Author Notes: This is what you've all been waiting for. You finally get to find out what happened to Jane. Thank you so much for your patience, the fact you're still reading this is pretty awesome. I hope this has been worth it. But please, please read the warning before you proceed. Also, please review!
Warning: This chapter contains a traumatic death. I appreciate that difficult subjects can be hard for some to read about, and this chapter will probably be more difficult than most. If it's too hard, you can always wait for the next one, where I will summarise what has happened within it.
~ Five Years Ago
"I have a rotation this morning, I'll be back after lunch," Maura said. She placed a hand on Jane's shoulder and leaned in. Moving her hand down her front, Maura trailed her fingers across Jane's enlarged stomach. "Be good for Mama. Don't let her work too hard on the nursery until I get home."
"If you didn't have to go to work we could work on it now," Jane said, sticking out her lower lip.
Maura pressed her lips to the corner of her mouth. "I'm sorry. I won't be long. I mean it, you're twenty-eight weeks pregnant, Jane, now isn't the time for you to be doing this alone."
"I'm pregnant, I'm not an invalid."
Maura raised an eyebrow. "Ashley said she'd pick Toby up, so we can work on it all afternoon."
Munching on her last slice of toast, Jane watched Maura leave. She hated spending the day alone. Since becoming pregnant, she'd lost more and more of her independence. While she knew she could still take Toby to preschool, Ashley and her mother had insisted on taking on some of the workload.
Once Maura had gone, Jane sighed. She rolled her hands around her front. "I wish Mommy didn't have to leave. Just a couple more months until we get to meet you and then she'll stay home for a little while."
She washed up the breakfast dishes and went upstairs. Funny how everybody wanted to take Toby to school but nobody offered to help with the breakfast dishes. Jane pouted. The nursery was a mess, as it had been for months. Two cans of paint sat, unopened, on the floor. The old carpet was rolled up in a corner awaiting removal. A set of ladders leaned against the wall.
"Maybe we should have hired somebody, like Mommy suggested."
A fist, or foot, collided with the inside of her womb. Jane placed a hand over the location of the baby's movement. She took a deep breath, soaking up the feeling of her daughter inside of her. Everything was falling into place just how it was supposed to. They were a family, and their newest recruit was preparing nicely.
"We should set up," Jane said, opening the ladders and pushing them toward a wall. She pulled out a painting tray and roller. It wouldn't take long; it just took making some time. Jane checked her watch, barely half an hour had passed since Maura left. "I don't know what Maura's so worried about, it's only a bit of paint."
She picked up a screwdriver, and after a little maneuvering, placed the paint can on one of the rungs of the ladder. She prized open the lid and tipped it into the tray.
"Don't tell Mommy, we'll pretend Uncle Frankie came over to help."
Running the roller through the paint, she spread it across the wall. A warm, springtime, green coated the previously white walls, brightening up the room in an instant. Jane pushed the roller over more white space. Dipping it back into the tray, she continued on up as far as she could reach. She stepped up onto the bottom rung of the ladder and reached up further, then another, and another, until she perched beside the paint pot.
"Easy as pie," Jane said, absentmindedly talking to the baby. "I hope Mommy brings home some pie for lunch. She knows it's my favourite right now. Or your favourite."
She stepped down the ladder and pushed it across to the other side of the wall. She continued painting, climbing the ladder once more to finish off a complete section of the wall. Feeling an element of pride, Jane admired her handy work. Contrary to popular belief, she was not incapable of continuing to fix up the nursery, and she planned to inform Maura of that later.
She placed her foot on the lower rung of the ladder. She clung to the frame, placed another foot down. When she lowered her foot it caught the edge of the paint can, causing it to slip off the step and tumbled to the floor. Paint covered the ladders. Jane groaned.
"I am such a klutz," she shouted.
She moved quickly down to the next rung. As her foot made contact with the paint covered step, she felt it slide out from under her. She slipped backward, her hands reached out to the frame. She caught the metal of the ladders, but her feet didn't make it. The moment between dropping and landing spread out for what felt like an eternity. Regret shrouded her decisions from that morning onward. The ladder provided no stability, but she didn't let go. She landing painfully on her ankle. It twisted out from under her, cracking loudly. A pain shot through her foot. She couldn't withstand her own weight. Jane stumbled backward, still gripping the ladder. When she fell back, the ladder moved with her.
The floor collided with her back. A pain shot through Jane's lower back. She screamed. The ladder toppled over, landing on top of her with an almighty crash.
Every gasp for air sent her into a spin. Her lower back ached, a sharp pain spread through her pelvis. Tears filled her eyes. She wrapped her hands around her stomach. The ladder rested uncomfortably against her leg, held at an angle only by the edge of her baby bump.
She closed her eyes. This wasn't happening. Maura would be home soon. Jane hadn't been a stupid, idiotic, 'I can do everything' person. She hadn't endangered her baby's life. She was simply lay in bed, a natural niggle in her back from the act of growing a child.
When she opened her eyes again, tears clouded her sight. She hadn't moved. The ladder still rested against her stomach. She was still lay on the floor, pain spasms making any small movement unbearable.
In the commotion, she didn't notice the wet stain forming around her maternity pants. When the warm liquid soaking into the material became apparent, she felt an unfamiliar pain spread through her abdomen.
x
It had been a fantastic day right up until the drive home. Retraining as a forensic psychiatrist was a challenge that Maura was almost certainly willing to take. She'd been around enough criminals, or the victims of criminals, to know that it was a field she could make great strides in. The timing was not exactly perfect, given that they were about to have a baby, but she was happy. After everything they'd been through with Toby's birth, and the after effects, her whole life was finally falling into place.
When she unlocked the front door, she was not surprised to find Jane nowhere in sight. She'd promised to be home after lunch and it was almost three in the afternoon. Multiple delays on the roads had set her back over an hour.
"Jane?" she shouted, taking the stairs up to the first floor.
She anticipated Jane would have already started the nursery without her. It wasn't in her nature to wait. They'd put it off long enough. The upper floor of the house was quiet. She checked their bedroom first, just in case, then pushed open the door to the nursery.
"Jane!" she screamed, placing a hand over her mouth. In all of her visions of Jane painting the nursery without her, lying on the floor with the ladders on top of her was not one of them. She rushed forward, kneeling on the floor. She pushed the ladder away from her. "Jane, are you okay?"
The dazed look in her eyes worried her. Jane stared at her with a desperation she'd never seen before. Her silence was alarming. She ran her fingers across her body, searching for signs of injury.
"Ahh." Jane leaned forward, lifting her head up off the floor. She clutched her abdomen. Maura continued her examination, she pressed again gently, and Jane double over.
"Where does it hurt?"
"If I move, it goes through me."
"I think you've damaged your pelvis," she said, running her hand across Jane's face. She leaned closer, peppering her with kisses, before placing her folded up jacket under her head. "It's going to be okay. We'll get you an ambulance. Everything's going to be fine. How long have you been lying here?"
"Since this morning," Jane whispered, her voice low and toneless.
Maura pulled away to dial 911. Jane grasped for her wrist. She wrapped her hand tightly around Maura's skin, too tightly. Staring into Jane's eyes, she could see pain. It hurt to ignore her, but she needed to get help.
Hanging up the phone a few moments later, she cupped Jane's cheeks. "They're going to be a little while. There's been a pile up on the freeway. It was a nightmare getting home, I'm so sorry I'm late."
Now that help was on its way – if a little slowly – she could refocus her attention on Jane. Leaning down to examine the baby, Jane's hand tightened around her wrist. Her face twisted up, and she let out a great gasp, followed by a number of slow pants.
"What just happened?" Maura asked, pressing gently around the edge of her stomach. A blank expression stared back at her. Maura stroked her hand down Jane's cheek. She needed answers, she needed an ambulance, she needed someone to airlift them out of there. "Jane, what is it?"
A flash of horror spread across her face. "I've been having contractions."
"It's fine," Maura said, forging a smile. She reexamined the baby bump. "These things happen. As long as your waters haven't broken, everything will be fine. How often?"
She could hear the waver in her voice. Despite knowing otherwise, she hoped that Jane couldn't hear it too. Without an ambulance, their baby was at risk of being born too early and Maura didn't have the resources to deal with that. If they were in the hospital they could whisk her off to the NICU, they could pump Jane with steroids to assist the baby's lungs. Right now, on the floor of the nursery, there was nothing Maura could do but monitor Jane and wait.
"Every, few," Jane gritted her teeth.
The obvious signs of another contraction came and went. Maura closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She shook her head. They had time. They had to have time. She ignored everything she knew about labour.
"Everything's going to be okay," Maura said, wiping tears and sweat from Jane's forehead. The more she said it, the more she hoped it would be true.
Jane tried to speak, but tears caught up in her throat. After repeating herself a couple of times, Maura could hear the words that sent a chill down her spine. "My waters broke when I fell."
"I'm going to get some towels and hot water, I'll be back as soon as I can," she said, standing up and rushing out of the room. When she returned, she knelt down beside Jane and wiped at her sweat covered forehead. "You and our beautiful daughter are going to be just fine."
"Don't leave," Jane whispered, clutching her dress.
Tears clouded Maura's eyes but she maintained eye contact. "I promise I won't go anywhere. The ambulance is on its way."
"The accident," Jane said.
"I know," Maura replied. "I know, but they're coming."
She redialed 911 on her cell phone and updated the handler on Jane's situation. She took the moment to brush tears from her cheeks. She needed to be strong. She was the only one who knew what to do.
"They're coming," Maura repeated, placing her cell phone on the floor.
"Maura?"
She blew a bubble of spit, Maura's name came out in the middle of it, lost in a moment of ugly tears. But they weren't ugly to Maura. She wiped at Jane's face with the cloth, fighting her own body's desire to break down. She needed to be strong.
"The baby stopped moving a couple hours ago."
Words caught in the back of Maura's throat. She froze. Her fingers wrapped tightly around Jane's hand loosened. She sat a little taller, stoicism spread quickly across her face, but inside her heart was breaking.
Before she could ask anymore questions, Jane screamed. Her hand wrapped tighter around the edge of Maura's dress, her other hand placed over the front of her stomach. Maura closed her eyes as she felt the familiarity of a woman in the second stage of active labour. She took a moment to compose herself. But when she opened her eyes and Jane stared back, she felt herself crumble inside.
"Okay," Maura said, maintaining a modicum of calm. She crawled around to Jane's legs and reached for the elasticated waistband. "I'm going to have a look and see what's going on."
Pulling the pants carefully away, Maura cringed as Jane winced in pain. She hated hurting her. She cleared her throat and slipped the fabric down her legs. Once she'd discarded them, she carefully pulled Jane's legs apart.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, as Jane whimpered with every movement. "I can see the head."
"What?" Jane's eyes opened wide.
Deep down Maura knew that Jane knew what was happening, but the look in her eyes made her wonder just how much she fully understood. She clasped a hand around Jane's and stared into her eyes, holding her attention.
"We're going to do this together. When you feel the next contraction, you're going to need to push."
A minute later, Jane's face twisted up and she gripped Maura's hand tightly. With an almighty groan, the baby moved toward the exit of the birth canal. Maura reached out her hands, cupping them around the top of the baby's head.
Falling back against the floor, Jane whimpered; slow, sharp gasps laced with tears. Maura held the baby's head in one hand and reached out for Jane with her other.
"I can't do this." She squeezed back. "Do you think she's okay?"
Maura swallowed a lump as it formed in the back of her throat. She gripped Jane's fingers and averted her gaze. She honestly didn't have an answer to that question. A few moments later, with another push, the baby moved further out. It took another couple of contractions for the baby to squirm her way completely out.
"Is she okay?" Jane asked, glancing over to where Maura had turned her back.
She held the baby in her arms, her tiny face so perfectly formed. She cut the cord. She ran her fingers across her mouth and lowered her ear to her face. She couldn't feel any breaths. The baby didn't even move. After a quick assessment, she squeezed the baby's nose and breathed deeply into her lungs. Then pressed down against her chest. She felt the crush of her rib cage as it moved under her touch. The longer she worked, the more she knew the result. After a few minutes, her shoulders dropped and her eyes fell to the floor.
"Maura?"
She fought against the tears that threatened to fall. Everything inside of her was breaking and she couldn't find a way to stop it. When she turned back to Jane, their daughter in her arms, her resolve rebuilt. She forged a sympathetic smile and lowered the child into her arms.
"I'm so, so sorry."
Jane's chest shook with each great gasping sob, her hands wrapped tightly around their daughter's body. Maura sat beside her, watching her fall apart, yet unable to do anything but be there. She wiped at her cheeks.
"It's my fault," Jane whispered, still cradling the baby.
"No."
Leaning down beside Jane, Maura wrapped an arm around them both. She pushed her face against the crook of Jane's neck and lay there with them until the ambulance arrived.
Author Notes: If you've made it this far, you deserve something fluffier (perhaps even smuttier?) - check out the one shot 'Uniform' (rated M for sexual content) because it's 5000+ words that are the complete opposite of this.