Lollipops and Letters Chapter 21: Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You, an o.c. fanfic

A/N Song used is 'Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You' by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Okay, some things to say. First, read my story, Pencils. It has a spoiler in it for this story. I want to know if you guys can figure it out…some of you may have already done that. Also, I cannot do individual replies this time. My step mom's baby is due this week and things have been hectic. I will reply to you next time, I promise you that okay? Also, to answer your questions sail away, Marissa's background is that she lives with her mom after he dad leaves and her mom basically is the gold digging Julie that I love best. The real couple met at her school tennis courts. He was skipping class once again and she was playing tennis (pretty badly I must say) with her friend and she ended up hitting the ball and he caught it. She told him to give it back, he said to come get it. He told her he'd walk her home at the end of the day and he'd be waiting for when she got out of school. If you want to know more, I guess you'll have to be reviewer of the chapter again. Speaking of reviewer of the chapter, Ally, you are the winner. Okay, that's all I can remember right now, sorry if I missed any questions or anything. Also, I have a new policy…no posts until I have at least nine reviews. Got it? Good. Now R/R!

If there's one thing I hate about living in Newport, it's the charity events. Don't get me wrong, I think it's for a good cause, but I hate going to those parties. I usually spend them talking to Summer or some of my other 'friends' while all the adults laugh and talk amongst themselves, slowly drinking themselves drunk. Not to mention all of the gossip that gets thrown around that party like a baseball at the park. As I walk into the room where the party is being held, I suddenly remember what it was like at the beginning of the school year before Ryan. It wasn't only the charity events that I hated, but everything and everyone. I wonder when I suddenly dropped that hate, how it could diminish so quickly, how I could even notice it's absence. That's when I see him. Ryan. And suddenly the answer is clear.

I never lost that part of my heart that held all that hate. It's still full, even now…but with something different. I no longer carry around that hate, but instead it's filled with a strong love for Ryan Atwood. I smile and walk off towards him, ignoring my mom's protests that we need to stick together as a family for at least a few moments before I go with him. Ryan looks up after I take one step towards him, even though he's across the large ballroom and there are numerous loud conversations going on and music being played by a band that my mom and the other Newpsies hired. His eyes focus on me and me only like I'm the only person in this entire room, the whole world, hell, even the massive universe. His mouth curls into a small smile that makes my entire body react. My heart starts racing, my stomach gets all fluttery, my hands get jittery.

He takes a couple of long strides towards me, and then his arms are wrapped around me and he's kissing my lips softly, lightly, like a butterfly wing. When he pulls back, his eyes are shining and his arms stay snugly around me, keeping me safe from the world and all the dangers that live in it. "You look beautiful," He murmurs in my ear, sending shivers down my body.

"I missed you," I whisper, and he looks deeply into my eyes. I imagine that he sees something in me that I don't even see myself because even after all this time, I can't believe that he wants to be with me. His smile is gone, but I see the happiness radiating in his eyes. People say that he didn't used to talk, but he's always professing his love to me and lots of people too. The way he holds me even shows the way he feels for me; his arms wrapped around me, not wanting to let go.

"I kind of missed you too," He says, his voice strong yet so soft at the same time, just like he is. It reminds me of my old golden retriever. He was strong and muscled, yet soft to the touch. "Then again, I always want you with me." His eyes turn serious.

I look around and see that quite a few people are staring at us. I giggle a little and quietly say, "Ryan, let me go…people are looking." My eyes twinkle, and his grow teasing.

"Maybe I don't want to," he says, and then leans in and kisses me on the mouth once again. I try to pull back, but he's just too damn good a kisser for me to even want to. "This is much better than letting you go anyways, you have to admit," He mumbles against my lips.

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I smile and wrap my arms around his neck. "That may be true, but that doesn't make it right for us to make out in front of all the Newport Gossipers. I wouldn't be surprised if my mom is watching right now with this really big smile on her face…can you see her?" Ryan looks over my shoulder and snickers. "See what I mean? Maybe we should at least pretend to be dancing…"

He shakes his head and softly says, "Or we could really dance…" He pecks my lips softly, then we start to sway softly with the song that the band is playing. I let him hold me as we move to the music, burying my head in the crook of his neck. After the song is over, I try to pull away, figuring he wants to stop dancing, but he just pulls me closer to him. "I told you that I don't want to let go," He murmurs, and I look up at him and smile. My smile is rewarded with a small, light kiss.

"I don't get this," I say after a few moments, still dancing to the soft music with Ryan.

He looks at me questioningly, his eyes suddenly holding a trace of fear. I replay my words in my mind and suddenly understand what he must be thinking. "No…not us…I get us…well, not all the time…" I stumble over my words, and Ryan just gets more and more confused. I sigh and at least attempt to explain. "I mean, that I'm not having doubts about us right now, though sometimes this all seems way too surreal to be my life…" I see Ryan's worried gaze and reassure him by saying, "But a good kind of surreal." He stares at me, now amused by the way I'm having problems conveying what's on my mind and his lips lift into a smirk. "What I don't get is why you're dancing so freely with me when just about everyone at school says that whenever asked to dance, you say, 'I don't dance, so don't ever ask again,' and I didn't even have to ask you to dance this time…"

He dances silently with me for a moment, the smirk replaced by a crooked smile. Then he opens his mouth and in his usual deep voice says, "I guess I don't really care enough about people to dance with them. But it's different with you." He looks into my eyes, his own no longer amused, but full of love and life. "Besides, I like dancing with you. It gives me a reason to hold you close.." His smile returns in full force, making me lose my breath for just a moment.

I think about his words, then say, "I'm going to have to be completely honest with you then." He raises his eyebrows and I giggle slightly at his expression. "I um…well, remember on our first date how I wanted to dance?" His ocean blue eyes twinkle at the memory and he nods but doesn't speak. "Well…uh, well you see the story with that is…I didn't even know that song…"

"Even though you said, and I quote, 'I uh…really like this song?'" He asks amusedly, a smirk on his face once again.

I nod and he laughs a little bit. Deep down though I'm surprised and a little amazed at the way he can recall from memory what I said so easily. It makes me wonder what else he could tell me if I asked. What other conversations does he remember perfectly? I remember everything like it just happened, but I never in a million years expected Ryan to. "Well, you see…it was all Seth's idea."

"To tell me that you liked the song?" He asked, a strange expression on his face that causes me to giggle.

"No, to ask you to dance. He said that you don't dance with anyone and that if you danced with me, it would prove how much you love me…" I look into his eyes, smiling at him sweetly.

"And you needed proof?" He asked, his eyes still teasing, but also a little hurt.

"We hadn't even kissed yet…and though we were technically on a date, we weren't officially together yet…" I said quietly, defending myself. Ryan just continued to dance with me, our bodies still swaying to that surprisingly calming music. I put my head in the crook of his neck again, wondering if I had really hurt him or if it was just a fleeting feeling of doubt.

Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

"But you don't need anything to prove my love for you now right?" He asks, and I keep my head where it is, feeling safe and completely at ease.

I shake my head and softly kiss his neck before saying, "No, of course not. I think you've made it pretty obvious…I mean, everything that you've done points to it." I'm quiet, surprised by how much he's shown his feelings and how little I've really shown mine. Sure, I say I love him, and I kiss him a whole lot…but that doesn't measure up to telling your girlfriend's long lost father that you love her and will never let her get hurt, or being ready to kill her step-dad to be for raping her.

"Good, because if you don't know how I feel by now…" Ryan trails off, not finishing his thought. I feel his heart beat and wonder what he was really about to say. I shift a little in his arms, breaking him from his trance and he gets a bitter smile on his face. " Well, if you don't know how I feel about you by now…then I don't know what we're doing together. Because as much as it would hurt me to break up with you…it would hurt even more to know that you doubt me."

I pull my face from his neck abruptly and stare at him wide eyes. His eyes no longer look light and ocean-blue like they usually do…now they look twisted like a fierce hurricane. His bitterness is the wind and his hurt is the rain, both causing damage to my heart for making him even wonder if I knew how much he loved me. "Of course I know that you love me…and I love you too. I just….it was a long time ago, and a joke between me and Seth. So much has happened now between us…so much more is going to happen." My eyes start to water and in a shaky voice I whisper, "I won't lose you, not now…not ever."

"You promise?" He asks, his eyes still a hurricane. "Do you promise to stop doubting me…us? To stop all of this worry?" He shakes his head and gives me a choleric laugh. "Because I've got to admit, I'm getting kid of tired of it."

I nod and firmly say, "I promise."

His eyes stare at me for a moment, then he breaks out into a relaxed smile. My body relaxes in relief and he gently says, "Okay, now I have to be completely honest."

I raise my eyebrows at him and ask, "What did you lie…or stretch the truth about?"

He leans in, pressing his forehead against mine. "I could never break up with you…no matter what you do, no matter what happens between us…I just couldn't leave you. You belong to me, and I belong to you. That's never going to change." His eyes sparkle slyly.

"So you were just pulling an act with me there?" I ask, smiling at him, so glad that he wasn't really angry or anything with me.

He nods and says, "I know that you know how much I love you." He plants a delicate kiss on my mouth, then says, "And I know that you love me. I've always known. Even when you were trying to hide it…even when you didn't know it yourself…I could tell. It made chasing you so much easier to know that you would let me catch you in the end."

love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.

This song ends and I pull away from him, using all my strength in the process. He looks at me curiously and I say, "There is one small, tiny favor that I have to ask you…" I take his hand in mine and lace our fingers together.

"And what would that one small, tiny favor be?" He asks, looking a little worried. "It's nothing too, too bad is it? You're not going to make me wear a dress?"

I laugh loudly and ask, "Why would I make you wear a dress?"

He shrugs and says, "You remember Taylor?" I nod and he says, "Well…she had some weird fetishes…"

I shake my head and wince. "Ew, I so do not want to hear about your previous sexual activities with people…much less Taylor and her weird fetishes…"

It's his turn to laugh and relax. "Good, I'll be sure to remember that in the future." He pauses, then finally asks, "Okay, so what's the favor then?"

I drag him over to the far corner where I had spotted my father gaping at me and Ryan. "Well, you and my dad kind of got off to the wrong start this morning…"

"He was trying to take you away," Ryan grumbled, a play pout on his face. I couldn't help myself, he looked so adorable. He deserved a kiss. After I peck his lips, he smiles.

"I'm not blaming either of you…I just know that you guys need to get off to a better start. You're my boyfriend who I love and he's my father…I think that there should be some kind of bond there. I don't want to pick and choose who I spend time with," I say, pulling him closer to my father.

"Okay, fine. But we both know that you'd choose me to spend all your time with right?" He asks, so innocently.

I laugh and look at him. "Okay…maybe."

He smiles and say, "I knew it. You can't resist me."

I shake my head and put my free hand on the side of his face. "No, you're right…you're still way too cute."

"I am not cute," He says, frowning at me. "Atwoods aren't cute."

"Fine then…sexy?" I ask, and he stares at me wide eyed that I'd say that.

"Sexy works…" He says, pulling at his collar as if it's getting hot in here.

I just laugh and roll my eyes, pulling him the rest of the way to my dad. My dad looks at me, then at Ryan and frowns. "Dad, this is Ryan Atwood, my boyfriend…and Ryan…this is Jimmy Cooper, my father." I look between the two. Ryan is at least attempting to be nice, smiling at my dad, and my dad is well…still frowning.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Cooper…and I'm sorry about this morning. I get a little overprotective when it comes to your daughter," Ryan says politely, sticking out his hand for my dad to shake.

My dad nods and says, "Well, you weren't the only one that was rude this morning." He gives Ryan a small smile and shakes his hand. "And by the way, you can call me Jimmy. Mr. Cooper makes me sound old."

I laugh and say, "So…I'll let you two talk?" I give Ryan a wink and he shrugs and talks to me with his eyes, saying that he'll be civil and try.

My dad nods and says, "Yes, I think that's a good idea."

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Ryan and my dad have a rather amusing talk throughout the night, neither noticing where the time went. I watched from the chair that I was sitting at from the next table over with the Cohens who were also watching Ryan and my dad's interaction curiously. My dad talked about me when I was smaller, and Ryan talked about me now…how we met, how we go to the beach and hang out. Then the whole topic about the army came up and my dad was impressed when Ryan spoke about going instead of me telling him because he saw how Ryan seemed to talk like a man, not a teenage boy.

Afterwards, I went home with Ryan. He drove me to my house to get changed, and my dad said it was okay for me to stay over at his house…as long as nothing happened and we were careful. Then I had to sit through a rather embarrassing lecture with Ryan about how using protection is always the key…I think you get the point. Anyways, after the very scary conversation, Ryan was very amused and I was very disturbed. We went to the pool house and that is where we are now.

"So you and my dad were getting along really, really well.." I say, walking over to Ryan who is sitting on the bed. I sit down on his lap and he smiles at me. I lean in and kiss him softly, then pull away. "I think you deserve a treat for that."

"A treat…really?" Ryan asks, looking at me, his eyes darkening a little bit from the obvious desire.

I nod and lean in to kiss him again, this time sliding my tongue into his mouth. Ryan seems surprised by my forwardness, but then wraps his arms around me and kisses back just as deeply as me. I'm still new to the kissing with tongue thing, but I must say…Ryan is quite the expert in this area. As he's doing his magic with the kissing, I pull his tie so that it gets looser, then pull my mouth away from his and pull it over his head. He leans me down on the bed, and hovers over me, smiling down at me and connecting our lips once again. I quickly strip him of his jacket and start to unbutton his dress shirt. Soon that joins his jacket on the floor and I can enjoy the kissing without feeling that Ryan is too over dressed for the occasion.

I rake my hands fingers through his thick blonde hair, soft to the touch, and he moans into my mouth on numerous occasions. His lips trail from my lips, and to my jaw bone, down to my neck. He nibbles a little on some parts, especially my pulse point which he soon finds out is my really sensitive spot. My whole body feels like it's on fire, even in areas that I haven't felt this way before. The thought of sex with Ryan has briefly crossed my mind before, but not to the point that I actually imagine the taking off of clothes and the actual sex part. And even though the thought of it is scary, it isn't as scary as it used to be.

"I love you," Ryan says after a long, passionate make out session that I have to admit, left me a little hot…if you know what I mean.

I'm surprised by the feelings he evoked in me, and just cuddle up next to him. "I love you too," I whisper, wondering where my growing feelings and desires are going to lead to.

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay..