Next Day

Murphy was the first one to wake up the next morning. His whole face hurt and he had no idea why. He walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. What he saw next had him screaming.

'AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!'

Emily woke with a start. She fell out of bed, crashing hard on the floor.

Murphy bolted into the bedroom. His whole face was covered with black and purple bruises.

Emily freed herself from her cocoon of covers. She looked at Murphy and gasped.

'Oh. My. God.'

'I fuckin' look like I got my ass kicked by Muhammad Ali!' said Murphy, 'my whole fuckin' face! WHAT THE FUCK, EMILY?'

Emily carefully examined her husband's bruised face. Then, suddenly, she burst out laughing.

'What's so funny?' asked Murphy, 'why are ye laughin'?'

Emily didn't answer. She just laughed harder.

'What the fuck are ye laughin' at?' asked Murphy.

Emily regained composure. She cleared her throat.

'I'm laughing because I had no fucking idea I hit you that fucking hard,' she said, 'you look terrible, Murphy.'

'No fuckin' shit I look terrible!' said Murphy, 'my fuckin' face is covered with bruises!'

'I'm sorry,' said Emily, hugging Murphy tight, 'I shouldn't have hit you that hard.'

'I'm not mad at ye, Em,' said Murphy, 'ye looked fuckin' sexy last night.'

Emily laughed and hugged her husband tighter, kissing his neck gently.

'I gotta admit,' said Murphy, 'ye look sexy when yer on top.'

Emily smiled. She loves making Murphy feel good. His pleasure comes before hers in her eyes.

'Come on,' said Murphy, 'I'm gonna make me sexy French Maid breakfast.'

'Ooh-la-la!' purred Emily.

Everyone was still asleep when Murphy and Emily went downstairs. Murphy immediately began cooking Emily's breakfast, smiling his beautiful smile.

'You know, for someone who got beat to shit by his wife, you're really happy,' smiled Emily.

'I can' help it,' said Murphy, 'I married tha most amazing girl in tha whole world.'

'Aww…' said Emily.

Suddenly, Murphy and Emily heard footsteps. Slow, painful footsteps.

'Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.'

'That sounds like Rebecca…' said Emily.

'Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.'

'That's Connor,' said Murphy, 'he sounds like he's in pain.'

And he was.

Connor and Rebecca limped into the kitchen. Both of them looked like they were in a ton of pain.

'Are you okay?' asked Emily as Connor sat down.

'Couldn't be better,' said Connor, gently pulling Rebecca into his lap.

'Ow…' whimpered Rebecca.

'Ye sure?' asked Murphy, 'ye sound like yer in pain.'

'I'm fuckin' fine!' roared Connor.

Everyone jumped.

'Ow…' whimpered Rebecca.

'Sorry, Becca-Bear,' said Connor.

'You guys hungry?' asked Emily.

'Starving,' said Rebecca.

Michael and Jane walked up from the dungeon. Both of them looked exhausted.

'I see breakfast is made,' he said, tripping over his own foot.

'Careful, Michael…' said Jane.

Murphy turned around. Everyone gasped.

'Whoa,' said Rebecca, 'what the hell happened to you?'

'Nothin' happened,' muttered Murphy.

Michael sat down at the table. He fumbled and face planted, falling asleep.

'Is he okay?' asked Rebecca.

'He's exhausted,' said Jane, rubbing Michael's back, 'poor baby.'

'Did ye an' Em get in a fight last night?' asked Connor.

'Nope,' said Murphy, 'I love me Emykins. Ye know that.'

'Then why is your face all bruised?' asked Jane, 'it looks like someone beat the shit out of you.'

'Umm…' said Murphy, 'umm…'

'Murphy?' said Rebecca, 'what happened?'

Murphy looked at Emily.

'Help me,' he mouthed.

Emily sighed.

'I kinda, sorta, really, slapped him last night,' she said, 'sexual purposes.'

Well, no one said anything for a moment. Then, suddenly, Connor burst out laughing.

'What?' he said, 'she did what?'

'All HBK's fault!'

Everyone looked at Michael, surprised.

'What was that?' said Rebecca.

'He sleep talks,' said Jane.

'But, Janey, I don't wanna go to school!' mumbled Michael, snoring.

'Dude, get tha camera,' whispered Connor, 'we need ta record this shit.'

Murphy grabbed Michael's camera and hit record. He sniggered.

'Ow.'

'Take it easy, baby,' said Emily, 'sorry about your face.'

'Fuck off, Carl Watson…' mumbled Michael, 'take your shit and shove it.'

'This is fuckin' gold!' sniggered Murphy.

'Definitely payback for Vegas, bro,' sniggered Connor.

Murphy high-fived his brother. Connor cringed.

'Sorry,' whispered Murphy.

'Mommy watch me go down the slide!'

Michael fell off his chair. Connor and Murphy sniggered.

'That was fun!'

Connor tried his hardest not to laugh too loud. Murphy was doubled over with laughter.

'Mommy I wanna go trick-or-treating…PWEEEEEEEASE?'

A small giggle escaped from Jane's lips before she could stop it. Connor and Murphy were laughing hysterically.

'Mommy, I'm going to the elephant shop to buy an elephant and get it car washed.'

Connor clung to Rebecca for dear life. He was laughing but it hurt.

'Ow…' he muttered between giggles, 'this hurts…'

'Poor Mike,' giggled Rebecca.

'Him an' his fuckin' sleep-talking,' sniggered Murphy.

'Captain Lone Starr, Barf, HELP ME! Pizza The Hut is chasing me! FUCKING HELP ME, DUDES!'

Connor fell out of his chair, taking Rebecca with him. They both crashed onto the floor.

'Oww…'

'I should get him to bed,' said Jane, picking Michael up, 'he should sleep for another hour, at least.'

'See you in an hour,' said Emily.

Everyone sat in the living room and waited for Michael. Finally, he came downstairs, accompanied by Jane.

'There he is!' said Connor, 'tha Sinner Saint an' his girlfriend!'

'Hey, guys,' said Jane, helping Michael into the living room.

'How did everyone enjoy their night last night?' asked Rocco, 'what did you guys do after the party?'

'WE HAD SEX!' hollered Emily.

Murphy buried his face in his hands. He winced.

'I have a question!' said Isabelle, raising her hand, 'why the hell did Emily slap you?'

'Let's just say that people have their…preferences,' said Murphy, 'sexual ones.'

'Homie…' said Romeo, 'do you have a slapping fetish?'

'No, no, I'm not sayin' that at all!' said Murphy, looking around.

'You so do!' said Rocco, 'I can tell by looking at your face!'

Murphy's face flushed a bright red.

'I said nothin' o' tha sort,' he muttered.

'Murphy's got a fetish! Murphy's got a fetish!' teased Connor.

'Shut yer fuckin' mouth, Rope Boy!' hissed Murphy.

'Behave, Murphy,' said Emily in a stern voice.

'You, too, Connor,' said Rebecca.

'Well, what did Jane and Michael do last night?' asked Angelica.

'Michael made me a delicious dinner in the dungeon,' smiled Jane.

'Aww!' said Emily, 'that's cute!'

'What else?' said Isabelle, 'spill!'

Jane smiled at Michael. Michael smiled at Jane.

'I lost my virginity.'

Emily and Rebecca gasped. Their eyes sparkled.

'Jane!' breathed Emily, 'I am so happy for you!'

'Thank you, Emily,' smiled Jane, 'I picked the right person.'

'I remember when I lost my virginity,' smiled Emily, 'I found the one.'

'Who was it, Mamacita?' asked Romeo.

Emily smiled. She looked at Murphy.

'Murphy.'

'Murphy?' said Rocco.

'Yes, Murphy,' said Emily, 'I lost my virginity to him and he lost his to me.'

'Aww!' said Isabelle.

'Same with me and Connor,' smiled Rebecca, 'I gave him mine and he gave me his.'

'Aww…' smiled Angelica.

'I still remember our first time,' said Emily, 'he got frustrated.'

'Why?' asked Romeo.

'I kept wincing and saying I was in pain,' said Emily, 'I still remember what he said. Is it in? Does it feel okay? Whenever I said Ow he'd growl and say God dammit, Em…'

Murphy blushed. Connor sniggered.

'It took me a bit, but I got used to it,' said Emily, 'when he actually started to move it felt really good. It was like I was soaring.'

'Ye laughed like a fuckin' maniac after it was over,' said Murphy.

'I felt free and happy,' said Emily, 'that's why.'

'I'm glad I lost my virginity ta ye, Em,' smiled Murphy, kissing his wife on the forehead, 'I love ye, Baby Girl.'

'Aww…' said Isabelle.

'Hearin' 'er moan was the hottest part o' tha night,' said Murphy, 'as soon as I got 'er motor runnin' it was smooth sailin'.'

'She mocked you,' said Connor, 'mock her.'

Murphy looked at Emily. Emily raised her eyebrows.

'I gotta, love,' said Murphy.

'Okay,' said Emily, 'go ahead.'

Murphy cleared his throat. He did his best impression of Emily.

'Oh, Murphy…oh, Murphy…fuck, your cock feels good…God dammit, Murphy…fuck…'

'Alright!' said Emily, 'enough!'

Connor sniggered. Emily glared.

'Sorry,' said Connor, clearing his throat, 'that was a good impression.'

'Do you remember your first time with Connor, Rebecca?' asked Rocco.

'I do,' smiled Rebecca.

'Spill it!' said Isabelle, 'spill it!'

Rebecca smiled. She cleared her throat.

'It was a couple months after we started dating,' she said, 'he took me for a walk along the beach. We had a picnic and drove up to Make Out Point. We made out in the car for a bit, then he un-hooked my bra. That's when he told me he was ready for me, and that this was his first time. We had sex in the car. He tied me up, too.'

'You and yer fuckin' rope,' said Murphy.

'I knew he was the one,' said Rebecca, stroking Connor's cheek, 'he's my soul mate.'

'And yer mine,' smiled Connor.

'Aww…' said Angelica.

'And I found my soul mate with Murphy,' smiled Emily, 'my perfect husband.'

'And yer my soul mate an' perfect wife,' smiled Murphy.

'I know that Michael's my soul mate,' smiled Jane, 'he makes me happy.'

'Aww…' said Isabelle.

'You two were made for each other,' said Romeo.

'We were both social outcasts,' said Jane, 'I never had many friends growing up.'

'Neither did I,' said Michael.

'It was mostly for my looks and Dad,' said Jane, 'no one wanted to hang out with the Goth daughter of an FBI Agent.'

'Well, I think you're beautiful,' smiled Michael.

Jane smiled as Michael kissed her on the forehead.

'Rocco's my soul mate for sure,' smiled Isabelle, 'yeah, people don't think he's gorgeous or appealing in any way, but to me, it's his personality. He knows how to make people laugh.'

'I am the Funny Man,' laughed Rocco.

'I'm glad I married you, Rocco,' smiled Isabelle.

'Aww…' said Rocco, hugging Isabelle.

'I love seeing my cousins happy,' smiled Angelica, 'Connor, Murphy, thank you for saving them.'

'We couldn't let 'em go through that horror any longer,' said Connor, stroking Rebecca's hair, 'I love seein' me Becca-Bear healthy and happy.'

Rebecca smiled, snuggling into Connor's chest. Angelica smiled at her cousin.

'Well, I'm in the mood for a movie,' said Isabelle, 'let's go!'