A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Cupcake155, who suggested "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Disney's Mulan. Hope you enjoy it!
Valinor
"Just a few more things to clear up. While we have discussed your obsession with the family of Elrond Half-Elven, we have not yet fully canvassed your fixation on the Battle of Helm's Deep. You seem to have been particularly active that evening."
"What can I say? It was a busy battlefield. Erm . . . what were you referring to again?"
"The training montage you saddled the Lord Aragorn with."
"Oh, yes . . . that. Well, you see, it went something like this..."
The Battle for Helm's Deep, dark, dismal, and damp as all get out.
Aragorn surveyed his "troops" with a feeling of deep despair. The Ranger knew that he could not communicate his doubts to the recruits, or they would all be doomed from the start. Right. Inhaling, he prepared for a quick, motivational speech. To his great surprise, a song came out instead.
"Let's get down to business, to defeat the Dun-
Lendings, though you're all granthers, and their great-grandsons.
You're the saddest bunch I ever trained
But you can bet before we're through.
Misters, I'll make fighting men out of you.
. . .
Tranquil as an elf-maid
But a Balrog within
Once you reject all weakness
You are sure to win.
You're a feeble, blind, arthritic lot -
Or else you haven't got a clue.
Somehow, I'll make Rohirrim out of you.
. . ."
While Aragorn paused for breath, he listened to the men grumbling amongst themselves and gesturing at Haldir's armor.
"I'm never gonna catch my breath."
"Say goodbye to those who loved me."
"Boy, was I at fool at Yule to grow so fat."
"The thought of war scares me to death."
"Hope those arrows don't pierce right through me."
"Now I really wish that I was wearing that…"
(this last with a pointed look at the Elven armor)
. . .
"Rohirrim
We must be swift as one of the Mearas,
Rohirrim
With all the force of Helm Hammerhand,
Rohirrim
With all the strength of ten full éoreds.
So that we can protect our dear homeland.
. . ."
Sensing that they were at last beginning to grasp his vision, Aragorn leapt atop the parapet encircling the Deep and continued,
"Time is racing toward us till our foes arrive
Heed the King's orders, and you might survive.
You're unsuited for the rage of war.
But you're all that I've got to use.
How can I save this keep, just with you?
. . .
Rohirrim
We must be swift as one of the Mearas
Rohirrim
With all the force of Helm Hammerhand,
Rohirrim
With all the strength of ten full éoreds.
So that we can protect our dear homeland.
. . .
Rohirrim
We must be swift as one of the Mearas
Rohirrim
With all the force of Helm Hammerhand,
Rohirrim
With all the strength of ten full éoreds.
So that we can protect our dear homeland."