Author's note: I added in some things that I didn't realize weren't in the last chapter. I'm not sure how, but a rather pivotal couple of sentences got deleted and I had to go back and add it in. Make sure you go back and read that before you read this chapter if you read it before this one was posted!

Winter, 1962

The floor was cold, though it didn't bother my bare feet as I padded through to the other side of the dark house to Edward's room. I couldn't tell Jasper what I had seen. Without bothering to knock, I opened the door to his room and stood in the doorway, staring at him silently. I didn't need to say anything. He had seen right along with me, even if I had been busy and more than a few rooms away in this monstrous house. He stared back at me differently than I him, looking at me as if I were a ghost.

Then he just shook his head slightly and grimaced at me. "I won't let it happen." He stated bitterly. He seemed in more shock than I was, if that were even possible. I stepped a few feet forward and sat down next to him on the edge of the only couch in the room.

"I've already run through as many scenarios as I can by just changing my mind. Nothing stops it…some of them just makes it worse. I get you killed, or Jasper, or Rosalie, or all of you."

His fists clenched into the edge of the couch and I watched as the leather tore beneath his fingers. He was obviously trying very hard to keep his temper. "It isn't happening." He restated forcefully. "I'll hide you in Antarctica if that is what's necessary. I don't care if they do kill me, but they aren't taking you."

His big eyes settled on my face and I felt awkward...like I was doing something wrong or betraying Jasper somehow just being in here, but I knew that was silly. It was strange though, like he was trying to tell me something with just his eyes. I noticed his t-shirt and pants and thought briefly about trying to lighten things up by commenting on his lack of style or ability to match before his hand caught onto mine and he made a disapproving face.

"Edward, why would they even want me? My visions must be like parlor tricks to them. I thought that everyone in the guard was there voluntarily."

"Don't underestimate how valuable you are. If they could use you to see the future…to see the outcome of every battle before they fight it…"

"They want you too. They want-" My words spilled out like a glass of knocked over milk…messy and sour and too hard to clean.

"I don't care what they want. We'll talk to Carlisle, maybe he can get us out of this mess somehow. The Volturi have a lot of respect for him."

"Don't you pay any attention?" I asked, feeling slightly panicked. "I already thought of that."

"And?"

I looked to the floor, not wanting to meet his eyes. "We all fight and Japer…doesn't make it. Neither does Emmett. I thought about running off with Jasper, but they end up killing him if I do that and if run off alone he still dies and then you do too."

"Why now?" Edward asks, more to himself than to me. "You and Jasper have been with us for a dozen years. It was Caius in your…OH MY GOD." Abruptly standing up and darting, he still managed to yell a hurried "stay here!" before leaving the room.

I barely had time to even wonder what was going on before I go the very unpleasant vision of Edward walking, or rather, running in on Carlisle and Esme going at it with each other in their room. I was positive that I would have gagged if I were still human. Edward didn't even make it funny with all the disgusted faces and apologizes that he normally would. In my vision, he barley even seemed to notice and certainly didn't seem to care. For once, I wished I was the mind reader so I could finally know what was actually going on around here. I wasn't stupid. I knew they hid things…especially Edward and I knew that whatever it was they hid, they hid more from me than anyone else.

I didn't bother trying to follow Edward; they would only stop talking if I did. They wouldn't explain anything. I slowly paced back to Jasper and made up some stupid excuse for leaving before finding other ways to get my mind off of things with him. Thankfully, he didn't probe too hard.

Nothing anyone came up with worked. It was two days later. Apparently the Volturi had planned ahead to deal with someone like me because they seemed to have every scenario covered. Edward was upset at me for some reason again. He hadn't come near me since I talked to him in his room. There was no way out, no way my family wouldn't suffer because of me…except for one. I would have to leave them, not to run off, but to go and give myself up to the Volturi…and I would have to do it now.

Jasper wouldn't take his eyes off of me. I had to lose him while we were hunting. It was a terrible thing for me to do…to lie and not say goodbye, but I didn't have a choice if I wanted to keep everyone alive. I had no idea why this was happening, but I knew that it was somehow because of me. It was all coming so fast. I tried not to think of never seeing Jasper again, of never seeing my family again, of never seeing Edward again. The thought was more painful than death. I continued running through the woods to meet them. The rest of the family didn't know, but the Volturi were already on the continent. If I kept running and managed to leave with them before any of them caught up with us maybe no one else would be hurt.

I kept running…running until I didn't even have the faintest clue at all where I was even, except that I was getting closer to the Volturi. It had to be that way- that even I didn't know where I was so that Edward couldn't follow me and get hurt. By this time I was sure everyone knew. Jasper wouldn't waste much time in the woods before looking for me and Edward always knew what I was thinking, so he probably had a much quicker head start than the others, though I received no visions of his future, indicating that he hadn't decided what to do yet.

I wasn't sure what they would do with me when I got to them, they didn't know I was coming so no decision could be made for me to see. I only knew that doing this meant losing everything I loved to keep my family alive. Would I be alone in Voltaire forever? Would I ever see my family again? My husband again? Edward again? It was funny that amidst thinking of all I was losing Edward simply wouldn't leave my mind. Jasper was…my life. I loved him so much and he is was wonderful husband. My heart was breaking at the thought of never seeing him again. But there was something stranger tugging at my insides about being away from Edward that was almost physically painful. This whole thing…being dragged away, the Volturi, this picture in my mind of Edward…I kept getting the strangest sense of déjà vu. I couldn't shake it, although there were so many other things that were more important. Why was it that when I was about to lose my husband, probably forever, all I could think of was my brother? I loved Jasper. There was no question about how much I loved Jasper. Something must be wrong with me.

The snow I am running through was getting deeper…it was already almost to my knees and I hated how it slowed me down. I decided to eat on the way…I didn't want the Volturi getting any ideas of me eating with them. Quickly, I caught a deer and ate it, knowing that I wasn't very far away at all now. I could even hear them in the distance…through the trees. Blood from the deer dripped onto the snow, staining its purity and I looked to see it run to the dirt ahead of me near the river bank. Caius stood watching me from the tree line in the distance. His blonde white hair blew in the freezing wind and I couldn't help to look down again to the blood droplets I had shed in the snow. Something wasn't right. It was happening again. I heard a voice yelling my name from a distance behind me and I knew it was happening over. The blood in the snow wasn't the deer's anymore, but mine dripping onto the dirt of this same forest 41 years ago.

Caius was angry at the other vampire for biting me. He had wanted to bring me back to Voltaire to be changed. They knew about my gift. I wasn't sure how. It was when they were arguing that I crawled into the river from the muddy bank I laid on. I thought that I would drown. Caius fought and killed the other vampire. He tore off his head and saw him throw it somewhere. He was too busy to realize what I was doing. But I knew I had to get away. The water floated me about a mile before an undercurrent leading to English Bay caught hold of me. The freezing water incased me and drug me down to the bottom. There was no air to breathe and my lungs filled with the bloody water all around me. I could see nothing. Everything was dark and I…I died. I actually died before the venom had enough time to really change me. I stayed down there, in the bottom of the bay, until the current washed me up. How long was it that I stayed under? Hours? Days? Weeks? I can't remember because I was dead under there. Alone and frozen and dead.

The sun felt warm against my cold, wet skin. Sand and sea weed was all over me. The transformation wasn't totally complete and every inch of my body hurt as if it were on fire. I looked like a corpse…a body washed to shore twinkling in the sun and someone was bent over me, checking the pulse on my neck. The first instinct that came to me was to bite. I didn't know. God, I didn't know…and then I ran into the forest. That was the first thing I could always remember…the lonely forest. What was I? Was I alive, in purgatory, or in hell? What was my name? Was I human? My head throbbed at my first vision of a man sitting in a diner and I fell to my knees and covered my head…trying to hide from it. What were these pictures? What- what…

The man was still screaming for me was outside of my head and I wanted to answer him, I wanted to wake up. But I couldn't and memory after memory flooded my mind as if whatever damn that had been holding them back was broken and I couldn't breathe for all of them pouring over top of me. It felt as if I were drowning again, except in memories inside my mind instead of in the river. It was as if I were locked inside it and I couldn't come out to answer the voice…to answer Jasper, although his cry was desperate. More voices came around me soon. Jasper held my body, but I couldn't make it respond to him. I couldn't move and then I fell back into the deep, soft snow that still smelled of blood and smoke.