down. By the time I was back to normal, or as normal as I could be, Cavil and Simon had returned.
"You are free to go," Cavil said coldly.
Bill nodded before helping me to sit up. Simon unhooked me and Bill made sure that I was okay to walk before we started to leave.
"You should be thanking us," Cavil called after us, "The reason you had to be artificially inseminated is because your body does not allow for a natural insemination. We were doing you a favor, and you ruined it."
With that, Simon and Cavil left and Bill and I decided to get back to Galactica as soon as possible. We got down to the raptor and Bill helped me up onto the wing. Just as we were about to get in, Leoben stopped us.
"I may not like the fact that you have her," he said to Bill, "but I don't want to cause her pain."
He then handed Bill a box with some kind of contraption in it.
Seeing our confusion he said, "Show it to Cottle and he will know what to do. There are also some medications in there to help with any cramping you might have in the next few days."
Bill took the box and loaded it into the raptor. I turn to Leoben and thanked him for his help. Instead of responding, he just turned around and left. I watched as he disappeared. A part of me felt sorry for him as well, but I didn't want to dwell on that too much.
"Laura?" Bill said, "Are you ready to go home?"
I nodded and soon we were back on the raptor headed for Galactica. I was sleep before we got even close to our ship. Tomorrow would be better. I hope.
TBC…