Chapter 20:

Egression Pains

I wake up in Atem's arms with the Sun shining brightly in my face. I feel Anon here with me and smile to myself. I get out and go out to the balcony.

Tears flood my eyes as I realize that Atem and the men are going back to war today. I've already lost my son, and now I might lose my husband, too. He's already been injured. What's next? I can't stand the thought. I hear Atem awaken and come out to see me. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly. "Atem?"

"Yes, love?"

"You have to promise me something."

"Of course, Nefertiri. Anything."

"Promise me that you'll be careful, please… I don't want to lose you, too." I start to cry. He shushes me and hugs me tightly.

"I will, love. I promise I will. I won't let him get the best of me. I won't let you lose me."

"Good." I rest my head against his chest. We stay like this for a while. I love this feeling. We spend most of the day together, enjoying each other's company before he has to go. Atem then goes to attend some duties.

I make my way back to bed to rest, per Shadi's instructions. I'm to be on bedrest for half the day, and I'm free to do as I please for the rest of the day. I rub my growing belly as I wait for Shadi to come and make his daily check-up. I gather my papyri and begin to read.

Shadi enters and I flash him a soft smile. I'm more than a little surprised when I see a slight blush tint his cheeks. I think nothing of it and offer him a chair next to my bed. He sits and begins his prayers to the Trinity—Isis, Hathor (1), and Heqet (2). I meditate as he prays to stay calm. I can't shake the feeling that something awful is going to happen soon, and as the more I try to fight it, the stronger the feeling grows.

He notices the worried look on my face. "Is everything all right, my Queen?"

I shake my head and smile again. "Yes, Yes. I'm fine."

"Are you sure, Majesty? You seem troubled."

I nod slightly. "I'm sure. Everything's okay."

He nods and moves toward me. He checks my vitals, and rubs my stomach to feel the baby's kicks. He hands me a strengthening potion and takes his seat again. "I'm happy to report that everything looks to be okay. You should be able to come off bedrest in no time."

I smile softly. "That'll be the day."

He lets loose a soft chuckle. "Cheer up, my lady. I assure you, it'll happen in no time."

I sit up against our pillows. "Yeah, sure."

He lays his hand on mine. "I'll leave you to your thoughts, Majesty." He gathers his supplies and whisks out of the room. I lie back and take a few deep breaths to stay the baby. Before I know it, I'm asleep.

I rub my large belly as I hear the case for the last petitioner. I make my ruling in his favor and smile as he leaves happily. With my duties done for the day, I decide to go and spend some quiet time with Alex. I rise and dismount the throne when all too suddenly an agonizing cramp assaults my lower stomach. I release a scream, and collapse in a pool of blood.

I wake up in a dimly lit room with Mahado and Shadi standing over me. "Nefertiri, it's time. You're having the baby," Mahado begins.

My thoughts register as I feel the baby pushing down as he tries to come out. "Oh, I…" I scream in anguish as he pushes down on me. I start to push as I feel my organs contracting to make it easier. Shadi has his hands between my legs, ready to pull once the baby actually starts coming.

The labor is daunting. Hours and hours pass, with still no sign of him. I'm frustrated to the point of despair. I can feel him right there, but as much as I push he won't come through. I pray to Isis for the strength to continue on like this. I sit up to begin pushing again. I push and I push, and I scream as I finally feel him coming through. I smile to myself as he passes out of my body.

"Congratulations, Majesty. You have a son." My grin becomes a bright smile. A son. A chance to get it right this time. I know I failed Anon, but I won't fail my new son.

Shadi takes him to clean him up. He calls Mahado over, and I can feel the tone of the room change. Mahado takes the baby from him and hands him to me before backing away. I look in his eyes and can tell he's absolutely terrified. "Mahado, I—" He looks down at the baby, and I do the same.

I move the cloth away from his little face, and am horrified. His skin is an awful deep gray, almost black, like the color of slate rock. And his eyes… His eyes are as black as night. This isn't my son. This is a monster, come to terrify me.

I wake up screaming, crying, and in a cold sweat. Atem comes rushing in. "Nefertiri, I was just coming to see you. What's wrong?"

I wipe the sweat from my brow as he sits down beside me. "Nothing, nothing. It was just a bad dream."

"It sounded like more than that."

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry to scare you."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"No, no. I don't want to trouble you."

"You're never any trouble, love." He wraps his arms around me and moves to sit with me. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nod and lay back against him. "I'm fine, love. I promise." He nods and rests with me for a few moments.

We hear little footsteps running towards us. "Mommy, Daddy!" Alex runs and jumps on the bed with us before snuggling up to Atem. She's always been her Daddy's little princess.

"Hi, sweetie," I greet her as I give her a kiss and a hug.

"Hello, Princess," Atem says as he does the same.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"Daddy why do you have to leave again? I don't want you to go!" I put my hand to my mouth. I certainly wasn't expecting that.

Atem swallows the lump in his throat and holds her closer. "I know, baby, and I don't want to go. But I have to protect you and Mommy. There are very bad people out there that want to see us get hurt."

"Okay, Daddy, but promise me you'll come back soon."

"Of course, Princess. I'll come back just as soon as I can." She snuggles up to him, and we tell her stories to pass the time.

Mahado knocks before entering. "Pharaoh, my Queen, it's time for the summoning."

"Right, of course." Atem gets up and holds his hand out to me. I take it and pick Alex up. We head to the Summoning Arena, and take our seats before Atem begins the oratory.

"As we go back to war, I want you to remember what we're fighting for. Look upon the face of the Queen and remember you motivation. As you probably know, my wife—your queen—is also expecting our next child. So not only are you fighting for her, but for your unborn heir as well. Remember this and let it give you the strength to fight."

They cheer loudly, and I hear things like, "Remember why we fight!"

"Remember the Jewel of Egypt!"

"For our heir!"

I start to cry. More lives will be me and my baby. I can't take this. I look down at my belly. There's a possibility that my baby might not know his father. It pains me to my heart.

It's my turn to speak. I rise and take a deep breath. "I stand before you today… to encourage you to stay strong. Not for me and my baby, but for your own wives and mothers. I know it gets hard sometimes, but you must persevere. My baby and I are most appreciative and thankful for your bravery. It means the world to me. It really does. I thank you all so much."

They cheer louder still, and we go to feast. I recite the opening prayers, and we begin to eat. Once we are done, we retire to the Royal Gardens for the final goodbyes. Atem and I hold each other for a long while. I don't want him to leave, and I know he doesn't want to go. Separating like this is so painful. I don't know that I can take this again. Especially this time, being pregnant, knowing that I'm pregnant this time. Atem was there to share in everything when I was expecting Alex, and now he won't be here for any of the firsts with this baby.

It comes time for them to leave. We share a long goodbye kiss that is still too short, and before I know it, he's gone.

A couple months have passed since Atem left. It's so hard without him. I love him so much. He's my life. I miss him more than I ever thought possible, and my anguish grows by the day.

It's almost time for me to have the baby. I'm so big now; you couldn't possibly miss it. I feel him moving and rolling all around in my belly.

I look out the window at the river and the rest of Thebes beyond it. It's still well before dawn, but I can't sleep for the life of me, so I get up and head out to the balcony. I pray and ask the Gods to keep Atem and the men safe. I would absolutely die if I lost him, too.

Mahado comes in after a while. "Nefertiri, may I come in?"

"Of course, of course. Come sit down." He comes in and sits down beside me,

"How're you feeling, Nefertiri?"

"I'm all right. It's just really hard, going through this pregnancy with Atem."

He wraps his arm around my waist. "I know it's hard, Nefertiri. You can get through this; I know you will. You're a strong woman, and the people are looking to you to see how to whole situation with grace."

I smile slightly. "Thank you, Mahado. That really means a lot to me."

"Anytime." I rest my head on his shoulder. He hugs me and holds me close. I know that with him here, I can get through this.

I look down at my stomach as the baby moves. It seems like now every time I think about the baby I can't help but think about Anon. Yes, this baby is a miracle for sure, but I can't help thinking that I had to lose my son to get to this point. He was my everything, my reason for living. He gave me the strength to bear through that hell-hole I called being a servant. He gave my life purpose, meaning, and hope. Life is hard without him. I just have to keep telling myself that he is in a better place, that he is away from this life, away from his father and the men who hurt him. That is the only positive from all this—he's finally free.

Mahado has really been there for me. He listens to me, comforts me. He holds me close and tells me it'll be okay. He lets me cry to him, and sometimes he even cries to me. We help each other through this. We were the only parents Anon really had.

I owe Mahado so much. I don't know that I could survive this point in my life—losing Anon and being without Atem—without Mahado with me. He is like my rock, my armor against the loneliness. I can't help for him, though. I know he has feelings for me, and I've come to terms with the fact that I have feelings for him, too, but we can never be together in that special way. I know it pains him because at times it pains me.

I waddle out of the palace on the south side to watch Ra descend into the west behind the mountains. It's always such a beautiful sight; it gives me such peace. I barely manage to sit down in the sand when the crier rushes to me. "My Queen, My Queen! An urgent message from the Pharaoh's camp!"

"Oh, dear." I take the scroll from him and begin to read it.

Your Highness,

It upsets me a great deal to have to tell you this, but the Pharaoh was injured yet again in battle. It's another arrow wound, to the stomach. The Pharaoh is not doing well, and this time the journey home could very well cost him his life. He bids me write this letter to request your presence here, once you have the baby. The Pharaoh would like nothing more than to be with you now.

Your humble servant,

Ammon

Tears flood my eyes, my heart aches, and my breathing goes shallow. I manage to find the strength to get up and head to the stables. I saddle my horse, Khepri, and command the servants to prepare me a bad of supplies for the journey.

Mahado and Shadi come rushing out to me. "We heard that you were out here saddling your horse. What do you think you're doing? You're certainly not in any condition to ride!" Mahado starts.

"Atem has been injured again. I have to go see him."

"Are you mad? You'll never be able to make the journey to Kadesh in your state," he argues.

"I don't care. I have to see him before—"

"So you'd risk your baby's life just to tend to some wounds?"

That hurts. My face becomes an icy glare. "I wouldn't expect you to understand." I mount, and Shadi hands me the supply sack.

"I know it would be foolish to try and stop you, so please allow me to accompany you, Majesty. I'll do my best to make sure no harm comes to your baby," Shadi asks.

I nod to him. "Yes, of course, Shadi. I was going to ask you to come."

"I'm coming, too—" Mahado starts.

I give him a hard look. "I don't need you. Besides, you've made your opinion clear. I refuse to ride alongside someone who thinks me foolish for loving my husband and wanting to be by his side," I reply coldly before kicking Khepri into a trot. Shadi and I start off on the ride to Kadesh. The trip will take three days if we're lucky. I just hope and pray that nothing else happens to Atem before I get there…

1-Hathor: Hathor was a goddess of motherhood in Ancient Egypt.

2-Heqet: Heqet was a goddess of childbirth in Ancient Egypt.

I don't know WHY it took me so long to write this. I promise I'll have the next update out faster.

Thanks for reading, and please leave a review.