Hey all!

I know it's been such a long time, and I'm so sorry.

Gosh, time has gone so quickly. I hope you all are well!

And so sorry for this long and overdue update to the story. If you're still interested, I'll update weekly again until it reaches its conclusion. I won't leave it long again!

Chapter Twenty-One

Bella POV

It's weird; When I get home from school, hefting my heavy textbooks in my arms, I hear loud music pumping out of Edward's room from his stereo. It floats all throughout the house, making the window frames tremble. Edward's clearly home, and he's clearly not alone.

Closing the door carefully behind me, I bite down on my lip as I tiptoe through the hallway, trying to find him. And, surely enough, there he is, in the living room. My first suspicions are in fact confirmed correct, once I see the woman sitting on the couch with him. The pair of them look as if they have been up to no good; Their clothes are wrinkled and they both look equally as flushed as one another. Edward's hair is unkempt and messy and so is hers, like they've been rolling around in bed all day. Considering how dopey-eyed and giddy the woman looks as she whispers something in Edward's ear, I figure it must be true. One of his arms is slung around her shoulders casually and he laughs at whatever it was that she had whispered to him.

The music from the stereo is so loud I can hardly hear what they are talking about at all. And really, I probably didn't even want to know.

They don't even turn to look at me as I stand there in the entryway, staring at them. It's as if I truly don't exist. Giving up as soon as I try to capture their attention, I turn around and clomp my way upstairs, heading straight up to my room. I dump all my textbooks into the middle of my bed, stow my bag away under my bed, and rush into Edward's bedroom to turn the music down quickly.

Heading into his bedroom, first thing I take notice of is the crumpled and unmade bed, the pillows on the floor. A bra's on the floor- probably belonging to the blonde-haired woman he's currently snuggling up to downstairs. Turning down the music a decent notch, I head back downstairs, taking it two steps at a time.

And, finally, I've gotten their attention. The two both look my way as I enter the living room. Edward quickly removes his arm from around her shoulder and sits up slightly, seperating himself from her on the couch. What for, I have no idea.

The woman is the first to speak. "Oh, hey," she says, rather awkwardly. She shakes the strands of her peroxide blonde hair out of her eyes. "We didn't hear you get in."

"That's understandable. I mean, the music was pretty loud, wasn't it?" The woman has an air of familiarity to me, for some reason. I don't think I've ever truly met her before, but she somehow strikes me as very familiar. It's only when she climbs off the sofa and stands, that I think I realize.

Oh, of course. She's that same woman Edward brought home one late night when drunk. She's super tall and since she's just wearing one of Edward's flannel shirts that hangs just below her thighs, it accentuates those toned and slender, pale legs. That same enviousness I felt apon seeing her the first time hits me again. I'm not necessarily sure why I feel so jealous of her, but I'm presuming it has to do with how good she looks, like a Russian model of some sort. That's purely it.

"You must be the infamous Bella, huh?" she says, with something there in her tone.

She looks back at Edward from where he sits on the couch and, automatically, I do too, following her gaze. Edward isn't looking at either of us; In fact, he's sitting up, elbows on his knees, hands folded and resting near his face. He's staring at a spot on the ground, almost like he wishes he'd magically disappear from this situation altogether. I think he looks vaguely embarrassed by this whole thing. Then again, I can't be too sure.

"Anyway. Um, I'm Tanya," the woman goes on, stepping closer and extending a hand out towards me. This evidently must feel as awkward on her as it is for me. Forcing a smile, I shake her hand. "I know it's probably weird; You coming home and finding me here like this."

I don't know where she got that idea from. It isn't weird at all. If anything, I'm glad Edward has company with him, even of the female kind. "No, no weirdness at all," I assure her. "If anything, I'm real glad."

"Oh, well. That's good to hear." She laughs, stunning me by the sound of it. Her laughter is hard not to like, but at the same time, it is immediately grating. Her laugh sure doesn't suit her looks; Her laughter is high-pitched, and while infectious, I can't help but be reminded of a hyena.

I throw a look Edward's way again, and I see his eyes close briefly, as if he himself knows the sound of her laughter is horrific. Due to it, I can't help laughing along with her weakly.

Tanya ends up staying for dinner. She manages to convince us into letting her cook us a meal so I stick around, helping out with knowing where everything is in the kitchen. Sometimes I'll catch her looking at me in a funny way, like she's envious of me in return or something strange like that. What reason she'd have to be envious of me, I have no idea. Edward eventually excuses himself from us to go take a shower and, honestly, I'm thankful for a moment alone with her. I want to know what is happening between her and Edward- whether it be any of my business or not. I guess I just want to make sure he is going to be okay.

"So," Tanya starts casually while tossing around some sizzling onions in the frying pan.

"So?"

"So, Bella. I hear you're in your final year of high school? How's that going for you?"

"Yeah, alright. Nerve-wracking, though."

"Oh, I bet it would be. You got any idea where you're planning to go for college? You started applying for anything as yet?"

"Not yet. I'm kind of still... undecided. It's a big decision." It's nice having someone different to talk to, even though I don't quite know where it is that we stand. Or what she's doing hanging around Edward, no less. "Where did you go for college?"

"I didn't," she says distractedly, adding some veggies into the pan. She insisted on making us a chicken stirfry, her supposed specialty. Already, it smells super good. "I wasn't very good at the whole school thing. In fact, I was so eager for it to end." She laughs her hyena laugh again. "I'm currently waitressing full-time. The pays pretty decent and you get a lot of cute customers in, so that's the main thing. The cuter the guys are, the more willing they are to give you bigger tips, I've found." At this, she turns and winks at me, like we're two close friends sharing an inside joke.

"Is that how you and Edward met initially?"

"Oh, no. We met at a nightclub on my day off. Then he came back to where I work, and he suggested we head out to dinner. Honestly, I was suprised he wanted anything to do with me again. He didn't seem much... into me before." I grab the chicken breast we have in the fridge and help her with slicing it up finely. When I hand them over to her on the chopping board, I see her give me that look again. "Fuck, I'm starving. Well, I don't know about Edward, but... I am. You hungry?"

"Yeah." I watch as she pushes all the chicken into the pan. I can't help myself from asking, so I just do. "What do you think of him? Of Edward, I mean? Do you like him?"

"Well, he's hot, of course he is." She says it like a guy's hotness is the most important thing. "He seems pretty... lonely and in himself though. What's all that about?"

"In himself" would be the last thing I'd describe Edward as. I'm surprised she thinks that, though. "I don't know," I say hesitantly. "I suppose it's been pretty tough. Our parents died pretty recently."

"Oh, yeah. Edward told me briefly about it. Both my parents are still alive. I can only just imagine how it must feel, how much it must fuck you up..." Tanya clearly loves the sound of her voice. As if realizing she's somehow being rude, she gasps and gives me an apologetic look. "Sorry. God, sometimes I don't think before I speak. Of course it'd be hard. How are you coping?"

"I'm alright," I answer shortly. I don't see how she can really care, either way.

"Um, I feel like I should probably tell you. Edward kind of maybe asked me to be his girlfriend," she says reluctantly, like she's worried I'd mind. And I don't.

Well, okay, I kind of do. After all that we've been through, I want Edward to be with someone who truly makes him happy. Judging by his reaction when she laughed before, I'd say he already can't stand the sound of it. I can't help feeling a little shocked that Edward actually asked her to be his girlfriend. I know my mouth is hanging open and my heart stops for a single second over the announcement before the feeling fades just as quickly. Tanya is watching my face carefully, waiting for me to say my piece. I cover up whatever it is I'm feeling by wiping my hands on a tea-towel quickly, despite my hands being clean anyway.

"Is that okay with you? I... I don't know what's going between you two, but I- I hope that-"

"Please, there is nothing going on between Edward and I," I tell her quickly, wanting to make it perfectly clear on her. "There is nothing at all. And I'm glad. I know Edward has been... upset over our parents. I think it's great that he's finally decided to date someone. So long as you're going to make him happy?"

"Well, I know I really like him. He's... complicated and hard to get through to, but I like him enough. He seems a decent guy. But I also do know that he is pretty intense about you, which is kind of... weird? Do you know how he feels about you? Apparently, in his eyes, when it comes to you, no one can hold a candle to you." I feel ill at her words. Does she know? Did Edward somehow speak to her about me? Really, I can't believe why he would. Or, no less, why she'd stick around, if she even began to know the half of the story.

I have to look away from her. I have to avoid her eyes completely.

"Yeah, he's always been pretty... intense about me. I know, trust me." Intense seems such an understatement. "But this is really what he needs. He needs someone like you. Someone to... make him happy and keep his mind off other things. He needs someone to love him. I'm sincerely so pleased for you both." As if right on cue, Edward returns from his long shower, his hair dripping wet and combed back. I can't be sure if he knows what we're talking about, but its obvious he notices how quiet the two of us have gotten now that he has returned back into the room. He looks between us, his eyes lingering on my face.

"Are you two getting along well? Any cat-fights yet?"

It's funny; It's like he is almost pretending to be a different person in front of Tanya, almost. Like a completely normal, cheerful type of person. One that isn't so fixated on me.

Tanya laughs and Edward winces at the sound. He definitely isn't a fan of her laugh, I can tell.

"Actually, I just got the okay from Bella. I think it's safe to say we're in the clear. I told you that you were worrying over nothing. See?"

I see Edward raise his eyebrows at her back, and he pinches the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. I know him well enough now to know he isn't pleased that she's told me. "You told her?" He's concealing how he's feeling well, considering. "You told Bella?"

"Yeah." Tanya shrugs, her back still facing us. "I thought I'd just go and get it over with. I thought you'd be cool with that? Are you?"

"Yeah, it's... fine. Whatever."

I can tell it totally isn't, judging by his expression. But Tanya obviously can't notice that.

Once dinner is prepared, the three of us sit at the table, and I feel oddly enough as if I'm the third wheel here. Tanya laughs constantly and tries to engage in light-hearted conversation with Edward, trying to get him to open up and flirt with her, but he clearly isn't having that. No, he seems sullen and moody all throughout dinner, pushing his pieces of chicken around on his plate. I, for one, happen to find her stirfry really delicious. I polish mine off completely, and Tanya seems pleased by that. I'm still not entirely sure what to make of her; She's definitely not what either Edward or I am used to. She's loud, constantly making conversations, and her laughter is permanent and always there, lingering in the air between us like a bad smell. But maybe she is exactly what Edward needs? Someone completely opposite than the type of personality he has? I don't know.

He makes it clear on us that he's still stewing over Tanya telling me when he gets up from his seat, heads over to the sink, and loudly drops his plate and cutlery in so that it makes a big noise. Then he briskly leaves the room without so much as another word and, to my astonishment, while I feel rather nervous over it and tense, Tanya just laughs and brushes it off carefreely.

"Someone's in a bad mood, huh? Wonder what's crawled up his ass all of a sudden?"

"No idea," I tell her, shrugging it off. But I think I do know.

And, suddenly, I find myself concerned about Tanya. I hope Edward won't go too hard on her once she's upstairs alone with him. I wonder if I should warn her, but that option is blown out of the window when she puts her dish in the sink, tells me goodnight and that it was nice meeting me, and off she goes, upstairs, possibly inviting herself into a storm of Edward's moodswings.

Hopping up, I tuck all chairs in neatly and start washing up the dishes and cutlery, all the while trying to listen carefully for any shouting or horrible noises from upstairs. To my relief, none come, so I assume everything is alright with Edward now.

When I heard upstairs towards my room, I see that his rooms door is completely closed. I go into my room, get changed into my sleep pants and a baggy top, but I don't feel like sleeping at all. I feel too nervous and... ill with worry somehow. So instead, I try to distract myself with reading for awhile, wrapped up in my blankets. By the time one o'clock comes in the morning, I'm still wired and buzzing. And thirsty. Thirsty as hell.

Pulling on some socks, I sneak out of my room and head downstairs as quietly as possible, fearing waking both Tanya and Edward up. I get into the dark kitchen, pull a glass out from the cupboard, and pour myself a long glass of water. I'm just halfway through it when I hear the scuffling sound of someone's feet coming down the stairs and I freeze against the sink.

The kitchen light turns on suddenly, blinding me, and then Edward's there, standing stock-still, blinking at me. He's half asleep, his bluish-green eyes heavy-lidded. His shirt is unbuttoned, hanging loosely off his chest, and he's only wearing his boxers. Clearly we both decided to come down at the wrong time. I force myself to look away, blinking down at my socks awkwardly. He says nothing; Just moves around the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water himself. I guess we both ended up being pretty thirsty then. I hear him swallowing down his water loudly, and then he reaches over me again to fill himself another glass.

"Can't sleep?" he finally speaks, his voice throaty.

"No. I don't even feel tired, for some reason."

"Yeah, well. You and me both then." I peer at the contents inside my glass so I don't have to look at him, when he turns and leans near me with his back against the sink. "What do you think of her?"

I fail, glacing up at his face in confusion. "Think of who?"

"Who do you think?" He gives me a slight smile before he gulps down the last of his second drink of water. He rolls his eyes. "Tanya, of course."

"I haven't really made up any opinion of her yet. The stirfry she made was really good, though."

"What do you think of her laugh?" Edward shakes his head at me, something mocking in his expression. "Jesus. Isn't her laugh enough to drive you fucking nuts? At least she doesn't laugh in her sleep. Thank God for that, otherwise I'd be seriously tempted to snuff her out with a pillow."

Despite myself, I can't help laughing. "Oh, come on. It isn't that bad. I think she's actually quite lovely. I think she's nice."

He chokes out a small laugh, raising his eyebrows at me, as if to say, You think she's nice? Yeah, right!

I don't understand why he wants to know my opinion of her so much. What should it matter, what I think of her? Shouldn't he be more concerned with himself, and whether he truly likes her or not, enough to start seriously having her as his girlfriend?

"Do you like her? Are you happy to have her as your girlfriend?"

Something flickers across his face, but I'm not sure what. I might be mistaken, but this is obviously one question he isn't happy with me asking. He sets his empty glass down in the sink and runs his hands through his hair, sighing loudly. He seems uncomfortable and he takes a long minute to answer, licking his lips and staring at my face thoughtfully. "I don't know." He shrugs. "What does it matter, whether I like her or not?"

"What do you mean, what does it matter?" I laugh out loud, bewildered. "It means everything. After all, you're the one asking her to be your girlfriend, right? You're the one that is going to be spending most of your time with her. You have to like her, especially since you asked her to be your girlfriend, right?" Without thinking what I'm doing, I nudge him gently with my shoulder, laughing again. "Clearly you do like her."

"With a laugh like that? I don't even know if I can even stand another fucking minute surrounded by that laugh! I mean, could you?"

It feels wrong, meeting up and talking about her like this. It's sort of mean to her; To make fun of Tanya's laugh, and to talk about her behind her back. But it's true. "If you truly can't stand her that much, like you say you do, then... why get with her in the first place?" The instance that question flings out of my mouth, I come to a sudden understanding.

I had told Edward to move on. That I wanted him to be happy, to find a girl who would actually love him for him. Who could. Is that why he did this? Just because I said all of that? Because I've been saying that over and over constantly lately? That I wish he'd find someone? No. I don't want to think that's it. I want it to be because Edward feels he's ready, that he came to that decision all by himself. He's ready to let me go, to move on, like it should be.

Because he truly is interested in Tanya. Not because of something I said or did.

"I mean, you do actually like her, don't you, Edward? You're not just... tagging her along for the sake of it, are you? Because if you are, then it's a big dickhead move. You know that, right?"

"Of course I know that." We're both leaning against the kitchen counter, leaning on each other, our shoulders touching. "And I do like her. She has her... moments." Edward looks me straight in the eye, so I can do nothing but believe him on this. "She's... bubbly and happy. It's just her laugh that bugs me the most. She laughs every five fucking minutes. That can't be normal, right?" It's maybe not normal, not for us. I guess we equally don't laugh very much. He sighs loudly through his nostrils and closes his eyes, rubbing his lids with his fingers. Suddenly he appears exhausted. Pale, in the light. So exhausted and drained by everything. "I mean, she's nice. I know that without a doubt. But she's... she's not..." He opens his eyes and hesitates, folding his arms over his chest tightly. His jaw clenches and twitches. I can tell he is really struggling to get the words out right. "I don't know." He looks at me again, suddenly helpless. "She's just not... someone."

I arch my eyebrows at him. "Someone? Meaning- what?"

Edward laughs again. "I don't know. She's just not... someone."

There's something in the air, some sadness with where our conversation has turned to. I don't quite understand the source of it, but I'm eager to brush it off. "Well, anyway. I'm pleased for you. I just... I guess I want you to be happy. And for... everything to be good between us. Just like... how it should be."

"I'm getting there." He nods once, bowing his head, looking at his forearms. "I think I'm... getting there. Slowly. I mean, I'm trying. Trying to be... better."

I smile at him weakly. "Then I'm glad." I nudge him again with my shoulder and finally, he smiles a little. Sort-of mission accomplished. Then I spot the time on the stove, and push myself off the counter. "Crap. I better try to get some sleep otherwise I'll end up falling asleep during class tomorrow."

I lean in to kiss Edward on his cheek, to say goodnight, to reassure him that I care. But then it's sort of timed wrong, he moves his head to look at me with something shining there in his eyes, and I end up kissing him accidently on the mouth. I gasp and quickly move back, Edward leans off the counter towards me, eyes on my lips heatedly, and then it's so awkward. Pressing my lips together, I duck my head as I race out of the kitchen and back up the stairs to my room quickly.

Hope you enjoyed this and are still interested in the story?

I'm so sorry. Goodness me, I couldn't remember my password so it was so frustrating not being able to log on and update. I've been stuck busy in RL too, so I'm sorry! Hoping you all had a fantastic Christmas and are into an exciting New Year. Thank you all so much for the alerts and reviews I've received, it means a lot, particularly when this story is a bit freaky and Edward very psychologically disturbed. Rereading my own story was a weird experience but hopefully all the craziness will be toned down quite a bit, and Edward will gradually get past his mental issues and calm down for Bella (with Tanya a somewhat inspiring influence on that). Thank you so much, and hopefully I'll update in another week.