Disclaimers apply as usual.
A/N: Here's the next chappie. No one has looked over this so any mistakes are mine and I apologize, I really just want to get this story going again because I was struck with an original idea that I'm anxious to get written. Hope you enjoy and as always please leave a review if you can!
Kathryn was only half heartedly listening to Neelix lecture her on her eating habits. She tried to tell him that sometimes she just got too busy to eat, but he insisted that he was only a call away and he'd bring her a tray. She just gave in and let him load up her tray with food she had no idea about. It wasn't until they came to the end and she saw the cucumber sandwiches that she felt a pit forming in her stomach. She had seen those same things, in the same arrangement, on the holodeck that morning, in her holonovel. She picked one up. "Where did these come from?"
"Lieutenant Hargrove asked for them," Neelix replied seeing the distressed look on her face. "Is something wrong?"
"No, just a funny coincidence," she replied placing the sandwich back onto the tray. "Something I saw on the holodeck today." She shook it off and followed Neelix, who was getting a mug for her to pour her a cup of tea. "Thank you, Neelix, this all looks delicious."
The cook was handing her tea in a china cup, one covered in flowers that had been the same one that Beatrice had shattered in the holonovel that morning. Could that be coincidence as well? Kathryn couldn't shake the odd feeling. "Where…did you get that cup?"
Neelix handed the tea to her. "I'm not sure really, I think I found several of them in storage. Unusual isn't it?" He watched as she turned the saucer over in her hand. "Captain, is everything alright?"
Kathryn took a deep breath and tried to smile. "Perfectly alright, Neelix; I just have to remind myself that coincidences do happen."
"Excuse me, Captain," Sarah's voice interrupted the conversation.
"Oh good, Commander Chakotay sent you down here like I asked," Kathryn said placing her tea cup down onto the counter.
The young woman looked perplexed. Her blue eyes darted from Kathryn's face and back to Neelix's face. "I'm sorry. Who is Commander Chakotay? I'm looking for Commander Fletcher."
Fletcher, Fletcher, that name sounds familiar, Kathryn thought as she tried to gain some composure. How did Sarah not recall who Chakotay was? And then she remembered that Chakotay had sent her to sickbay. He had been concerned that she was ill. It was apparently much worse than he had let on if she didn't recall him. "Sarah, Commander Fletcher isn't on Voyager. He's in the Alpha Quadrant. Maybe we should get you back to sickbay."
She tried to put her arm around Sarah but the young woman flinched and jumped back slightly. "Captain, I'm…I'm not sure I know what you're talking about. I've never heard of ship called Voyager and Commander Fletcher asked me to meet him here, in order to go over my latest report. It's just…I can't seem to find him."
"Sarah, do you know who I am?"
Her eyes began to nervously shift about the room, obviously not recognizing anyone. "You know me, how?"
"Do you know me?" Kathryn repeated, harshly.
"I don't know any of you! I'm looking for Commander Fletcher!"
By now Kathryn could see the crew in the mess hall looking at their counselor with severe interest. The Captain knew she had to get the young woman out of the room but Sarah wasn't letting her touch her and she hated to have to call security. That would only make matters worse. Already Kathryn could tell that Sarah was trying to find an escape route, whether she would slip out the door she came or try to run across the room to the other doors if all else failed. Suddenly Kes appeared in the doorway behind Sarah. "Lieutenant Barrett you need to return to sickbay," the Ocampa said calmly.
Kathryn saw her coming and threw her arms out, stopping Sarah from escaping out the other doors. The young woman screamed at the top of her lungs and the Captain and Neelix tried to subdue her. Kathryn managed to wiggle a free hand out and slap her combadge, "Janeway to Tuvok! I need you in the mess hall immediately!"
When Tuvok arrived he found Kathryn and Neelix barely holding onto to Sarah who was thrashing about and screaming. The Captain and Neelix let go, allowing Tuvok and his security detail to grab a hold of Sarah and drag her out of the room. Kathryn straightened her uniform and smoothed her hair back down. Dear God, she thought, what the hell was that? "Neelix, perhaps we should continue with our meeting? That is, until the Doctor briefs me on Lieutenant Barrett's condition."
Neelix mutely nodded his head and four hours later, when Kathryn decided that it was time to head back to the school room to collect the children, she still hadn't gotten an update from the Doctor; maybe after she put the kids to bed she'd give him a call. Maybe he just didn't have anything to report.
"Tom said we could start building a model of a bomber," Michael chirped happily besides her as they walked.
"Sounds like it will be fun," Kathryn replied half heartedly. Her mind was still running over the events in the mess hall. "When do you start?"
"I wanted to start tomorrow but Tom told me to ask Sarah first," Michael mumbled. "I don't think Sarah is feeling well lately."
You're telling me, Kathryn thought as they walked along. Of course, thankfully, the children had not had lunch with her like they normally did, thus they hadn't been witness to the scene in the mess hall earlier that afternoon. Kathryn was happy that she didn't have to explain what had happened in the mess hall either. It seemed for the time being that Michael had not heard the story, which Kathryn was sure had spread throughout the ship like wildfire once Sarah had been dragged back to sickbay. Hopefully by this time tomorrow when they were returning to their quarters for dinner she would have the answers to tell him. Right now, she was as confused as ever. Sarah had shown no signs of being ill, and yet, Michael had just mentioned he didn't think Sarah was feeling well. "Honey, why did you say Sarah isn't feeling well lately?"
"She's been talking to herself a lot."
"I talk to myself too, working through things."
"Yeah, but Mama, she was talking to Tuvok and he wasn't in the room."
Was it coincidence that Sarah was hallucinating and Kathryn was seeing things from her holodeck program? I can't help myself, I've fallen in love with you. She heard the voice and froze in her place. Kathryn spun about only to see Ayala step into the lift behind them, barely aware that the family was standing near by. Kathryn shook her head and kept walking. Of course she was replaying the last scene from the holonovel in her head, she had just been thinking about the cucumber sandwiches and the tea cup in the mess hall earlier.
Michael was babbling still, this time he'd moved onto to his upcoming project with Tom. Kathryn was trying to focus but she was finding it very difficult. Suddenly she caught the flash of a plaid skirt. Hustling down the corridor following what she thought was Beatrice, she could hear the children asking her where she was going.
Kathryn didn't stop. She rounded a corner and saw Beatrice standing there. Her eyes widened with horror.
It was impossible for this little girl to be standing there. She was a hologram and holograms couldn't move about the ship. "My mother is alive," the child said, coldly, "and my father loves her, not you."
The Captain closed her eyes tightly but when she opened them the child was gone.
"Mama?"
Kathryn turned about to see Michael standing behind her, holding Ava's hand. Both of the children were looking at her quizzically. "Are you okay?" the boy asked.
"Fine, I'm fine," the mother answered nervously.
"Why were you running?"
"I…I thought I saw someone I needed to talk too," Kathryn replied, quickly, reaching out and guiding Michael back down the corridor towards the turbo lift. "How about a visit to Engineering for a while? Maybe Crewman Hogan can show you the plasma injectors?"
Michael's eyes lit up as he completely forgot the obvious discomfort that his mother was in. "What are we waiting for?" he happily shouted as he let go of Ava's hand and tore off towards the lift.
Kathryn scooped the toddler up and followed, peaking back once to see if Beatrice was following them.
"I'm a little worried that she has no memory of what happened in the mess hall," the Doctor told him.
"A little worried?" Chakotay repeated back, baffled. "I think we should be more than a little worried, Doctor. She had no recollection of Voyager."
The hologram scratched his chin and looked down at his unconscious patient. When Kes had informed him that Sarah had escaped, he hadn't been too surprised. After all the senior officers on this ship seemed bound and determined not to listen to their Chief Medical Officer and do as they pleased. He'd sent Kes to find her. Lieutenant Barrett had been returned kicking and screaming, dragged by Tuvok and his security guards. He'd immediately sedated her and she had been asleep since. "I found nothing abnormal in her scans. There is no brain damage to suggest delusions and her theta wave activity was within normal parameters. This doesn't necessarily mean that this isn't telepathically induced, it just doesn't seem likely."
Chakotay frowned. "Could it be a virus?"
"Possibly," the Doctor replied. "But my scans have found nothing yet. To put it frankly, I don't know what happened."
The First Officer wasn't happy. Voyager was going to be making contact with an alien race that didn't enjoy outsiders too much and their diplomatic advisor was sidelined. He hadn't told Kathryn the extent of her condition because he didn't want to make the overstressed woman worry even more than she already was. "Doctor," he said firmly, "we're due to meet with the Botha in less than twenty four hours. We need her on the bridge."
"Commander, even if I knew what was wrong and could treat her, I wouldn't suggest duty," the Doctor snapped.
"Is there a possibility that she was just sleep walking?"
"Sleep walking?"
"Yes, sleep walking."
The Doctor pondered the possibility. "I suppose but that doesn't explain her hallucination of Commander Tuvok. Most humans, when they sleep walk, fail to remember what they did."
Chakotay had known that he was grasping at straws but he had to grasp at something. It just couldn't be possible that Sarah's delusions were just happening without a medical explanation. "What about bacteria or a parasite or an alien? Something, Doctor, is causing these delusions and I'd like to know sooner rather than later why!"
Movement from the biobed stalled the Doctor's response. Sarah was stirring and waking up. Chakotay and the Doctor watched as she stretched her arms, as if she was waking up from a long nap, and sat up on the biobed, eyes blinking into the bright light trying to adjust. The Doctor quickly grabbed a medical tricorder and proceeded to scan her. She followed his every movement but there wasn't a hint of panic on her face, in fact, she looked relaxed. Finished with his scan the Doctor closed the instrument down. "Do you know me, Lieutenant?"
Sarah gave him a puzzled look then looked at Chakotay briefly before answering. "Yes, you're the EMH."
"And what ship are you on?"
"Voyager."
Chakotay couldn't help the small sigh of relief that passed his lips. Perhaps, she had just been sleep walking.
Sarah heard his little sigh and picked up on his tremendous relief. She shot her head around and looked at him, her eyes wide with worry. "Commander, is something wrong with me?"
"We think, or at least I do, that you were sleep walking."
"Sleep walking?"
"You believed that you were on a star base looking for Commander Fletcher," Chakotay informed her. "You didn't recognize Captain Janeway."
"I've never slept walked before," Sarah said softly. "And I was just thinking about the Explorer the other day. Michael asked me questions about my last ship."
The Doctor glowered for a moment. "As Commander Chakotay said, he believes you were sleep walking. I'd like to run a few more tests before I properly diagnosis you with a sleeping disorder. You're going to have to sleep here, in sickbay, Lieutenant."
Sarah numbly nodded her head. If she was honest, she was a little disconcerted about this sleep walking thing. Could it be another post traumatic side effect to her captivity on Gerroa Prime? To witnessing her former lover destroy his ship? She suddenly felt very tired. Chakotay ordered her to get some rest and not to worry about the Botha that they would be able to handle it without her, and he returned to the Bridge. The Doctor asked Kes to replicate something for Sarah to eat and then disappeared back into his office, going over the test he had already run on the counselor.
She was still sitting there, a tray of food on her lap, when Tom entered. He peeked around the room to make sure that no one was looking and then dashed towards her, kissing her forehead. "Chakotay told us that you'd be spending the night here."
"He thinks I'm sleep walking," she replied.
"Oh, that could be a reasonable explanation," Tom said taking her hand and stroking it gently.
"For my entire conversation with Tuvok?" Sarah asked quirking an eyebrow.
Tom chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment. "It could have been a dream."
"Michael told you," Sarah snapped. "Don't lie, I can sense it."
"Fine, Michael did mention you talked to Tuvok when he wasn't there," Tom confessed. "But you remember that conversation. Do you remember what happened in the mess hall?"
Her face clouded over. "Chakotay told me that I thought I was on a star base looking for Commander Fletcher and that I didn't recognize Captain Janeway. I'm not sure the full details and I don't remember any of it."
Tom knew it was probably better that way. She'd be embarrassed to know that Tuvok had been called in. He'd heard the story himself when he'd gone to dinner. B'Elanna was buzzing about it. Apparently the whole ship was. It had taken three security guards to drag her out of the mess hall and back to sickbay. She didn't recognize anyone in that room, even Captain Janeway. Tom couldn't imagine how that had felt for Janeway. He knew how he would have felt. He would have felt heart broken. "See, people don't remember what happened or what they did when they sleep walk."
Sarah stared at the remainder of her food. She had tried to eat most of it but she found she didn't have much of an appetite. "I thought I was getting better, Tom."
"Better? What do you mean, love?"
"I thought I'd put my captivity and the Washington behind me."
He reached out and brushed away the tears she had not even been aware that had fallen. "Those are things, love, that just aren't going to go a way so easily. But I'm here, and whenever you feel like crying, it's okay, I'll wipe the tears."
Sarah slid the food tray on a nearby cart, an angry, frustrated look in her eyes. "I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life."
"Who says that the sleep walking is a result of post traumatic stress? There could be any number of reasons why you're sleep walking."
"And having random conversations with myself?"
"Yeah, sure, maybe you have a virus or something."
"The Doctor doesn't know what's wrong," Sarah cried suddenly, tears spilling out of her eyes and down her flushed cheeks.
He hated to see her crying like this, but he put himself in her position. It had to be terrifying not knowing why she was hallucinating. This time he took her face in his hands and kissed the tears away, eventually claiming her mouth in a tender, loving embrace. He knew he was taking a risk, kissing her in sickbay, at any moment anyone could walk in and see them, but he didn't care. She needed comforting. Pulling away he let his lips linger over hers. "Everything is going to be alright," he whispered, "you'll see."
Sarah could feel his breath on her face. It was warm and smelled like the spices Neelix loved to use. "You should go, before we get caught."
Tom looked at her with disappointed eyes. "I don't want to go, not just yet."
"I'm rather sleepy," she argued. "I'm not going to be very good company."
He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "That's fine. We don't have to talk."
"You're impossible, Tom Paris."
Tom flashed a wide grin. She wouldn't be the first person to tell him that and it wouldn't be the last time he'd hear it. "I do my best," he cracked, leaning back in his seat.
"Well, do your best and go replicate me a good book," Sarah ordered good naturedly.
"Yes ma'am."
Sarah watched as Tom disappeared into the back to go and replicate something for her to read, probably some twentieth century novel that had little relevance to life these days, but Tom was fond of that era so she tried to tolerate it. While she waiting the doors to sickbay swished open and Kathryn Janeway walked in.
The Captain activated the Doctor. He shimmered into existence and asked her to state the nature of the medical emergency. "Have you come up with a reason why Lieutenant Barrett is hallucinating?"
"None yet, Captain. Why do you ask?"
"Because…I'm hallucinating too."