Chapter 21: Alive

It was supposed to feel better. Having Sam back, it was supposed to feel better.

This wasn't what he'd had in mind. His wife strapped to an infirmary bed, sedated and prohibited from returning to Earth, it wasn't what he had in mind.

Then again, she was alive. No matter what else happened, she was alive. And where there was life, there was hope, right?

Now Jack sat by her side, waiting for her to wake up, He'd been in this position far too many times over the last twelve years. Sooner or later he knew the woman he loved might not wake up. Heck, less than a week ago, he thought she was dead. Life was fleeting. He'd learned that much in his checkered career.

The precious times they'd spent together had been too few. He wasn't ready for this to be the end. She had to wake up and she had to be Sam. He wouldn't allow it to be any other way. But even Jack O'Neill recognized unreasonable bravado when he saw it. The truth was he had very little control of what was happening. The sooner he realized it the better.

So he sat, going on seven hours now, pretty much anchored to this spot. I must look rough, he thought. He was right. He hadn't shaved in nearly a day and as usual his hair wasn't combed. He'd fallen asleep curled up in the chair for an hour or two; the black tee shirt and old khakis he was wearing looked rumpled and unkempt. He was hardly the picture of a dedicated Major General. Of course, he hardly cared. Sam was all that mattered now.

With little else to do than hold Sam's hand and worry, Jack reflected on the events of the past twenty four hours. So many things were wrong about the way the raid had gone down. He wasn't sure what to think.

For one, it had been too easy. Sure there'd been the requisite number of Wraith to challenge the invaders and sacrifice their lives, but they didn't even try to stop the dart from leaving the hive. And no one came after them. Too easy; they were missing something. They'd let the team escape; there was no doubt of that in Jack's mind. He'd been on too many of these raids in his career to think success could be credited solely to their brilliant planning and execution. Not this time.

Never happy, he thought. That was true. Suspicion was second nature to the black ops veteran and he could smell a trap a mile away. Even though he had what he wanted, Sam back with him, he knew their troubles had only begun. There was more going on here than met the eye.

But one thing at a time. Right now he needed to get Sam back to herself.

Denny had sedated Sam as he dragged her into the dart. He must have given her a fairly big dose, too. She was out of it for hours before Keller had to dose her again. While Sam slept, Jennifer had completed her initial examinations and blood work. The Wraith feeding aperture was undoubtedly the most visible source of concern. Otherwise, Sam physically appeared to be Sam. She'd clearly lost a considerable amount of weight, nearly fifteen pounds, but two months in captivity could do that to a person.

She'd started screaming when she woke up that first time and saw Keller standing over her. Her scream was a pitiful high pitched sound that tore right through Jack. He couldn't begin to guess at the torrent of emotion behind that sound. From the bewildered look in her eyes, Jack wondered whether Sam truly understood where she was or what was happening to her. He doubted that she'd recognized Keller.

Fortunately, Jack had been standing in the doorway waiting for Keller to finish her ministrations when Sam started to cry out. He'd quickly made his was to her bedside. As soon as he called her name she'd quieted, but her eyes remained wild with fear. She'd grabbed hold of him, clinging to him as if her life depended on it. To everyone's relief, she made no attempt to feed. She was trembling.

"Don't let them hurt me," she whispered.

He didn't know what to make of her words a few hours ago and he didn't know what to think now. All he knew was his superiors refused to let her return to Earth until all questions were answered to their satisfaction. As far as the President was concerned his wife was a security risk. They're probably right, he thought reluctantly.

They said she was Wraith, that her captors had made her Wraith. But the woman he'd held in his arms a few hours ago, before Keller sedated her again, was Sam. Frightened, confused, not exactly herself, but she'd been in enemy hands a long while, what did they expect? What did he expect?

Only time would tell. Even now, Jennifer Keller was sequestered in her lab pouring over test results, DNA profiles, PET scans and the like, intent on finding out what exactly had been done to the woman who'd once been commander of this base. Jack had half a mind to harass Keller until she gave him some answers, but since he couldn't be in two places at once he'd decided to stay with Sam.

And so he did. Hour after hour, waving off attempts of trusted friends to relieve him, he sat there and willed her to wake up as the woman he remembered. The medication would be wearing off in an hour or so. He'd know soon enough.

OoOoOo

Back aboard "Oscar's" hive ship …

"She is back with the humans?"

"Yes, my queen," Oscar answered the female Wraith ultimately responsible for the survival of his hive.

"That is as it should be," she answered, her vibrant length of reddish hair contrasting with the deathly pallor of her face.

"They will understand," Oscar said with great determination.

"I hope you are correct," the Queen responded. "This is the opportunity we have been awaiting. Samantha Carter was the perfect subject, but she is not fully Wraith."

"No, she is not. But perhaps it is better this way," Oscar theorized. "She is as we once were."

The Wraith Queen nodded solemnly.

"That is true," she agreed. "Life, as we know it now, cannot continue. There are too many of us."

'The humans will help us," Oscar replied. "They will learn from this and they will help."

OoOoOo

Not far from the infirmary isolation room where Sam remained sedated, Denny occupied his own infirmary cubicle. Tended by one of Keller's assistants, he focused his waning attention on his first visitor, Colonel John Sheppard.

"Colonel, you shouldn't have," Denny quipped, working mightily to ignore the misery of withdrawal even now flooding his body. Despite the most recent dose of the enzyme, the symptoms of detoxification were rapidly progressing. He'd collapsed as soon as he'd left the cockpit of the dart. Coming off the Wraith enzyme was going to be even more difficult than he'd anticipated. With each reduced dosage, he would become more uncomfortable.

"What?" Sheppard said. "Oh, these?" he asked, gesturing to the combat boots he held in his hands. "I was bringing them back to my locker. Thought I'd stop and see how you were doing."

"Thanks for coming."

"Least I can do," John replied. "We wouldn't have gotten Sam back without you." Then after exchanging looks of military appreciation with Ford, he added, "How's it going, the withdrawal thing?"

"I've been better," Denny admitted. "Then again I've been worse, too. The Doc keeps reminding me I only have to go through this once."

"Yep, unless you plan on another close encounter with a Wraith," John said, instantly realizing his statement was less than amusing given their current circumstances.

Denny sensed his discomfort. "Don't worry, Sir," he said. "I don't plan on it. But I've got to admit, I'm gonna miss feeling like I could take on the world."

"Aiden, you were fine as you were," Sheppard said sincerely. "Your skills and your potential, I saw them from the beginning. It was a great loss to the service when you were taken."

"Taken?" Denny said. "That's kind, given what I did to you."

"Yeah, well," Sheppard said, "that's over, if you'll let it be. It's time to have you home, Lieutenant."

Denny nodded. "There's one thing, Sir," he said.

"What's that?"

"Call me Denny?"

Sheppard looked puzzled.

"I'm not that other man you keep talking to, not anymore," Denny said. "Sure, Aiden Ford is a part of me. But like it or not, I've changed."

Sheppard was silent, struggling to process what he was hearing. That old phrase, 'you can't go home again', maybe it was true, he thought.

"Denny it is then," John said.

OoOoOo

Meanwhile, in the isolation room …

"Sam?"

Jack moved closer to the bed as Sam fought to regain consciousness. Her eyelids fluttered open and she turned her head to take in her surroundings. She seemed calm. That was until she noticed the restraints holding her wrists and ankles strapped to the bed.

Suddenly aware of her lack of freedom, Sam began to struggle, pulling recklessly at her bonds. It was as if Jack wasn't there, she was so focused on getting free. If she kept it up, she was sure to hurt herself.

Simply calling to her did no good. Finally, Jack took hold of her shoulders and looked her directly in the eye.

"Sam! Stop it, you'll hurt yourself," he pleaded.

Sure enough, Sam ceased her frenzied efforts. Gratefully she didn't scream. Instead she simply looked at him, long and hard, as if seeing him for the first time.

"Jack?" she queried.

"That's right," he said. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. You're safe."

"You're Jack?"

"Yes, I am," he said. The fact that she was asking the question was eerily reminiscent of Denny's warnings that she'd lost sections of her memory. More precisely, they'd been stolen from her. "Do you remember me?"

She'd stopped struggling. That was something. Sam was still, not straining at her bonds. Instead she stared at Jack, her luminous blue eyes full of questions.

"Not really," she admitted. "You're familiar, but no, I'm not sure who you are."

Jack winced and swallowed hard. This wasn't fair. Still he reminded himself, she seemed to feel safe with him.

"I'm your husband," he said softly. "We've known each other a long time. I love you."

He watched her try to process this.

"He said you hurt me," she said tentatively. "But I know you'd never do that."

"You're right," Jack answered. "I'd never do anything to hurt you."

Again more silence as Sam worked to absorb his words. Then, "Am I a Wraith?"

"No," Jack said. "You're not a Wraith."

Sam nodded as best she could in her position. Her confusion was overwhelming.

"Would you let me sit up?" she asked. "It's uncomfortable being tied down like this."

"Sure," Jack said, without much thought. It was Sam after all. As gently as he could he began to release her bonds, first those that held her wrists.

"Better?" Jack asked as he helped her sit up.

"Much, thank you," she answered, her eyes fixed on him.

"Let's get you out of here, Sam," he suggested innocently. "Maybe once you see more of the place everything will start to come back to you."

"Maybe," she agreed. "Sam, is that my name?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, you're Sam, Samantha Carter."

She nodded in return.

A moment later, with her restraints removed, Jack helped her to her feet.

"I'm so glad you're back," he said, fixing her with a look of infinite tenderness. Carefully, he reached up to stroke her face.

She simply stared at him.

"You don't remember anything?"

"He told me you abducted me and experimented on me," she replied. "But I remember none of it."

"Whoever he was, he lied to you."

"And you are telling me the truth?"

"Yes, I am," Jack said, willing her to believe him. His eyes locked with hers said all she'd ever need to hear.

Sam nodded. "I don't believe you've ever hurt me."

The two stood inches from each other. Each seemed to drink in the sight of the other. Despite all that had changed, Sam felt the attraction that had always drawn her to Jack. But she felt something else as well, a feeling born of instinct and nurtured in alien beings for millennia. A hunger, both powerful and fearful, something she'd recently begun to indulge.

It frightened her.

And she loved him, she knew that much. She loved this man.

She could never harm him.

TBC

A/N: Happy Easter to all!

And Happy Spring as well, even if it is still freezing here!

Please review, I'd love to know what you think of where the story is going.