CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:
Chapter 21

Next morning…

"My head…" Sango groaned. She sat up, swung her legs over the side of the bed and cradled her throbbing skull in her hands. "What happened to me?" She looked about with bloodshot eyes. "Where am I?" The place was familiar, but she couldn't remember who it belonged to. Maybe she should just lie back down for a little while? She did so and was instantly asleep.

"My head…" Myouga groaned. He sat up to find himself once again in a rice bowl full of tissues. A bleary glance to his left showed Sango passed out on the bed next the table on which sat his bowl. "What happened to me?" He wondered, but honestly couldn't remember a thing after Shippo started feeding him drops of Sango's drink. "That definitely wasn't sake." He decided the kitsune had played a cruel trick on him and Sango and resolved to get even…right after he got some more sleep.

Miroku and Yuki dozed contentedly in each other's arms in the next room, having spent most of the night making a shambles of the sheets. Shunusuke was sacked out on the living room couch. Shippo snored on one chair, Kagome slept peacefully in the other. Inu Yasha sulked on the porch, to which he'd been banished by his angry house mates, who hadn't appreciated him getting them all worked up over nothing. Before going to sleep, Kagome had written down her phone number for Inu Yasha and stuffed it in his pocket with stern instructions not to lose it this time. Now she felt sort of guilty for being so angry with him. After all, he'd only been trying to be responsible by calling to let her know he wouldn't be able to meet her back at the hotel. Her eyes opened a slit to peer through the glass door at Inu Yasha's back. He was curled up with the Tetsusaiga, as if expecting an attack at any moment, per usual.

Sigh. Kagome quietly slipped out of her chair and tip toed out onto the porch. Inu Yasha's head rested against the Tetsusaiga's hilt, his face tense, and his ears twitching. "Poor Inu Yasha," Kagome thought sadly, "even when you sleep you can't relax." She sat down beside him, lay her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. In a few moments, she was fast asleep.

Very slowly, Inu Yasha's expression softened, and his ears quit their nervous pivoting about.

Meanwhile back at the hotel, Hisui was scheming over an omelet and green tea while Sesshomaru slept behind her in their bed. Well, she tried to scheme, but her thoughts kept wandering back to what Sesshomaru had said the night before. It was true that all of her children had human fathers. It made it easier to kill them if they got out of line. A full-blooded child could become a real threat, and she might actually feel bad about slaying a full demon offspring. Not like killing a half-blood. That was easy and completely guilt-free. She could squash Mikoto like a bug without a second thought, though she might hesitate with his son Shunusuke. That boy actually had promise.

Had Sesshomaru really been in love with her for centuries? How had she missed that? What an opportunity that would've been! He said it himself, he could never have defeated her in his youth. A union between them would've given her control of both the north and the west, with his adoring consent. Hm. Why did that thought put a bad taste in her mouth, she wondered and cast a surreptitious glance at her sleeping lover. How beautiful he was with his face relaxed and gentle. Could it really be that she'd fallen in love with this man she couldn't wrap around her finger? He sighed, his lips parting gently in sleep. Hisui couldn't resist him when he looked like that, so she abandoned her breakfast and snuggled back into bed.

Somewhere in Australia, a lone, black-furred fox lay curled in a hole under a Eucalyptus tree, shivering with the effort not to sob. This was easier to do in fox form than in human form, since a fox couldn't cry. It whined and sometimes howled or yipped, but it couldn't actually shed tears. Shinai's fluffy tail smacked his runny nose over and over again, unable to keep still with its owner so upset. Damn Hisui! Damn Sesshomaru! Damn his own peasant ancestry that kept Hisui Oukami forever out of reach. And what did he see in that selfish bitch, anyway? Hmph! She didn't deserve a great guy like him! Yeah, that was it. She deserved a stuck-up playboy like Sesshomaru. With such thoughts, Shinai tried in vain to convince himself to hate Hisui. It was only when a Kuala started sniffing around his hiding place that he was able to stop thinking about her long enough to snarl the bear into the branches. After the Kuala, he had to fight off a pack of Dingoes. Then that damn bird dropped guano onto his tail…

"On the one paw," thought Shinai as he swished his tail in a stream to wash off the bird poop, "this could be the universe trying to help me forget her by keeping me pissed off. On the other paw, the universe might just be having fun at my expense." He didn't have to ponder it long to decide which it was and raise his muzzle to the gray sky to curse the powers that be. That's when it started to rain.

"Oh yeah. I've been singled out for persecution. Definitely."

Suddenly a man in camouflage clothes and vest appeared on the other side of the stream and pointed a rifle at Shinai. "Oi, Mites! Over 'ere! Ain't 'e a beauty! Lookit that coat!" Two more men appeared behind the first man as he took aim at what he thought was an ordinary fox.

Shinai very briefly toyed with the idea of letting the stupid human shoot him, then self-preservation instinct took over and he transported himself out of there.

The hunters blinked at the empty air where once a fox had been. One of them pulled a bottle out of his vest pocket, gave the liquor a sour look and tossed the bottle into the stream. One after the other, his companions followed suit.

Back in Japan, Shinai's twin Tsurai was in a similar state of distress. He'd spent a sleepless night in a tree outside Yuki's bedroom, subjecting himself to the agonizing pain of watching her have another man over and over and over and… Now she lay there with a happy smile on her sleeping face, all curled up nice and cozy in his arms. Grrrrrr!

Tsurai shivered and slapped his nose with his tail, wondering why she would run to that priest when he himself was always ready and willing? Not that she'd ever seemed to like him very much. He pondered that for the zillionth time and wondered (again, for the zillionth time) what he lacked that Yuki wanted in a man. He had money, a prestigious position in her father's organization, good taste, good looks. What else did she want?

While thinking his miserable thoughts, Tsurai nodded off and fell out of the tree into the prickly embrace of a shrub. He disappeared with a painful yelp, thinking the universe must surely be out to get him.

By lunchtime, most everyone in the condo was mobile if not especially coherent. Inu Yasha and Kagome were walking on the beach, while Miroku and Yuki…um…continued to get to know each other better. Sango slouched at the kitchen table, her head in one hand, a mug of something Shunusuke called "coffee" in the other. It tasted terrible, even after he put "non-dairy creamer" and sugar in it. She dunked her finger into her mug and offered the droplet to Myouga, who sat by her elbow on the tabletop. He was doing a little better than she was, since his demon constitution enabled him to heal himself more quickly. She looked like hell and felt a few degrees worse. The "Tylenol" Shunusuke had given her wasn't even making a dent in her headache, since she'd thrown up the pills before they'd had a chance to get into her system. Shunusuke refused to give her more of them, which suited her just fine. She'd probably just throw up again, anyway.

"Here, try this," Shunusuke told her gently as he set a small glass filled with bubbling water in front of her. "It'll settle your stomach and help your head, too."

Sango nudged the glass close to her head and sniffed it. All she got for that was fizz up her nose and a sneezing fit, which only made her head hurt more. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"Just drink it," Shunusuke insisted. He sat down next to her and tapped the lip of the glass. "It tastes terrible but it really works. Trust me, I speak from experience."

She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him and took a tiny test sip of the fizzy medicine. No kidding it tasted terrible! Ugh! "What is it?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's medicine. Drink it."

Sango debated whether or not to trust him after feeding her that nasty coffee stuff, decided he probably wouldn't poison her, closed her eyes and chugged the whole thing in four gulps. Much to her surprise, the fizzing actually felt good going down and even better once it hit her stomach. She licked the grit off her lips with a grimace and gave Shunusuke a weary look. "How long till it works?"

A shrug was not the response she was hoping for. "A few minutes, I guess. It depends on the person." He gave her an apologetic smile. "You're smaller than I am, so it shouldn't take as long to go through your system." Reaching under the table, he produced a blue bag with a lid on it from atop his thigh and offered it to her with a solicitous grin. "Ice pack?"

She took it from him with a sour look. "If you say so."

"Put it on your head."

"Oh." Sango did and felt much better.

Shunusuke produced an ice cube wrapped in a napkin for Myouga, who lay down with his head butted up against it and sighed. "What was in that drink?"

"You really don't want to know," Shunusuke told him.

All throughout this exchange, rhythmic creaking noises from Yuki's bedroom provided an annoying soundtrack. After a while, Sango, Myouga and Shunusuke found their heads nodding in time with it.

"Do they ever get tired?" Sango grumbled, trying very hard not to even think about what was causing the noise.

At the same time, Shunusuke grouched: "We really need to get a new box spring in there." After a few more minutes of bobbing to the noise, Shunusuke stormed over to the bedroom and pounded on the door. "Will you give it a rest?!"

Silence, then giggles, then the creaking started again in earnest. Shunusuke threw up his hands in disgust and returned to the kitchen. "We could sit on the porch," he suggested, "the fresh air might be good for your head."

Sango and Myouga agreed, so the trio adjourned to the porch.

Kagome and Inu Yasha strolled hand-in-hand down the beach, cooling their bare feet at the water's edge and saying nothing. It was enough just to be together in the sunshine, like a couple of ordinary teenagers enjoying their summer holiday at the seashore. Nasty things like Hisui, Sesshomaru, the Jewel and Naraku faded away, as if they'd only been a bad dream. All there was was the sea, the sun and each other.

Then the universe realized it was slacking off and got back to the business of messing up Inu Yasha's life.

"There he is!"

"Ahhhhh! He's so gorgeous!"

"Get him!"

Inu Yasha's eyes bugged at the approaching mob of teenage girls. He spun about to find even more rabid groupies heading his way. Kagome balled her fists and readied herself for a good, old fashioned, knock down, drag out catfight, but Inu Yasha hoisted her onto his back and took to the air. They flew to the hotel and alighted on Kagome's balcony. "Hurry up and open the door!" Inu Yasha urged Kagome in a panic.

She yanked open the sliding door, then slammed it shut and locked it behind them. "Good thing I forgot to lock it up," she panted.

Inu Yasha nodded as he flopped onto the bed with relief. "What's their problem, Kagome?" He snarled. "You never act like—hey, wait a minute!" Inu Yasha sat up with a jolt of realization. "How come you never act like that about me, huh? You never say I'm gorgeous or have a killer ass or anything!"

Kagome was dubious. "You mean you want me to screech at you and chase you around all the time like a total idiot?"

He frowned at her. "You don't think I'm gorgeous, do you?"

SIGH. Kagome sat down facing him on the bed and gave him a hard look. "How can you even ask me that, after everything that's happened between us this week?"

His ears drooped as he lay down and stared at the ceiling. "You don't, do you?"

"Oh for crying out loud, Inu Yasha!" Kagome snorted. "Of course I do!" She lay down next to him and squeezed his hand. "I thought you were cute the first time I saw you, when you were still under Kikyou's enchantment." She snickered. "Then you woke up and started acting like a jerk."

He let go of her hand, rolled over and propped himself up on one elbow so he could look into her face. She blushed. He blushed. "I think…you're really beautiful, too," Inu Yasha gulped. He brushed her hair away from her face, then trailed his fingertips down her cheek, along her jawbone and down her throat.

Kagome shivered as goosebumps sprang up on her neck at his touch. She closed her eyes and sighed when he ran a gentle claw over her collarbone. Then the hand went back to her hair as his body pressed against hers, and he kissed her.

Undaunted by this return to happiness in Inu Yasha's life, the universe worked another bit of mojo to steer things back down the dark path of annoyance.
Inu Yasha and Kagome smelled wet dog just as the cold shower hit them. They jumped with startled yelps to find a black fox shaking water out of its fur at the foot of the bed. "What the fuck?!" Inu Yasha jumped at the beast, which leaped nimbly onto the floor, then the dresser, then atop the TV, leaving Inu Yasha flat on his stomach, grabbing air.

The fox regarded them with twinkling gold eyes and its tongue lolling out mockingly. "I need your help," it told them as it plopped onto its butt and wrapped its tail about its legs.

Inu Yasha and Kagome stared at it for a second before the truth sank in. "Kitsune!" They exclaimed at the same time, then frowned and exchanged worried looks. Then they returned their gazes to the fox.

"Tsurai?" Inu Yasha asked. The fox shook its head.

Kagome groaned. "Not Shinai…"

The fox nodded. "In the fur! Look, I know we sort of got off to a bad start, but I think we can help each other out—"

"Yeah, right!" Kagome snorted as Inu Yasha jumped off the bed and made another snatch at Shinnai, who disappeared then reappeared by the glass door leading to the balcony.

He sat up on his haunches, held up his front paws in a very humanlike placating gesture and hurried to explain: "We both have a problem with Hisui! I can help you solve yours, if you'll help me solve mine!"

Inu Yasha dove at him again, and again the wily kitsune evaded him. "It would involved getting rid of Sesshomaru!" He yipped, and his attacker froze.

"Define 'getting rid of'," Inu Yasha asked cautiously. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and Shinai returned to the top of the TV.

Kagome pressed herself against Inu Yasha's back and commented dryly: "He means kill him."

Shinai raised a paw. "Not necessarily, attractive though I find the idea of croaking Pretty Boy."

"You and me both," Inu Yasha seconded, then realized he was agreeing with Hisui's personal bodyguard and jerked his mouth back into a frown.

"Killing him would destabilize the Western Lands," Shinai explained. "That would be bad."

Inu Yasha narrowed his eyes. "But that would leave a big hole for Hisui to fill, wouldn't it?" He snorted: "I knew it: You're just doing this to help her get control of my father's—"

"Nonononono!" Shinai shook his head emphatically. "Hisui having control of both the North and the West would be even worse than having nobody in control of the West! Even I can see that, and I'm in lo—er, I work for her."

Kagome and Inu Yasha exchanged knowing looks. Things were getting a lot clearer. "So," Inu Yasha yawned, "you want my brother out of the way so you can have Hisui for yourself. Is that it?"

Shinai's ears and tail drooped and he looked away from them out the glass doors. "Even with Sesshomaru out of the picture," he confessed sadly, "she wouldn't turn to me. I just think she deserves better than that bastard."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "I think they're perfect for each other," she smirked. "They're both conceited, shallow and think they're better than everybody else. They deserve each other."

"I wouldn't wish Hisui on anybody," Inu Yasha added, "not even my asshole brother." He crossed his arms and gave Shinnai a cold glare. "You're full of shit. I know you're just here to spy on us for Hisui."

Shinnai's fur bristled. "Do you want to get Shunusuke in here to read my mind, or something?"

"He's her grandson," Inu Yasha reminded him flatly, "and he's already lied to us once."

That seemed to come as a complete surprise to Shinai, who's jaw clamped shut with a snap, then dropped back open again in astonishment. "Mr. Goody Two-Shoes lied?" Again with the mocking tongue wagging. "He'll probably do penance for it for a month! He's such a wuss!"

Shunusuke Asano might have lied to him, but nothing he'd seen of the man so far could convince Inu Yasha that Shunusuke was a wuss. Even if he was a raging peacenik, he wasn't wussy. "So why are you here, anyway?"

Shinai grinned a foxy grin. "To help you beat Hisui at her own little mind games!"

"In exchange for helping you get rid of the competition," Inu Yasha frowned. "You still haven't said what you meant by 'getting rid of' Sesshomaru."

"Why, I want to break him and Hisui up, of course."

"And I should care because…?"

With an angry swoosh of his bushy tail, Shinai snarled: "Because Sesshomaru's and arrogant asshole, and you hate his guts. You spite Pretty Boy and I spite Hisui. It's a win-win deal for both of us."

Inu Yasha looked at Kagome, who shook her head slowly. "I don't care who my brother's fucking," he told Shinai coldly, "but I do care what happens to me, my friends and Kagome's family. Make it so her family's safe—and tell us how you're gonna do that, in detail—and I'll think about helping you."

"I don't care about her fam—"

"No family safety, no deal," Kagome growled. When Shinai remained stubborn, she added meaningfully: "And we tell Hisui all about this little conversation."

"Hey! Your family is my family!" Shinai exclaimed with false brightness, then got serious. "I'll see what I can do and get back to you…say, this evening after dinner? Same place?"

Kagome held up a finger. "Give us a moment, please." She and Inu Yasha put their heads together and discussed the matter in a serious of head shakes and angry grunts. When they broke their huddle, Kagome declared: "Ok, right here after dinner—"

"But we're not promising anything!" Inu Yasha cut in with a nasty snarl.

Shinai chuckled self-consciously. "No, no, of course not! But I think you'll like my offer." With that, he jumped off the TV and disappeared before he even hit the floor.

"Freak," Inu Yasha muttered. "I hate it when he does that."