Jasper

I pulled away from Bella so that I could look at her while I told my story. I just couldn't believe she didn't know! Well I guess that explained her trust in me. She didn't know the truth so she felt safe around me. Her natural instincts towards us never kicked in, so why would I be any different.

I sat on the coffee table facing Bella as she readjusted herself to be sitting up with the blanket draped around her shoulders. I rested my elbows on my knees and just let me head hang for a moment. This was about to change everything and I let my sorrow fill me for a moment. To gain a family, and lose it all within the course of a few hours; I sighed.

"Jasper, I promise nothing you tell me will change how I view you. You're loyal, and kind and loving and strong. Whatever it is you can tell me, it's going to be ok" Bella stated quietly and she placed her hand on my head and ran her fingers through my hair. I sat up and her hand fell back to her lap. She offered me a small smile.

I returned her smile with a small sad one of my own. "Darlin' you say that now but you have yet to hear it. There is a reason Edward didn't tell you my story, it's because I come from the very darkest parts of our world."

I tasted her emotions; she held only curiosity and determination. Odd girl, but I would take what I could get. I sighed.

"I was born in 1844 in Houston, Texas by the name Jasper Whitlock. I don't remember much of my home life other than I wanted to get away from it because it wasn't good. Carlisle is the only true father I have ever known" I felt his love and turned to give him a small smile and nod of my head in acknowledgement.

"At 17 I left to join the Army, saying I was a bit older. I became the youngest Major in all of Texas, not even accounting for the "added" years. I truly enjoyed the army" I kept myself focused on Bella. She seemed focused on my tale, almost wistful. I knew I was about to crush that.

"I was 19 at the time, when I was evacuating women and children from Galveston when I ran into Maria and her sisters Lucy and Nettie. I simply stopped to offer my aid as any gentlemen would do and Maria decided I could be of use to her upon seeing my military uniform. She decided to turn me" Bella seemed confused.

"You see Maria had just lost her territory and she thought with my military expertise that she could get it back. In those days the Southern Vampire Wars waged alongside what is now known as the American Civil War, and Maria was looking to gain the upper hand. She convinced me that the whole of the vampire race was embattled little this and that serving her was my rightful place. For a while she even had me convinced that she loved me" Bella's confusion had dropped and was now replaced with sadness. No fear though, I knew that would come next.

"I was very good at my job: training newborns. I was essentially doing what I had done before my change just more viciously and with the use of my "gift"', I sneered the word, "Although in those days I saw it as a curse. You've only ever seen me use my gift for good Darlin' but I could make you feel unimaginable pain and drop you from across the room, all without ever laying a hand on you. I could make you shake with fear or cry as if your heart had been ripped out. And I did those things. My job was to be Maria's right hand: fierce, loyal and feared. And I did it well. I killed thousands of vampires, and equally as many humans for food. I didn't know there was any other way. Maria had me convinced that killing humans was our natural right and fighting to the death the nature order of things. Because of my natural talent as an officer and then my ability to manipulate emotions I was unstoppable, and this caused Maria's power to grow" I checked Bella again and she seemed to be wavering between sadness and…empathy maybe? It was hard to describe it, not something I'd expected.

"I was lonely and felt tortured in that every time I killed I felt the helpless and fear and absolute terror of my victims, whether vampire or human. It was tearing at the very fabric of my soul. It was about this time that I was having this inner crisis that I befriended Peter, or rather he doggedly befriended me. You see Maria didn't keep newborns past the one year mark, but I convinced her of Peter's usefulness. He became my right hand. This went on for a few years until one day we went out to destroy the newborns that had passed the one year mark and Peter went off his rocker. He grabbed one of the newborns, a girl by the name of Charlotte, and told her to run. I let them go but Maria made me pay for it" I shuttered "It was a handful of years later, in 1938 when Peter came back for me telling me that up north vampires coexisted and didn't fight the way we were in the South. I immediately left with him and Charlotte, who it turned out was his mate, and traveled with them a while. And although not having to fight lessened my burden slightly it did not ease my guilt from having to kill humans. Even when I tried to space it out and eat less often, it would become overwhelming and I'd snap. I tried to feed from the dregs of society but it wasn't enough. I left Peter and Charlotte on good terms to try and pursue an easier way of life, one in which I could live with myself. So in 1948 I ran into Alice in a dinner, she held out her hand and told me she'd been waiting on me. I was puzzled but felt hope for the first time. She explained about her gift, and that she'd seen me and ultimately that she knew what Carlisle believed, and that we would be welcomed here. So we learned the animal blood diet, with quite a few mishaps but showed up on Carlisle's doorstep asking to join the family. Gave him quite the shock too" I laughed somberly "It took me a long while to grasp that he wasn't going to kill me" Bella gasped.

"You really thought that Carlisle would harm you?" she started laughing now.

"Believe it or not, yes. It had never crossed my mind that a family rather than a coven was even an option for us, or that anyone truly had my best interests at heart. I have to say any lesser man would have acted differently but Carlisle and Esme welcomed us with open arms and after some bumps in the road and some talk's things have been more or less smooth on that front. Or at least they were until you came along and I voted to kill you" I dropped my head in shame, Bella was throwing out some amusement though, so I glanced up to make eye contact.

"What, little old human me, a threat to you?" she laughed having no idea how serious this was.

"Yes" I told her definitively, "Your discovering our secret was a big threat. If Alice and Edward hadn't both stepped in to stop me, Rose and I would have killed you Bella. It was the only way to ensure the safety of this family. You have to remember I think strategically and you were a threat to counter" I pleaded with her.

"Jasper, I get it. We're long past that, but things make more sense now. I understand" she stated calmly.

Now I was confused, what did she think she understood? "What is it that makes sense now?" I asked, bewildered.

"Why you stayed away from me when I first came to the house and then the way everyone would never leave us alone together. I was a threat, one that you wanted to eliminate" she stated again. How was she so dang calm?!

"But then Phoenix happened and like everyone else in this house I realized that you had become someone to defend, not someone to defend against. When we were in that hotel room in Phoenix I knew then that you were a part of this family for keeps" I looked at her. She was giving out thanks and appreciation.

Bella reached out and grabbed my hand and made eye contact, "Jasper I was wrong, my opinion of you has absolutely changed in hearing your story." I dropped my eyes and pulled my hand away, moving to stand. Bella followed me and grasped my arm.

"Jasper, you didn't let me finish. When I looked at you yesterday or months ago, I saw a young man very much trying to live his best self. Strong, loyal, and caring to a fault. You were rough when you needed to be, like in Phoenix, but I also saw you would defend this family with everything you had. You were quiet and reclusive, but always a calming presence. I have to admit I wanted to know you more, but you always stayed in the background. On my birthday" I flinched, she continued on as if nothing had happened "I knew you were fighting your emotions with everything you had in you and still you had the mindset to allow yourself to be pulled from the room, that is true strength but that was all I knew. Now, knowing your story, and hearing how absolutely horrible it was I can't by help that my opinion of you is so much higher. To come back from some of the heinous things that horrible woman made you do. To be so loving and caring and attentive, and just truly tender is an act of will. My God, Jasper do you realize how tremendous you are? How incredible you are to me? If you thought telling me your story would change my mind about how I feel about you, then you are delusional" she laughed, throwing her arms around me "I love you big brother" she said as she cried into my shirt.

My arms automatically wrapped around her while I tried to process her words. She didn't hate me, she respected me, she loved me, and she thought that what I had been through somehow made me a better person? What?!

"Bella" I said pulling back "you do realize that I said in the middle there that I have killed thousands upon thousands of humans and vampires, right? That there deaths have made me the most feared vampire in the world?" I looked at her bewildered making sure she had caught that.

"Yes Jasper" she sighed exasperatedly, "but what I also heard was you made the choice to stop both of those after 75 years! 75 years Jasper! That is an act of willpower that not many would have been able to make. I am in awe of you" she said looking up at me once again.

And I reviewed every emotion I had catalogued from her during my entire speech: awe, determination, pain, sadness, hope, love, even amusement at points. Never once had she felt fear or pity. She truly believed what she was saying. I was going to need to process this.

"Darlin' I am in awe of you. I cannot believe you are not repulsed by me and scared of my presence. I tell you I'm a murder and you tell me you're proud of me for not doing it recently and jump into my arms? Have you no self-preservation at all?" I looked at her indulgently.

She simply smiled and shrugged her shoulders, before wrapping me even tighter in a hug. "Jasper you're my brother, I know you'd never hurt me" I could hear the smile in her voice and the love she threw at me as I moved to scoop her up and sit us both back on the couch.

"Bella you surpass the humility and humanity of anyone I have ever met. You are the first person to ever not feel fear, apprehension, pity, repulsion or disgust upon hearing my story. Of course most vampires feel that just upon seeing me. You Darlin' are truly unique and I cannot describe how blessed I am to have you in my life and how cherished I feel being able to wrap you in my arms as you snuggle with me. I didn't think I would ever say that!" I laughed, "Not even Alice, likes to snuggle in my arms!" I gave her a wry smile.

Alice gave me a sad smile, "Jasper you know you are the only one for me, and I truly love you, I do, but I cannot help what I feel" she looked at the floor.

I returned her sentiment wrapping my love around her, "I know you do Al, but to have someone accept me without fear? I know you accept me and my past but you are not without pity for me or repulsion at the things I've done. I know you've forgiven me, but with Bella, it's like she's not passing judgment at all. She simply feels for me and with me; there's a clean heart in her that is unrivaled" I spoke softly, glancing down at Bella in my lap as she blushed.

Bella looked up at Alice, "I'm sorry Alice. I don't want to intrude" she said trying to get off my lap, I pulled her back, that wasn't happening.

Alice jumped in then, quickly to placate, "No, no, Bella, you're not intruding. You know you are my best friend and that I adore you. It gives me great peace that you are able to give Jasper unconditional acceptance I only wish I could have done the same" she gave a small sad smile.

"Alice" Bella injected "you love him every single day. It is so very evident how much you care for one another and how devoted you both are to one another. The only difference is that I believe in the Jasper I see in front of me. The one I know, the brother I love. His past is horrific and it pains me to know he endured it, but he's here and he's striving to make the most of this life. Show him the same confidence you show your visions. Part of the problems in this family have been caused by members relying too much on their gifts. Just live in the moment and be grateful for what you have, who you have. I would never try to get between you and Jasper I am just glad to be able to get to know him" Bella finished looking up at me and smiling.

"Thank you Bella" Alice reached down to hug her "for being the missing piece to our family" she whispered in her ear. She gave a stroke to her hair before plopping back down in her chair on the other side of the room.

After a beat of silence, Esme shifted slightly.

"Well now then I think it's time Bella took a shower, and ate some dinner" Esme said standing. Bella looked up at her, "I'm not really hungry Esme" she said softly.

"Nonsense Dear, you need to eat" Esme said waving her hand, "I'll make you some dinner while you shower. I can guarantee you'll be hungry by the time it's done" she said smiling and brushing my shoulder as she left the room.

Carlisle shook his head and went to follow Esme, "Welcome home Bella, we'll talk more later but for now I think you should take that shower. Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, we don't you go hunt now" he suggested.

Rosalie and Emmett made to stand, Alice kept her seat, Rose looked down at Alice, "Coming?" she asked.

Alice just smiled at her and tipped her head, "You go on ahead, and we'll join you in a bit. I'm going to help Bella find some new clothes and then we'll be along" she said looking to me.

Emmett smiled, "So Baby, think we can find something to do for the next half hour" he wiggled his eyebrows. Rose laughed and allowed him to tug her out of the house.

Alice got up and looked at me, "Come on, shower time!" she sang and then flitted up the stairs.

I looked down at the girl curled up in my lap. I still couldn't believe she was so ok with what I had done and who I had been. She truly was a better person then I could have ever hoped to know. I didn't want to taint her with my life, but instead she brought light into mine. She was non-judgmental and accepting. I knew getting to know my little sister would be a lot of fun, her emotions were so pure and strong I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay away. The only thing that had kept me at a distance before was that I didn't want to harm her, or for that matter, scare her. But with the first thing painful to me and the second a moot point after Bella knew all of the truth I knew I would be spending a lot more time with her and I was very glad for that. I could just be myself around her. I placed a kiss to her head and stood up.

"Darlin' best not to make Alice wait" I said as I carried her up the stairs to the room Alice and Esme had prepared for her. Bella just wrapped her arms around my neck and turned her face into my chest. It made my heart warm, I chuckled and she nodded her assent.

I walked us into the room as Alice came skipping out of the closet, "Here you go Bella, I kept it simple for you: jeans and a long sleeve top, there's a couple of sweaters in the top drawer of the dresser if you want one, and here are some flats for you" she said setting them at the foot of the bed.

I set Bella on her feet, with my hands on her waist to steady her before going to step away, stopped me when she placed her hands over mine on her hips which she squeezed before releasing. We shared a light smile.

"Thanks Alice" Bella said, happiness and contentment filling her.

"No problem" Alice chirped "Shampoo and Conditioner are on the ledge, towels are on the rack and there is a hairbrush on the sink. We'll see you in a couple of hours" Alice said "Jasper I'll meet you in the backyard in 5 minutes" Alice said, kissing Bella on the cheek and dancing out of the room.

"Bella…" I started, she cut me off with a raise of her hand.

"Thank you Jasper" she said, "thank you for trusting me with your story and a piece of your heart. I am so very proud of you, and so very honored to know such a genuinely good man as you. Please never forget that. You are good. You are loved. And I am so immensely overjoyed to have you for a brother. So thank you for being you, and for always choosing the harder right over the easier wrong" she tapered off, wringing her hands. I could feel her nerves grounded in what I'm assuming was apprehension over my reaction. I quickly disappeared that, she narrowed her eyes, I chuckled.

"No, thank you Darlin' for being so accepting of me. I'm still trying to think it all through but you are a beautiful person both inside and out, just in the way you treat others and the way you approach situations, your compassion shines through. I am so lucky to have gotten you for a little sister, and I can't wait to get to know you a lot better. I'll have to warn you I will probably be around quite a bit, your emotions are like a drug, they draw me in and I can't get enough" her eyes widened, I rushed to reassure her, "it's a good thing, I promise. So thank you, I love you" I finished as tears filled her eyes and she rushed towards me for a hug.

I picked her up and hugged her close for a moment before setting her back on the floor, "I love you too" she whispered, love outpouring for her body and filling me to the brim. I don't think I'd ever be able to get enough of her emotions.

"OK now go take that shower before Alice comes up here to drag me down and Esme kicks my butt from keeping you from your dinner" I laughed. She smiled, blushed, and stepped away.

"Yes Sir!" She replied cheekily grabbing her clothes off the bed and bolting to the bathroom. I could hear her unfiltered laughter as she slammed the door and left me standing alone in her room.

A grin broke out across my face. I loved that she was able to tease me about my past and didn't seem the least bit bothered by it. I turned and walked down the stairs, through the house to the backyard.

Alice was waiting bouncing on her toes, she held out her hand with a smile. "Ready?" she asked.

"Like you don't already know" I replied as we linked hands and bolted into the trees.

As my feet flew over the ground with Alice at my side, I felt freer than I had in all my immortal existence. My control was stronger than ever, I was linked permanently to my forever family, one which I loved; and my little sister had accepted me whole-heartedly without fear or pity or judgement. She had given me hope that I could enjoy this life. As I moved further away from the house I let me love and joy expand outward and watched as Alice enjoyed the climate I was creating, she smiled a megawatt smile at me before picking up the pace as we crossed paths with some local game. I couldn't think of a better day.